- Joined
- May 22, 2001
- Messages
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I have reentered the pre-med journey and I have encountered a major obstacle. I'd appreciate gaining perspective on how other spouses, significant others, took the news that you were going to pursue medicine.
Here's my story:
I went into the Navy wanting to apply to medical school after I finished. I learned to be a medical corpsman (basic nursing skills, IV care, catheters, etc and EMT). Went to medical laboratory school, loved learning the science and clinical and diagnostic applications, worked in a medical lab for several years. Worked closely with doctors, saw first hand the enormous responsibility of being a doctor.
Went to college to get a degree in biochemistry, started off with A's in science and then as a sophomore doing research in the biochem lab for the biochem dept chair. Worked 2 nights at the hospital lab. Great start, huh? Well, family problems occurred, I developed health problems; my life was turning upside down. Worst experience ever, more stressful than the military. I don't want to get into the details, but the result, I couldn't concentrate in class, quit my hospital job, worked weekends at a small business instead. All I wanted to do was get out of college. I changed majors to business, knew I'd get a job straight out of college. As a result, I'm a stronger person for it.
Now, 2 years after college, I know I'm not doing what I want to do. My husband does agree that I should go back to college. He's in the same business field (IT) and it is his passion, but not my passion. I want to make more of a difference for society. I don't look forward to reading IT trade magazines, I surf the web learning about science, medicine, etc. Therefore, he's in agreement that I should go back to school, encourages me to get my Ph.D. in biochemistry.
My husband was a business/psych major in college and already knows that the most stressful and demanding job is being a physician, from all of those darn case studies they read in psych class! Anyhow, he's arguing strongly that I will make a difference by finding medical breakthroughs in the lab. I agree, research is extremely important. I could do that IF I wasn't deemed qualified to be a med student and IF I didn't have such a strong desire to be a physician. I keep thinking, I'd be settling with myself if I pursued the Ph.D. I'd be extremely happy with a Ph.D., but I enjoy medicine, clinical case studies, integrating and coordinating multiple facets of medical care to assist a patient. On the bright side, he's inadvertently preparing me for the medical school interview asking questions about why be a physician vs. a Ph.D., why do I want to treat patients, how will I cope with dying patients (I'm currently interested in oncology), etc.
Last night, he said, if I got into medical school, he will still pay for it, even if he decides that he doesn't want to be married to someone that will be away from home for so many hours. (We've decided that kids aren't for us, but enjoy helping kids in our community) Needless to say, that got the tears going from both of us. My husband's motivation is that he enjoys spending time with me and wants us to bike, hike, run, travel together, and he realizes how many hours it will take away from us. It's also difficult for him, because we have become accustomed to a very comfortable lifestyle. A brand-new house, exotic vacations, etc. and are both doing quite well financially.
My question, what were the reactions of your spouses, significant others, etc when you decided to pursue pre-med, medicine. If you're in medical school or residency, how is your relationship? I am not asking anyone what to do, that would be too big of a question, but I'd like to learn how your decision affected your spouses and the specific obstacles you faced.
Thanks for sharing your experiences with me and let me know if I need to clarify something.
Here's my story:
I went into the Navy wanting to apply to medical school after I finished. I learned to be a medical corpsman (basic nursing skills, IV care, catheters, etc and EMT). Went to medical laboratory school, loved learning the science and clinical and diagnostic applications, worked in a medical lab for several years. Worked closely with doctors, saw first hand the enormous responsibility of being a doctor.
Went to college to get a degree in biochemistry, started off with A's in science and then as a sophomore doing research in the biochem lab for the biochem dept chair. Worked 2 nights at the hospital lab. Great start, huh? Well, family problems occurred, I developed health problems; my life was turning upside down. Worst experience ever, more stressful than the military. I don't want to get into the details, but the result, I couldn't concentrate in class, quit my hospital job, worked weekends at a small business instead. All I wanted to do was get out of college. I changed majors to business, knew I'd get a job straight out of college. As a result, I'm a stronger person for it.
Now, 2 years after college, I know I'm not doing what I want to do. My husband does agree that I should go back to college. He's in the same business field (IT) and it is his passion, but not my passion. I want to make more of a difference for society. I don't look forward to reading IT trade magazines, I surf the web learning about science, medicine, etc. Therefore, he's in agreement that I should go back to school, encourages me to get my Ph.D. in biochemistry.
My husband was a business/psych major in college and already knows that the most stressful and demanding job is being a physician, from all of those darn case studies they read in psych class! Anyhow, he's arguing strongly that I will make a difference by finding medical breakthroughs in the lab. I agree, research is extremely important. I could do that IF I wasn't deemed qualified to be a med student and IF I didn't have such a strong desire to be a physician. I keep thinking, I'd be settling with myself if I pursued the Ph.D. I'd be extremely happy with a Ph.D., but I enjoy medicine, clinical case studies, integrating and coordinating multiple facets of medical care to assist a patient. On the bright side, he's inadvertently preparing me for the medical school interview asking questions about why be a physician vs. a Ph.D., why do I want to treat patients, how will I cope with dying patients (I'm currently interested in oncology), etc.
Last night, he said, if I got into medical school, he will still pay for it, even if he decides that he doesn't want to be married to someone that will be away from home for so many hours. (We've decided that kids aren't for us, but enjoy helping kids in our community) Needless to say, that got the tears going from both of us. My husband's motivation is that he enjoys spending time with me and wants us to bike, hike, run, travel together, and he realizes how many hours it will take away from us. It's also difficult for him, because we have become accustomed to a very comfortable lifestyle. A brand-new house, exotic vacations, etc. and are both doing quite well financially.
My question, what were the reactions of your spouses, significant others, etc when you decided to pursue pre-med, medicine. If you're in medical school or residency, how is your relationship? I am not asking anyone what to do, that would be too big of a question, but I'd like to learn how your decision affected your spouses and the specific obstacles you faced.
Thanks for sharing your experiences with me and let me know if I need to clarify something.