The Official Anti-Clinical Medicine Thread

[yaah]

I had my own brush with clinical medicine today. Called to do an FNA on a guy who had a sternal chondrogenic osteosarcoma resected 2 years ago, since then had multiple surgeries for mets. Now has another nodule in his scar, clinician wants to rule out residual disease prior to starting chemo. Guy was in tough shape. He had no bones in the center of his chest, it was just skin overlying his heart so you could see it pulsing. Short story: nodule is positive on FNA. Patient and wife both immediately get this look on their face as if the door to their life's future has suddenly been slammed shut in their face. Oncologists walk in to discuss his future, we exit. Poor bastard.

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[b&ierstiefel]

yaah, the one thing I have certainly appreciated in pathology is that often, we are the bearer of bad news. emotionally, it is a relief that we're not the ones to deliver the bad news to patients and their families.

 

[beary]

I am working nights on labor and delivery. Somebody please help me.

 

[mysophobe]

Insert gun into mouth, pull trigger.

 

[DW]

One of my favorite lines that surgery residents give is when they give you some completely uneducational scut is "You have to pay your dues". One day I'm going to bring my student accounting bill and say "Here it is, 50K paid in full you douchebag"

Oooh, really, can I write that 10th discharge summary of the afternoon? Can I write some more completely useless notes that don't mean anything until the pt gets their cat scan and biopsy? Really, I can change the dressing of that fat ass with the enterocutaenous fistula who is supposed to NPO but is leaking **** out of his abdomen? What an honor!!!

I may be joining you Path people...not only is it a great field, but seems like a cool crowd of people

 

[yaah]

Excellent.

We need more manwhores in pathology.

 

[beary]

One of my favorite lines that surgery residents give is when they give you some completely uneducational scut is "You have to pay your dues". One day I'm going to bring my student accounting bill and say "Here it is, 50K paid in full you douchebag"

I had the ULTIMATE scut the other day. I was handed a bag of platelets and had to rock it in my hand for two hours to make sure it didn't clump.

 

[yaah]

I had the ULTIMATE scut the other day. I was handed a bag of platelets and had to rock it in my hand for two hours to make sure it didn't clump.

On my surgery rotation I was sent down to the ER at 11pm to apply pressure to a guy's arm. He was a dialysis patient and got stuck for bloodwork, and then they discovered his INR was 9, and he wouldn't stop bleeding. So I had to hold pressure until the FFP thawed, which took 2 hours because some ***** forgot to order it right away. Even after two hours of pressure it was still shooting blood with every heart beat if my hand wasn't there. And after the FFP started it took another 20 minutes for it to stop.

 

[DW]

I had the ULTIMATE scut the other day. I was handed a bag of platelets and had to rock it in my hand for two hours to make sure it didn't clump.

Wow, that is one of the lamest things i've ever heard. aren't you glad you're developing these skills that will last you throughout your career as a doctor?

 

[djmd]

I had the ULTIMATE scut the other day. I was handed a bag of platelets and had to rock it in my hand for two hours to make sure it didn't clump.

Not to ask a rediculious question but was something wrong with the agitator?


Thank go you are going into Pathology, where we don't have anything to do with bags of platelets.... wait what is this transfussion medicine thing?? OH NO!

 

[beary]

Not to ask a rediculious question but was something wrong with the agitator?


Thank go you are going into Pathology, where we don't have anything to do with bags of platelets.... wait what is this transfussion medicine thing?? OH NO!

No, this was an ob/gyn thing. We had a pt with HELLP and there wasn't an agitator around.

 

[deschutes]

Have I said before how much I hate reading paper charts?

 

[DW]

The worst are the old fuddy duddy medicine attendings who have HORRENDOUS handwriting who refuse to use the modern electronic charting that our hospital spent millions using GE consulting to develop. I've definitely had moments on rounds where its been like "Yeah, pulmonary came by and suggested something, but apparently whoever wrote the note must have an intention tremor and I couldn't read it"

 

[b&ierstiefel]

OK so deschutes is throwing a hissy fit cuz I didn't wanna post this picture. I'm telling her how I'm posting less on this site because the "Eyes in the Sky" are watching.

Well fine deschutes. You get your wish. Here's the damn pic, silly person.

I chuckled when I saw this flowsheet. Brings me back to the days of med school when I was actually trying to decide what field I would go into (actually the biggest question for me was whether I should even do a residency vs. straight postdoc).

 

[yaah]

I like that. Particularly the "crazy" = ER and "Mean" = surgery.

 

[Brian Pavlovitz]

Wow, that is one of the lamest things i've ever heard. aren't you glad you're developing these skills that will last you throughout your career as a doctor?

WTF???!!!

Happily, my clinical days are now OVER!!!! I can now set my sights firmly on Path (that is, until I take Step 3... ).

 

[DW]

I just finished a 36 hour peds call. Yes, we have 36 hour calls for peds, because this will help us "follow the natural course of an illness"". The best part is that there are 3 different attendings during the week along with several different night attendings. So i get to repeat the history of "40 day old with fever, rule out sepsis, vital signs were this, labs were that, he got ceftriaxone even though he's not growing anything" while getting pimped on some stupid part of the peds exam that no one has formally taught us yet. Peds has set the record for the fastest its taken me to declare my hatred of a given rotation.

5 more weeks of runny noses and lunatic parents to go. i don't think i can make it.

 

[fomites]

I'm invading the Path threads.

why are you such haters on clinical medicine!!! so much hate! keep on though, it's funny as sheeeet

 

[DropkickMurphy]

OK so deschutes is throwing a hissy fit cuz I didn't wanna post this picture. I'm telling her how I'm posting less on this site because the "Eyes in the Sky" are watching.

Well fine deschutes. You get your wish. Here's the damn pic, silly person.

I chuckled when I saw this flowsheet. Brings me back to the days of med school when I was actually trying to decide what field I would go into (actually the biggest question for me was whether I should even do a residency vs. straight postdoc).

That's going to be the new background on my laptop.

 

[DropkickMurphy]

Peds has set the record for the fastest its taken me to declare my hatred of a given rotation.

I haven't even applied to med school and I already know OB/GYN has taken that title for me

 

[yaah]

I'm invading the Path threads.

why are you such haters on clinical medicine!!! so much hate! keep on though, it's funny as sheeeet

It's not hate. It's higher intelligence.

 

[fomites]

It's not hate. It's higher intelligence.

I know that pathologists are smart. would rate them as the top of the food chain intellectually.