Screwed up my life. Can I ever be a doctor?

[TriagePreMed]

Snip

Can't believe this forum will let this fly. The guy has depression. Clearly it won't be solved by someone telling him to stop. What do you think will be his reaction when he reads this? "omg, i didn't know i could stop. thanks guy. you cured me!"

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[DeterminedDoc]

Don't finish your current program. Switch at the end of this semester and change your classes. Stay in undergrad a few more years. You may need to take a loan - welcome to the club - but it is an investment.

Make sure you can take all the med school pre-reqs (as a minor or whatever).
It usually doesn't matter what your program is. Adm. committees want a broad variety of matriculants. And for crissake, get some documentable life experience.
Stop thinking about "what ifs" and fantasising about some goddamn magical wand. In reality only hard work, self-denial, abstinence from recreational drugs will guide you to success.

Re-read Socalpremedguy's post date Dec. 11. Nobody here can erase your past, do the work for you, pull you out of your through or save you from youself. Whining will not help. Ask yourself: "Do I want to be a doctor?" and "am I willing to get better and do all the hard work?" Get the book I suggested. It is based on CBT and will teach you to put a damper on your negative emotions. Ruminating the negative, feeling sorry for yourself and whining will only make your condition worse. By indulging (yes, indulging) in self-pitty and sadness, you are forming neural pathways which will eventually become hard-wired into your brain, condemning you to a lifetime of mediocrity. Get some professional help. Until you "change your your brain", you will never be cut-out to be a physician and will not be able to move on.
I hope I made myself clear enough.

As much as I would love to just "dampen" my negative neural pathways, the fact is that I have failed classes and have done so poorly this semester in addition to every other one. Not because of an illness or anything, because I continue to be the same idiot who never learns from the past and just keep beating myself up over it. Its an addiction that is poisoning and I don't know how to stop it. I am getting professional help but its not like my counselor is a med school adcom who can help me with this. Even if I do "feel better" at this point my prospect of being a doctor is bleak anyway.

Many people have told you that the DO path could very well be the path for you.

Its pretty much the only path at this point so saying that "it could very well be the path for me" - implying that I actually have a choice at this point - is just patronizing.

Either DO's or MD's can help the same patient equally effectively.

Most of the people who say that the whole MD/DO thing doesn't matter are usually MDs or MD students. Coming from them, its actually pretty meaningless. Its like me having a BMW and saying its the same as your Honda. Sure they may do the same exact thing, but one has inherently more value and worth than the other so they aren't "exactly" the same, even if I (as the BMW owner) tell you it is. However, Im not saying that DO is inferior at all - like I said people could have a million rational reasons for choosing DO or MD in their lives and I don't really care. Im sure there are some great DOs who would be way better doctors than I ever could even if the apocalypse happened and I somehow got into an MD school.

Most of the doctors that I have met and have been inspired by are MDs, most of the doctors who I have worked with, most med students I've met, have all been MDs. Since I go to school in Canada, all the doctors here are MDs since the DO degree is non-existent outside the States.

What reason do I have to go DO? Have I met an inspirational DO? Do I have a family to think about? Preference of OMT to Allo? Nope. I wanted to be a doctor like some people I met in my life who inspired me. I was then an idiot and failed. Now I'm just too much of a failure to apply MD. I also have family and cultural pressure to deal with since Im south asian and I know that my family has an inherent bias towards DOs since all the south asian docs i know are MDs.

Its not about applying DO or not - that isn't the issue here. Its the fact that I've destroyed my chances for MD and have limited my options for my career because Im a failure and made stupid choices like a ******. Its just sucks to know THAT is the reason why I can't get into MD schools anymore. At least if I had a legit reason (getting inspired by a DO, family, really liking a particular DO school, etc, etc,) then I wouldn't be so bummed out.

The truth is, I originally wanted to try for MD. I thought DO would be like a "back door option". Now I'm not even sure if ill get in through the back door anymore and thats just really really sad.

 

[shaggybill]

I feel like a complete failure and idiot especially when I see my friends around me. I hate myself for screwing up hard this much.

I feel like a complete failure. I can't believe that after 3 years of repeatedly screwing myself I haven't learned a thing.

its hard to keep going when I keep screwing myself again and again for 3 f*cking years. Im just having a difficult time trying to accept myself as a failure.

Ive screwed up three years of school and am failing classes this semester.

But I think at this point its pretty clear that MD isn't going to happen so I will learn to accept it just as another one of my several screw ups in life and continue on

Whatever, I'm used failure that its all I will learn to expect in my life from now on. Just like all my goals in life, I will have to accept the fact that I'm just too stupid to be an MD.

But beggars and failures can never be choosers so I have to bite the bullet and learn to accept my own failure since that is who I am

I just want to make sure that I did a good job failing. Thats at least something I can still do, if I still have any MD options open let me know so that I can screw that up too and feel good about myself.

However, im never that lucky and am done expecting good things to happen in my life. DO it will be I guess.

ive just accepted that everything is going to be screwed up here on out anyway so its not like I need to panic anymore

However the only reason why im applying DO is because I just plain suck too much to be an MD anymore.

if there is one thing ive learned this semester its that once youve learned to accept the fact that you just suck, its easier on you when you inevitably fai

However, its pretty evident that at this point, its pretty much hopeless.

Whats the next level after this so that I can at least prepare myself? Caribbean? Nursing? Paramedic? McDs?

If anyone wants to shoot me in the face to put me out of my misery, please go for it, I don't even care anymore, f*ck life.

Im just a f*cking idiot.

I am a true failure and I will never forgive myself for destroying my chances for MD schools

I continue to be the same idiot who never learns from the past and just keep beating myself up over it

One thing is for certain. Before you decide what you want to do for the rest of your life, you need to get a handle on this depression. You screwed up. Big deal. I screwed up too, but I did what I had to do, and that was to take classes full time for four years to repair my grades while having to work 30-40 hours a week to support myself.

The bottom line is that there are consequences to your actions, just like there were consequences to mine. The only thing you can do is pick yourself up, admit your failures, find new motivation, make a game-plan, and work towards your goal. Nobody is going to do this for you, and nobody is going to give you a free pass. It's going to be harder for you than it is the 18 y/o who just started college, just like it was harder for me to go back to school at 26 to fix my past. The fact is, it can be done. Sadly, if you want an MD, you're probably going to have to go Caribbean. I wouldn't suggest that for a number of reasons, but it is an option. If you just want to be a doctor, then you're gonna have to make some major changes in your life and go for DO. Sorry to say it, but that's just the way it is.

 

[Kadava Reviva]

Can't believe this forum will let this fly. The guy has depression. Clearly it won't be solved by someone telling him to stop. What do you think will be his reaction when he reads this? "omg, i didn't know i could stop. thanks guy. you cured me!"

Dear Obvious Layperson:
Maybe you should read my previous posts on this tread before you pass judgement on this one.
The first step in behaviour modification is to realise your emotions are not in charge. You are. I have personally suffered from depression and I can tell he/she keeps letting his emotions take over. Depression is a mood disorder. The patient is still in touch with reality and is able to make efforts to change. CBT at this point can help. Wallowing in his/her negativity is sucking the little bit of energy he/she has left and will not help. He/she has to help him/herself. Self-pitty is a hindrance at best. Wait until you do Psych. clerkship a you will see the destruction self-pitty brings in depressives.

You will notice I repeatedly suggested he/she gets medical/psychological attention. Some people, especially males, need a strong nudge before they start taking charge of their emotional health.
Nobody will help DeterminedDoc by feeling sorry for him/her and not suggesting a proper course of action.

I basically suggested what worked for me, which eventually got me accepted in med school (in Canada).

At least I am trying to help DeterminedDoc. You?
If you have something better than comiserating and enabling, let's hear it.

 

[Kadava Reviva]

As much as I would love to just "dampen" my negative neural pathways, the fact is that I have failed classes and have done so poorly this semester in addition to every other one. Not because of an illness or anything, because I continue to be the same idiot who never learns from the past and just keep beating myself up over it. Its an addiction that is poisoning and I don't know how to stop it. I am getting professional help but its not like my counselor is a med school adcom who can help me with this. Even if I do "feel better" at this point my prospect of being a doctor is bleak anyway.
.

Go to student health TODAY and get help. If you can't get out of this way of thinking, you will really mess-up your life. Don't be ashamed. Go do it. You will not regret it.

 

[TriagePreMed]

Layperson? Please. I've worked in mental health and have a psychology degree, so I'm well versed on the topic.

It's pretty sad you try to justify your sad actions the way you do. You're an a-hole. Plain and simple. Nobody gets helped by saying "stop whining." If you were really interested in helping him, you would have spoken to him calmly and rationally. You didn't because you're an a-hole.

Dear Obvious Layperson:
Maybe you should read my previous posts on this tread before you pass judgement on this one.
The first step in behaviour modification is to realise your emotions are not in charge. You are. I have personally suffered from depression and I can tell he/she keeps letting his emotions take over. Depression is a mood disorder. The patient is still in touch with reality and is able to make efforts to change. CBT at this point can help. Wallowing in his/her negativity is sucking the little bit of energy he/she has left and will not help. He/she has to help him/herself. Self-pitty is a hindrance at best. Wait until you do Psych. clerkship a you will see the destruction self-pitty brings in depressives.

You will notice I repeatedly suggested he/she gets medical/psychological attention. Some people, especially males, need a strong nudge before they start taking charge of their emotional health.
Nobody will help DeterminedDoc by feeling sorry for him/her and not suggesting a proper course of action.

I basically suggested what worked for me, which eventually got me accepted in med school (in Canada).

At least I am trying to help DeterminedDoc. You?
If you have something better than comiserating and enabling, let's hear it.

 

[blue0rchid]

people, I suggest we stop fueling OP's obsession with his screw-ups. I feel that we've given him all the advice that he needs to start over. If OP chooses to wallow and continue complaining without taking any action or advice, the only thing we can do is telling him to see a psychiatrist. Enabling won't help.

OP, re-read this thread again if you are confused on what you need to do. Seek professional help, not just from college counselor. You are either seeking attention, or truly have a depression problem, none of which anyone on this forum should/could help you with.

 

[Kadava Reviva]

Layperson? Please. I've worked in mental health and have a psychology degree, so I'm well versed on the topic.

It's pretty sad you try to justify your sad actions the way you do. You're an a-hole. Plain and simple. Nobody gets

helped by saying "stop whining." If you were really interested in helping him, you would have spoken to him calmly

and rationally. You didn't because you're an a-hole.

First, please tell me what my "sad actions" are.

Second, so, you have a psychology degree! You must be an expert! I can see you already think you are.
I have an honours degree in psychology with a 4.19 (out of 4.33) GPA. Let me tell you that when you finish your

bachelours, honours or otherwise, you don't know squat and are still a layperson. Ask any MD, DO, or licensed

psychologist.
You claim to have worked in mental health. May I ask you in what function and for how long? With a mere B.A., you surely weren't treating or diagnosing anyone. Trying to do any of these would make you dangerous.
I am a licensed family practitioner with ample experience in primary care. What are you?
Thanks for calling me an a-hole. It means you lost the argument and started name calling because you can't handle logic, reason or common sense and became angry, as you refuse to consciously realise you are on the wrong side of the fence. Another sign you are losing your argument is that, while you are reading this, you are going "what-Ever!" Time for a reality check my dear.

Me: 1
You: 0

By the way, did you read my other posts on this tread? I am giving DD sound advise. I cannot, nor am I professionally allowed to diagnose or treat anything over the web but am advising and encouraging DD to go get help. What do you bring to the table beside faulty, ignorant criticism?

Keep feeling sorry for your patients when they indulge in self-pitty (all the while re-enforcing a negative frame of mind and sinking into learned self-helplessness) and keep pittying them while doing nothing, then tell me what great results you get.

Again - You are dangerous.

Useless!

Stay in school and learn a little something. This too is valuable advice, but probably pearls to pigs.

P.S.: You probably didn't noticed, but I have asked you a few questions in this post. I would like you to justify
your opinions instead of just blabbing on. You probably can't. Keep calling me names, I consider them trophies.

 

[TriagePreMed]

I have an honours degree in psychology with a 4.19 (out of 4.33) GPA. Let me tell you that when you finish your bachelours, you don't know squat and are still a layperson.
You claim to have worked in mental health. May I ask you in what function and for how long? With a mere degre, you durely weren't treating or diagnosing anyone.
I am a licensed family practitioner with ample experience in primary care. What are you?
Thanks for calling me an a-hole. It means you lost the argument and started name calling because you can't handle logic, reason or common sense and became angry, as you refuse to realise you are on the wrong side of the fence.

Me -1
You -0

LOL good job with the assumption that I haven't finished my degree, and your Canadian GPA is nowhere impressive.

Trust me, I have worked in mental health. I've worked alongside Clinical Psychologists and Psychiatrist, and my job function did require me to listen to patient stories and advocate on their behalf to the state and federal government.

Go ahead and enjoy your self-made "score board."

At this point I'm done with you. The likelihood that you're a troll heavily outweighs the possibility that you're not.

 

[Kadava Reviva]

LOL good job with the assumption that I haven't finished my degree, and your Canadian GPA is nowhere impressive.

Trust me, I have worked in mental health. I've worked alongside Clinical Psychologists and Psychiatrist, and my job function did require me to listen to patient stories and advocate on their behalf to the state and federal government.

Go ahead and enjoy your self-made "score board."

At this point I'm done with you. The likelihood that you're a troll heavily outweighs the possibility that you're not.

I was actually editing my last post when you posted, but couldn't save it because the site was undergoing maintenance. Please read it.

Also the fact you are trying to undermine my Canadian degree shows more of your ignorance - more insults, more defeat. You can attack my credentials all you want, it still won't change the fact that I was already an MD (Canadian MD - you can make fun of that too) before you joined SDN in 2010 as a premed. Calling me a troll without checking my previous posts here and on other treads again - you get the picture.
You still haven't mentioned how long you worked in mental health and in what capacity.
You said you listened to patients. Let me guess - you asked a generic questionaire and ticked off the boxes after "listening to the patients' " answers, possibly in some institution's admission department?

Where did I mention you didn't finish your degree? You claimed to have a degree in psychology and I never contested it. A bachelours is just a beginner's degree. Did you get advanced degrees? Since you did not mention that, I will assume you didn't. If you change your story, I will become suspicious of any claim you make.
DD needs help from a professional. Just complaining won't cut it. Your lack of understanding and your arguing with me just enables him to go on without seeking treatment. This is the issue.
Take your blinders off.

I'm not really expecting an answer out of you.

 

[DeterminedDoc]

Turns out I got a W instead of an F for biostats since my counselor spoke to the Dean about my depression, which means i just failed econ so far and bombed all my other classes.

Sadly, if you want an MD, you're probably going to have to go Caribbean. I wouldn't suggest that for a number of reasons, but it is an option. If you just want to be a doctor, then you're gonna have to make some major changes in your life and go for DO. Sorry to say it, but that's just the way it is.

Im already seeing a counselor at my school. Honestly though I don't see a point anymore since I'm studying in Canada:

a) there are no DOs at my hospital
b) all of the pre-med programs offer advice only for MD programs since thats the only degree offered in Canada (and the rest of the world....)

The point I'm trying to make is that the doctors who I've met, who have inspired me, and taught me many things have all been MDs. Even if by some miracle, I did get myself up competitive enough for DO schools, then I don't think I would still have a reason for applying to DO schools. I would rather give that seat to someone who has a good reason (as already mentioned) and genuinely wants to go to DO rather than going that route just because I suck and failed too much for MD. Caribbean is an option, but its too expensive and I've never heard good things about it from my friends who are there.

Im not sure if ill ever be able to forgive myself for this huge huge loss in life. I seriously don't see the point anymore with all this. Ill just have to accept the fact that I'm a failure and that I have failed in achieving my dream. Its going to take a lot of time for that and I'm not sure how its going to not tear me apart, but ill try.

Thanks for the advice and responses. Maybe there is some glorious dead-end career out there that I can look into where I can't really fail.

 

[dreamweaver1988]

Turns out I got a W instead of an F for biostats since my counselor spoke to the Dean about my depression, which means i just failed econ so far and bombed all my other classes.



Im already seeing a counselor at my school. Honestly though I don't see a point anymore since I'm studying in Canada:

a) there are no DOs at my hospital
b) all of the pre-med programs offer advice only for MD programs since thats the only degree offered in Canada (and the rest of the world....)

The point I'm trying to make is that the doctors who I've met, who have inspired me, and taught me many things have all been MDs. Even if by some miracle, I did get myself up competitive enough for DO schools, then I don't think I would still have a reason for applying to DO schools. I would rather give that seat to someone who has a good reason (as already mentioned) and genuinely wants to go to DO rather than going that route just because I suck and failed too much for MD. Caribbean is an option, but its too expensive and I've never heard good things about it from my friends who are there.

Im not sure if ill ever be able to forgive myself for this huge huge loss in life. I seriously don't see the point anymore with all this. Ill just have to accept the fact that I'm a failure and that I have failed in achieving my dream. Its going to take a lot of time for that and I'm not sure how its going to not tear me apart, but ill try.

Thanks for the advice and responses. Maybe there is some glorious dead-end career out there that I can look into where I can't really fail.

I would suggest calling up DOs in the United States and scheduling a time to come down and shadow. You can probably find a cheap flight or train ride down to Detroit, Albany, Seatlle, or somewhere else close to Canada. You will have to do this anyway to get into most DO schools. Plus, you will have the chance to see what DOs do (same things as MDs btw) and hopefully be inspired.

I know you're short on DO inspiration, but I would suggest focusing on the profession, not the degree. I highly doubt any person who saw a nurse lovingly care for a patient and was then inspired to be a nurse cared whether the nurse had the BSN or ADN degree. He/she was a nurse, period. And you should want to be a physician, period. Good luck!

Edit: Also, some DO schools don't require you to necessarily shadow a DO, just a doctor, period. And if you explain that there are no DOs in your area (although if you look hard enough you'll probably find at least one), I would think some school would waive the requirement to shadow a DO and let you shadow a MD instead.

 

[Kadava Reviva]

Turns out I got a W instead of an F for biostats since my counselor spoke to the Dean about my depression, which means i just failed econ so far and bombed all my other classes.



Im already seeing a counselor at my school. Honestly though I don't see a point anymore since I'm studying in Canada:

a) there are no DOs at my hospital
b) all of the pre-med programs offer advice only for MD programs since thats the only degree offered in Canada (and the rest of the world....)

The point I'm trying to make is that the doctors who I've met, who have inspired me, and taught me many things have all been MDs. Even if by some miracle, I did get myself up competitive enough for DO schools, then I don't think I would still have a reason for applying to DO schools. I would rather give that seat to someone who has a good reason (as already mentioned) and genuinely wants to go to DO rather than going that route just because I suck and failed too much for MD. Caribbean is an option, but its too expensive and I've never heard good things about it from my friends who are there.

Im not sure if ill ever be able to forgive myself for this huge huge loss in life. I seriously don't see the point anymore with all this. Ill just have to accept the fact that I'm a failure and that I have failed in achieving my dream. Its going to take a lot of time for that and I'm not sure how its going to not tear me apart, but ill try.

Thanks for the advice and responses. Maybe there is some glorious dead-end career out there that I can look into where I can't really fail.

Of course the doctors who inspired you are MDs. There are very few U.S. trained DOs in Canada (only U.S. trained DOs are considered physicians in Canada). That doesn't mean you can't meet a DO that can inspire you when you are in DO school. It is not what school you went to that makes you inspiring.

If you want info on U.S. schools (MD or DO), visit their websites. Search Google to find them. BTW, U.S. MD schools are usually easier to get into than Canadian schools because of numbers. If you want to do residency in Canada, it really doesn't matter which school you attended, U.S. or Canadian. You will have more difficulty if you trained outside the U.S. or Canada.

BTW DD, check your PMs.

 

[TriagePreMed]

Also the fact you are trying to undermine my Canadian degree

Not really a response to you because I already said I'm done, but for the record, I do believe international degrees can hold as much (perhaps more in some cases) prestige as American degrees. It is just tongue-in-cheek because I knew it would easily make you go bonkers. That being said, Canada is still America Jr.

 

[Hilll05]

By all means, your own health is paramount. Manage your depression. Focus on your undergraduate education. Medicine is a stressful profession. You do not want to enter medicine while fighting depression. There are post baccalaureate programs that you can pursue after completing your bachelors degree.

 

[Kadava Reviva]

Not really a response to you because I already said I'm done, but for the record, I do believe international degrees can hold as much (perhaps more in some cases) prestige as American degrees. It is just tongue-in-cheek because I knew it would easily make you go bonkers. That being said, Canada is still America Jr.

I know you can't see me, but I am not going bonkers. If you really believed Canadian degrees have less value, it would only look bad on you.

I knew you wouldn't answer anything.

You also said you are finished with me, but posted again, avoiding every pertinent question I asked you. What I see in you is a layperson who criticised someone more qualified, got caught, tried to pass as a specialist, avoided every question asked, started name-calling, showed ignorance about Canadian vs U.S. education, failed to answer any question I asked under the guise of "I am done with you" (which means you lost all your arguments), but keep replying to my posts.
I am sorry to have to say this, but I worked in law eforcement before becoming a Doctor (I am over 40), am practising medicine both in civilian hospitals and in military medical inspection rooms and, as a military officer, I know a thing or two about interviewing and questioning. I can smell bull$h!t 1.6093km away and must say your posts give out a very familiar aroma. Your are not the first to use avoidance tactics, you know.

I know you will post again.
I know you will not answer any questions I asked you because, if you do, you know that I'll know you are b.s.ing and will expose you again.

You can post again and prove me right, or you can prove me wrong by answering honestly with real material.

If you were lying, you shouldn't post. Just trash your account and start a new one if you want to save face.
You are still a fairly new member; shouldn't affect you too much.

Remember this tread is about helping DD. It is serious mattter and not a place for a novice posing as an expert. Don't be harmful.


BTW, I owe you an apology. I thought you were attacking my credentials when you wrote "Go ahead and enjoy your self-made 'score board.' " I realised later you meant the "Me: 1, You: 0" that I posted earlier.

 

[Kadava Reviva]

DeterminedDoc
I sent you a personal message.

 

[DeterminedDoc]

Sorry. I just don't know how to get over the fact that I screwed myself so hard that I officially suck too much for med school and life in general. Even if I got into a DO school, my only reason would be because I couldn't go to an MD school and that would just make me hate myself even more. I can't believe that after all this time I haven't learned, and now its just too late.

At one point, I was aiming for Columbia, and now I am not even good enough to get into DO schools.

When you have a dream and one day you realize that you just, in every aspect possible, suck beyond reason. It kills you inside. I don't know how to live with that feeling besides using drugs.

 

[TriagePreMed]

Sorry. I just don't know how to get over the fact that I screwed myself so hard that I officially suck too much for med school and life in general. Even if I got into a DO school, my only reason would be because I couldn't go to an MD school and that would just make me hate myself even more. I can't believe that after all this time I haven't learned, and now its just too late.

At one point, I was aiming for Columbia, and now I am not even good enough to get into DO schools.

When you have a dream and one day you realize that you just, in every aspect possible, suck beyond reason. It kills you inside. I don't know how to live with that feeling besides using drugs.

You need to get your issues sorted out before you attempt going to medical school. Many people went the Osteopathic route and are completely happy about their decision. This could also be you if you put your efforts in recovering from depression. And still, M.D. school is not necessarily out of the question.

 

[DeterminedDoc]

You need to get your issues sorted out before you attempt going to medical school. Many people went the Osteopathic route and are completely happy about their decision. This could also be you if you put your efforts in recovering from depression.

But don't you see the correlation between that and my depression? It may not be the main reason but certainly a part of it.

And still, M.D. school is not necessarily out of the question.

How so when you know my GPA, how many years in school I've been in, and not necessarily my exact GPA this semester but at least you have an idea of how bad I am doing still?

Given all that and the fact that everyone on here has pretty much said its DO or Carib?

 

[TriagePreMed]

But don't you see the correlation between that and my depression? It may not be the main reason but certainly a part of it.

How so when you know my GPA, how many years in school I've been in, and not necessarily my exact GPA this semester but at least you have an idea of how bad I am doing still?

Given all that and the fact that everyone on here has pretty much said its DO or Carib?

You need to seek help from a professional. There's no word combination that I know that will get through to you because you suffer from an emotional problem, not logical. A professional will guide you through exercises to recover yourself.

If your grades were better and had a shot at MD, chances are you'd probably still be sad because it wasn't Hopkins or Harvard. Don't make your goal getting into medical school. Your goal is to get better. Then you worry about medical school, and no, US-MD is not out of the realm of possibilities; it is just immensely harder now.

 

[varsityblue]

Yeah, there's a chance. I know of a family friend who partied a little too hard at a low-ranked state school with a 2.5 who still managed to get in a school in the South directly out of undergrad.

Apply to tier 5 U.S. schools (the absolute bottom of the list), a few Caribbean schools, and low-ranked international schools.

If you're rejected everywhere, it may be time to consider graduate school.

 

[Kadava Reviva]

Yeah, there's a chance. I know of a family friend who partied a little too hard at a low-ranked state school with a 2.5 who still managed to get in a school in the South directly out of undergrad.

Apply to tier 5 U.S. schools (the absolute bottom of the list), a few Caribbean schools, and low-ranked international schools.

If you're rejected everywhere, it may be time to consider graduate school.

Ouch! You may have underestimated the rigours of getting in grad school.
First, you probably need to be on the honours program, which means more credits, keeping high grades and an honours research thesis. You probably need to volunteer to do research with a professor who will eventually give you shining references. You will need marks which are very similar to the ones needed by med school, write a graduate school standardised test of some sort and will still have to take a pesky interview. Then, you will need a professor which will agree to supervise you and guide you on your thesis. Once there, in addition to your schoolwork and research, you will probably also work as a T.A. - yuck!

On the other hand, your family friend was pretty lucky. Do you know what school he got in? It may give hope to some of our more discouraged people.
Any idea what his MCAT scores were like?
Remember; the best doctors are not always the ones with the best GPA in undergrad.

 

[DeterminedDoc]

You need to seek help from a professional. There's no word combination that I know that will get through to you because you suffer from an emotional problem, not logical. A professional will guide you through exercises to recover yourself.

If your grades were better and had a shot at MD, chances are you'd probably still be sad because it wasn't Hopkins or Harvard. Don't make your goal getting into medical school. Your goal is to get better. Then you worry about medical school, and no, US-MD is not out of the realm of possibilities; it is just immensely harder now.

I am already seeing a professional, have been on different SSRIs with little effect. Im not really sure what good therapy can do for me anymore since my life hasn't really changed that much since starting it.

I think the only way for me to find peace is by achieving my goals. I just don't think I can be happy till I do, and at this point its either give up or wait a really long time till that happens.

Im going to have to find a way to be an actual confident, disciplined, successful man and not the little p*ssy failure always worrying about my past and my future which is who I really am till I do achieve my goals.

I doubt anyone here has screwed up as much as me so no one can probably relate since most of you must be hanging out with your 3.8s.

But for those who may know where I am coming from, how do you find it in yourself to believe that you still can and that you have it in you after consistently getting low grades for this long a time (by long time I mean all through high school and college)?

 

[TriagePreMed]

I come from a 2.7 ending my bachelors with a downward trend. Now I'm at a 3.1 after working really hard for 2 years with a 3.8 average. I don't expect to get into a US-MD school, but I'll be very proud and happy if I get into a D.O. school.

If you need to try a new physician/psychologist, there's nothing wrong with that. Maybe the first one was simply ineffective.

I am already seeing a professional, have been on different SSRIs with little effect. Im not really sure what good therapy can do for me anymore since my life hasn't really changed that much since starting it.

I think the only way for me to find peace is by achieving my goals. I just don't think I can be happy till I do, and at this point its either give up or wait a really long time till that happens.

Im going to have to find a way to be an actual confident, disciplined, successful man and not the little p*ssy failure always worrying about my past and my future which is who I really am till I do achieve my goals.

I doubt anyone here has screwed up as much as me so no one can probably relate since most of you must be hanging out with your 3.8s.

But for those who may know where I am coming from, how do you find it in yourself to believe that you still can and that you have it in you after consistently getting low grades for this long a time (by long time I mean all through high school and college)?

 

[DeterminedDoc]

I come from a 2.7 ending my bachelors with a downward trend. Now I'm at a 3.1 after working really hard for 2 years with a 3.8 average. I don't expect to get into a US-MD school, but I'll be very proud and happy if I get into a D.O. school.

If you need to try a new physician/psychologist, there's nothing wrong with that. Maybe the first one was simply ineffective.

I think therapy in general is useless in my case. I have no external reason to blame my failures on such as a family tragedy, illness, bad relationship, etc.

I pretty much destroyed my grades and GPA out of my own laziness and irresponsibility. How am I supposed to forgive myself for that? How am I supposed to feel good about myself after that? Therapy can only do so much, but even that cannot change who you actually are - i.e. therapy cannot take a person who is a failure and make him successful if he is inherently a failure to begin with. It exists only to patch wounds, not to rip off the skin and replace it with a new one.

I mean when I look at myself in the mirror, I feel nothing but shame. Ive destroyed my grades because I was a little p*ssy that was too afraid to do what was necessary and lazed around instead of studying. I became a drug addict because that was how I dealt with my past failures. Ive put on a lot of weight because of it, and I've become less social as well.

At the end of the day, unless there is a reset button that could reverse time and put me back at the start, I'm not sure how I'm supposed to move forward when I am STILL so haunted by my past, even though I try not to let it. "Working hard" itself is useless advice for me when I have no hope that it will actually pay off in the end anymore.

 

[TriagePreMed]

I think therapy in general is useless in my case. I have no external reason to blame my failures on such as a family tragedy, illness, bad relationship, etc.

I pretty much destroyed my grades and GPA out of my own laziness and irresponsibility. How am I supposed to forgive myself for that? How am I supposed to feel good about myself after that? Therapy can only do so much, but even that cannot change who you actually are - i.e. therapy cannot take a person who is a failure and make him successful if he is inherently a failure to begin with. It exists only to patch wounds, not to rip off the skin and replace it with a new one.

I mean when I look at myself in the mirror, I feel nothing but shame. Ive destroyed my grades because I was a little p*ssy that was too afraid to do what was necessary and lazed around instead of studying. I became a drug addict because that was how I dealt with my past failures. Ive put on a lot of weight because of it, and I've become less social as well.

At the end of the day, unless there is a reset button that could reverse time and put me back at the start, I'm not sure how I'm supposed to move forward when I am STILL so haunted by my past, even though I try not to let it. "Working hard" itself is useless advice for me when I have no hope that it will actually pay off in the end anymore.

I think it's pretty obvious to me and many others here that you have a defeatist way of thinking which taints your entire life.

All I can do is encourage you to keep looking for help. You will eventually find something that's right for you and make peace with your life.

 

[DeterminedDoc]

I think it's pretty obvious to me and many others here that you have a defeatist way of thinking which taints your entire life.

All I can do is encourage you to keep looking for help. You will eventually find something that's right for you and make peace with your life.

I mean that was kind of obvious to me as well lol, and I think the point was to find ways to avoid that kind of thinking? i.e. if anyone had it that bad, how did they stop that kind of thinking, forgive themselves, and how did they keep going? but its ok, its understandable that most people here can't relate. Even the people who had lower GPAs are mostly non-trads.

I have found something - I still want to be a doctor, and I will make peace with my life when I achieve my goals and show myself that I could.

Problem is, I'm just not sure if I really believe I can anymore. That is the problem. I can't forgive myself for my past even though I know I should just move on.

 

[JJMrK]

This thread has been reported by several members due to the statement by the OP about self-harm. SDN takes such statements seriously and we would like to remind the OP and all posters that SDN should not serve as a place to obtain counseling or other advice regarding significant psychological issues. Anyone who is contemplating harming themselves should immediately seek professional counseling advice, not rely on SDN or other non-professional resources.

At this time, given the nature of the thread and the concerns expressed, the moderation staff of SDN will close this thread.