Hey everyone I am new to the board but I was hoping someone would have some sort of advice.
I am really struggling in my third year of vet medicine. I've always been prone to depression and have had social anxiety for as long as I can remember. Last semester has been the worst few months of my life to date. I know third year is tough, I know vet university is tough but this last year has felt a constant uphill struggle in which the boulder is slowly crushing me. I get pretty okay grades, I do way better when not feeling so anxious and over whelmed.
The thing is that this semester is the first year I have done almost none of my exams at christmas time. Our university uses an oral exam system for the most part and I just can't face doing it anymore. Going to my lectures is hard enough, the panic I feel when sitting in the hall makes me want to vomit. After 8 hours of near panic on bad days and just mild anxiety on good days I am completely knackered when I get in. I force myself to do a couple of hours study so I can attempt to relax in the evenings. the result is I am shattered going to bed, I sleep poorly and start the whole cycle the next day. I was so tired come the exam period I had no will to fight through the anxiety of the oral exams. I was so panicked over not knowing enough that I couldn't even make a decision on what to study for first. In the end I decided to take the couple of weeks off and hope I'd recharge a bit but I am halfway through my second week back and I just want to leave.
I am so tired of veterinary medicine. I am tired of being tired, tired of having that voice in the back of my head telling me I am doing this to earn peanuts doing a job that will leave me with no social life. I really don't know what I am making myself keep doing this for. I have zero motivation and with my social anxiety being what it is I know being a general practitioner isn't for me. I am lonely, miserable, stressed and oh so very tired. I have no idea what to do and feel like a complete failure that I can't just pick myself up, glue everything back together and keep going forward. The thought of attending class makes me want to scream and weep. I have no support system here, my partner lives in another country, I have no friends and I really think at this stage I am just beaten. I feel so done, is there any way to come back from this? Is it really possible to turn around and suddenly find a love for what I am doing again? Or am I better off just calling it quits now and looking into doing something else with my life? I always thought lab work might suit me better.
I am really struggling in my third year of vet medicine. I've always been prone to depression and have had social anxiety for as long as I can remember. Last semester has been the worst few months of my life to date. I know third year is tough, I know vet university is tough but this last year has felt a constant uphill struggle in which the boulder is slowly crushing me. I get pretty okay grades, I do way better when not feeling so anxious and over whelmed.
The thing is that this semester is the first year I have done almost none of my exams at christmas time. Our university uses an oral exam system for the most part and I just can't face doing it anymore. Going to my lectures is hard enough, the panic I feel when sitting in the hall makes me want to vomit. After 8 hours of near panic on bad days and just mild anxiety on good days I am completely knackered when I get in. I force myself to do a couple of hours study so I can attempt to relax in the evenings. the result is I am shattered going to bed, I sleep poorly and start the whole cycle the next day. I was so tired come the exam period I had no will to fight through the anxiety of the oral exams. I was so panicked over not knowing enough that I couldn't even make a decision on what to study for first. In the end I decided to take the couple of weeks off and hope I'd recharge a bit but I am halfway through my second week back and I just want to leave.
I am so tired of veterinary medicine. I am tired of being tired, tired of having that voice in the back of my head telling me I am doing this to earn peanuts doing a job that will leave me with no social life. I really don't know what I am making myself keep doing this for. I have zero motivation and with my social anxiety being what it is I know being a general practitioner isn't for me. I am lonely, miserable, stressed and oh so very tired. I have no idea what to do and feel like a complete failure that I can't just pick myself up, glue everything back together and keep going forward. The thought of attending class makes me want to scream and weep. I have no support system here, my partner lives in another country, I have no friends and I really think at this stage I am just beaten. I feel so done, is there any way to come back from this? Is it really possible to turn around and suddenly find a love for what I am doing again? Or am I better off just calling it quits now and looking into doing something else with my life? I always thought lab work might suit me better.