Greenflower,
I can speak to both issues.
i just finished training at a large, busy plastics program. There were times I was working balls-to-the-wall and clearly in violation (mostly because I wanted to learn, sometimes because we were shorthanded) but really, for most of my senior years of training was in compliance with the 80 hour workweek. I am in a hand fellowship now and the hours are quite a lot better.
As far as kids go, the best advice I can give is what a former female resident at our program told us:
There is no good time to have kids.
My wife and I have two children and we are both subspecialty surgeons. We had the first in the lab and my wife had our second one while training (she's a chief resident now). I don't know how she did it.
Childcare coverage is complex and pretty expensive, and there are many ways to do it. Personally, we have an au pair, two part time private nannies, part time preschool, and lots of family and friends who help out. We have not had one incident in 3 years where we had to compromise our clinical duties. This includes lots of combined call schedules, free flaps, and patient emergencies.
Being a surgery resident isn't easy. Being married isn't easy either, and having children is the hardest of all. It is also the most rewarding aspect of out lives, and I can safely speak for my wife on this one.
I know many physician couples who have kids in residency or thereafter. They cross all groups - some are two surgeon households, etc.
Takehome: It's certainly possible, and don't let it deter your from what you want to do.