"Things I learn" & "Medicine Sucks" discussion thread

[Elynor]

Bless all of you and your witty humor! You helped me through an unbearable camping trip of 3 days incl travelling time, with my familie.


I have read every 56 pages (100 posts each) and Im so sorry i've finished!

I loved the humor you have, and i completely applaud what others call heartless---- just because people choose to make a choice, and keep shooting for it (multiple suicide attempts anyone?) doesnt mean we cant have a giggle =3

Altho the proffession im aiming for, and my intended specialization, those are the people i will be working with

Much love and laughter too you all, thanks for all the giggles!
~Eleanor

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[hsmom]

I'm not a doc, but am loving this thread. My lesson is from my best friend's husband:

If you have a pair of spiffy new rare earth magnets, which you are happily wearing on either side of your hand, take them off before you go to the bathroom. Because if you don't, they will flip down and somehow land on either side of your penis, and you will scream a lot and become the ER staff's new favorite story.

Apparently it was quite difficult to pry the magnets apart.

 

[alaska bound]

Long time lurker. Speaking of small favors to the patients...

If you're "stuck" treating patients bounced from the emergency room to your urgent care center (and why I was required to go to emergency first, I don't know), try ... reading the charts or talking to your triage nurse?

So when a woman comes in, coughing hard enough to not have slept for several days, running a fever of 103, you won't do a physical examination, run the quick-strep swab and finally try to send her home with "something for her cough" that explicitly says "Do not take if breastfeeding or pregnant" - when she's seven months pregnant and you just had your hands on her abdomen during the examination.

And work on not looking surprised at her condition when she asks for an alternative treatment option since she is in the third trimester ...

 

[jbar]

How were their hands on your abdomen if they didn't do a physical exam?

 

[docB]

How about something doctors really SHOULD learn from their patients?

If someone with a nerve stimulator implant in his back comes to the ER complaining of loss of feeling in his leg, don't accuse him of faking the pain to get narcotics after he states he doesn't want any and is under a narcotics contract with his PCP. Also, don't send him off for an X-Ray without turning the nerve stimlator off because it will end up damaged. Especially don't tell him that there's absolutely nothing wrong with him when he's collecting SSDI, has had two prior back surgeries, and has a nerve stimulator implant. Obviously, something is wrong. If you do all of the above, don't expect to not get turned in to the licensing board.

So what was wrong that time?

 

[SoCuteMD]

How about something doctors really SHOULD learn from their patients?

If someone with a nerve stimulator implant in his back comes to the ER complaining of loss of feeling in his leg, don't accuse him of faking the pain to get narcotics after he states he doesn't want any and is under a narcotics contract with his PCP. Also, don't send him off for an X-Ray without turning the nerve stimlator off because it will end up damaged. Especially don't tell him that there's absolutely nothing wrong with him when he's collecting SSDI, has had two prior back surgeries, and has a nerve stimulator implant. Obviously, something is wrong. If you do all of the above, don't expect to not get turned in to the licensing board.

how does x-ray damage a nerve stimulator? Isn't that something that the patient should be aware of and make the physician/staff aware of since it's fairly uncommon?

 

[bros]

Not in the medical field, but I certainly go to doctors a LOT.

Story #1 (Not ER related, but hey):
I was in the hospital for 10 days summer 2007 for a video EEG. On like day 6 or so, my mom baked cookies and brought in enough for every nurse in the pediatric neurology ward I was in.

The nurses paid a lot of attention to me after that

Summary: Everyone likes delicious cookies

Story #2:
Earlier that summer. in June 2007, I had a seizure (epileptic, didn't go to ER), my doctor said there was no concussion, so no need to go to to ER.

My neurologist upped my Tegretol XR from 200 mg 2xdaily to 600 mg 2xdaily.

Apparently my body did NOT like that much of an increase.

Fast forward three days after the seizure, I was slurring my speech, unable to walk without assisstance, vomiting, slightly altered mental state.

A whole barrel of fun. So my neurologist had my parents rush me to the ER where he'd meet us. Bringing a doctor to the ER is better than waiting for hours (How do ER Docs feel when patients have a doctor come to the ER with them?)

My BP was 153/100 (It is normally 100/70, i'm 5'6" 103 lbs). My veins were basically popping out of my arms. I'm highly sensitive to pain, the nurse stuck the needle in and I felt nothing.

that is never a good sign

especially when blood shoots out of the veins when they try to draw blood for the millions of tests they had to do

Luckily the doctor knew some of the people and got them to rush it so I wouldn't have to be admitted overnight (I was still there from 10 PM to 1 AM)

Turned out my tegretol level somehow became 18

Toxic is 12.

Normal is 8-11 (i believe)

Oh medicine, so much fun

My medical history is full of fun, I can probably think of more stories, most aren't ED related though (I have a bunch because I was born at 25 1/2 weeks gestation 1 lb 8 oz dropped down to 1 lb 1 oz w/ 15% chance of survival)

 

[SoCuteMD]

A whole barrel of fun. So my neurologist had my parents rush me to the ER where he'd meet us. Bringing a doctor to the ER is better than waiting for hours (How do ER Docs feel when patients have a doctor come to the ER with them?)

Depends on the situation. If it's truly an urgent/emergent patient, especially with an odd problem that I'm not familiar with like you were having then I'd be really grateful.

On the other hand, if it's a non-urgent "Go wait in the ER for me to see you, and DON'T let the people in the ER see you" then I think it's kind of inappropriate. This isn't your satellite office space, it's OUR office space. Yes, we truly have to evaluate, write up, and bill every patient who comes through our doors.

I can't tell you how many patients I've seen in transfer or who called their PMD/specialist and say, "But I was told someone would meet me here!" I've never seen it actually happen.

 

[Herekittykitty]

Saw a link on another forum, non-doctor, ect. (Actually, I think I'm the only bio major at college who isn't going into the health field).

Very funny thread. Anyway, as someone who underwent surgery for the first time last year, I'd like to share some very important lessons I learned:

1. If you are on safari in Africa, and you hear about an event where you can "walk with lion cubs!", ask yourself a question: by "cub", do they mean cute lil' house-cat-sized baby Simba sort of cub, or do they mean a lion that is technically not fully grown, but is still large enough to do serious damage if he gets it into his mind to use your leg as a chew toy?

2. If it turns out that the so-called-cubs are the latter type, don't let down your guard because "They're tame, it's perfectly safe, no one's ever gotten hurt". Especially when your guide adds that you should be careful around the male, because he's a bit frisky.

3. If you must experience the joys of being mauled by a large predator, try not to have it happen in a third-world hellhole like Zimbabwe. The nice people at the clinic are doing their best, really, but they may not be familiar with some of the finesse of trauma treatment, such as when it's better to let an injury drain than sew up right away.
(Thankfully, when the cellulitus became apparent, I was in Cape Town, SA. Christian Barnard Hospital is apparently one of the better ones on the continent).

4. Apparel advice:
DO NOT wear your best pair of pants to the lion walk. They will be beyond all hope of repair.
DO get a free T-shirt from the apologetic lion walk people. That way, when you get back to the States you can paint I WAS BITTEN BY A LION AND ALL I GOT WAS THIS STUPID T-SHIRT on it, and all your friends will laugh.

 

[DoctorMedic]

good story, sorry about your leg but i laughed

 

[justapatient]

how does x-ray damage a nerve stimulator? Isn't that something that the patient should be aware of and make the physician/staff aware of since it's fairly uncommon?

Just a lurker here but I have a spinal cord stimulator, xray has no effect on it at all. My ER doesn't have the ability to turn it on or off, I have the remote programmed to my unit, the ER doesn't. It is his responsibility to inform the staff. I had xrays it March to check the stimulator because it was sitting in the wrong position, the only thing that was recommended was to turn it off, there was no damage, now an MRI is a different story.

 

[DoctorMedic]

Just a lurker here but I have a spinal cord stimulator, xray has no effect on it at all. My ER doesn't have the ability to turn it on or off, I have the remote programmed to my unit, the ER doesn't. It is his responsibility to inform the staff. I had xrays it March to check the stimulator because it was sitting in the wrong position, the only thing that was recommended was to turn it off, there was no damage, now an MRI is a different story.

this person is stating that they never turned their stimulator off because the ED never told them too which is how it was damaged by xray

 

[justapatient]

this person is stating that they never turned their stimulator off because the ED never told them too which is how it was damaged by xray

My issue is that the stimulator is in his body, he needs to know how it works and if it needs to be turned off or not. There are a lot of medical staff that don't know the recommendations for his stimulator, it is his responsibility to educate himself, his blame is misplaced. Just because it is recommended does not mean it is necessary, it also says it should be turned off going through shopping store alarms, it doesn't mean that it is damaged if it is on and you go through the alarms. I have had several xrays with the stimulator on. As I mentioned before, in March I had my stimulator revised because I lost weight and it was no longer attached inside, the doc order xrays to see the placement of the stimulator and he said that having on for the xray was fine. I have serious doubts that his implant was damaged by an xray, and even if it was, he should have known how to work his implant. It is not the ED job to educate him on something that is pain management doctors should have.

One last thing, he said they shouldn't have sent him back without turning off the implant, my first post was mostly that they wouldn't be able to turn off the stimulator, he should have a remote that controls his implant, the ED wouldn't have one laying about that would work on his unit.

 

[bros]

Depends on the situation. If it's truly an urgent/emergent patient, especially with an odd problem that I'm not familiar with like you were having then I'd be really grateful.

On the other hand, if it's a non-urgent "Go wait in the ER for me to see you, and DON'T let the people in the ER see you" then I think it's kind of inappropriate. This isn't your satellite office space, it's OUR office space. Yes, we truly have to evaluate, write up, and bill every patient who comes through our doors.

I can't tell you how many patients I've seen in transfer or who called their PMD/specialist and say, "But I was told someone would meet me here!" I've never seen it actually happen.

With me, the doctor was like "Oh CRAP i've been trying to reach you all day. Meet me at xxxxx Medical Center."

The problem turned out to be a combination of dehydration, seizure aftereffects, and a high amount of medication in my blood.

I still felt like crap for a week or so after.

And during that ER visit, they discovered a PVC that still persists today.

They have no idea what caused it. Probably the seizure did something

 

[StMarc]

While I am not a doctor nor am I studying to be one, I wanted to a) thank all of you for what you do and for providing much Amusement and maybe a little food for thought through this forum, and b) share with you something I taught an ER attending by accident some time ago.

I have IBS, and I spend about a third of my waking hours (including many waking hours I did not want to be waking hours) in pain ranging from "my tummy feels funny" to "if you really loved me you would shoot me in the head." Ironically, I have a very low pain threshold - I frequently tear up while having my teeth cleaned - but I have by necessity evolved a very high pain tolerance. What I taught this doctor was the difference.

One night I started experiencing what felt like very painful heartburn, which is not a normal symptom of my IBS. It got worse and worse to the point where I was having difficulty concentrating enough to walk, and eventually my wife called an ambulance. They took me to the ER and they did the basic schtick checking for possible heart attack or other cardiac event, etc, etc. So long as I could sit still and concentrate on not experiencing pain, I wasn't too bad, and when asked about my pain I replied 6-7/10 - which, for me, was absolutely true. So once they made sure I was in no immediate danger I kind of slipped down the priority list.

It spiked a bit while I was by myself, and I took a pen that I had in my pocket and bit down on it to have something to concentrate on. ("That's what Injun young'uns do to stop cryin'!" - John Wayne, MD.) Eventually the pain eased and I took it out, but I was a little unsteady and I dropped it on the floor. When the nurse came by, I asked her if she would please pick it up and throw it away so nobody would trip on it - it was one of those fairly thick-bodied round pens with the rubber coating on the outside.

Pens of course are always in short supply in the ER and she said, "Oh, I'll keep it, it's a nice one!" I said, "I've been biting on it to distract myself, ma'am, you don't want it." She looked at it and her eyes got really big: I had bitten entirely through the body of the pen. She immediately sought out the attending and, while I didn't hear what she said, he was back with me in very short order.

Ten minutes later I was in a scanner, and then various other tests. They never did figure out what was wrong with me and eventually it just went away on its own. But once they realized how bad I was hurting even though to me, it didn't seem like it was hurting that bad, they got really, really excited. Most of you already know this, I have no doubt, but please keep in mind that despite all the people who are "allergic" to everything short of Demerol, or who claim 10/10 pain with no apparent discomfort, once in a while you may meet someone like me.

 

[Elynor]

if you take enough "dilaudid, trazadone, tramadol, seroquel, and percocet for 'missing disc', " "

Whoa... im on a few of those and they knock me out... i cant imagine taking all of them

 

[squareandrare]

I'm not a medical professional in any way, but I have a funny hospital story (from the patient perspective), and I was curious if it happens a lot, or if I gave the nursing staff a big laugh.

Anyway, I was diagnosed with Type-1 diabetes at age 21 (trauma-induced... unless it was just a coincidence that I took a crippling kick to the upper abdomen during a waterpolo game two days before I started showing DKA symptoms).

ER had me diagnosed in 15 minutes... props guys, though I'm not sure how hard it is to diagnose: "I only have the strength to vomit/dry heave 10 times an hour and urinate 7 times an hour... oh, and my urine smells like cotton candy". I was admitted to a hospital, and every day they'd tell me that I'd be leaving soon, but after 8 days (and some particularly attractive nurses taking my blood sugar every couple hours), I was getting a little sexually frustrated. I don't know how long you other males can last, but 8 days was way too long for me at age 21, and I still didn't know when they were actually going to let me go home.

I decided to swallow my pride and wheel my IV/stat monitor into the bathroom to "relieve" myself (btw, I was not happy the IV was in my right arm... thus forcing me to go switch-hitter style, if you get my drift). About 5 minutes later, I hear several people come running into my room and start banging and yelling on my locked bathroom door:

-Nurse 1: Are you ok?
-Me: Yeah, I'm fine.
-Nurse 1: Your blood pressure and heart rate have suddenly spiked! Are you sure that you're ok?
-Me (in a very stern tone): I'm fine. I'll be out in a minute.
-Nurse 2: You need to unlock the door so we can check you.
-Me (in an even more stern tone): I'm fine. GO AWAY.
*Nurse 1 then catches on*
-Nurse 1: Let's just give him a little privacy.

So, yes, masturbating will indeed set off your stat monitor, if you weren't already aware of this quite hilarious fact.

 

[squareandrare]

And just to even things out, I'll give a story of an idiot doctor (though I'd bet this person was not actually a doctor). The day before I was finally discharged, they sent in a "diabetes educator" to tell me about insulin, blood-sugar checking, etc. Well, she apparently thought I was a Type-2. She gave me a "sliding scale" that explicitly said "if your blood sugar is under 150 prior to a meal, do not take insulin." I mean, it's not like getting blood sugar readings of 400+ after meals is bad or anything...

Thank god I saw a competent endocrinologist within 2 days of being discharged who promptly told me to forget everything the diabetes educator had told me.

 

[Stryker One]

I'm not a medical professional in any way, but I have a funny hospital story (from the patient perspective), and I was curious if it happens a lot, or if I gave the nursing staff a big laugh.

Anyway, I was diagnosed with Type-1 diabetes at age 21 (trauma-induced... unless it was just a coincidence that I took a crippling kick to the upper abdomen during a waterpolo game two days before I started showing DKA symptoms).

ER had me diagnosed in 15 minutes... props guys, though I'm not sure how hard it is to diagnose: "I only have the strength to vomit/dry heave 10 times an hour and urinate 7 times an hour... oh, and my urine smells like cotton candy". I was admitted to a hospital, and every day they'd tell me that I'd be leaving soon, but after 8 days (and some particularly attractive nurses taking my blood sugar every couple hours), I was getting a little sexually frustrated. I don't know how long you other males can last, but 8 days was way too long for me at age 21, and I still didn't know when they were actually going to let me go home.

I decided to swallow my pride and wheel my IV/stat monitor into the bathroom to "relieve" myself (btw, I was not happy the IV was in my right arm... thus forcing me to go switch-hitter style, if you get my drift). About 5 minutes later, I hear several people come running into my room and start banging and yelling on my locked bathroom door:

-Nurse 1: Are you ok?
-Me: Yeah, I'm fine.
-Nurse 1: Your blood pressure and heart rate have suddenly spiked! Are you sure that you're ok?
-Me (in a very stern tone): I'm fine. I'll be out in a minute.
-Nurse 2: You need to unlock the door so we can check you.
-Me (in an even more stern tone): I'm fine. GO AWAY.
*Nurse 1 then catches on*
-Nurse 1: Let's just give him a little privacy.

So, yes, masturbating will indeed set off your stat monitor, if you weren't already aware of this quite hilarious fact.

You didn't invite the hot nurse in?!?

 

[squareandrare]

You didn't invite the hot nurse in?!?

I should have told them to keep talking. Just less about my rapidly-rising BP and more about their personal sexual exploits.

Though it seems like a bad idea to sexually harass the people in charge of the meds that are now literally as necessary as water to my continued life.

 

[Tigerz_Fan]

And just to even things out, I'll give a story of an idiot doctor (though I'd bet this person was not actually a doctor). The day before I was finally discharged, they sent in a "diabetes educator" to tell me about insulin, blood-sugar checking, etc. Well, she apparently thought I was a Type-2. She gave me a "sliding scale" that explicitly said "if your blood sugar is under 150 prior to a meal, do not take insulin." I mean, it's not like getting blood sugar readings of 400+ after meals is bad or anything...

Thank god I saw a competent endocrinologist within 2 days of being discharged who promptly told me to forget everything the diabetes educator had told me.

Diabetes educators are not doctors.

 

[FATrain]

I'm a First Aid Instructor/Assessor and I get to hear some wonderful stories - most of which end up as part of future courses as a training aid!

One of my favourites is probably slightly apocryphal: back in the days of the British Empire when we "owned" India, field medics were taught to control bleeding by applying tourniquets between the heart and the wound. So far so good...
Number of deaths from bleeding out went down; number of deaths from strangulation went up. Guess where they were applying the tourniquet for head wounds?!

 

[Kittenmommy]

i know everybody greives differently... but... your brothers penis!??!!

What is this, I don't even

 

[Rykan]

Hey there. I'm not in the medical profession, but I am pursuing a doctorate (in archaeology though!). I just wanted to say how overwhelmed I am by all the things you guys have to go through, and if I ever end up in A&E I'll know how to behave! I can't believe I just spent a week reading the entire thread, after seeing the link on cracked.com. Yikes, I never realized so many people were putting FB up their butts >.>

4. When your husband has just gotten back from Iraq, having been blown up by an IED and suffering > 80% TBSA burns, it is not benefical to wait until he has woken up from his pharmacologically induced coma, been extubated, and come to grips with his injuries to tell him that he's too ugly to deserve her, and that he should never have bothered crawling out of the building that was shelled. Do this when your husband's CSM is visiting to personally present the soldier with a Purple Heart for his injuries, and Silver Star for going back in THREE TIMES to pull out his battle-buddies.

I just had to reply to this. Please tell me she got what was coming to her

 

[da8s0859q]

I can't say "we" since I'm merely a spectator, but the EM folks here on SDN landed on cracked.com? Sweet

 

[Dianyla]

I can't say "we" since I'm merely a spectator, but the EM folks here on SDN landed on cracked.com? Sweet

Oh, so is that why this thread has been suddenly invaded by people who aren't actually healthcare practitioners? Kind of annoying, IMO.

 

[da8s0859q]

Oh, so is that why this thread has been suddenly invaded by people who aren't actually healthcare practitioners? Kind of annoying, IMO.

Seriously? Most of them are stopping by to say hello, thanks, share a story, or something along those lines. Welcome, non-SDNers.

 

[SoCuteMD]

Oh, so is that why this thread has been suddenly invaded by people who aren't actually healthcare practitioners? Kind of annoying, IMO.

Premeds aren't healthcare practitioners either, FYI.

 

[Kittenmommy]

Premeds aren't healthcare practitioners either, FYI.

Oh, snap!

 

[da8s0859q]

Premeds aren't healthcare practitioners either, FYI.

Oh, snap!

 

[Kittenmommy]

Looking in from the outside is even funnier. I've shared stories here and no one has given me that kind of smackdown!

 

[da8s0859q]

Looking in from the outside is even funnier. I've shared stories here and no one has given me that kind of smackdown!

Well, I haven't read your other 160 posts, but I'm pretty sure you didn't post many smack-worthy things.

Being a lowly M1 myself, this thread is kind of a "Hey, guess what we have in store for you?" sort of thing.

 

[Kittenmommy]

Well, I haven't read your other 160 posts, but I'm pretty sure you didn't post many smack-worthy things.

Being a lowly M1 myself, this thread is kind of a "Hey, guess what we have in store for you?" sort of thing.

I'm not a health care worker at all. I found my way here by a post on a snark comm. I'm owned by cats, and I have both cat and human anecdotes to tell.

Some folks might find me smack-worthy, but happily they've been too polite to smack me hard. At least so far.

 

[njac]

Looking in from the outside is even funnier. I've shared stories here and no one has given me that kind of smackdown!

we did get some eye-rolling when we were talking about how great our vets are. So you're not completely innocent...


I still love that vet and call her for stuff even though she's 2000 miles away now.

 

[Kittenmommy]

we did get some eye-rolling when we were talking about how great our vets are. So you're not completely innocent...


I still love that vet and call her for stuff even though she's 2000 miles away now.

Yeah, no one seems to want to hear about vets.

Your vet sounds awesome and I don't blame you for continuing to consult her. Once you find a good doctor/vet, it's hard to let go even if you move away!

 

[Dianyla]

Premeds aren't healthcare practitioners either, FYI.

Which is exactly why I don't post any stories to this thread, although I'm an avid subscriber to it.

 

[Tigerz_Fan]

Yeah, no one seems to want to hear about vets.

Your vet sounds awesome and I don't blame you for continuing to consult her. Once you find a good doctor/vet, it's hard to let go even if you move away!

I would...my vet has some great stories!

 

[Kittenmommy]

I would...my vet has some great stories!

I can imagine!

 

[relay]

I have been an attending for 10 years and I just learned addict CPR. If your boyfriend has had an extra large dose of heroin and has been lying on the floor, unmoving, cyanotic and cold for 3 hours, he can be revived by taking his pants off and kicking him in the junk a few times. Call 911 later, after the stash has run out.

That made me spit tea on to my keyboard..

Anyhoo, I have spent a while reading this thread and come to the conclusion that as I dont take any kind of recreational drugs, excercise regularly, dont eat junk food, and dont drink, if I am ever standing on a street corner minding my own business and "some guy" flicks a cig butt at me I will be dead in seconds...

I would just like to comment that you poor folk are right up against the sharp end a lot of the time, and as has been said many times you cant cure stupid, well you can but its illegal to euthanise folk for having the dumb.

I am a Union Rep in a very large mail centre in the UK, some of my people have some pretty tough daily challenges, some love their illness to the point that they wouldnt know what to do without them, which really bugs me, however the fixed grin and remembering its not a personality issue helps, I have lost it once or twice though, ie "I dont care if you had a bloody hernia op 10 weeks ago, if its giving you trouble you shouldnt be working overtime, and you should have got the occupational health involved" only to be told that occupational health is for c***'s as is re-hab plans, and I am not a doctor, and doctors are also for c***'s I got him banned from overtime for a month due to suspect health issues, dont call your rep names..

I also have to deal with nervous breakdowns, long term sick, newly diagnosed type 2 diabetics who are sick of brown rice, the aggressive deaf who get very very upset if they dont know whats going on, sweethearts with a very low mental age but very strong bodies and no social skills, pregnant women who for some reason never want anyone to know they are pregnant but want sit down jobs, ( I am going to have to tell management when they ask why) industrial accidents that amazingly get better once the payout is done, and dont even get me started on cultural difficulties between workers, and I do this why? because I like to bully men in suits....


Great thread people, I have only had a couple of ER experiences, the usual "kid falls over and faceplants the playground" and "elderly mother breaks hip" and yes she did die within 18 months as they usually do, mainly due to the fact the silly woman wouldnt move about enough, and we all know where that leads.

Props to all you hardworking and endlessly patient folk, I share with you the "mouth open in disbelief" stance once in a while, not judging by this thread not as often!

 

[Kittenmommy]

Gotta love a pre-med acting all offended that people get frustrated by the idiots they have to deal with.

Here's a good story.

If you have a psychiatric disorder don't quit taking you meds and start taking PCP. You will go bat**** crazy, eat the eyeballs out of your five year old child's head, then attempt to amputate your own leg with a hacksaw. Granted, you might avoid jail time for it, but none of you health care providers will like you very much (especially the ones that had to take care of your kid who came in saying "daddy ate my eyes")

OMG, I read about this one on the 'net a couple of months ago. God, that's just... there are no words.

 

[DoctorMedic]

wow, speechless

 

[Tigerz_Fan]

Gotta love a pre-med acting all offended that people get frustrated by the idiots they have to deal with.

Seems like a troll. Only two posts, and both are very inflammatory...

 

[Kittenmommy]

Seems like a troll. Only two posts, and both are very inflammatory...

[YOUTUBE]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oynJcSnLSI4[/YOUTUBE]

 

[Furore23]

After two hours in the queue (with very sudden acute appendicitis), she won't mind if I politely ask her for an update on my expected wait... because, I'm sorry, the pain is pretty bad right now and I think I might be about to lose it. Ten seconds later, Dr Miracle appears and Nurse Wonderful has found me a bed in the oncology ward (actually, I just now twigged what that means - my good luck was someone else's very bad, dammit).
Sure, it was probably my symptoms that got the bump, but I like to think that manners help.

On the other hand, the woman flinging herself dramatically to the floor in the exact mathematical centre of the waiting room? Sure, the thrashing and wailing and swearing and kicking will get an instant response. She'll be sat on by Mr Security and strapped into a gurney to wait her proper turn.

Thank you, medical guys - EM or otherwise, pre-med or attending or whatever you do.

PS. A funny thing one of the surgeons said to me: "Thanks for being so slender - we just touched you with the scalpel and out it popped".

 

[da8s0859q]

Sure, it was probably my symptoms that got the bump, but I like to think that manners help.

PS. A funny thing one of the surgeons said to me: "Thanks for being so slender - we just touched you with the scalpel and out it popped".

They do.

And

 

[relay]

Today in Union representation: woman comes to me and says "the ****** is bieng so rude I want him fired" by "the ******" she means John, who has the mental age of a 10 year old, she is deeply bloody unpleasant, with no compassion, John however is a ray of sunshine most of the time despite his health issues, so I take him to one side and ask him what he said as she wouldnt tell me, his reply "I told her she makes my willy hard" my reply "next time that happens sweetie you keep it to yourself ok, some women dont like that sort of thing"

Then I had to lock myself in the toilet for a good laugh.


He wont get fired by the way..

 

[IT Guy]

I'm a computer guy at a large university hospital who stumbled over this thread and and glad for it. It has really provided insight into how you folks tick and I think will help me with understanding you when I show up to fix your computers.

Part of my responsibilities is making sure that the data from various devices connected to a patient shows up in the computer system. This puts me all over in the various ICU's, the OR, and the ETC.

One evening in the SICU I get called up because not all of the data from the patient monitor wasn't showing up. In the room there's an unconscious patient with a police officer just a few feet away standing guard (and looking bored).

On the patient monitor there's a spot for a note about the patient - which usually says something about the status of the patient like "OD Heroin". This one said "Don't Tase Me Bro!"

The story was that the officer (or an officer I wasn't sure) had tased the patient in the course of breaking up a bar fight downtown. The patient promptly faceplanted on some concrete.


--- Now for a lesson from my youth!

Don't pet the Bengal Tiger, even if the owner of said tiger said it was okay. The tiger will think that your hand is tasty and bite it, right in front of your friend (me).

Also, owner of said tiger (my cousin's uncle) will lose a lawsuit about the tiger thinking you are tasty. An Oregon based group specializing in tigers will have to rescue the tiger.

Proceeds from the tiger lawsuit will make your friend (me) jealous about the free ride through college.

 

[lamp37]

I

On the patient monitor there's a spot for a note about the patient - which usually says something about the status of the patient like "OD Heroin". This one said "Don't Tase Me Bro!"

best comment ever

 

[notinkansas]

when you come to the ER...
please be very, very surprised that the cops and health care professionals don't look like they believe you when you say that the 25lb infant in a large carseat "flew" out the backseat window while you were going "10 miles an hour" has a bruised, partially collapsed lung. really. your shock will cause us to reconsider our opinions. humbly.

ALSO!
when you find out that your brother has drowned, please run into the room praying, then proceed to swear, talk dirty, and fondle his penis... talking about the children you're supposed to have together. furthermore, please also look at everyone else like they're the crazy ones at this point, pointing out to us the extremely agonal PEA on the monitor as "look, he's responding!".

i know everybody greives differently... but... your brothers penis!??!!

p.s. it's also my fault, as the nurse who spent over an hour trying to revive him, that he decided to swim in a dangerous river with a BAC of .382.

Please don't tell me that your brother is the baby daddy.\

Just don't. The paperwork is horrendous.

Could these two incidents be related?

 

[MayhemRose]

This one's about an endocrinologist I visited a few years ago for my hypoglycemia/PCOS issues.

A few words of advice to doctors working with teenagers who have an IQ above 85:

1. When I show up to my appointment at 2:30 pm, do not come bouncing into your own waiting room half an hour late sporting your letterman jacket from highschool and carrying the lattes you nipped out to get because you "needed (your) caffeine fix".

2. Do not attempt to high-five me when I tell you that I've lost 40 pounds since I started my semester at college 2 1/2 months ago.

3. Do not, under ANY circumstances call me ANY of the following:
dude, bro, chica, squirt, monkey, sistah, or boo. f**k that noise, ok?

I'm not your pal. I'm not your girlfriend. I'm not your kid. I'm your patient, no matter how much I wish I wasn't at the moment.

It's called professionalism. Work on that, Keanu.