taking a leave of absence to get married?

[18nawhs]

Hi,
I am contemplating this idea to take a leave of absence for a year to get married. I think this would be the best course of action for my situation, although I realize that many do not need a whole year.

1. What are your opinions?
2. Has anyone done this, and what were the results?
3. If I were to do this, when would be the best time to do it?
4. How would residencies view this (because I do want to end up back in California)?

I will be starting school this fall. I'm thinking in between second and third year is the best time, but I don't know much. Thanks for all your advice and input.

---

Members don't see this ad.

 

[criminallyinane]

No offense, but I think it would be foolish to do this. If you need a year off to get married, what do you need to have kids? You need to show that you can balance work and family life, and taking an entire year to get married is just unrealistic.

 

[jennie 21]

I agree with Criminallyinane (great handle, btw!). You don't need to take a whole year off just to get married. I got married the summer between M1 and M2, about 2 weeks after finishing my first-year finals, and it was fine. It was a bit stressful but I can't imagine taking a whole year off just to plan a wedding and get married, and put myself a year behind schedule. I just don't see any reason to do that. Get married at the end of the summer after MS1, and take the summer off instead of doing research or something. That'll leave you with plenty of time to finish your last-minute planning and take care of details, plus have time for a honeymoon. The only thing I would have maybe done differently, if I were to do it over, would be to get married mid-July instead of late June. Trying to study for and pass my neuroanatomy finals while also dealing with nailing down last-minute details, dress fittings, etc. for the wedding which was just two weeks away was a bit stressful. If I'd had a month in between, though, it would have been completely fine. As it was, it still turned out beautifully and I was very happy with the way things worked out. I just don't think you need to take a year of school just to plan a wedding. Me and plenty of my female classmates have managed to plan a wedding while in school, and both our grades and our weddings turned out just fine!

 

[brotherbloat]

I got married one week after the MCAT. That was kinda stressful, plus I was taking organic chemistry that summer too. We took a two-week wedding/honeymoon period off, and it worked out well.

-BB

 

[18nawhs]

Thanks for your inputs guys. I wanted to maybe explain my situation a little more, but I'm not sure it will change your opinions. I will start med school this fall, but have recently started seeing someone. We will be about 2,500 miles apart, going to different schools. We've decided to give it a try and make it work to the best of our abilities, because we definitely do see long term potential (the only bump being the distance). The reason I want to take a year off is not to plan my wedding (I too think that is ridiculous), but so that I can spend that time building our relationship more firmly, because, after all, you can only get so close with someone when they're so far away. I don't think getting married after dating for like 6 months and doing long-distance for a year or so is a wise idea. I know there are risks involved and that this is a tricky situation, but I think many relationships involve great obstacles and risks. I guess I'm a dreamer, and maybe that's why I'm here, to get some level-headed advice from people who know more about this stuff than me. I think if we were to wait after I finished school that would be getting kind of late for us. I don't know. I'm just trying to wrack my brain to figure out a way to make this work out and considering all the possible options.

 

[alison_in_oh]

The reason I want to take a year off is not to plan my wedding (I too think that is ridiculous), but so that I can spend that time building our relationship more firmly, because, after all, you can only get so close with someone when they're so far away. I don't think getting married after dating for like 6 months and doing long-distance for a year or so is a wise idea.

But neither is getting married after a one-year artificial courtship. Do you really think you can fit romance and getting to know someone intimately enough to want to share your life with them into a forced timespan of 12 months?

It's a really tough situation you find yourself in, no doubt. I suggest taking it slow, visiting as often as possible, hopefully spending your breaks and summers off of school with each other, and see where your path leads. If this is really forever, it's worth taking some time over.

This October, one of my best friends from college is marrying a woman that he met in Australia; they fell hard for each other but soon had to return to their homes in separate states in the US, 1600 miles apart. She was starting law school, he was starting his education degree; they couldn't change those plans just for a budding romance. They made it work long-distance for two years, seeing each other as often as they could, and this fall I have every faith that the union they form is going to be a long-lasting one.

If your partnership with your girlfriend is meant to be, you've got a lifetime to make it stick.