Sex and intimacy

[Christianwife22]

Not sure if this is the right place to post but maybe someone can help me who has some medical background

Truly embarrised so please bare with me

I am 22 and live in CT and recently married a wonderful man . Were both Christians and proud to say we both waited til marriage . I lost my mom when I was 10 to BC and was raised by my father and he was very strict. I couldn't even look at the word sex if you know what I mean

Now since I am sexually active I have a question about orgasms well a few questions and I am hoping someone can help me

Does a woman have a orgasm from intercourse

What position brings a woman to orgasm

How do you know if you have a orgasm

How long should your partner last ( TMI ) my husband maybe lasts about 3 minutes of penetration

I read that masturbation helps a woman learn her own body which makes having orgasms easier . I know masturbation is a debate but do a lot of woman masturbate even if there married.

I have thought recently about masturbating (again TMI ) but I just can't start . I feel foolish and start laughing . Do woman say " Hey I am going to masturbate now " or does it just happen . I can't see myself saying to myself " Laura go masturbate " . Do woman set up a romantic scene when they masturbate

maybe this is all dumb but I need to talk to someone. I tried our pastor's wife and a nurse at my OB GYN but when it came time to talk I didn't say a word a my face blushed

Thanks for all your help

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[MustafaMond]

 

[calmike2001]

i second that...

 

[Zevidah]

Not sure if this is the right place to post but maybe someone can help me who has some medical background

Truly embarrised so please bare with me

I am 22 and live in CT and recently married a wonderful man . Were both Christians and proud to say we both waited til marriage . I lost my mom when I was 10 to BC and was raised by my father and he was very strict. I couldn't even look at the word sex if you know what I mean

Now since I am sexually active I have a question about orgasms well a few questions and I am hoping someone can help me

Does a woman have a orgasm from intercourse

What position brings a woman to orgasm

How do you know if you have a orgasm

How long should your partner last ( TMI ) my husband maybe lasts about 3 minutes of penetration

I read that masturbation helps a woman learn her own body which makes having orgasms easier . I know masturbation is a debate but do a lot of woman masturbate even if there married.

I have thought recently about masturbating (again TMI ) but I just can't start . I feel foolish and start laughing . Do woman say " Hey I am going to masturbate now " or does it just happen . I can't see myself saying to myself " Laura go masturbate " . Do woman set up a romantic scene when they masturbate

maybe this is all dumb but I need to talk to someone. I tried our pastor's wife and a nurse at my OB GYN but when it came time to talk I didn't say a word a my face blushed

Thanks for all your help

Firstly, ignore the mean and immature people above.

I used to do sex education for a living before med school. Your questions are normal, natural and very good ones to be asking--most people who just begin sexual activity have these same questions. There are many many good resources for you in learning about sexuality and how to enhance both partners' pleasure during sex, some with a Christian emphasis you might like.

The short answers to your questions are that masturbation may help you and your partner in learning your own and each other's needs and desires, and everybody's ways of masturbating are different; experiementation may be what you need. You both sound very normal, few women achieve orgasm by penis-in-vagina sex alone, in any position and the two of you learning to widen your sexual repetoire beyond that act will likely increase both your pleasure greatly.

I'd love to help you; you can email me by clicking on my log-in name and we can talk in a more private email setting, if you'd like.

 

[MustafaMond]

Your questions are normal, natural and very good ones to be asking--.

for a middle schooler.

 

[PACtoDOC]

Some of you guys are complete jerks. As a primary care provider, I have had years of dealing with patients with situations similar to yours. Its commendable that you both decided to wait this long to have sex. Its not for everyone to do this, but to each's own. You need to take charge of your sexuality and REQUIRE that your husband be in it for you and not just himself. 3 minutes is not going to cut it and there are many things you can do to help with this. Consider asking his doctor for a script for viscous lidocaine to rub on him before sex. Let it dry a few minutes before and he will be effectively numbed up enough to go for a long time. As for your orgasms, they will either happen with prolonged intrcourse as described above, or you can try other methods like oral from your husband. I would recommend going to Brookstone in the mall and buying the small "pen" shaped massager and using it on yourself, in your husbands presence. Let this turn him on, and allow yourself to be turned on by his excitement watching you. A good vibrating device should assist your problem so that you can learn to simply "have" an orgasm, and then you can learn other ways to have them. It is not very common for women to have vaginal orgasms from intercourse unless they are in exactly the right position. More commonly this position is woman on top with the male simply a bystander to the women's pelvic rocking front and backward (not up and downward). You guys should try more foreplay as well, so don't simply allow him to get on you before you are warmed up. Another cool suggestion is that if your husband can get his hands on some Viagra, it will allow him to maintain his erection even after he has his orgasm, and prior to this he simply needs to agree to continue for some time. You guys are going to do fine. Shoot me an email if you have further questions. Good luck, and ignore the infidels.

 

[deeq]

I would just like to reply to those of you who are demeaning and dismissing this woman's query. As a physician you should be prepared to answer such questions, ESPECIALLY if you are going into Ob/Gyn. As I have read many posts/threads on this forum, I get a sense that many of you are. Physicians do not simply treat disease processes, they treat the whole person, and this includes psychological, spiritual AND sexual issues. We are all at different levels of sexuality. You may never have all the answers but you should have an open mind for sexual problems and be ready to do a bit of sleuthing or, at the very least, some referring for your patients. Act and present yourselves with a bit more maturity please. This is all I have to say on that.
As to the curious new wife, I wish you all the best and do hope that you are getting your questions answered. I can tell you that the more open and honest you are with your husband in this quest, then hopefully the greater will be your rewards. The two of you should have a wonderful journey if you go it together. All the best.

 

[deeq]

I only have one more thing to say on this issue. This woman writing in is not from the medical profession. And this is how you portray the nation's future physician & Ob/Gyn pool? Nice job guys. Way to strengthen that patient-doctor bond...

 

[VentdependenT]

HAHAH!

You'll have too look at the penetration time to ejaculation graph which is standard in every OBGYN text. Special section for Christians too!

 

[MustafaMond]

Some of you guys are complete jerks. As a primary care provider, I have had years of dealing with patients with situations similar to yours.

Consider asking his doctor for a script for viscous lidocaine to rub on him before sex. Let it dry a few minutes before and he will be effectively numbed up enough to go for a long time. As for your orgasms, they will either happen with prolonged intrcourse as described above, or you can try other methods like oral from your husband. I would recommend going to Brookstone in the mall and buying the small "pen" shaped massager and using it on yourself, in your husbands presence. Let this turn him on, and allow yourself to be turned on by his excitement watching you. A good vibrating device should assist your problem so that you can learn to simply "have" an orgasm, and then you can learn other ways to have them. It is not very common for women to have vaginal orgasms from intercourse unless they are in exactly the right position. More commonly this position is woman on top with the male simply a bystander to the women's pelvic rocking front and backward (not up and downward). You guys should try more foreplay as well, so don't simply allow him to get on you before you are warmed up. Another cool suggestion is that if your husband can get his hands on some Viagra, it will allow him to maintain his erection even after he has his orgasm, and prior to this he simply needs to agree to continue for some time. You guys are going to do fine. .

Good advice PAC2Doc...especially the viscous lidocaine....though it might be nice to tell her to make him use a condom, so she doesnt numb her own genitalia, making it impossible to come.

I was just wondering whether or not you realize that the OP is completely pulling your leg.

Anyway, great sex advice all the same...I'll make sure and use it myself.

 

[Neuron]

Not sure if this is the right place to post

It's not.

 

[vanelo]

Does a woman have a orgasm from intercourse

OF COURSE!!! But great part depends on your p

What position brings a woman to orgasm

Depends on you. Try a few, see which omne you like

How do you know if you have a orgasm

Believe me, YOU WILL!!!

I read that masturbation helps a woman learn her own body which makes having orgasms easier . I know masturbation is a debate but do a lot of woman masturbate even if there married.

Many womwn, even married ones masturbate. Dont be ashamed, it is completely normal.

I have thought recently about masturbating (again TMI ) but I just can't start . I feel foolish and start laughing . Do woman say " Hey I am going to masturbate now " or does it just happen . I can't see myself saying to myself " Laura go masturbate " . Do woman set up a romantic scene when they masturbate

I use porn.

 

[ayndim]

Not sure if this is the right place to post but maybe someone can help me who has some medical background

Truly embarrised so please bare with me

I am 22 and live in CT and recently married a wonderful man . Were both Christians and proud to say we both waited til marriage . I lost my mom when I was 10 to BC and was raised by my father and he was very strict. I couldn't even look at the word sex if you know what I mean

Now since I am sexually active I have a question about orgasms well a few questions and I am hoping someone can help me

Does a woman have a orgasm from intercourse

What position brings a woman to orgasm

How do you know if you have a orgasm

How long should your partner last ( TMI ) my husband maybe lasts about 3 minutes of penetration

I read that masturbation helps a woman learn her own body which makes having orgasms easier . I know masturbation is a debate but do a lot of woman masturbate even if there married.

I have thought recently about masturbating (again TMI ) but I just can't start . I feel foolish and start laughing . Do woman say " Hey I am going to masturbate now " or does it just happen . I can't see myself saying to myself " Laura go masturbate " . Do woman set up a romantic scene when they masturbate

maybe this is all dumb but I need to talk to someone. I tried our pastor's wife and a nurse at my OB GYN but when it came time to talk I didn't say a word a my face blushed

Thanks for all your help

You guys are jerks. Until you know a poster is pulling your leg for sure either don't respond or answer the questions.

To the OP

Does a woman have a orgasm from intercourse

Some women do others will never and need some manual stimulation

What position brings a woman to orgasm

Depends on the woman. But doggy style and woman on top allows your spouse greater access for manual stimulation

How do you know if you have a orgasm

That you will know.

How long should your partner last ( TMI ) my husband maybe lasts about 3 minutes of penetration

Since this is new for both of you it will probably take some time for him to gain staying power.

I read that masturbation helps a woman learn her own body which makes having orgasms easier . I know masturbation is a debate but do a lot of woman masturbate even if there married.

Oh yeah. Every night if I can.

I have thought recently about masturbating (again TMI ) but I just can't start . I feel foolish and start laughing . Do woman say " Hey I am going to masturbate now " or does it just happen . I can't see myself saying to myself " Laura go masturbate " . Do woman set up a romantic scene when they masturbate

PM me for this one. I got a great technique from Cosmo but I doubt the yahoos on this board could handle it.

 

[MustafaMond]

I know masturbation is a debate but do a lot of woman masturbate even if there married?

Oh yeah. Every night if I can.

Its funny that you guys think she is for real, and in response to a "zero posts " poster, you give all sorts of personal advice about doggy-style, vibrators, and how many times you masturbate..

LOL!!!!!

 

[ayndim]

Its funny that you guys think she is for real, and in response to a "zero posts " poster, you give all sorts of personal advice about doggy-style, vibrators, and how many times you masturbate..

LOL!!!!!

Sexually problems are a real problem for women. Little is done on research, we don't have viagra or a magic orgasm pill. And for all the times a woman has said "It doesn't matter that I didn't O honey. It is the intimacy I am after." Well that is BS. We like orgasms. They relieve stress for us too and darn it they feel good. And most men will try to get by with as little foreplay as possible. After all 9.9 times out of 10, you get your O. The OP and all women who cannot orgasm vaginally should DEMAND that their partner take care of them FIRST. I am not embarrased by the fact I masturbate regularly or the fact that I know which positions will allow my husband to get me off. I am proud and will share my knowledge with any woman who wants to know.

 

[drlisa0318]

Whether the OP is for real or not is immaterial. In this case, these are all legitimate questions. And contrary to what some of you have inferred, there are a LOT of women out there who do NOT know the answers to these questions and who very much want and need to know. Someone said in a sarcastic manner that they were legitimate questions...for a middle schooler, implying that anyone older than that will know the answers, so therefore the OP is a troll. Many people, whether by choice or lack of opportunity, wait until marriage to have sex. The level of a person's sexual activity has no bearing on that person's KNOWLEDGE of sex. Even in today's sexually permissive society, many people are being raised with an almost Victorian attitude towards sex - even in the context of marriage. Even those who WANT to embrace sexual pleasures once they are married, can have a difficult time, even in an anonymous setting like the internet, READING about it, let alone actually ASKING questions about it. I am disappointed in some of the responses here, especially considering this is the Ob/Gyn forum, for at best some of the responses were sophomoric and at worst, some were to the point of being misogynistic.

 

[tkim]

Whether the OP is for real or not is immaterial. In this case, these are all legitimate questions.

Agreed. This is not the Lounge. Troll or not, answer the question, or not. But no more negative comments.

 

[delchrys]

to the original poster: the immature reactions from so many of the posters here are (1) precisely why i have an issue with male OB/GYNs--enough of them are arrogant, immature, sexist children to mislead women who need guidance from people who hold themselves out as experts in this field.

your best bet for a first round of information checking would be to check www.google.com by typing in the search terms "female sexual dysfunction". this will give you a broad understanding of the problems faced by many women and how common the problems are.

many women never achieve orgasm. in most cases, from what i can tell (i'm not a doctor!) it comes from a lack of familiarity with one's own body and from the stigma some women attach to sex, their genitalia, their own pleasure (i.e, that it is healthy and good for a woman to masturbate and fantasize), and general exploration of their sexuality. Nancy Friday has a series of books out that are about women's sexual fantasies--these first-hand accounts of fantasies can give you a pretty good idea what goes through the head of many, many women as they bring themselves to pleasurable states either with their lover or by themselves.

if you are interested in discusing this further, you may contact me via email at [email protected]

 

[MustafaMond]

I'm sorry if I sounded cruel.
The fact is that the OP is a troll.

I wonder if she has emailed anyone. I'll bet not.

Anyway...I agree tkim, this is not the Lounge...its about 25 times lamer in here.
Later.

 

[meanOBmachine]

I got a solution for you....
Have your best friend over for dinner and after that, you two can indulge in some hot lesbo action with your husband watching. Then he'll know how to please a lady.

No seriously, only women know how to please their own species....we man need some tutoring aka hot lesbo action.

 

[MustafaMond]

I got a solution for you....
Have your best friend over for dinner and after that, you two can indulge in some hot lesbo action with your husband watching. Then he'll know how to please a lady.

No seriously, only women know how to please their own species....we man need some tutoring aka hot lesbo action.

That's about as serious as the OP.

Can any of you seriously address this man?
Lesbo action is an important issue....troll or not.

 

[PACtoDOC]

to the original poster: the immature reactions from so many of the posters here are (1) precisely why i have an issue with male OB/GYNs--enough of them are arrogant, immature, sexist children to mislead women who need guidance from people who hold themselves out as experts in this field.

your best bet for a first round of information checking would be to check www.google.com by typing in the search terms "female sexual dysfunction". this will give you a broad understanding of the problems faced by many women and how common the problems are.

many women never achieve orgasm. in most cases, from what i can tell (i'm not a doctor!) it comes from a lack of familiarity with one's own body and from the stigma some women attach to sex, their genitalia, their own pleasure (i.e, that it is healthy and good for a woman to masturbate and fantasize), and general exploration of their sexuality. Nancy Friday has a series of books out that are about women's sexual fantasies--these first-hand accounts of fantasies can give you a pretty good idea what goes through the head of many, many women as they bring themselves to pleasurable states either with their lover or by themselves.

if you are interested in discusing this further, you may contact me via email at [email protected]

I think you need to get on some Lexapro and get over your male OBGYN issue. You did not notice I suppose that a male OBGYN-to be gave some rather good advice at the beginning of this thread. You are just always looking for a place to vent about male OBGYN's. You may just need to invest in some therapy, or just realize that you cannot lump every male OBGYN into your little box labeled "sexists". Trust me when I tell you that good male OBGYN's do equally well as their female counterparts because MANY women still want to see a man, and have a man doing their surgery. Thats just the way it is, so hopefully I have just saved you several thousand dollars in psychotherapy.