Possibly life-altering decision, please advise!!!!

[Clair de Lune]

This is long, but I'm just wondering what you would do...

I match next year, but am thinking in advance, perhaps more so than I should. I've worked very hard in medical school and probably have a good shot at getting into a more competitive program, maybe in a big city or with a big name. Here's the tough part, though. I've been in a serious relationship for a while now, and we are discussing engagment & marriage in the next couple of years. I would have no problem getting into the IM residency here where I go to med school, which is a good program that turns out very competent physicians, but lacks the big name of some other programs. If I go away, life will be on hold for at least 3 years b/c my significant other is not in a position where he'd be able to move, and I'd have to come back after residency anyway.
Some tell me that I will be making a huge mistake if I don't go off to a big name place to do my residency. I'm very much inclined to stay here, settle down, and learn a lot at my home program.
Has anyone else faced a situation like this, and if so, what did you do??? Then what happened??? Thanks in advance for any advice you can give.

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[Pili]

This is long, but I'm just wondering what you would do...

I match next year, but am thinking in advance, perhaps more so than I should. I've worked very hard in medical school and probably have a good shot at getting into a more competitive program, maybe in a big city or with a big name. Here's the tough part, though. I've been in a serious relationship for a while now, and we are discussing engagment & marriage in the next couple of years. I would have no problem getting into the IM residency here where I go to med school, which is a good program that turns out very competent physicians, but lacks the big name of some other programs. If I go away, life will be on hold for at least 3 years b/c my significant other is not in a position where he'd be able to move, and I'd have to come back after residency anyway.
Some tell me that I will be making a huge mistake if I don't go off to a big name place to do my residency. I'm very much inclined to stay here, settle down, and learn a lot at my home program.
Has anyone else faced a situation like this, and if so, what did you do??? Then what happened??? Thanks in advance for any advice you can give.

I do hope you are not going to take anybody's advice on such a critical matter. Tonight, before going to sleep, write on a piece of paper: where should I go for residency? Fall asleep thinking of this and the answer will come to you in a dream. This is because, on a deep level, you already know the answer within yourself...You are in a committed relationship yet are seriously considering training far away from your beau...You already know why. We don't. Listen to your dreams and your intuition.

 

[vitaminjb]

Don't underestimate how terribly hard it would be to be in a long-distance relationship. You need to make the decision with your significant other. If you would not be happy being apart, it doesn't matter what the name of the program is, it isn't right for you.

 

[Clair de Lune]

Thanks so much for replying. I know what I want to do (stay) but my family is putting tons of pressure on me to go away. At least I have a year to convince them I'll be happier here & didn't have to decide on the match this year. Plus, since I'll be engaged by then there's not much they can say anyway.

Thanks again!

 

[Pili]

Thanks so much for replying. I know what I want to do (stay) but my family is putting tons of pressure on me to go away. At least I have a year to convince them I'll be happier here & didn't have to decide on the match this year. Plus, since I'll be engaged by then there's not much they can say anyway.

Thanks again!

Best of luck. Pressure putting families can be such a hassle...I feel your pain.

 

[14022]

Try to be as objective and honest with your decision to stay at your home institution. If it really is a good program and you will be happy there, then for all means stay. If you have goals of being a cardiologist or gi doc you want to go to a very good program. So try not to convince yourself that your program will help you acheive your long term goals if it is actually a mediocre program that rarely puts their graduates into good positions after residency. I don't think you necessarily have to go to a "big name" because there are plenty of smaller name places that provide excellent training. I am not trying to tell you to ditch your significant other, because I would never do that if I was in your situation, I am only advising to be as honest with yourself as possible. Also, have you discussed your future with this person? Not to be cynical, but are you sure this person's view of the relationship is congruent with yours? It would be horrible to rearrange your life for this person if that person is not planning on being with you for the long term. Good luck with this decision. I experienced a similar situation when I left for medical school and everything worked out fine. I am sure the same will be for you.