Post your boring, nonsense shifts!

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CMGs are greedy but not stupid. They know exactly what types of patients are being seen and how many of them are being discharged home. That's why most community shops are switching to "provider teams" with 1 MD and 2 NPs for staffing. Why pay for doctors when you can get the same coverage with nurses to see mostly non emergency patients with the occasional emergency patients during most of your shifts.

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I guess I just don't understand your comment. Like what is the chance of that happening kind of thing? Pretty damn rare.

Technically she's had three episodes over the last year when her left hand went clumsy for about 1 hour.

I almost didn't scan her, because she doesn't have an emergency. She had time to get the superior study which would have been an MRI. I did it thinking maybe she has some weird small mass that was causing transient simple partial seizures. But ultimately, I scanned her because she has public insurance, and her getting any imaging what-so-ever would have taken weeks if not longer...and her pediatrician is useless for sending her to the ED anyway. So what was I going to do....do nothing and send her back to her pediatrician?

It is so hard to find doctors that do the right thing. In all fields actually...unless you are a doctor that takes care of established diagnoses. Like "You have a diagnosis of appendicitis. I didn't make it. Someone else did. I'll take care of it."
That's a cool case!

Couple of random thoughts:

1) I think you absolutely did the right thing, and I would probably have done the same for the same reasons.

2) Super interesting that the localization pans out (assuming it was the more medial part of the central sulcus), but not sure about what actually caused the symptoms. Intermittent symptoms from a fixed lesion are kind of weird, so maybe those were seizures after all. Also possible that there may have been very small bleeding episodes, particularly if there was a co-existing AVM, in which case you may have saved her from a catastrophic bleed. I am assuming you did not do vessel imaging before transferring? Would be interesting to know what that showed.

3) Incidence is a funny thing. Yes, they are rare, but we all see things that are technically very rare all the time. Clumsiness (as opposed to numbness or tingling) would have caught my eye as a bit of a red flag, so would definitely caution blowing that off.
 
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Agree. I find that talking people out of an I+D takes as much time as just doing one. Plus, it's good money.

Abscess I+D = 1.22 wRVU if simple. It's 2.45 wRVU if complex (pro tip: any abscess which requires blunt/sharp dissection to break up loculations is complex. Same with any abscess where you place a wick).

I also almost always use US to localize and confirm the abscess. If your shop records images, that's another 0.67 wRVU for the US.

Seeing the patient and doing the Rx gets you a lvl 3 chart. That's 1.6 wRVU.
Seeing the patient and doing the I+D gets you 4.72 wRVU (lvl3 chart + US + I+D). That's more than a lvl 5 chart.

Hmm...I believe the numbers...however I think the hassle is an underestimation. it's still an absolute hassle for me to do all that stuff. Waiting for the nurse to get lidocaine, for pharm to approve it, finding the US, fitting it into the room (our rooms are small), then you are diverted...then this...then that...then the patient isn't ready or it hurts too much....the pt is in the ER for almost 2 hours when I can get them out in 5 minutes.

Mind you this is for smaller ones (or ones that could be phlegmons). For me the hassle is not worth the money.
 
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CMGs are greedy but not stupid. They know exactly what types of patients are being seen and how many of them are being discharged home. That's why most community shops are switching to "provider teams" with 1 MD and 2 NPs for staffing. Why pay for doctors when you can get the same coverage with nurses to see mostly non emergency patients with the occasional emergency patients during most of your shifts.

Yup. Their behavior is easily explained.
 
That's a cool case!

Couple of random thoughts:

1) I think you absolutely did the right thing, and I would probably have done the same for the same reasons.

2) Super interesting that the localization pans out (assuming it was the more medial part of the central sulcus), but not sure about what actually caused the symptoms. Intermittent symptoms from a fixed lesion are kind of weird, so maybe those were seizures after all. Also possible that there may have been very small bleeding episodes, particularly if there was a co-existing AVM, in which case you may have saved her from a catastrophic bleed. I am assuming you did not do vessel imaging before transferring? Would be interesting to know what that showed.

3) Incidence is a funny thing. Yes, they are rare, but we all see things that are technically very rare all the time. Clumsiness (as opposed to numbness or tingling) would have caught my eye as a bit of a red flag, so would definitely caution blowing that off.

The localization totally pans out ... it covered a medium sized area. The coronals which I didn't post showed it to be not small.

I don't know what caused her symptom - maybe AVMs just irritate the glial cells on occasion. Seizures, micro bleeds, not sure.

I didn't get vessel imaging - largely because she was asymptomatic.
 
Hmm...I believe the numbers...however I think the hassle is an underestimation. it's still an absolute hassle for me to do all that stuff. Waiting for the nurse to get lidocaine, for pharm to approve it, finding the US, fitting it into the room (our rooms are small), then you are diverted...then this...then that...then the patient isn't ready or it hurts too much....the pt is in the ER for almost 2 hours when I can get them out in 5 minutes.

Mind you this is for smaller ones (or ones that could be phlegmons). For me the hassle is not worth the money.
Therein lies your problem. Staff should have that all ready for you. Lidocaine from pharmacy? Ugh. Abscess I&D patient in and out in 15 minutes. They are super quick.
 
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I have the same problem.
My RNs do NOT understand "clean, prep, and assemble the gear".
Same, never worked anywhere (8 facilities) where nurses do this. Even 30 second procedures take a long time to wrangle all the equipment (something always not stocked).

We can do procedures in the ER but we have nowhere near the efficiency of full time procedure suites/ORs and staff. Surgeon shows up and it’s time to inject/cut. In the ER you are your own scrub nurse/instrument tech/first assist/anesthetist.
 
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Hmm...I believe the numbers...however I think the hassle is an underestimation. it's still an absolute hassle for me to do all that stuff. Waiting for the nurse to get lidocaine, for pharm to approve it, finding the US, fitting it into the room (our rooms are small), then you are diverted...then this...then that...then the patient isn't ready or it hurts too much....the pt is in the ER for almost 2 hours when I can get them out in 5 minutes.

Mind you this is for smaller ones (or ones that could be phlegmons). For me the hassle is not worth the money.
If it legit takes that long in your shop, I totally get it. That said it has taken ~15 min max to do an I+D as above in every shop I've worked in. Some places the tech would set everything up and bring the US machine into the room and let me know when ready. My current shop, the techs don't do that, but they do stock a suture cart which has lido, needles, syringes, scalpels etc. I simply wheel that into the room with me and the US machine.

Hell, my first attending gig had an order in epic for "set up for laceration repair" that the tech would see and then go do.

Getting your shop to come around to that way of doing things might get some pushback initially, but things tend to get done when you frame it as "this person getting paid $20/hr can do this stuff just as well as I can, and I can keep making the hospital more money while they're doing it."
 
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This is the beauty of a SDG that coordinates well with the hospital. We can bring data to hospital admin showing things like having supplies readily available and set up by staff decreases LOS puts more patients into beds, which equals more money. They in turn put pressure on nursing admin to help us increase efficiency. You also have to have the respect of nursing staff who is willing to help you move patients. I don’t doubt that some places struggle with this, but it doesn’t have to be that way.
 
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Same, never worked anywhere (8 facilities) where nurses do this. Even 30 second procedures take a long time to wrangle all the equipment (something always not stocked).

We can do procedures in the ER but we have nowhere near the efficiency of full time procedure suites/ORs and staff. Surgeon shows up and it’s time to inject/cut. In the ER you are your own scrub nurse/instrument tech/first assist/anesthetist.
Since we’ve had critical staffing shortage for over a year, I am used to doing minor procedures in a curtained area that’s not staffed, a doorway , etc … My biggest complaint would be the time needed to beg a nurse to pull lidocaine. Someone always will; it’s just I can gather the rest of the stuff in 10 seconds and that part ends up being 5 minutes of wandering around looking for someone that isn’t busy. I understand jcaho feels threatened by “meds” being unlocked, but realistically as a physician able to prescribe any legal medication, I should be able to obtain the medicines too. I have been lobbying for access to topical/Oral non controlled substances for six months without success. It would make me feel better about seeing patients in the waiting room if I could offer Tylenol or ODT zofran.
I do agree about just getting the I&D done if possible. If there’s a 2/3 chance someone will have to come back, that’s pretty crappy. Will the pcp do it ? Will the urgent care do it? Maybe , but maybe not, and they’re busy too. I also strongly dislike the PLP tactic of ordering a bunch of unnecessary lab work to push off the procedure.
 
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Same, never worked anywhere (8 facilities) where nurses do this. Even 30 second procedures take a long time to wrangle all the equipment (something always not stocked).

We can do procedures in the ER but we have nowhere near the efficiency of full time procedure suites/ORs and staff. Surgeon shows up and it’s time to inject/cut. In the ER you are your own scrub nurse/instrument tech/first assist/anesthetist.

That's basically the way it is. Even doing pelvics...I want the pt covered in the lithotomy position when I enter the room. I would probably do more pelvics (although not that many more :) ) if this were the case.

Remember though that I only do this for stupid small abscesses. If I expect to get 5cc or more of pus...I end up doing it.
 
I do agree about just getting the I&D done if possible. If there’s a 2/3 chance someone will have to come back, that’s pretty crappy. Will the pcp do it ? Will the urgent care do it? Maybe , but maybe not, and they’re busy too. I also strongly dislike the PLP tactic of ordering a bunch of unnecessary lab work to push off the procedure.

I have a fantasy that one day the ER will be used only for emergencies or reasonable-perceived emergencies, and not for convenient care.

All abscesses that can be drained under local anesthesia can be one by Urgent Care. Or the PCP.

UC can't get all the easy, one off cases where you spend 2 minutes with the patient, Rx prednisone, albuterol, and a z-pack; or Rx zofran; or Rx cefadroxil....and make $50. It's not fair.
 
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I have a fantasy that one day the ER will be used only for emergencies or reasonable-perceived emergencies, and not for convenient care.

All abscesses that can be drained under local anesthesia can be one by Urgent Care. Or the PCP.

UC can't get all the easy, one off cases where you spend 2 minutes with the patient, Rx prednisone, albuterol, and a z-pack; or Rx zofran; or Rx cefadroxil....and make $50. It's not fair.
I’ll see all the urgent care in the world if you spare me these group home dumps and disposition nightmares.
 
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Most of these were seen with residents:

1.) 27 F, non-displaced wrist FX, splint and D/C to see ortho outpatient
2.) 67 M. AECHF. Admit to hospitalist
3.) 80 F. Cellulitis with outpatient treatment failure, admit to hospitalist
4.) 45 F. Bee sting to finger. D/C
5.) 28 F. Flank pain, hx of Ehlers-Danlos, on Coumadin for recurrent DVT's. Confirmed stone, D/C to see urology outpatient
6.) 24 F. Suspected Polysubstance OD. Monitored to end of shift per poison control. sign out to day team for psych placement
7.) 55 M. Fell 2 days ago w/ pain on ambulating. negative imaging. D/C with lidocaine patches
8.) 3 M. Asthma Exacerbation. Txfer to Childrens Hospital obs unit (no inpatient peds)
9.) 2 F. GI bug. Zofran, PO challenge, D/C
10.) 67 F. Acute psychosis. D/C to Geri-Psych facility
11.) 45 M. Anxiety/Insomnia, still grieving loss of wife from 4 years ago. D/C to follow up with their existing psych and stay with sister
12.) 47 F. "Nose Pain". Likely pimple. D/C (solo)
13.) 45 F. Well-known frequent flyer, C/O thrush and sinus drainage. D/C with flonase and nystatin
14.) 55 F. Breakthrough pseudo seizure. Keppra and D/C to see neurology
15.) 65 M. N/V after eating hotdogs and Brussels sprouts. D/C with zofran (solo)
16.) 50 M. Intoxicated w/ CP. Metabolize to freedom
17.) 60 F. Intoxicated for their daily visit, now has neck pain, lidoderm patch and D/C
18.) 55 M. UTI. D/C
19.) 29 M. Chest pain. Neg workup and D/C
20.) 87 M. ALOC, looks like stroke, will only say "help me" and "chest pain." Workup overall negative. BAC of .362 (wife says "he only had a glass of wine!"). Possible cholecystitis/cholelithiasis. signed to day team for US and reconsult surgery.
21-22.) 40F and 42M. URI symptoms and male also has flank pain. Both COVID (+), he has a kidney stone (solo)
23.) 19M. Eloped day before after COVID test. Came back for results. D/C
 
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6 hours in to my night shift so far. Bored and just relaxing essentially.

This is what a good rural night shift is like. Can get rough sometimes though, but it’s rare.

1) 2 year old URI. Immediate discharge with ibuprofen/tylenol.
2) 60 ish wheelchair bound cancer patient with a fairly early pressure ulcer. Daughter was struggling to care for him, he needed a nursing home but just wanted something for pain and wanted to go home with no work up. Norco and discharge.
3) 2 year old with pneumonia. Chest xray then discharge.
4) 89 year old with colitis. Sepsis work up and admitted.
5) 2 year old with some bug bites and early cellulitis. Discharged with antibiotics.
6) 70 ish year old cancer patient, covid, uti, generalized weakness and inability to care for self. Waiting for work to finish before i admit him.

That’s it so far. Probably will see another 2 or so patients in the remaining 6 hours of my shift.
 
That's basically the way it is. Even doing pelvics...I want the pt covered in the lithotomy position when I enter the room. I would probably do more pelvics (although not that many more :) ) if this were the case.

Remember though that I only do this for stupid small abscesses. If I expect to get 5cc or more of pus...I end up doing it.
Yep, this is why I really try to avoid pelvics. Just too hard to wrangle the equipment find an available chaperone…not worth it for minimal clinical information.
 
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I am really enjoying reading these. It is actually somewhat validating and comforting to know that all of you see the same absolute flaming hot garbage that I do!
I am fairly new out of residency and I wouldn’t say I’ve reached the point yet where I’m super comfortable DCing with no workup especially things like belly pain or vague neuro/visual symptoms. But I think I am headed in the right direction.
 
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Yep, this is why I really try to avoid pelvics. Just too hard to wrangle the equipment find an available chaperone…not worth it for minimal clinical information.
Most useless exam in all of medicine. Most of the time...
 
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7pm-7am. Submitted for your disapproval.



57 F: 5 day history of abd.pain with bloody diarrhea. Right-sided colitis. Cipro/Flagyl. Admitted.

46 M: Stage-4 Renal Cell CA w/ widespread mets. Septic AF. Family thinks that the chemo-fairy will cure him and they will all live happily ever after. Admitted.

23 F: 2 days of first-trimester bleeding. Yesterday's HCG = 9. Today's HCG = 9. DC.

80 F: Concerned about hypertension. Brings three pages of BP logs*. Highest SBP = 162. DC.

13 M: 2 days of post-nasal drip and helicopter parenting. This poor kid will never get laid. DC.

84 M: A-fib/RVR for 3 hours. "Feels just like my A-fib/RVR." Thanks for that. Admitted.

61 M: End-stage HCC on hospice with abdominal pain. Wants ascites drained. My abdomen is bigger after eating Taco Bell. Not today, amigo. DC.

5 F: Sniffles for a day. Jesus Christ, your mom is fat. DC.

40 M: Kidney stone. Again. He's right. DC.

37 F: +3 Baking bread edema to bilateral feet. Shoes too small for patient. Anxious about DVT. DC.

39 F: I have COVID. Yes, you do - and those tattoos are never going away. DC.

27 F: I have COVID. Yes, you do - "Gorgeous bullnose septal piercing", said no man ever. DC.

82 M: Abdominal pain of unclear duration. Demented AF. No abdominal pain. DC.

18 M: Lip laceration after being punched with brass knuckles. Asks for "glue" because he's afraid of sutures. With facial tattoos. Repaired. DC.

77 F: COPD exacerbation. Looks like a piranha plant from the Super Mario Brothers games with a cigarette for the stem. Somehow. Admitted.

67 F: "My allergies are worse today." Have you tried shutting your flytrap?" Your husband will be happier. DC.

69 M: Parkinson's Disease with persecutory hallucinations. LAMPSHADE KOMBAT! Don't give opioids to PD patients, kids. Admitted.

47 F: T. U. R. B. O. - B. O. N. K. E. R. S. DC.

14 F: Epigastric pain. Thunderfart on KUB. DC.

85 M: CHF exacerbation. Admitted.

67 M: Slip-and-fall. Rib pain. X-ray normal. DC.


* - WHY is it that when these boomers bring BP logs; they always use strangely-sized stationery or other things generally unfit for this purpose (CVS receipts, etc) and not standard-sized paper?!
 
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I forgot one:

91 F. Sepsis/resp.fail. EMS says "full code" Intubated. COVID+. Daughter arrives with DNR form 30.min later. Extubated. Hospice.
 
would love to see a shift from England, Switzerland, or some other country where we perceive better stewardship and intelligence over personal health and health care resource utilization.
 
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would love to see a shift from England, Switzerland, or some other country where we perceive better stewardship and intelligence over personal health and health care resource utilization.
Didn't someone from New Zealand post one earlier in this thread? Maybe I was imagining it, but I recall it was composed of mostly things that could at least be construed as an emergency.

@RustedFox lol at 'baking bread edema'! Ma'am, you don't have a DVT, but unfortunately you're basically a sourdough starter at this point.
 
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Didn't someone from New Zealand post one earlier in this thread? Maybe I was imagining it, but I recall it was composed of mostly things that could at least be construed as an emergency.

@RustedFox lol at 'baking bread edema'! Ma'am, you don't have a DVT, but unfortunately you're basically a sourdough starter at this point.

Fat and neurotic is a dangerous combination.
 
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Driving home.

Ten. Days. Off.
Damn I haven’t had 10 days in a row off in 3 years. Honestly, the number of shifts I would have to do in a row later or before would be too painful.
 
would love to see a shift from England, Switzerland, or some other country where we perceive better stewardship and intelligence over personal health and health care resource utilization.
I know it’s fun to bash the typical fat lazy American patient on here (and sadly most is true) however I imagine these countries mentioned have the same issues. Maybe a lesser degree but I believe the fast track and inappropriate crap happens there as well. And for that matter the lazy and fat people exist there as well.

I know it’s not a great example but I watched a special on ER in Canada. A couple of the pts they chose to portray were complete bs, specifically a dude coming in the day after unprotected sex no symptoms/lesions asking if he had herpes.

If that were a rare event why pick that one to showcase?

Anyways I can’t say for sure but I am doubtful this is an isolated American issue.
 
I know it’s fun to bash the typical fat lazy American patient on here (and sadly most is true) however I imagine these countries mentioned have the same issues. Maybe a lesser degree but I believe the fast track and inappropriate crap happens there as well. And for that matter the lazy and fat people exist there as well.

I know it’s not a great example but I watched a special on ER in Canada. A couple of the pts they chose to portray were complete bs, specifically a dude coming in the day after unprotected sex no symptoms/lesions asking if he had herpes.

If that were a rare event why pick that one to showcase?

Anyways I can’t say for sure but I am doubtful this is an isolated American issue.
I can't speak to lazy, however we have the highest obesity rate among oecd members by a fair margin.
 
I can't speak to lazy, however we have the highest obesity rate among oecd members by a fair margin.
Agreed. But…obesity is not only an American problem..
Just like the ER being used for non emergent issues may be more in America but is certainly not only an American issue.
 
Won't post the whole shift, but this one doozy of a case.

20 something year old, saying 'hey doc, I can't see out of my left eye, everything's blurry for the last 30 minutes, I tried to put my contact lens in and accidentally poked myself in the eye and can't see'.

I look at his eyeball closely to put some tetracaine in there, notice the contact lens is still there. I tell him to remove it, says 'there's no contact lens in there, I took it out already...' After reminding him multiple times I can clearly see a contact lens in there, the guy finally removes it.

Out comes not one, but 2 contact lenses, one on top of the other, attached.

"I can see so much better doc"....

Normally this would just get a chuckle out of me, but the ER was exploding with patients, some legit sick, so I was more ticked off than anything.
 
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Here you go ... a day shift (8a-4p) from New Zealand! Daily volume ~330 pts, I was the consultant supervising one of the three zones in the ED, one of two "monitored" pods of ~20 beds and 3 resuscitation bays with a team of 2 to 4 trainees (1 had to leave mid-shift d/t family emergency).

Handover
38 y/o paresthesia awaiting neurology consult, d/c
82 y/o undifferentiated abdominal pain, CT nondiagnostic, d/c
14 y/o escalating pelvic pain and vaginal bleeding, admit gynae
2 y/o unexplained hypoglycemia and ketosis in mild illness, admit peds obs

New Pts
77 y/o COPD family concerns over self-care, no indication for admission, d/c
79 y/o COPD and HF, grossly fluid overloaded, admit medicine
88 y/o pneumonia and delirium, admit medicine
73 y/o COPD and HF, improved, mild fluid overload, trial of outpatient diuretic, d/c [my patient]
39 y/o paroxysmal AF with RVR, rate control, d/c with cards f/u
81 y/o recent EVAR new leg swelling, U/S eval pseudoaneurysm -> seroma, d/c [my patient]
54 y/o 2:1 Aflutter, on sotalol, cards consult: sedation, DC cardioversion, d/c [my patient]
66 y/o renal transplant/BKA/SPC fever likely UTI, admit medicine
89 y/o chest pain/RUQ pain, labs normal, pain gone, d/c
71 y/o first seizure, CT head negative, remained altered, admit neurology
84 y/o likely diverticular bleed on clopidogrel, stable, admit surgery
41 y/o STEMI call from field, ECG normal, troponin normal, d/c [my patient]
54 y/o atraumatic knee pain, gout, d/c
74 y/o COPD exacerbation, improved, d/c
55 y/o chest pain, flank pain, back pain, UTI, d/c
82 y/o chest pain 8 hours PTA, troponin undetectable, d/c [my patient]
42 y/o transfer 20% 2nd degree burns, admit
76 y/o diarrhea and neutropenia on chemo, admit oncology
29 y/o DM1 feeling vaguely unwell, IVF, no objective findings, d/c
25 y/o cyclic vomiting, d/c
91 y/o abdominal pain 1 week after hemicolectomy, admit surgery
81 y/o prostate CA, obstructive lymphedema, AKI, admit oncology
89 y/o knee gave way, fall, no injury or objective findings, d/c
46 y/o atypical chest pain, d/c
79 y/o new onset afib RVR, rate control, d/c with cards f/u
24 y/o abdominal pain, biliary colic, not settling, admit surgery
65 y/o infective bronchiectasis, admit respiratory
72 y/o neutropenic fever, admit oncology
68 y/o isolated open tib/fib motorcycle accident, admit orthopedics
41 y/o neutropenic fever, admit oncology
20 y/o dysfunctional uterine bleeding, d/c
74 y/o afib AKI, anasarca, severe sepsis, DNR, admit medicine [my patient]
31 y/o gastroenteritis, d/c
57 y/o pelvic pain, dysfunctional uterine bleeding, d/c
72 y/o atraumatic foot pain, found hypoxic, new severe anemia, admit medicine
51 y/o COPD exacerbation, d/c

We also have a "fast track" area that sees minor complaints – the "why do I have this rash" and atraumatic ankle pain pain in a 23 y/o end up over there. We still have plenty folks who have difficulties accessing their GP, we're the urgent care for everyone once the practices close for the evening, and then there are a small cohort of the same folks with psychosocial issues.
 
44) 10 F with intermittent left hand weakness. Currently asymptomatic. Pediatrics sent in for a stroke workup. I said to family that was ridiculous...10 F don't really have strokes, it's like 1 in a million. CT head non-con did show a developmental venous anomaly over R central sulcus. Transferred to academic center with neurovascular.
View attachment 358253View attachment 358254

8 Year old girl in my primary school back in the 70s/early 80s, sitting on a bench eating lunch, sudden collapse, paralysed down one side, can't speak, ambulance called, diagnosed as stroke upon arrival to ED. Several years and a metric eff tonne of rehab later she made an almost complete recovery. Randomly ran into her when we were both in our 20s, only residual effects from the stroke were an almost imperceptible limp & some speech processing issues if she allowed herself to get too tired.

Also had a student in the same primary school year with some form of (presumably) bone cancer that was slowly eating her face away. They at least managed to do some sort of skin grafting and cranio-facial work for her, but it seemed like every time she went into hospital for surgery she came out with less of her face. Kids overall were very protective of her, surprisingly little bullying (although there was always the odd idiot who just had to say something), seemed very well adjusted despite her situation, and an excellent learning curve for the rest of us in regards to people with facial deformities/differences of appearance. Not sure what happened to her, but I would presume she passed away fairly young.
 
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I have a fantasy that one day the ER will be used only for emergencies or reasonable-perceived emergencies, and not for convenient care.

All abscesses that can be drained under local anesthesia can be one by Urgent Care. Or the PCP.

UC can't get all the easy, one off cases where you spend 2 minutes with the patient, Rx prednisone, albuterol, and a z-pack; or Rx zofran; or Rx cefadroxil....and make $50. It's not fair.

Give me all the BS. This is how we get paid > $200 / hr. I'm pretty sure seeing two (maybe three) sniffles reimburses better than a critically ill patient who you spend 2 hours on, intubate, line and send to the ICU.

Most useless exam in all of medicine. Most of the time...

I don't think I've done a pelvic exam in over two years.

7pm-7am. Submitted for your disapproval.



57 F: 5 day history of abd.pain with bloody diarrhea. Right-sided colitis. Cipro/Flagyl. Admitted.

46 M: Stage-4 Renal Cell CA w/ widespread mets. Septic AF. Family thinks that the chemo-fairy will cure him and they will all live happily ever after. Admitted.

23 F: 2 days of first-trimester bleeding. Yesterday's HCG = 9. Today's HCG = 9. DC.

80 F: Concerned about hypertension. Brings three pages of BP logs*. Highest SBP = 162. DC.

13 M: 2 days of post-nasal drip and helicopter parenting. This poor kid will never get laid. DC.

84 M: A-fib/RVR for 3 hours. "Feels just like my A-fib/RVR." Thanks for that. Admitted.

61 M: End-stage HCC on hospice with abdominal pain. Wants ascites drained. My abdomen is bigger after eating Taco Bell. Not today, amigo. DC.

5 F: Sniffles for a day. Jesus Christ, your mom is fat. DC.

40 M: Kidney stone. Again. He's right. DC.

37 F: +3 Baking bread edema to bilateral feet. Shoes too small for patient. Anxious about DVT. DC.

39 F: I have COVID. Yes, you do - and those tattoos are never going away. DC.

27 F: I have COVID. Yes, you do - "Gorgeous bullnose septal piercing", said no man ever. DC.

82 M: Abdominal pain of unclear duration. Demented AF. No abdominal pain. DC.

18 M: Lip laceration after being punched with brass knuckles. Asks for "glue" because he's afraid of sutures. With facial tattoos. Repaired. DC.

77 F: COPD exacerbation. Looks like a piranha plant from the Super Mario Brothers games with a cigarette for the stem. Somehow. Admitted.

67 F: "My allergies are worse today." Have you tried shutting your flytrap?" Your husband will be happier. DC.

69 M: Parkinson's Disease with persecutory hallucinations. LAMPSHADE KOMBAT! Don't give opioids to PD patients, kids. Admitted.

47 F: T. U. R. B. O. - B. O. N. K. E. R. S. DC.

14 F: Epigastric pain. Thunderfart on KUB. DC.

85 M: CHF exacerbation. Admitted.

67 M: Slip-and-fall. Rib pain. X-ray normal. DC.


* - WHY is it that when these boomers bring BP logs; they always use strangely-sized stationery or other things generally unfit for this purpose (CVS receipts, etc) and not standard-sized paper?!

the 13 yo M "never getting laid" had me LOLLING!!

would love to see a shift from England, Switzerland, or some other country where we perceive better stewardship and intelligence over personal health and health care resource utilization.

Pretty sure NHS docs get paid marginally better than what a resident makes in the US.

Driving home.

Ten. Days. Off.

I'm on a similar stretch of days off and man it is amazing.
 
Give me all the BS. This is how we get paid > $200 / hr. I'm pretty sure seeing two (maybe three) sniffles reimburses better than a critically ill patient who you spend 2 hours on, intubate, line and send to the ICU.



I don't think I've done a pelvic exam in over two years.



the 13 yo M "never getting laid" had me LOLLING!!



Pretty sure NHS docs get paid marginally better than what a resident makes in the US.



I'm on a similar stretch of days off and man it is amazing.
You are not getting paid more on the 3 sniffles compared to the 1 critical patient unless you are ordering labs and imaging on all of them. The 3 sniffles you are likely billing a level 1 or 2 chart if you are like me and just immediately discharging them. The critical patient is getting billed critical care time and potentially >75 min critical care time, plus intubation and central line. That is going to be 10+ RVUs as opposed to maybe 6-7 at best for all 3 sniffles combined.
 
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7pm-7am. Submitted for your disapproval.



57 F: 5 day history of abd.pain with bloody diarrhea. Right-sided colitis. Cipro/Flagyl. Admitted.

46 M: Stage-4 Renal Cell CA w/ widespread mets. Septic AF. Family thinks that the chemo-fairy will cure him and they will all live happily ever after. Admitted.

23 F: 2 days of first-trimester bleeding. Yesterday's HCG = 9. Today's HCG = 9. DC.

80 F: Concerned about hypertension. Brings three pages of BP logs*. Highest SBP = 162. DC.

13 M: 2 days of post-nasal drip and helicopter parenting. This poor kid will never get laid. DC.

84 M: A-fib/RVR for 3 hours. "Feels just like my A-fib/RVR." Thanks for that. Admitted.

61 M: End-stage HCC on hospice with abdominal pain. Wants ascites drained. My abdomen is bigger after eating Taco Bell. Not today, amigo. DC.

5 F: Sniffles for a day. Jesus Christ, your mom is fat. DC.

40 M: Kidney stone. Again. He's right. DC.

37 F: +3 Baking bread edema to bilateral feet. Shoes too small for patient. Anxious about DVT. DC.

39 F: I have COVID. Yes, you do - and those tattoos are never going away. DC.

27 F: I have COVID. Yes, you do - "Gorgeous bullnose septal piercing", said no man ever. DC.

82 M: Abdominal pain of unclear duration. Demented AF. No abdominal pain. DC.

18 M: Lip laceration after being punched with brass knuckles. Asks for "glue" because he's afraid of sutures. With facial tattoos. Repaired. DC.

77 F: COPD exacerbation. Looks like a piranha plant from the Super Mario Brothers games with a cigarette for the stem. Somehow. Admitted.

67 F: "My allergies are worse today." Have you tried shutting your flytrap?" Your husband will be happier. DC.

69 M: Parkinson's Disease with persecutory hallucinations. LAMPSHADE KOMBAT! Don't give opioids to PD patients, kids. Admitted.

47 F: T. U. R. B. O. - B. O. N. K. E. R. S. DC.

14 F: Epigastric pain. Thunderfart on KUB. DC.

85 M: CHF exacerbation. Admitted.

67 M: Slip-and-fall. Rib pain. X-ray normal. DC.


* - WHY is it that when these boomers bring BP logs; they always use strangely-sized stationery or other things generally unfit for this purpose (CVS receipts, etc) and not standard-sized paper?!

I'm in that weary last few hours of my first block of night shifts this month and that sh1t was hilarious. Gave me silent masked giggle fits at my workstation and my nurses thought I was cracking up. Keep writing these.
 
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Last night's exhausting shift:

73 M w/ palpitations "afib": Had a fast HR at home after doing yard work and his monitor said it was afib. No other sx. NSR per EMS and ED. DC

41 F ankle pain: Minimal trauma, no PE findings. XR neg. DC

65 F Chest pain: Has had chest wall pain for a few months after aortic valve replacement, couldn't tell whether tonight was different or not. 3rd or 4th visit to ER for same. w/u negative. DC

19 F w/ low back pain after mild MVA. Stable but acting hysterically in ED. Got morphine, sent for CT but flipped out at tech and signed out ama. Went to other campus where imaging was negative.

69 F GLF w/ a facial lac. On hospice, just came in for suturing. Very nice family. DC

80 M w/ fever at home, dyspnea and hypoxic. CXR neg but CT shows pneumonia. Admit

53 M with chest pain. Frequent flyer w/ h/o NICM, alcohol and met abuse. Always claims his defib fired, which it never has. DC

79M signout, came in with chronic neuropathic pain. DC

26 M "pelvic pain" (actually 2 weeks of lower abdominal pain w/ movement). His PCP sent him in and called me "I told him to get over to the ER right away, he's either got appendicits, torsion or a stone." Labs/ua/ct negative; no scrotal pain at all. DC

58 F UTI. DC

54 F. Homeless, requesting tylenol. DC

20F with wrist pain after an MVA. Metacarpal fractures. DC

20M thumb pain after MVA. Has a boo-boo. DC

7M asthma attack. DC after a few nebs

26M Drunk w/ head injury after bar fight. Eloped after I ordered a CT.

67F w/ knee pain. Patellar fracture. Thought I was gonna have to admit for SAR placement but was able to mobilize w/ crutches. DC

60F "urinary retention". AKI on labs, admit.

22F bad trip from mushrooms. Feels better and thankful (absolutely nothing done for her, not even an IV). DC

41 M w/ etoh + intractable N/V. Frequent flyer. Labs w/ AG+ acidosis from ketosis and hypoK. Better after haldol and 3 L, repeat bmp normal. DC

42 F in police custody on psych hold for odd behavior. Eventual dc after she slept for a few hours and psych cleared her.

83 M fever, n/v. W/u negative other than high WBC. Abx, admit.

46F with afib. Comes in monthly with afib requesting cardioversion (always at 5 am, grrr). Cardioverted, didn't even bother with labs. DC

2 M fever x 12 hrs. DC

77M fever. Labs all normal other than mildly high PCT. Given ceftriaxone in ED and dc on Levaquin after he didn't want to be admitted.

75M fall out of wheelchair. Demented, more confused and weak after he was started on benzos two days ago for anxiety. DC

21M shoulder dislocation. Reduced. DC

75 M nstemi. Admit

79 F w/ dyspnea, h/o CHF. Looks fine. DC after extensive workup.
 
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Last night's exhausting shift:

73 M w/ palpitations "afib": Had a fast HR at home after doing yard work and his monitor said it was afib. No other sx. NSR per EMS and ED. DC

41 F ankle pain: Minimal trauma, no PE findings. XR neg. DC

65 F Chest pain: Has had chest wall pain for a few months after aortic valve replacement, couldn't tell whether tonight was different or not. 3rd or 4th visit to ER for same. w/u negative. DC

19 F w/ low back pain after mild MVA. Stable but acting hysterically in ED. Got morphine, sent for CT but flipped out at tech and signed out ama. Went to other campus where imaging was negative.

69 F GLF w/ a facial lac. On hospice, just came in for suturing. Very nice family. DC

80 M w/ fever at home, dyspnea and hypoxic. CXR neg but CT shows pneumonia. Admit

53 M with chest pain. Frequent flyer w/ h/o NICM, alcohol and met abuse. Always claims his defib fired, which it never has. DC

79M signout, came in with chronic neuropathic pain. DC

26 M "pelvic pain" (actually 2 weeks of lower abdominal pain w/ movement). His PCP sent him in and called me "I told him to get over to the ER right away, he's either got appendicits, torsion or a stone." Labs/ua/ct negative; no scrotal pain at all. DC

58 F UTI. DC

54 F. Homeless, requesting tylenol. DC

20F with wrist pain after an MVA. Metacarpal fractures. DC

20M thumb pain after MVA. Has a boo-boo. DC

7M asthma attack. DC after a few nebs

26M Drunk w/ head injury after bar fight. Eloped after I ordered a CT.

67F w/ knee pain. Patellar fracture. Thought I was gonna have to admit for SAR placement but was able to mobilize w/ crutches. DC

60F "urinary retention". AKI on labs, admit.

22F bad trip from mushrooms. Feels better and thankful (absolutely nothing done for her, not even an IV). DC

41 M w/ etoh + intractable N/V. Frequent flyer. Labs w/ AG+ acidosis from ketosis and hypoK. Better after haldol and 3 L, repeat bmp normal. DC

42 F in police custody on psych hold for odd behavior. Eventual dc after she slept for a few hours and psych cleared her.

83 M fever, n/v. W/u negative other than high WBC. Abx, admit.

46F with afib. Comes in monthly with afib requesting cardioversion (always at 5 am, grrr). Cardioverted, didn't even bother with labs. DC

2 M fever x 12 hrs. DC

77M fever. Labs all normal other than mildly high PCT. Given ceftriaxone in ED and dc on Levaquin after he didn't want to be admitted.

75M fall out of wheelchair. Demented, more confused and weak after he was started on benzos two days ago for anxiety. DC

21M shoulder dislocation. Reduced. DC

75 M nstemi. Admit

79 F w/ dyspnea, h/o CHF. Looks fine. DC after extensive workup.

28 patients. That's a lot.
 
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Last night's exhausting shift:

73 M w/ palpitations "afib": Had a fast HR at home after doing yard work and his monitor said it was afib. No other sx. NSR per EMS and ED. DC

41 F ankle pain: Minimal trauma, no PE findings. XR neg. DC

65 F Chest pain: Has had chest wall pain for a few months after aortic valve replacement, couldn't tell whether tonight was different or not. 3rd or 4th visit to ER for same. w/u negative. DC

19 F w/ low back pain after mild MVA. Stable but acting hysterically in ED. Got morphine, sent for CT but flipped out at tech and signed out ama. Went to other campus where imaging was negative.

69 F GLF w/ a facial lac. On hospice, just came in for suturing. Very nice family. DC

80 M w/ fever at home, dyspnea and hypoxic. CXR neg but CT shows pneumonia. Admit

53 M with chest pain. Frequent flyer w/ h/o NICM, alcohol and met abuse. Always claims his defib fired, which it never has. DC

79M signout, came in with chronic neuropathic pain. DC

26 M "pelvic pain" (actually 2 weeks of lower abdominal pain w/ movement). His PCP sent him in and called me "I told him to get over to the ER right away, he's either got appendicits, torsion or a stone." Labs/ua/ct negative; no scrotal pain at all. DC

58 F UTI. DC

54 F. Homeless, requesting tylenol. DC

20F with wrist pain after an MVA. Metacarpal fractures. DC

20M thumb pain after MVA. Has a boo-boo. DC

7M asthma attack. DC after a few nebs

26M Drunk w/ head injury after bar fight. Eloped after I ordered a CT.

67F w/ knee pain. Patellar fracture. Thought I was gonna have to admit for SAR placement but was able to mobilize w/ crutches. DC

60F "urinary retention". AKI on labs, admit.

22F bad trip from mushrooms. Feels better and thankful (absolutely nothing done for her, not even an IV). DC

41 M w/ etoh + intractable N/V. Frequent flyer. Labs w/ AG+ acidosis from ketosis and hypoK. Better after haldol and 3 L, repeat bmp normal. DC

42 F in police custody on psych hold for odd behavior. Eventual dc after she slept for a few hours and psych cleared her.

83 M fever, n/v. W/u negative other than high WBC. Abx, admit.

46F with afib. Comes in monthly with afib requesting cardioversion (always at 5 am, grrr). Cardioverted, didn't even bother with labs. DC

2 M fever x 12 hrs. DC

77M fever. Labs all normal other than mildly high PCT. Given ceftriaxone in ED and dc on Levaquin after he didn't want to be admitted.

75M fall out of wheelchair. Demented, more confused and weak after he was started on benzos two days ago for anxiety. DC

21M shoulder dislocation. Reduced. DC

75 M nstemi. Admit

79 F w/ dyspnea, h/o CHF. Looks fine. DC after extensive workup.

I don’t have the whole list, but included in last night’s nonsense was a 34yo with a runny nose for 2-3 hours. I legit not in a snotty way but In genuine curiosity asked …and…?
Then when I sat down to chart and write the dc papers I thought of this thread.
 
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I don’t have the whole list, but included in last night’s nonsense was a 34yo with a runny nose for 2-3 hours. I legit not in a snotty way but In genuine curiosity asked …and…?
Then when I sat down to chart and write the dc papers I thought of this thread.

yea these encounters, while clearly 100% nonsense, never really end well. The patient isn't going to get anything and nobody is going to hold their hand and say "I'm so happy you clearly used good judgement to come to the most expensive place on earth to get your runny nose checked out. I am so happy to help you."

The pt is either going to leave unsatisfied or leave feeling ashamed / guilty.
 
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Last night's exhausting shift:

26 M "pelvic pain" (actually 2 weeks of lower abdominal pain w/ movement). His PCP sent him in and called me "I told him to get over to the ER right away, he's either got appendicits, torsion or a stone." Labs/ua/ct negative; no scrotal pain at all. DC

Love these don't ya. You can essentially r/o two out of those three based on history & exam. Torsion for 2 weeks? Appy for 2 weeks?

46F with afib. Comes in monthly with afib requesting cardioversion (always at 5 am, grrr). Cardioverted, didn't even bother with labs. DC

LOLZ. you bother sedating him too? I wonder how many RVUs this encounter generates.
We have a guy who comes in 1/month for SVT chemical cardioversion. He tells us where to place the IV, what gauge, how much to give, always refuses labs, and leaves literally 1 minute after he converts.

77M fever. Labs all normal other than mildly high PCT. Given ceftriaxone in ED and dc on Levaquin after he didn't want to be admitted.

Curious, you basically treat elevated PCT as like an "elevated WBC" and it's an auto-dose Abx and perhaps even admit? We don't routinely use PCT in our ER
 
yea these encounters, while clearly 100% nonsense, never really end well. The patient isn't going to get anything and nobody is going to hold their hand and say "I'm so happy you clearly used good judgement to come to the most expensive place on earth to get your runny nose checked out. I am so happy to help you."

The pt is either going to leave unsatisfied or leave feeling ashamed / guilty.
As they should. It's like going to a Burger King for grocery shopping. "I'll take a bag of baby carrots, some soy sauce, 2 lbs of chicken breast..." Sir, I'm going to stop you right there. Cue the 1/5 yelp review.

I find the best course in these cases is to approach it as if they were just asking a pharmacy employee for advice on what to take. IE, throw any semblance of an 'emergency' out the window. Or you could go to the dark side and tell them that it's good they came in early, before this turned into a really bad case of *gasp* sinusitis, here's you decadron and augmentin.
 
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Curious, you basically treat elevated PCT as like an "elevated WBC" and it's an auto-dose Abx and perhaps even admit? We don't routinely use PCT in our ER
Well, the guy had rigors at home and a temp of 39. I don't always get a pct, but when I do I but more credence into it than the WBC. Kinda glad I did in this case since his blood cultures ended up positive for klebsiella. Weird case, fever for like 3 hours w/o any other symptoms. Labs/ua/cxr all negative.
 
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As they should. It's like going to a Burger King for grocery shopping. "I'll take a bag of baby carrots, some soy sauce, 2 lbs of chicken breast..." Sir, I'm going to stop you right there. Cue the 1/5 yelp review.

I find the best course in these cases is to approach it as if they were just asking a pharmacy employee for advice on what to take. IE, throw any semblance of an 'emergency' out the window. Or you could go to the dark side and tell them that it's good they came in early, before this turned into a really bad case of *gasp* sinusitis, here's you decadron and augmentin.

My favorite version of this is (and I have said this to patients):

"Sir, you're in Home Depot and you're trying to order spaghetti."
 
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Well, the guy had rigors at home and a temp of 39. I don't always get a pct, but when I do I but more credence into it than the WBC. Kinda glad I did in this case since his blood cultures ended up positive for klebsiella. Weird case, fever for like 3 hours w/o any other symptoms. Labs/ua/cxr all negative.

Good catch.
Always suspicious of rigours.
Use PCT much more in ICU and always appreciate it when we get a baseline from ED.
Good evidence for a mortality benefit in using it to de-escalate antibiotic therapy. It's helpful to trend.
Don't use it as much in ED where the pre-test probability of true badness is generally lower. More likely to have false positives.
I never use it to justify withholding antibiotics (negative predictive value is not good enough).
Slightly different story in kids where there's better evidence in excluding serious bacterial infection.

Schuetz P, Wirz Y, Sager R, et al. Effect of procalcitonin-guided antibiotic treatment on mortality in acute respiratory infections: a patient level meta-analysis. The Lancet Infectious Diseases. 2018;18(1):95-107.
 
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yea these encounters, while clearly 100% nonsense, never really end well. The patient isn't going to get anything and nobody is going to hold their hand and say "I'm so happy you clearly used good judgement to come to the most expensive place on earth to get your runny nose checked out. I am so happy to help you."

The pt is either going to leave unsatisfied or leave feeling ashamed / guilty.
Agree with the general premise. However, I now view these encounters as the highest level of difficulty game. How do I spend as little of time as possible on the encounter, do nothing for the patient that doesn’t need anything done, have them leave super satisfied, and collect my money? You hit all of those check boxes and it’s mental high fives even if the medicine was stupid and the visit ridiculous. It’s the only way to stay sane as an EP. Then you unexpectedly pick up that rare case of Lemierre's syndrome since you didn’t let your guard down and feel even more like Top Gun as you do a tower fly by on the PLPs.
 
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My favorite version of this is (and I have said this to patients):

"Sir, you're in Home Depot and you're trying to order spaghetti."
I've used "this is like going to McDonalds and asking for a whopper. We don't do that here" but I think I prefer yours as it better encapsulates the absurdity of the request.
 
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