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Well I know that silly! I just thought either you were being rude, or you have that kind of relationship... lol
Well I know that silly! I just thought either you were being rude, or you have that kind of relationship... lol
We're all here for you, FS.Yeah I may be in the same LDR boat before long. It's been really nice living together too. Could maybe find work here, but after graduation she'll probably move back home and get a job there while I stay here for the next 3ish years to finish my PhD. I'm not worried about our relationship, but I dunno...I'm somewhat conflicted on what to do with my life.
Finishing vet school never really felt real until this point, it's weird thinking ahead.
Yeah I thought I'd be in vet school foreverYeah I may be in the same LDR boat before long. It's been really nice living together too. Could maybe find work here, but after graduation she'll probably move back home and get a job there while I stay here for the next 3ish years to finish my PhD. I'm not worried about our relationship, but I dunno...I'm somewhat conflicted on what to do with my life.
Finishing vet school never really felt real until this point, it's weird thinking ahead.
Oh no PP, I am so sorryWelp, we can count another relationship as sacrificed to the vet school gods. Gotta love when all of the effort becomes one sided and you can tell the other person doesn't want to be involved anymore, but they took months to admit it to themselves.
Thanks. it's been a rocky semester for us in general...so I don't know that he won't cool down and call me, but he really has always hated the 6 hours between us and I think he finally just reached his breaking point. Things can only go up for me at this point, though, so there's the silver lining...I guess?Oh no PP, I am so sorry
Welp, we can count another relationship as sacrificed to the vet school gods. Gotta love when all of the effort becomes one sided and you can tell the other person doesn't want to be involved anymore, but they took months to admit it to themselves.
Welp, we can count another relationship as sacrificed to the vet school gods. Gotta love when all of the effort becomes one sided and you can tell the other person doesn't want to be involved anymore, but they took months to admit it to themselves.
You guys are the best. We finally spent a few hours on the phone. We're going to try to just talk. Not rushing into anything yet, but it's a little glimmer of hope.
aww thanks for checking on meHow are you doing? <3
aww thanks for checking on me
I'm a ball of confusion now....today we had to discuss why I am no longer moving in with him as soon as Thanksgiving break. He didn't understand why I thought it wasn't the best idea. Engineers I'm just angry right now that he said what he had said Saturday, and he knows that, but it's tough for me not to completely unload on him. I just know if I did that, it would set us back another few steps.
Edit: I should probably elaborate more and say we decided to get back together.
Yeah, one day at a time. There's a lot more to my feelings than I'm letting on because I don't want to dump on you guys. I just find it kind of funny that only two days later he expects me to be totally back to normal. First he says he doesn't regret Saturday because he was unhappy, then he says he does regret it. I guess I'm just not holding my breath here because I don't know if someone can say the things he said and then suddenly take them all back like he's trying to.One day at a time right? Living together worked out nicely for my Hubsy and I, but we have a couple of months to get used to that before I was off to vet school and suddenly he does all the house chores (He doesn't really but probs like...60%).
I'm so sorry you're going through this To me it is entirely unfair and unacceptable for him to jerk you back and forth like that. If you're gonna say stuff like that then you'd better mean it, and taking it back two days later doesn't mean immediate forgiveness. I know you guys aren't married but it's like if someone handed you divorce papers and then two days later took them back (but like, kept them in their back pocket) and expected everything to be ok. It's not ok.Yeah, one day at a time. There's a lot more to my feelings than I'm letting on because I don't want to dump on you guys. I just find it kind of funny that only two days later he expects me to be totally back to normal. First he says he doesn't regret Saturday because he was unhappy, then he says he does regret it. I guess I'm just not holding my breath here because I don't know if someone can say the things he said and then suddenly take them all back like he's trying to.
One day at a time.
Yeah, agreed. I get saying stuff in the heat of the moment because we were definitely having a big fight, but he calmly told me what he said. Pulled the rug out from under me, basically. I'm trying to get him to understand that I don't know how long it will be before I can trust him when he says "I love you" but that I hope I can feel comfortable with him again. I do love him so much and I'm very willing to work things out, but we'll see. I've sorta been through this before with my last ex, so maybe it's me somehow.I'm so sorry you're going through this To me it is entirely unfair and unacceptable for him to jerk you back and forth like that. If you're gonna say stuff like that then you'd better mean it, and taking it back two days later doesn't mean immediate forgiveness. I know you guys aren't married but it's like if someone handed you divorce papers and then two days later took them back (but like, kept them in their back pocket) and expected everything to be ok. It's not ok.
I've had enough people in my life who say things, then later say they didn't mean them and expect it to be like nothing ever happened. It's extremely frustrating to deal with. Forgiveness is easy enough, but forgetting is not. The problem is that you know that those things wouldn't have been said if there wasn't some true feeling behind them. All you can do is try to express to him that he hurt you and that it is going to take time for that to heal. And he's going to have to make an effort to show you that it's not just going to happen again, and that he's not just suppressing whatever it was that he was feeling that made him say what he did. Because that **** will just come back to the surface the next time things get rough, and that's no way for a relationship to function. I really hope things work out and that you guys come to a better understanding somehow.Yeah, agreed. I get saying stuff in the heat of the moment because we were definitely having a big fight, but he calmly told me what he said. Pulled the rug out from under me, basically. I'm trying to get him to understand that I don't know how long it will be before I can trust him when he says "I love you" but that I hope I can feel comfortable with him again. I do love him so much and I'm very willing to work things out, but we'll see. I've sorta been through this before with my last ex, so maybe it's me somehow.
Exactly, and it's terrifying. He claims he said what he said in order to really shove me off so I wouldn't try to chase after him. Maybe I shouldn't have. Lots of thinking I need to do, if I'll ever have time.I've had enough people in my life who say things, then later say they didn't mean them and expect it to be like nothing ever happened. It's extremely frustrating to deal with. Forgiveness is easy enough, but forgetting is not. The problem is that you know that those things wouldn't have been said if there wasn't some true feeling behind them. All you can do is try to express to him that he hurt you and that it is going to take time for that to heal. And he's going to have to make an effort to show you that it's not just going to happen again, and that he's not just suppressing whatever it was that he was feeling that made him say what he did. Because that **** will just come back to the surface the next time things get rough, and that's no way for a relationship to function. I really hope things work out and that you guys come to a better understanding somehow.
It's not a bad idea to have a rough idea in my opinion. As long as you guys are actually communicating about the plans, I don't see why it'd be an issue. I don't necessarily recommend trying to plan a wedding during vet school, but it's not impossible. You may just have a longer planning phase.Kinda going to steal the thread here, but I just need to share. My boyfriend and I have been together for a little over a year now. He’s a former medic so he’s 26, I’m about to be 21, and he’s currently going back to school at my university. I love him dearly and we’ve discussed getting married. We are both committed to each other and he’s already told me he’ll go wherever I go.
We wanted to move in together over the summer, but my family wasn’t keen on that, so I live in my apartment and he lives at his. I don’t get to see him as much as I used to because of conflicting schedules, but every time I talk to him on the phone or see him it makes my day.
In theory, I know he wants to propose within the next six months to a year. I’m nervous, but I look forward to being with him in marriage. Ironically what I’m most nervous about is trying to schedule in a wedding that isn’t even ‘official’ yet. I think it would be best to do it before vet school, but I also don’t want to rush. Plus, he’s two semesters behind me, so regardless, my first year at vet school we probably will be LDR. I just…ugh…I know that should be sooo far away in my mind right now, but it feels like time is getting faster and faster every year
Kinda going to steal the thread here, but I just need to share. My boyfriend and I have been together for a little over a year now. He’s a former medic so he’s 26, I’m about to be 21, and he’s currently going back to school at my university. I love him dearly and we’ve discussed getting married. We are both committed to each other and he’s already told me he’ll go wherever I go.
We wanted to move in together over the summer, but my family wasn’t keen on that, so I live in my apartment and he lives at his. I don’t get to see him as much as I used to because of conflicting schedules, but every time I talk to him on the phone or see him it makes my day.
In theory, I know he wants to propose within the next six months to a year. I’m nervous, but I look forward to being with him in marriage. Ironically what I’m most nervous about is trying to schedule in a wedding that isn’t even ‘official’ yet. I think it would be best to do it before vet school, but I also don’t want to rush. Plus, he’s two semesters behind me, so regardless, my first year at vet school we probably will be LDR. I just…ugh…I know that should be sooo far away in my mind right now, but it feels like time is getting faster and faster every year
It's not a bad idea to have a rough idea in my opinion. As long as you guys are actually communicating about the plans, I don't see why it'd be an issue. I don't necessarily recommend trying to plan a wedding during vet school, but it's not impossible. You may just have a longer planning phase.
I wouldn't go about booking a venue until you guys are actually engaged, though, if that's what you were getting at.
Yep, I completely relate to that!Ha, trust me, I'm not that much of an over planner. Up until we got together, I was a passionate member of the not getting married club. meaning this whole world of engagement and pinterest wedding boards is a fascinating but dangerous head in the clouds hobby.
Kinda going to steal the thread here, but I just need to share. My boyfriend and I have been together for a little over a year now. He’s a former medic so he’s 26, I’m about to be 21, and he’s currently going back to school at my university. I love him dearly and we’ve discussed getting married. We are both committed to each other and he’s already told me he’ll go wherever I go.
We wanted to move in together over the summer, but my family wasn’t keen on that, so I live in my apartment and he lives at his. I don’t get to see him as much as I used to because of conflicting schedules, but every time I talk to him on the phone or see him it makes my day.
In theory, I know he wants to propose within the next six months to a year. I’m nervous, but I look forward to being with him in marriage. Ironically what I’m most nervous about is trying to schedule in a wedding that isn’t even ‘official’ yet. I think it would be best to do it before vet school, but I also don’t want to rush. Plus, he’s two semesters behind me, so regardless, my first year at vet school we probably will be LDR. I just…ugh…I know that should be sooo far away in my mind right now, but it feels like time is getting faster and faster every year
LDR is not impossible. Don't rule it out.Me and the BF currently discussing pros and cons of marriage before vet school or after the 1st year of vet school (provided I get in this summer). Anyone do either of these things? The LDR prospect is daunting, as is planning a wedding during my first year I hate the variability of the application cycle and not knowing where I'm going live/be in the next year. Makes all of these decisions even harder.
Have to admit, things would be a hell of a lot easier without vet school in the mix.
Me and the BF currently discussing pros and cons of marriage before vet school or after the 1st year of vet school (provided I get in this summer). Anyone do either of these things? The LDR prospect is daunting, as is planning a wedding during my first year I hate the variability of the application cycle and not knowing where I'm going live/be in the next year. Makes all of these decisions even harder.
Have to admit, things would be a hell of a lot easier without vet school in the mix.
It was truly a fantastic decision. The post-courthouse celebratory cheese fries were also a solid idea, in case you need suggestions.Man, listening to everyone here trying to figure out how to plan weddings during school just reminds me of how much I would really just like to go to a courthouse when I'm eventually with someone I'd like to marry. I hate big events, I hate coordinating with my family, and I hate being the center of an event. I just want a spouse, a cake, some booze, and a honeymoon.
Man, listening to everyone here trying to figure out how to plan weddings during school just reminds me of how much I would really just like to go to a courthouse when I'm eventually with someone I'd like to marry. I hate big events, I hate coordinating with my family, and I hate being the center of an event. I just want a spouse, a cake, some booze, and a honeymoon.
Cheese fries are always a solid idea.It was truly a fantastic decision. The post-courthouse celebratory cheese fries were also a solid idea, in case you need suggestions.
I feel the same way but in the end, the wedding is mostly about other people (family, friends) and I didn't want to hurt anyone's feelings. I still wish we'd gotten married with our immediate family present and just gone to dinner afterwards, but in the end I think it was worth sucking it up for the day so our family and friends weren't hurt. (Obviously everyone's family situation is different, but we're pretty close to ours.)
I personally think it would be nice to get married very close to either an In-N-Out or a taco stand.It was truly a fantastic decision. The post-courthouse celebratory cheese fries were also a solid idea, in case you need suggestions.
LDR is not impossible. Don't rule it out.
My wedding probably won't be much more than this, but because of money rather than family things. I probably am going to offend some people but I simply can't afford to have 100 people there, I'm not even sure I can afford 50. My mom and I are going to try to get the bulk of the planning done over winter break so we'll see how it goes.Man, listening to everyone here trying to figure out how to plan weddings during school just reminds me of how much I would really just like to go to a courthouse when I'm eventually with someone I'd like to marry. I hate big events, I hate coordinating with my family, and I hate being the center of an event. I just want a spouse, a cake, some booze, and a honeymoon.
My wedding probably won't be much more than this, but because of money rather than family things. I probably am going to offend some people but I simply can't afford to have 100 people there, I'm not even sure I can afford 50. My mom and I are going to try to get the bulk of the planning done over winter break so we'll see how it goes.
Sounds a lot like my relationship. I moved 1000 miles away 5 months in, was there for almost 8 months. Moved 6 hours away 7 months later to start school. Now that I think about it, we haven't had a single anniversary pass while we were in the same state (he's visited for 2/3 though, the most recent one fell during exams).Long distance relationships are aweful. Been in one for 2 1/2 years of the 3 1/2 years me and my boyfriend have been together. Its been eating at our relationship recently and it sucks.
Gah, seriously. I hate so much that my boyfriend's (our) first house is something he's figuring out relatively on his own. That's something every couple does together, and I feel like we're missing a huge milestone. On my end, I don't even sleep well if he's not with me.Been in an LDR for 3.5 of the 4 years we've been together. It is so tough! We've been really good lately about taking the time to spend together, and visiting whenever we can, even if it's just for a day or so.
Nurturing the relationship is by far the hardest part. There's nothing more that I want than to be able to be there to support my BF in his schooling and through the rough times. And I would love to just have a hug from him on my tough days. But there's only so much we can do when we're hours apart.
Sounds a lot like my relationship. I moved 1000 miles away 5 months in, was there for almost 8 months. Moved 6 hours away 7 months later to start school. Now that I think about it, we haven't had a single anniversary pass while we were in the same state (he's visited for 2/3 though, the most recent one fell during exams).
You have to really want the relationship to work, that's for sure. You have to take every opportunity you can to see each other, and you can't get lazy. You don't have to talk to each other every minute, but it's easy to get so busy and almost forget to nurture your relationship when you aren't coming home to your SO every night.
My boyfriend and I had a massive blowout fight a month or so ago. We broke up, it was bad, yada yada. We both decided that we absolutely want this to work, and we're putting a lot of effort in. It's only been a few weeks, so hopefully it doesn't fizzle out. Going home for Christmas can only help. The one thing I've learned is that while you have to respect the other persons needs, you deserve to have your needs met as well.
Feel free to message me anytime. I agree, LDRs suck.
If anyone needs cheering up about their relationship, I was recently dumped via text message. And we weren't even long distance. We go to the same school and live like 5 minutes apart.