Well I just ruined my life

[Don15]

damn 222. you are not going to match into anything. quit and go to nursing school

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[SilverCat]

I know it's disappointing not to get the score you want, but it's important that you don't let this setback affect your clerkship performance (I assume you'll be starting or have started clerkships by now). It's very easy to get depressed and want to give up, but as others have said, you still have a shot at ENT. You won't have this if you bomb your third year rotations and Step 2. You need to quit feeling sorry for yourself and move on.

And no, you are not "genetically stupid." You most likely got that Step 1 score because you made the mistake of putting research before studying. Moreover, I would not call someone who can contribute to five papers in two years "genetically stupid.".

 

[TBV]

Its a bell curve for a reason. People from both ends of the curve match in every specialty. Put your head down and work hard and you'll be fine.

Idk it has quite a skew on it though

 

[IsWhat]

It's legitimately concerning OP thinks his life is ruined after a less than expected step 1 score.

 

[Merely]

It's legitimately concerning OP thinks his life is ruined after a less than expected step 1 score.

How is it concerning that someone who has been dreaming about entering a field just got a huge setback on the way there and is now upset by it...? You're right that's so insane...

 

[IslandStyle808]

It's legitimately concerning OP thinks his life is ruined after a less than expected step 1 score.

More like the reality check of having all that hard work mean almost nothing due to one test score...

 

[IsWhat]

How is it concerning that someone who has been dreaming about entering a field just got a huge setback on the way there and is now upset by it...? You're right that's so insane...

If your interpretation of OPs post led you to believe he is simply "upset" by the score, then we have different interpretations. The title of the thread alone indicates more than just being upset.

Or maybe I'm just reading into it too much.

 

[Taddy Mason]

How is it concerning that someone who has been dreaming about entering a field just got a huge setback on the way there and is now upset by it...? You're right that's so insane...

Because OPs reaction is rather irrational. Also, based on his UWorld performance he should've known where he stood. If he was that concerned about his score and matching ENT he should've delayed. And as someone else mentioned in this thread, attending med school with 0 interest in anything other than one of the most competitive specialties isn't a very bright decision.

 

[failedatlife]

Hey guys, thank you, I was incredibly emotional last night when I posted.

No, I did study for Step as best I could. Research did not get in the way as evidenced by the hours I spent on the proven resources. I am in the top 20% of my class.

I did not go out much the first two years because I was dedicated. I used my spare time to do research. In retrospect I do wish I had more fun, but it's ok we can't fix the past.

UWORLD is a learning tool and at this point it doesn't matter what the correlation was. I think it was high 230s, but again, it doesn't matter.

If there is one thing that I have learned is that your life can change in an instant. I did this to myself and I have to live with the consequences of it. I'm on rotations now so I have to concentrate and work hard. I have already dug a grave for myself, now I have to see my work ethic (3rd year grades and publications) can somehow get me out of it.

Thank you and good luck!

 

[JustaDO]

How is it concerning that someone who has been dreaming about entering a field just got a huge setback on the way there and is now upset by it...? You're right that's so insane...

It seemed insane since, assuming a traditional curriculum, that someone so melodramatic was now going to be the student doctor to a patient. Furthermore, assuming that he/she is not a 18 yr old, he/she is a grown adult lamenting having "failed the field" with life being over. Can't forget that this person literally made a account JUST to declare his woes.

Kids should be coddled, adults, not so much.

 

[QofQuimica]

It seemed insane since, assuming a traditional curriculum, that someone so melodramatic was now going to be the student doctor to a patient. Furthermore, assuming that he/she is not a 18 yr old, he/she is a grown adult lamenting having "failed the field" with life being over. Can't forget that this person literally made a account JUST to declare his woes.

Kids should be coddled, adults, not so much.

Yeah, on a scale of 0-10, with zero being "life not at all affected" and ten being "worst possible life catastrophe imaginable," this gets up to maybe a 4 or 5. But then again, to me, a bad day at work means that somebody young and healthy who came in walky-talky unexpectedly died.

On the chance that OP is actually serious: dude, you need to get a grip. One test does not make or break your entire life; along with your MS3 grades/LORs/research, there is this other little test you have to take next year called Step 2. You should study for it and take it early, ideally with a much higher score than Step 1. Also, if your home school has an ENT program, now is a good time to get to know the PD/other influential ENT faculty and make your interests known if you haven't already. Not that Step scores are irrelevant for residency matching, but who you know (and who is willing to go to bat for you) is much more important at the residency app level than it was at the med school app level. So start making those connections now.

 

[Crayola227]

Banhammer coming in 3...2...

wait? we get banned for snarky comments about blowjobs? why didn't anyone warn me?

 

[lymphocyte]

A 222. Wanted to do ENT, I'll be lucky get my MD and match anything now. Actually I don't even deserve to match. I really did give this is my all, I really did. Completed all of Uworld (73% percentile), multiple times I did Pathoma, multiple times I did Sketchy, multiple times I did FA. And for what? A failure. That's all I am in life, a failure. I wish I could give you guys advice on how to study for Step, but you don't want mine. I was a very strong applicant to medical school in every regard, but my low 30s MCAT held me back then. I had to explain myself on every interview. Luckily one good school gave me a chance. In retrospect they shouldn't have. I disgraced my med school, my family, and most of all myself.

I did well the first two years. I have 5 first author publications (real publications, not that case report crap), 7 poster/oral presentations. All that time I spent, all for nothing. Well I take that back, at least I hope it helps the field, the field I'm never going to be a part of. And that's the hardest part, I never will be a part of the field because I just can't take a freaking standardized test to save my life. The best part is that I have an oral presentation on my research at a meeting coming up in a couple of months. I have to figure out how to pull myself together to give this talk to a bunch of academic ENTs, because deep down inside I just feel embarrassed now. Just so embarrassed. I'm even embarrassed to talk to my mentor anymore. The supportive 4th years and residents told me that you aren't your score, but God knows that's just how I (and every residency program) am going to see myself for the next two years. It was the same way with my MCAT score (everything else was good, actually great...but that score defined me and now this score defines me). I purposely never met with my program director here to show interest just in case this happened, and well, it happened.

If I could just give any advice to any 1st or 2nd years reading this (especially if you struggled with standardized tests like I have my whole life), try your hardest. The test is difficult especially if you are stupid like me or aren't a good test taker like me. You don't want to be as broken apart as I am right now. I'm going to keep trying hard on my rotations to honor them and keep writing papers, but I know in my heart that I just ruined my life, plain and simple.

When I read the title of your post, I thought you had gotten your second DUI or impregnated twins. Things really aren't that bad--even though they feel bad.

You tried your best, and your best wasn't good enough this time. It is what it is. But saying things like "I just ruined my life," branding yourself "failedatlife," telling us that you "already dug a grave," proclaiming that you are "stupid"--these are all signs of fatalistic and black-and-white thinking that will get you nowhere fast. And will also rightfully annoy a lot of smart/hard-working people who scored just as well as you did, or did a lot worse. (Tutoring people for Step 1, I can say that it's exactly this kind of uber high-stakes attitude that keeps a lot of people from doing better, because they amp themselves up so much that they burn out or get too nervous to even look at FA until it's too late. What's your lesson learned for Step 2CK?)

Shame will hold you back. It's why you're too embarrassed to talk to the mentors who are encouraging you to pursue the speciality. It's also probably why you even randomly told us about your "real publications, not that case report crap" and being in the the "top 20% of your class"--which might have struck some people as a little arrogant, but to me really seem more like your shield, your explanation that you still have value as a medical student despite your score. But you don't need that shield. Just fess up. Reach out to your mentors. They get it and have seen it all before. "I scored X. I have 13 publications/posters. What can I do to improve my odds? What are some good back-up options"? Etc. Be practical and pragmatic. Don't be shameful, because, what's the the point?

But you're allowed to hurt. Even if nobody else understands why. Go hug your mom or dad. And while you're at it, tell them that you feel like you "disgraced" them. See what happens. I bet they'll hug you even harder. Why? Because you're their child, and they loved you enough to give you the wherewithal to make it to med school. And nobody says, "my son or daughter is just a doctor," like nobody says "my son or daughter is just a plumber"--you are more than your occupation, and any honest job that pays the bills and supports others is as noble as any other job. Friend, where is your self-worth coming from?

Welcome to your first real "failure." Heretofore, your life opportunities will be slightly limited. Realistically, you'll still end up with a job paying $200,000+ with skills that are in demand across the country and even the world. And according to Charting Outcomes, you even have a 50:50 shot at matching ENT. Those aren't exactly horrible odds. What a first "failure" to have. I promise it'll get much worse. Wait until your first major surgical complication; wait until you get publicly nailed during a M&M; wait until you really do get a DUI--much worse things can and will happen. Best to learn how to cope now, while your "failure" really isn't that bad.

I wish you the very best OP. Good luck!

 

[TheFutureFatMan]

Hey guys, thank you, I was incredibly emotional last night when I posted.

No, I did study for Step as best I could. Research did not get in the way as evidenced by the hours I spent on the proven resources. I am in the top 20% of my class.

I did not go out much the first two years because I was dedicated. I used my spare time to do research. In retrospect I do wish I had more fun, but it's ok we can't fix the past.

UWORLD is a learning tool and at this point it doesn't matter what the correlation was. I think it was high 230s, but again, it doesn't matter.

If there is one thing that I have learned is that your life can change in an instant. I did this to myself and I have to live with the consequences of it. I'm on rotations now so I have to concentrate and work hard. I have already dug a grave for myself, now I have to see my work ethic (3rd year grades and publications) can somehow get me out of it.

Thank you and good luck!

Incredibly emotional? That's an understatement lol. Therapy is a great tool and can reinforce healthy thought patterns when facing life events. Crap happens. Learning how to handle it without a "the world is ending in flames and flying monkeys" attitude would be helpful.


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[Anicetus]

I realize this came off dramatic. But I literally gave hundreds of hours the end of 1st year, summer, and 2nd year to publishing manuscripts. I contributed a lot to the field because I really enjoyed it. It's all gone now, it's hard to explain. I am having a hard time accepting that. I failed myself, I failed the field, I just failed. I want to be mad at myself, but I know I tried. It's just as the poster above me just said, I have to accept the fact that I am genetically stupid. Hard work goes a long way but it doesn't cure stupidity.

If you wanna go all in, you could still do the ENT match with a go big or go home attitude. Worst case scenario you don't match and try again until you develop another passion. Best case scenario you become part of that bottom step 1 scores who match, albeit it may be Rocky clinical cottage of southern Idaho, but hey an ENT is an ENT at that point right?

 

[AMEHigh]

How is it concerning that someone who has been dreaming about entering a field just got a huge setback on the way there and is now upset by it...? You're right that's so insane...

There is a difference between upset and thinking your life is over. I failed step 1 and ultimately didn't match in to my first choice specialty. I never thought of myself as stupid or that the world was ending. I was upset for a day and then moved on to do what I had to do and now I'm in a great residency program and very happy.

The road through medical school, residency and being an attending is difficult and isolating. Mental health concerns are legit in this field and we should notice when someone is struggling. The OP's multiple posts calling him/herself stupid and saying that he failed the field of ENT are concerning. I hope that he or she has in real life support.

 

[badasshairday]

Should have read rapid review pathology x3 and listened to goljan audio x2 to ensure 250+.

 

[badasshairday]

Op. Now that you are done with preclinical training, just brace yourself for true heart ache and suffering you will see in the patients you will meet. Step 1 is just a test. Medicine is hard, not just because if the knowledge needed, but it can be emotionally draining. Seeing people dying an untimely death is tough. You didn't fail. Good luck and go out there and be the best doctor you can be.

 

[IlDestriero]

You're not necessarily done with ENT, but your home team better think you walk on water and have 10/10 LORs.
USMLE is just one data point. Be better than everyone else on your rotations. Work harder, read more, try harder, and come earlier/leave later.
Then you may have a chance.


--
Il Destriero

 

[HelpPleaseMD]

just try your best and let the chips fall where they fall. you seem to have the research stuff down pat. focus on MS3/ step II. do some aways. see what happens. i know it feels terrible now but it will pass.

 

[FourniersGreenGang]

Hey for real, ENT sucks, don't buy into the zeitgeist. Just find another of the multitude of fields out there that you like. It definitely sounds like you have an amazing residency app already, and it's a decent step score. You will probably be able to do mostly anything else minus the other ultra competitive specialties. Besides just kill step 2 and redeem yourself somewhat.

 

[ninjaman22]

Someone needs to take a chill pill.

 

[bannie22]

But UWorld 230+ correlates to 210+ on Step 1 so OP actually overachieved.

 

[atomi]

A 222. Wanted to do ENT, I'll be lucky get my MD and match anything now. Actually I don't even deserve to match. I really did give this is my all, I really did. Completed all of Uworld (73% percentile), multiple times I did Pathoma, multiple times I did Sketchy, multiple times I did FA. And for what? A failure. That's all I am in life, a failure. I wish I could give you guys advice on how to study for Step, but you don't want mine. I was a very strong applicant to medical school in every regard, but my low 30s MCAT held me back then. I had to explain myself on every interview. Luckily one good school gave me a chance. In retrospect they shouldn't have. I disgraced my med school, my family, and most of all myself.

Wow dude, really? You got into medical school, something the vast majority of people cannot do. Then you did well. You scored average on the board exam after the first two years. Half the people that took it did worse than you. Yes, you can still match in ENT. I did worse than you and went into a competitive specialty. Get a grip.

Let me tell you about a friend of mine who did ruin his life. Drank too much one night at a party, dozed off behind the wheel, crossed the center line, collided head on with another car and killed the driver. He did 5 years in prison. Hopefully this gives you some perspective.

You should not be ashamed of your step 1 score. You SHOULD be ashamed of posting this ridiculous thread.

 

[Taddy Mason]

But UWorld 230+ correlates to 210+ on Step 1 so OP actually overachieved.

N=7 in real peoples (plus however many testemonials I've come across on SDN and Reddit) but if you do UWorld blocks like actual step blocks and apply the % correct (NOT percentile) to the formulas/graphs on teh interwebz the correlation between UWorld performance and actual Step score is pretty solid. Hence why OP shouldn't be surprised by his/her actual score.

 

[Spikebd]

A 222. Wanted to do ENT, I'll be lucky get my MD and match anything now. Actually I don't even deserve to match. I really did give this is my all, I really did. Completed all of Uworld (73% percentile), multiple times I did Pathoma, multiple times I did Sketchy, multiple times I did FA. And for what? A failure. That's all I am in life, a failure. I wish I could give you guys advice on how to study for Step, but you don't want mine. I was a very strong applicant to medical school in every regard, but my low 30s MCAT held me back then. I had to explain myself on every interview. Luckily one good school gave me a chance. In retrospect they shouldn't have. I disgraced my med school, my family, and most of all myself.

I did well the first two years. I have 5 first author publications (real publications, not that case report crap), 7 poster/oral presentations. All that time I spent, all for nothing. Well I take that back, at least I hope it helps the field, the field I'm never going to be a part of. And that's the hardest part, I never will be a part of the field because I just can't take a freaking standardized test to save my life. The best part is that I have an oral presentation on my research at a meeting coming up in a couple of months. I have to figure out how to pull myself together to give this talk to a bunch of academic ENTs, because deep down inside I just feel embarrassed now. Just so embarrassed. I'm even embarrassed to talk to my mentor anymore. The supportive 4th years and residents told me that you aren't your score, but God knows that's just how I (and every residency program) am going to see myself for the next two years. It was the same way with my MCAT score (everything else was good, actually great...but that score defined me and now this score defines me). I purposely never met with my program director here to show interest just in case this happened, and well, it happened.

If I could just give any advice to any 1st or 2nd years reading this (especially if you struggled with standardized tests like I have my whole life), try your hardest. The test is difficult especially if you are stupid like me or aren't a good test taker like me. You don't want to be as broken apart as I am right now. I'm going to keep trying hard on my rotations to honor them and keep writing papers, but I know in my heart that I just ruined my life, plain and simple.

Wow OP.

 

[NWwildcat2013]

You don't even know whether you like ENT more than everything else. As you go through third year keep an open mind and you may be surprised at what you find.




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[VisionaryTics]

You don't even know whether you like ENT more than everything else. As you go through third year keep and open mind and you may be surprised at what you find.




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Very true. We have many, many students who do an actual ENT rotation (not just shadowing or whatever) and then switch to another field. ENT is not like internal medicine...you're not having it crammed down your throat during med school. Most people (even other physicians) have no idea what we do day in, day out. And there may be aspects of ENT you really enjoy, but you can often find those parts in other fields that aren't hideously competitive.

Beyond that, I've never really understood the idea that "I could only be happy doing X". If that's your thought process, you probably have a skewed perspective on X or on every other field. I'm not saying most people could be happy doing anything (I would shoot myself in IM, EM, peds), but could easily have seen myself going into gen surg, vascular surgery, OB/gyn, or anesthesia.

 

[JonMonkey]

I realize this came off dramatic. But I literally gave hundreds of hours the end of 1st year, summer, and 2nd year to publishing manuscripts. I contributed a lot to the field because I really enjoyed it. It's all gone now, it's hard to explain. I am having a hard time accepting that. I failed myself, I failed the field, I just failed. I want to be mad at myself, but I know I tried. It's just as the poster above me just said, I have to accept the fact that I am genetically stupid. Hard work goes a long way but it doesn't cure stupidity.

You know there is more to an applicant than just a board score and by no means is a 222 bad. Personally speaking, when I am reviewing applications for residency and fellowship positions I don't even pay attention to the numerical board score. I look to see did this person pass on the first time and did they improve their score from step 1 -> step 2 -> step 3. It is true that individual programs may have a score cut off that they use to filter out certain applications but at the end of the day I just want to know that you are going to pass your board exam at the end of your residency or fellowship. Having scores that are higher and higher shows me that you continue to learn and continue to improve and don't get a good step score and then regress thinking you are set. I find the extracurricular activities to be more telling about a person. Everyone studies and everyone takes tests but not everyone puts in the time away from all of that to be pro-active in their desired field.

Lets say that I have 2 applications in front of me. Applicant A went to a respectable medical school and scored a 240 on step 1 but did little to no extracurriculars for the field he is applying to and has LoR that say he was smart and worked hard as a medical student. Applicant B went to a similar medical school and scored a 215 on his step 1 but went to 2 national conference's and presented at one, was involved in multiple manuscript creations and has LoR that time and time again state that this person has a strong desire for a particular field and would make a great resident/fellow. I am interviewing applicant B every time.

Keep your head up, continue to learn, DO better on your next step exam, continue to do things in your desired field.

 

[Microshaft]

no, ruining your life is if you decide to smoke crack

 

[bannie22]

You know there is more to an applicant than just a board score and by no means is a 222 bad. Personally speaking, when I am reviewing applications for residency and fellowship positions I don't even pay attention to the numerical board score. I look to see did this person pass on the first time and did they improve their score from step 1 -> step 2 -> step 3. It is true that individual programs may have a score cut off that they use to filter out certain applications but at the end of the day I just want to know that you are going to pass your board exam at the end of your residency or fellowship. Having scores that are higher and higher shows me that you continue to learn and continue to improve and don't get a good step score and then regress thinking you are set. I find the extracurricular activities to be more telling about a person. Everyone studies and everyone takes tests but not everyone puts in the time away from all of that to be pro-active in their desired field.

Lets say that I have 2 applications in front of me. Applicant A went to a respectable medical school and scored a 240 on step 1 but did little to no extracurriculars for the field he is applying to and has LoR that say he was smart and worked hard as a medical student. Applicant B went to a similar medical school and scored a 215 on his step 1 but went to 2 national conference's and presented at one, was involved in multiple manuscript creations and has LoR that time and time again state that this person has a strong desire for a particular field and would make a great resident/fellow. I am interviewing applicant B every time.

Keep your head up, continue to learn, DO better on your next step exam, continue to do things in your desired field.

215 would not make the pd desk unless you have connections

 

[JonMonkey]

215 would not make the pd desk unless you have connections

Not true. Probably not for a premier university program or a highly competitive residency but there are a ton of programs that WILL look at you with that score IF you have other things on your resume. Also I was using that as a hypothetical example to illustrate a point.

 

[bannie22]

Not true. Probably not for a premier university program or a highly competitive residency but there are a ton of programs that WILL look at you with that score IF you have other things on your resume. Also I was using that as a hypothetical example to illustrate a point.

You dont consider ENT a highly competitive residency?

Then OK. I'm sure OP will get interviews from at least 50FM programs and 50Psych programs.

 

[gnu]

Not true. Probably not for a premier university program or a highly competitive residency but there are a ton of programs that WILL look at you with that score IF you have other things on your resume. Also I was using that as a hypothetical example to illustrate a point.

My PD and Chair don't even look at applications under 230, unless the med student rotated with us, and we're only maybe a slightly above average ENT program.

 

[Psai]

Not true. Probably not for a premier university program or a highly competitive residency but there are a ton of programs that WILL look at you with that score IF you have other things on your resume. Also I was using that as a hypothetical example to illustrate a point.

Not in ent. The competitiveness jumped like crazy these past few years. The people who didn't match had an average step 1 of like 245 in 2014.

 

[JonMonkey]

You dont consider ENT a highly competitive residency?

Then OK. I'm sure OP will get interviews from at least 50FM programs and 50Psych programs.

When did I say anything about ENT? I am not in ENT. I am simply telling this kid his life is not over. Calm down people.

 

[Psai]

When did I say anything about ENT? I am not in ENT. I am simply telling this kid his life is not over. Calm down people.

OP wants to do ent. That's the entire premise of the thread.

 

[JonMonkey]

OP wants to do ent. That's the entire premise of the thread.

The premise of the thread is that he feels that he bombed his step and his life as a doctor is now over, it's even how he titled the thread. I gave a hypothetical example illustrating that he has done more for himyself then just score a 222. In no way was I sacking the ENT specialty.

 

[Psai]

I see, I thought you were saying that a low step 1 could still make it to a pd's desk in ent but you're saying that he will match into some field. That's all well and true but he still wants to do ent. I think it's possible but will take a lot of effort, including a productive research year off, and residency program connections.

 

[GadRads]

This thread is fatalistic. I know someone who matched derm recently with low 220's/230's step 1/step 2, and certainly not with the impressive research involvement and productivity as you have.

For what it's worth, an ENT attending told me she wished went into anesthesia, most likely for lifestyle reasons.

While there is life, there is hope.

 

[Psai]

This thread is fatalistic. I know someone who matched derm recently with low 220's/230's step 1/step 2, and certainly not with the impressive research involvement and productivity as you have.

For what it's worth, an ENT attending told me she wished went into anesthesia, most likely for lifestyle reasons.

While there is life, there is hope.

Grass is always greener. You think about the good stuff other people have but if you don't experience the crap then you don't really know.

 

[bannie22]

Not sure which ENT has a difficult life! Especially when you easily make double of Anesthesia.

 

[Warderino92]

Not sure which ENT has a difficult life! Especially when you easily make double of Anesthesia.

Median MGMA income data for gas is higher than for ENT though.

 

[atomi]

Median MGMA income data for gas is higher than for ENT though.

So, who cares? Why do people not understand that this matters where you work? If you want to practice in a crowded urban area on the coasts, you're going to get paid below national average for most fields (if you're even lucky enough to find a job at all). If you want to work in the middle of nowhere in the Midwest more than 5 hours from the nearest small to medium sized city, you're going to make a killing, no matter what your field is. If you are in a place where you are needed, do all clinical work, are good at what you do, put in long hours, and have good business acumen, you can push 1 mil/year or more for most sub-specialties.

We have a major problem in medicine now with the large majority of second generation doctors, nearly all of whom want to do surgical sub-specialties in major cities touching the pacific or Atlantic oceans. These people, by and large, have never earned a dollar prior to med school and have absolutely no perspective.

 

[XxThaDoggxX]

I guess all the derm, ortho, & plastics gunners should read this.

Duly noted.

 

[IlDestriero]

We have a major problem in medicine now with the large majority of second generation doctors, nearly all of whom want to do surgical sub-specialties in major cities touching the pacific or Atlantic oceans. These people, by and large, have never earned a dollar prior to med school and have absolutely no perspective.

What does this mean?
How is that a major problem?
Who cares what they want to do, where they want to work, or if they're willing to accept lower income for a sunshine tax?
BTW, a good portion of the population lives in cities near the Atlantic and Pacific Oceans. I'm biased though, I'm not a big fan of the fly over states.


--
Il Destriero

 

[GonefromTX]

Those "case report crap" are the only thing I've ever published. I'm an MS 2 without a single honor. I feel terrific about myself and you should even more so.

 

[failedatlife]

I think this thread may start to get out of hand. Please realize that I started this the day I got my scores and I was a basket case. I've moved on since then and accepted the fact that I am in inferior test taker and I need to compensate in other ways or look at other career paths. I still have bouts where I think about the test and since I won't complain to anyone, I sometimes come on here and post things about Step I, feel free to ignore all those posts. There is still a long way to go (3rd year, Step II, more research) and a lot more I can mess up if I keep down in the dumps like I was when I got this score, so I am putting it to the back of my mind and focusing harder than I did before.

To anyone who felt offended by my post, I'm sorry (and case reports are absolutely necessary in medicine). To anyone who felt the need to make condescending comments when I was down, well that's not nice haha.

Someone looked past my poor MCAT score and saw all the good I did, and I got into a great medical school. Someone in some specialty will look past my dismal Step score and see all the great things I did. I have faith in that.

 

[Seth Joo]

A 222. Wanted to do ENT, I'll be lucky get my MD and match anything now. Actually I don't even deserve to match. I really did give this is my all, I really did. Completed all of Uworld (73% percentile), multiple times I did Pathoma, multiple times I did Sketchy, multiple times I did FA. And for what? A failure. That's all I am in life, a failure. I wish I could give you guys advice on how to study for Step, but you don't want mine. I was a very strong applicant to medical school in every regard, but my low 30s MCAT held me back then. I had to explain myself on every interview. Luckily one good school gave me a chance. In retrospect they shouldn't have. I disgraced my med school, my family, and most of all myself.

I did well the first two years. I have 5 first author publications (real publications, not that case report crap), 7 poster/oral presentations. All that time I spent, all for nothing. Well I take that back, at least I hope it helps the field, the field I'm never going to be a part of. And that's the hardest part, I never will be a part of the field because I just can't take a freaking standardized test to save my life. The best part is that I have an oral presentation on my research at a meeting coming up in a couple of months. I have to figure out how to pull myself together to give this talk to a bunch of academic ENTs, because deep down inside I just feel embarrassed now. Just so embarrassed. I'm even embarrassed to talk to my mentor anymore. The supportive 4th years and residents told me that you aren't your score, but God knows that's just how I (and every residency program) am going to see myself for the next two years. It was the same way with my MCAT score (everything else was good, actually great...but that score defined me and now this score defines me). I purposely never met with my program director here to show interest just in case this happened, and well, it happened.

If I could just give any advice to any 1st or 2nd years reading this (especially if you struggled with standardized tests like I have my whole life), try your hardest. The test is difficult especially if you are stupid like me or aren't a good test taker like me. You don't want to be as broken apart as I am right now. I'm going to keep trying hard on my rotations to honor them and keep writing papers, but I know in my heart that I just ruined my life, plain and simple.

Now I know to take every post on this board with a very large grain of salt, so much negativity on this board, you did not ruin your life, you will still be a physician. You won't be an ENT, but still be a physician, only thing is that you will have to work for a living.

 

[atomi]

What does this mean?
How is that a major problem?
Who cares what they want to do, where they want to work, or if they're willing to accept lower income for a sunshine tax?
BTW, a good portion of the population lives in cities near the Atlantic and Pacific Oceans. I'm biased though, I'm not a big fan of the fly over states.

I suppose that if you are not concerned about the quality and availability of specialists in "flyover states," then no, it's not a major problem.