Problem in Residency

[Adjuvant]

Hey guys,

I am having a problem in residency... I feel depressed and really stressed. I need help... I am finishing my 2nd year... I worked very hard to make my staff evaluator happy but I couldn't... It will be my 3rd evaluation that gives me marginal evaluation... I am screwed... I am really afraid that what is going to happen.... Are they extending my program? ((( And what should I do...

I can explain more if there is anyone who has time to help...

Adj.

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[Gfunk6]

Are you in a Rad Onc residency?

 

[Adjuvant]

Are you in a Rad Onc residency?

Yes...

 

[napoleondynamite]

Hey Adj,

Sorry to hear of your troubles. Sounds to me like you need a vacation. Some time away from your department would probably do you good. Maybe read a non-medical book on the beach somewhere. Then come back and do some serious thinking about whether you have made the right career choice.

The first step is to be excited again about your job. I know it is hard to be excited to come to work though when you feel underappreciated and disliked. But if you can get back in touch with that person who was absolutely thrilled to match into the best specialty in medicine, everything else will probably work itself out. I don't know what the issues are, but without knowing anything else, that is my advice.

Best of luck to you. Hope things improve..

 

[Adjuvant]

Hey Adj,

Sorry to hear of your troubles. Sounds to me like you need a vacation. Some time away from your department would probably do you good. Maybe read a non-medical book on the beach somewhere. Then come back and do some serious thinking about whether you have made the right career choice.

The first step is to be excited again about your job. I know it is hard to be excited to come to work though when you feel underappreciated and disliked. But if you can get back in touch with that person who was absolutely thrilled to match into the best specialty in medicine, everything else will probably work itself out. I don't know what the issues are, but without knowing anything else, that is my advice.

Best of luck to you. Hope things improve..

Thanks for the reply... I'm being told that I am behind. I like the job, I like the program.

I study very very hard these days. Go to bed late. Go to work early . Attend all the rounds... Review all patients in clinic before hand...

But I do small and 'stupid' unacceptable mistakes probably...

 

[napoleondynamite]

Hey Adjuvant,

Being "behind" is fixable IMO. If your problems were interpersonal in nature or due to anything with integrity or character..then I would worry about your future and how to overcome bad evaluations on that front.

But if the only complaint about you is that you aren't smart enough yet (who is? There's a lot to know ) I think that is something you can sit down and talk about. If I were you, I would be proactive about it and request a meeting with your Chair or PD to talk it over. Be honest about your shortcomings, outline what your study habits have been, what your specific plan is to address this, etc. I think they would be sympathetic to that and you would probably also sleep better if you just talked it over and got everything out in the open. They will have the chance to tell you how you can improve, you can set some benchmarks, etc.

I haven't heard of anyone being kicked out of residency for not knowing enough after 2 years - the question to me would be, is this a lazy resident who is unwilling to put in the work? If not, I would work with you if I were in their shoes..just my 2 cents. Best of luck!

 

[Adjuvant]

Thank you very much.

I can give a bit of story as I am not sure what should I do now as the plan.

... In my first year I was doing fine. Then I had one year LOA and when I came back I had all sort of off service rotations which I had to do such as Med Onc and Hem and some internal med... etc.

When I was back to Rad Onc again after 2 years I was unlucky and I started with a staff who basically was just torturing me! He failed my rotation with a very harsh evaluation!!!

My program director was quite supportive ... And said as it's the first time that should pass...

But the very unfortunate thing was that I got marginal evaluations with some concern in comments following that...

Hard for me to say what I am lacking... And hence what my plan would be to address that.

I am studying very hard. I don't go to bed before 2am ( And I know that may play a role as well! lack of sleep! (( )

I really don’t know exactly what I am lacking. I can give you examples… And you know my level. Excluding internship I am at the end of year 2.
I do consults… I give good history and come with good plan most of the time… Cases like early and late stage NSCL Ca. operable/ non-operable/ resectable/ non resectable.... Early stage breast ca, post mastectomy breast ca, node positive and negative… Thyroid Ca stage I… and palliative cases; medullary Thyroid Ca, (huge mass in neck and …. )
But I have done mistakes that made my supervisor unhappy: Over two months:
1-. .Metastatic lung Ca to bone. Came with back pain, my impression was his pain is mostly paraspinal not in midline … Didn’t think XRT would help… My supervisor showed her surprise and disagreement


2-. .Distal Esoph. Ca post XRT Radical treatment. Hx of CHF and severe COPD came with pure hemoptysis. I didn’t discuss PE in my differential. She became unhappy. Pt was not SOB, no chest pain. no desaturation. STABLE. just hemoptysis.


3-. .What do we use in lung treatment positioning?
a.. .I didn’t know about Lung Board. I just discuss the positioning and arms.


4-. .Breast discussion. I went over all epid. Path. Histpry , approach everything thoroughly and correctly… ( she was asking me questions ) I answered these questions wrong:
a.. .42.5Gy for whole breast, what dose per fraction? I didn’t know.
b.. .Then I started to stressed and screwed up post mastectomy and whole breast XRT and said in planning we may include skin in our volume… ((( Which I know we don’t!
c.. .And then I said we do cone beam instead of check films. L((((


5-. .Ordered Flamazine in the 1st day post treatment.
6-. .Asked about the break through dose of HM… I couldn’t figure out…
7-. .Asked simple question aboutr physics… I couldn’t answer.

I would say that’s all happened in last two months . I myself look and see they are very basic stuff that I do all the time. (Like HM breakthrough dose. ) or when I explain for patients that they have to come 16 days for radiation. Or we always spare skin in whole breast… But I don’t know why at the moment I go blank! I have lost my confidence and when I am asked questions ( not always but sometimes ) instead of simply gfo through what I usually do I try hard to remember something which doesn’t exist. L
I am a visible minority and I am not sure if it doesn have anything to do woth this.
My big afraid is next block I will be PGY3 and will start head and neck for the first time… I don’t know what should I do…. I am so upset and disappointed.
Thanks for listening and offering the help.

Hey Adjuvant,

Being "behind" is fixable IMO. If your problems were interpersonal in nature or due to anything with integrity or character..then I would worry about your future and how to overcome bad evaluations on that front.

But if the only complaint about you is that you aren't smart enough yet (who is? There's a lot to know ) I think that is something you can sit down and talk about. If I were you, I would be proactive about it and request a meeting with your Chair or PD to talk it over. Be honest about your shortcomings, outline what your study habits have been, what your specific plan is to address this, etc. I think they would be sympathetic to that and you would probably also sleep better if you just talked it over and got everything out in the open. They will have the chance to tell you how you can improve, you can set some benchmarks, etc.

I haven't heard of anyone being kicked out of residency for not knowing enough after 2 years - the question to me would be, is this a lazy resident who is unwilling to put in the work? If not, I would work with you if I were in their shoes..just my 2 cents. Best of luck!

 

[napoleondynamite]

Sounds like the year off hurt you. But I think that it would hurt almost anyone. The important thing is how you deal with it and it at least sounds like you are trying.

As you study for your H&N rotation, focus on the basics first and don't get lost in the minutia until you have mastered the basics. Use the blue book and the Wiki site, memorize the bullet-point type factoids and familiarize yourself with the key studies. Know the anatomy. Once you feel comfortable with the big picture, then delve into the individual studies in detail.

I would meet with your H&N attending now to develop a plan. Ask them what the expectations for the rotation will be, what good resources will be to study, etc. Be open about the fact that you feel behind b/c of your year off, but are trying to catch up. Ask for advice from your co-residents and from any faculty who are understanding to your situation. Volunteer for didactic presentations which will help you target your studying to given topics.

Keep your head up. Even one good day in the clinic where you rock a few pimp questions can boost your confidence again. From what you have described, this doesn't sound to me to be an irreversible course. I think you just need some redirection at this point. I think if your program sees that you are trying hard, working hard and you aren't a jerk to work with, you should be ok. Everyone has sucky days as a resident, but don't let it totally beat you up. You must be smart or you would not be in this field

 

[Adjuvant]

Sounds like the year off hurt you. But I think that it would hurt almost anyone. The important thing is how you deal with it and it at least sounds like you are trying.

As you study for your H&N rotation, focus on the basics first and don't get lost in the minutia until you have mastered the basics. Use the blue book and the Wiki site, memorize the bullet-point type factoids and familiarize yourself with the key studies. Know the anatomy. Once you feel comfortable with the big picture, then delve into the individual studies in detail.

I would meet with your H&N attending now to develop a plan. Ask them what the expectations for the rotation will be, what good resources will be to study, etc. Be open about the fact that you feel behind b/c of your year off, but are trying to catch up. Ask for advice from your co-residents and from any faculty who are understanding to your situation. Volunteer for didactic presentations which will help you target your studying to given topics.

Keep your head up. Even one good day in the clinic where you rock a few pimp questions can boost your confidence again. From what you have described, this doesn't sound to me to be an irreversible course. I think you just need some redirection at this point. I think if your program sees that you are trying hard, working hard and you aren't a jerk to work with, you should be ok. Everyone has sucky days as a resident, but don't let it totally beat you up. You must be smart or you would not be in this field

Thank you very much.

You are right. I was away one year and after I was back I was still away from clinics and Rad Onc another year

Anyway... One reason that I have lost my confidence is that the last rotation I was doing Breast and Lung...

I believed that I have studies the basics for those. But how come I missed a very basic point such as 'lung board' or 'fractionation'?!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Now I know that when I study a site I have to go through all planning detail such as positioning, review images, devices... fractionation.

But then I think what else do I miss that I don't know.

 

[Adjuvant]

two more questions if you have time:

1- I was thinking maybe I am lucky if my next evaluator doesn't know about my background and maybe that makes things easier for me.
But sounds like you believe it's better to go and talk to him upfront openly about my defecit.

2-bullet type factoid... would you give me examples... :{

Sounds like the year off hurt you. But I think that it would hurt almost anyone. The important thing is how you deal with it and it at least sounds like you are trying.

As you study for your H&N rotation, focus on the basics first and don't get lost in the minutia until you have mastered the basics. Use the blue book and the Wiki site, memorize the bullet-point type factoids and familiarize yourself with the key studies. Know the anatomy. Once you feel comfortable with the big picture, then delve into the individual studies in detail.

I would meet with your H&N attending now to develop a plan. Ask them what the expectations for the rotation will be, what good resources will be to study, etc. Be open about the fact that you feel behind b/c of your year off, but are trying to catch up. Ask for advice from your co-residents and from any faculty who are understanding to your situation. Volunteer for didactic presentations which will help you target your studying to given topics.

Keep your head up. Even one good day in the clinic where you rock a few pimp questions can boost your confidence again. From what you have described, this doesn't sound to me to be an irreversible course. I think you just need some redirection at this point. I think if your program sees that you are trying hard, working hard and you aren't a jerk to work with, you should be ok. Everyone has sucky days as a resident, but don't let it totally beat you up. You must be smart or you would not be in this field

 

[nod]

sorry to hear about your situation. the evaluation seems pretty tough on you. the examples you gave of things you did not know, i do not know either, and i am also at the end of my second rad onc year. they sounds like very detail oriented knowledge that you could look up and learn for the boards, or pick up after you have been doing this for a while.

for bullet points, the blue book really covers the key points. as you prep for each patient, you can pick up more of the details you need.

it sounds like everything has really taken a toll on your confidence, but i think you are probably doing okay considering you were away for two years from rad onc. i don't think it is a bad idea to just tell your next attending that this is your first head and neck rotation, and you were away from rad onc for two years, so you realize you are not exactly at the level you would like to be, but you are going to work very hard.

 

[Adjuvant]

sorry to hear about your situation. the evaluation seems pretty tough on you. the examples you gave of things you did not know, i do not know either, and i am also at the end of my second rad onc year. they sounds like very detail oriented knowledge that you could look up and learn for the boards, or pick up after you have been doing this for a while.

for bullet points, the blue book really covers the key points. as you prep for each patient, you can pick up more of the details you need.

it sounds like everything has really taken a toll on your confidence, but i think you are probably doing okay considering you were away for two years from rad onc. i don't think it is a bad idea to just tell your next attending that this is your first head and neck rotation, and you were away from rad onc for two years, so you realize you are not exactly at the level you would like to be, but you are going to work very hard.

Thanks Nod.

This is for the first time that I feel I am losing my self-confidence and it's difficult...

As I mentioned I am a visible minority. But I am not sure if it does to do anything with that.

I just want to stop this cycle...

 

[iradi8u]

Thanks Nod.

This is for the first time that I feel I am losing my self-confidence and it's difficult...

As I mentioned I am a visible minority. But I am not sure if it does to do anything with that.

I just want to stop this cycle...

It does sound like you've lost a lot of your confidence, and that can be a HUGE problem to overcome. Rather than approaching a situation as though you have the answer and just need to find it, you're likely to panic and think something like, "Oh no - I don't know this and will look like an idiot," which invariably becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy. I've been there.

I think Napoleon's advice about a beach is excellent. A little time to de-stress and then to re-prioritize may be just what you need. You are not inadequate - pretty much impossible to make it this far if you were. You may not be the top resident in your program, but you must have some serious abilities to have gotten to this point.

I say take a mini-vacay, spend a day just chilling, a day focusing on your strengths, and the rest of the time recharging your self esteem. I doubt focusing on your perceived inadequacies or poor reviews is doing much of anything to help you -- so look forward.

Best wishes, and hang in there!

 

[Adjuvant]

It does sound like you've lost a lot of your confidence, and that can be a HUGE problem to overcome. Rather than approaching a situation as though you have the answer and just need to find it, you're likely to panic and think something like, "Oh no - I don't know this and will look like an idiot," which invariably becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy. I've been there.

I think Napoleon's advice about a beach is excellent. A little time to de-stress and then to re-prioritize may be just what you need. You are not inadequate - pretty much impossible to make it this far if you were. You may not be the top resident in your program, but you must have some serious abilities to have gotten to this point.

I say take a mini-vacay, spend a day just chilling, a day focusing on your strengths, and the rest of the time recharging your self esteem. I doubt focusing on your perceived inadequacies or poor reviews is doing much of anything to help you -- so look forward.

Best wishes, and hang in there!

Thanks Iradi.

You are right. And that's very atypical for me. For my whole life I have been recognized as somebody with good confidence... But that has happened now. And to be honest what I need is a good supporting evaluation! Which sounds like impossible to get....

 

[stlo]

I think your perceived lack of self-confidence could be going a long way towards making small mistakes...

There was one attending whom I was very intimidated by my first two years of residency just because he was so incredibly intelligent; I felt like every time I opened my mouth around him, something stupid came out, and my evaluations from him were mediocre. I promised myself that for my 3rd year rotation I was going to put that mindset out of my head, work my butt off to be prepared, and think positively and know that I was smart and good at what I did (sounds silly, I know) - but, it worked. And he noticed, and told me how much improved he thought I was. He and I have a great working relationship now. Sometimes getting out of your own way is the hardest and most important thing you can do. Good luck.

 

[Adjuvant]

I think your perceived lack of self-confidence could be going a long way towards making small mistakes...

There was one attending whom I was very intimidated by my first two years of residency just because he was so incredibly intelligent; I felt like every time I opened my mouth around him, something stupid came out, and my evaluations from him were mediocre. I promised myself that for my 3rd year rotation I was going to put that mindset out of my head, work my butt off to be prepared, and think positively and know that I was smart and good at what I did (sounds silly, I know) - but, it worked. And he noticed, and told me how much improved he thought I was. He and I have a great working relationship now. Sometimes getting out of your own way is the hardest and most important thing you can do. Good luck.

Thanks.

I actually tried in the last rotation. I was confident with breast and lung and I thought thatshould be a chance to prove myself which unfortunately didn't happen.

If I just could have a good plan form my H&N rotation...

 

[Dillatar]

Turn that frown upside down! Time to get clutch and show them just what kind of stuff you're made of. All the previous posters are right: you made it through undergrad, you made it through med school and you performed well enough to get into a very competitive residency. You have what it takes to make this happen. Dig deep and show your attendings that you are truly a confident and knowledgeable doctor.

 

[Adjuvant]

Turn that frown upside down! Time to get clutch and show them just what kind of stuff you're made of. All the previous posters are right: you made it through undergrad, you made it through med school and you performed well enough to get into a very competitive residency. You have what it takes to make this happen. Dig deep and show your attendings that you are truly a confident and knowledgeable doctor.

Thank you Dillatar.

Keep your fingers crossed for me.

 

[Adjuvant]

I should know what is my problem and what am I lacking....

 

[Radonc90]

1. Go to bed at the latest 11 PM. Good sleep helps.

2. Address every new consult as if you are an internist or surgeon. This gives you a "big picture" perspective.

3. Talk to your PD or Chair.

4. Discuss this with other fellow residents for help.

The good thing is that you share your problems with people, this helps. People who hide their problems have bigger issues to deal with.

Nasty attendings are everywhere, just try to strike a balance.

PS: When dealing with new topics, write down the highlights of that topic:
- Dose/Fx
- Important studies such as RTOG etc.

Nobody expects you to know every study out there. But you must know the key studies that transformed medicine.

 

[Adjuvant]

Thank you very much. I appreciate all advices.

In our program residents are a bit isolated and not really willing to help... That's unfortunate...

I tried hard for my previous rotation... didn't really work... I should try again...

Thanks

1. Go to bed at the latest 11 PM. Good sleep helps.

2. Address every new consult as if you are an internist or surgeon. This gives you a "big picture" perspective.

3. Talk to your PD or Chair.

4. Discuss this with other fellow residents for help.

The good thing is that you share your problems with people, this helps. People who hide their problems have bigger issues to deal with.

Nasty attendings are everywhere, just try to strike a balance.

 

[Adjuvant]

1. Go to bed at the latest 11 PM. Good sleep helps.

2. Address every new consult as if you are an internist or surgeon. This gives you a "big picture" perspective.

3. Talk to your PD or Chair.

4. Discuss this with other fellow residents for help.

The good thing is that you share your problems with people, this helps. People who hide their problems have bigger issues to deal with.

Nasty attendings are everywhere, just try to strike a balance.

PS: When dealing with new topics, write down the highlights of that topic:
- Dose/Fx
- Important studies such as RTOG etc.

Nobody expects you to know every study out there. But you must know the key studies that transformed medicine.

You are right... I think in my breast/lung rotation; that was one of my mistakes. I digged into everything from epidemiology/ anatomy/ pathology/ approach until treatment and Radiation. But when I reached XRT, I didn't memorize learned simple must know things such as dose/fx immobilization devices,,,

At least that's one thing I know I should fix.

 

[Adjuvant]

I have been told that I may need extend my residency...

The staff told me that going to be PGY-3 I will be under lots of stress and it's impossible for me to do it satisfactory ((((((((((

They may extend my residency 6 months... My PGY-2...

I am so sad...

 

[Taurus]

I have been told that I may need extend my residency...

The staff told me that going to be PGY-4 I will be under lots of stress and it's impossible for me to do it satisfactory ((((((((((

They may extend my residency 6 months... My PGY-3...

I am so sad...

Sorry to hear that, but look on the bright side. They're working with you and allowing you to extend your residency. Some malignant programs would have already shown you the door by now.

 

[Dillatar]

It's good to hear that they are at least working with you. Now, I'm going to try to address a potential problem as sensitively as possible.

I've noticed that your posts are written in broken English. Obviously English is not your first language. To be an effective doctor in the states you need a command of the English language. Is it possible that there is a communication breach that is occurring either in written, reading, or verbal communication? Maybe all of the above? Perhaps this is making it difficult on your residency. Then again, maybe not. You've made it this far and language barriers haven't seemed to stop you.

It's just one thing to possibly address and improve upon.

Best of luck!

 

[cleothecat]

The extension may be a blessing in disguise.
It demonstrates the programs commitment to your success. If you add a 6 month mini-fellowship on to it, it will add to your confidence and expertise.

 

[Adjuvant]

It's good to hear that they are at least working with you. Now, I'm going to try to address a potential problem as sensitively as possible.

I've noticed that your posts are written in broken English. Obviously English is not your first language. To be an effective doctor in the states you need a command of the English language. Is it possible that there is a communication breach that is occurring either in written, reading, or verbal communication? Maybe all of the above? Perhaps this is making it difficult on your residency. Then again, maybe not. You've made it this far and language barriers haven't seemed to stop you.

It's just one thing to possibly address and improve upon.



Best of luck!

Thank you for your comment. And thank you very much as you brought it up really in a nice way.

You are right. English is not my first language. I am sorry for my 'broken' English. :{

Defenitely that's one thing... But obviously there is more to that.

What makes me so nervous and upset is that I am worried maybe I can't fix my problem in 6 months.

I appreciate the program help. It is just so unusual for me.

I always worked less than average and gained and reached much more than average.

I never ever worked hard without reaching anything significant...

That's why I am confused, lost my confidence and keep thinking what if I can't reach where I should reach in 6 months.

I also have a young child... ( the main reason for my leave ) .... Things are getting so difficult for me..

I appreciate all comments, helps...

 

[goodluck888]

Sorry to hear about your story. I am wondering whether you got academic probation before they decide to extend your residency. Sb said academic probation may affect future job hunting. Not sure whether it is true or not. Curious about any comments on academic probation.

 

[Adjuvant]

Sorry to hear about your story. I am wondering whether you got academic probation before they decide to extend your residency. Sb said academic probation may affect future job hunting. Not sure whether it is true or not. Curious about any comments on academic probation.

I never had such a thing.
Wondering if this extension does the same thing to me...(

 

[Scatter]

Hi Adjuvant,

From one ESL kid to another, you need to work on being more confident in your abilities. It just may be that your "I can't ... I'm worried ... I'm sad ..." spin on things is becoming a self-fulfilling prophecy. So, get rid of these automatic negative thoughts (ANTs), work hard, learn and run your own race without harping so much on what others think about you.

 

[Adjuvant]

Hi Adjuvant,

From one ESL kid to another, you need to work on being more confident in your abilities. It just may be that your "I can't ... I'm worried ... I'm sad ..." spin on things is becoming a self-fulfilling prophecy. So, get rid of these automatic negative thoughts (ANTs), work hard, learn and run your own race without harping so much on what others think about you.

Thanks for the comment.

You are right.

But this shows how big is the responsibility and the role of a teacher or a staff. They can VERY EASILY make you feel miserable.

Actually, the first staff who just started the whole storm with me in the first day told me : " I want you to feel miserable in the next weeks. "

I think he did a very good job.

 

[PharmaTope]

I never had such a thing.
Wondering if this extension does the same thing to me...(

nah people need you, heck your program is willing to work with you vs trying to force you out immediately.

tough it out, you can do it. you made it this far. think about it, patients out there need your expertise. the program just wants you to meet the requirements and maybe get a little more out of you. it is a test. just do your best.

 

[Adjuvant]

nah people need you, heck your program is willing to work with you vs trying to force you out immediately.

tough it out, you can do it. you made it this far. think about it, patients out there need your expertise. the program just wants you to meet the requirements and maybe get a little more out of you. it is a test. just do your best.

Thank you. I am working hard... That's all I can do... I feel a bit better these days. I had a chat with our PD. Even though he is a very tough person he was very supportive...
He said, I should be bright enough to be able to make this. The main thing is having a plan and "know" that I don't know so then it's just the matter of time and studying...

I don't know... I guess it does go to the committee and it's not only my PD who decides but we will see...

I am off for a week and then I will start H&N... I am studying for now...

 

[PharmaTope]

Thank you. I am working hard... That's all I can do... I feel a bit better these days. I had a chat with our PD. Even though he is a very tough person he was very supportive...
He said, I should be bright enough to be able to make this. The main thing is having a plan and "know" that I don't know so then it's just the matter of time and studying...

I don't know... I guess it does go to the committee and it's not only my PD who decides but we will see...

I am off for a week and then I will start H&N... I am studying for now...

just do your best man. honestly you cannot succeed unless you fail. that is just a matter of life. so maybe you messing up a little bit is going to make you awesome in the long-run. i hope you kick ass!!!!

keep us posted.

 

[Adjuvant]

just do your best man. honestly you cannot succeed unless you fail. that is just a matter of life. so maybe you messing up a little bit is going to make you awesome in the long-run. i hope you kick ass!!!!

keep us posted.

Thank you very much... Everyone.

Will let you know....

 

[Adjuvant]

I will go through hell and I am not sure if I can even get out of this after 6 months...

 

[PharmaTope]

I will go through hell and I am not sure if I can even get out of this after 6 months...

why what happened?

 

[Adjuvant]

why what happened?

remediation...

I have already started my H&N rotation and it's going well so far!

I am so upset... I don't think I deserve this... just bad luck! If I was with a more reasonable staff I didn't get borderline evaluation...

Anyway... I don't think I have any choice... I should just try to go through this stressful period...

 

[Old rad onc]

Adjuvant,

I read with sadness your posts. I am a rad onc who graduated 15 tears ago. I am in private practice but have always had a heart for residents as I remember the challenge of mine. So let me give you a little advice and encouragement. Try not to take all of this so personally. You are obviously bright or you would not have gotten in to the field or graduated med school.

Next, keep your perspective. You are in a small fish tank but in the future you will have many more choices. The fish currently harassing you will not be over you forever. You need to tough it out. Things will get better in the future!

Lastly, what you are going through is a game of sorts. You have not quite figured out what your attending want. It really is not just about studying more. Anticipate their questions. Don't be so depressed. At some point soon it will be over. Rad Onc is the best specialty. I had my moments of misery in residency and in practice. But I love my work and career. It has been incredible! Better than I ever imagined. ......

Hope this helps.....

 

[Adjuvant]

Adjuvant,

I read with sadness your posts. I am a rad onc who graduated 15 tears ago. I am in private practice but have always had a heart for residents as I remember the challenge of mine. So let me give you a little advice and encouragement. Try not to take all of this so personally. You are obviously bright or you would not have gotten in to the field or graduated med school.

Next, keep your perspective. You are in a small fish tank but in the future you will have many more choices. The fish currently harassing you will not be over you forever. You need to tough it out. Things will get better in the future!

Lastly, what you are going through is a game of sorts. You have not quite figured out what your attending want. It really is not just about studying more. Anticipate their questions. Don't be so depressed. At some point soon it will be over. Rad Onc is the best specialty. I had my moments of misery in residency and in practice. But I love my work and career. It has been incredible! Better than I ever imagined. ......

Hope this helps.....

I appreciate your support and comment... THANK YOU.

I try... I am trying my best...

thanks.

 

[RadGoat]

Hi Adjuvant, I'm sorry to hear that things aren't going so well. I hope they are improving.

In addition to all the good advice here I would recommend getting in touch with a therapist or counselor at your institution. Residency is very stressful for most of us and I think it can be very helpful to talk to someone who has some understanding of these stresses and is removed from your situation. Almost all universities have a free and anonymous counseling service that exists for people in your situation, students and employees who often do not have a clinical depression or other disorder, just folks who are having work or life related stresses or difficulties. Even if you think it will be a waste of time and can't possibly help, I would still encourage you to make at least one appointment.

 

[SupraRadOnc]

you can NEVER lose your self confidence or self-esteem.

Hope this helps:

http://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/authors/m/michael_jordan.html

if you're having trouble impressing someone, may I can suggest a book to you, msg me. Works on anyone, not just the girls! ; ))

self-confidence is ALWAYS at the core. Look how far you come, people will kill to be in your shoes, you have to be mentally strong about it, you were on top of the food chain to get in, so being intelligent enough isn't the issue.

Go to the gym and go running. Your brain is sleeping, wake it up!