Personal Statement help

[FloralLove]

Hi all ! So I'm beginning to get ready to apply to medical school hopefully in the next application cycle. I want to start writing my personal statement. The only issue is that I am discouraged because all the sample personal statements are surrounded by very big (very dramatic) events. It's making me feel boring. Now because of this, I am stuck on what I should write about. I have a couple of ideas in mind but I'm not sure if either one is the right one to present myself. I wanted to use my grandfather's battle with colon cancer as a basis for my statement.

Just so we are clear, it wasn't his fight with cancer that inspired me to enter medicine but it was his relationship with his oncologist that did. It was the way that his oncologist (who was a resident at the time) had such a genuine love and care for my grandfather. He actually invited my grandfather to his wedding in the Dominican Republic ( my family are natives to the island). He even cried when my grandfather passed away.

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[Hospitalized]

This might concoct an adequate statement, but it will not stand out. I've heard gyngyn mention numerous times that the "grandparent dying" stories are extremely overused.

Also, colon cancer is extremely common in the elderly.

 

[BurghMed]

This might concoct an adequate statement, but it will not stand out. I've heard gyngyn mention numerous times that the "grandparent dying" stories are extremely overused.

I agree. Although perhaps there is some potential here to tell a moving story, the likelihood of this story being about your grandfather and the oncologist instead of about YOU, is incredibly high. The my sick grandparent inspired me to go into medicine is likely 20% (no data to back this up) of all personal statements. Does that mean you can't write about it? Of course not. But consider exploring other options that speak more to what you've experienced in extracurriculars/personal obstacles, etc. Good luck.

 

[FloralLove]

I agree. Although perhaps there is some potential here to tell a moving story, the likelihood of this story being about your grandfather and the oncologist instead of about YOU, is incredibly high. The my sick grandparent inspired me to go into medicine is likely 20% (no data to back this up) of all personal statements. Does that mean you can't write about it? Of course not. But consider exploring other options that speak more to what you've experienced in extracurriculars/personal obstacles, etc. Good luck.

That is what my fear is. I was thinking of using the topic of his death mainly bc I could write about my research experience ( two projects related to cancer ). Then I also have a huge personal obstacle but I am afraid it is too controversial. My cousin committed suicide two years ago and it took a huge toll on me mainly because I blamed myself. My grades started to decline and I started to lose interest in school. I was able to over come it with a lot of therapy and support from an on campus organization that I am part of now ( active minds ). The only thing is again I am afraid it is too controversial and it may show me in a very negative light

 

[BurghMed]

I'm sorry for the loss. For the record, I wrote about my cousin's suicide for multiple secondary essays. I am not sure if I had to overcome as much as you did as a result of it, but I by no means think it's too controversial on its face. Now, to be honest (and not harsh), you would need to be careful as to how you portray yourself. There is nothing wrong with saying that you struggled emotionally as a result of your cousin's passing. However, there is a fine line between saying you were incredibly upset and needed support vs. you were in a depressive state for over a year, failed all your classes, and needed to be placed in a psychiatric ward. I'm not saying that there's anything wrong with that if it's true for anyone, but perhaps that wouldn't be the best experience to bring up.

Being able to overcome someone's death with support is not weakness and seemed to be an incredible learning experience for you. It might be a wise idea to take some time and explore it on paper to see if it's something you're comfortable writing about. Good luck, and feel free to PM me if you have any questions.

 

[Doug Underhill]

Focus the statement on how you want to be like Dr. X and why what he did was so great, not about your grandfather's fight with cancer (although you can certainly mention this). The statement is about your desire to become a physician.


Also, you may want to apply to Columbia, since it's located in Washington Heights.

 

[FloralLove]

I'm sorry for the loss. For the record, I wrote about my cousin's suicide for multiple secondary essays. I am not sure if I had to overcome as much as you did as a result of it, but I by no means think it's too controversial on its face. Now, to be honest (and not harsh), you would need to be careful as to how you portray yourself. There is nothing wrong with saying that you struggled emotionally as a result of your cousin's passing. However, there is a fine line between saying you were incredibly upset and needed support vs. you were in a depressive state for over a year, failed all your classes, and needed to be placed in a psychiatric ward. I'm not saying that there's anything wrong with that if it's true for anyone, but perhaps that wouldn't be the best experience to bring up.

Being able to overcome someone's death with support is not weakness and seemed to be an incredible learning experience for you. It might be a wise idea to take some time and explore it on paper to see if it's something you're comfortable writing about. Good luck, and feel free to PM me if you have any questions.

Thank you for your post and I'm sorry for your loss as well. I think that's what I am going to do. I'm going to try and tell both stories on two different statements and then seeing how I feel about each one of them. Thank you so much for your advice ! It's been so helpful !

 

[FloralLove]

Focus the statement on how you want to be like Dr. X and why what he did was so great, not about your grandfather's fight with cancer (although you can certainly mention this). The statement is about your desire to become a physician.


Also, you may want to apply to Columbia, since it's located in Washington Heights.

That's actually exactly the direction that I wanted to take with my paper. I wanted to use grandpa's fight to introduce this doctor. It's actually ironic that you mention Columbia considering that a) my mom's family (grandpa is my mom's dad) relocated to Washington heights when they came to the US and that's where grandpa lived up until his death.

 

[Glazedonutlove]

Hi all ! So I'm beginning to get ready to apply to medical school hopefully in the next application cycle. I want to start writing my personal statement. The only issue is that I am discouraged because all the sample personal statements are surrounded by very big (very dramatic) events. It's making me feel boring. Now because of this, I am stuck on what I should write about. I have a couple of ideas in mind but I'm not sure if either one is the right one to present myself. I wanted to use my grandfather's battle with colon cancer as a basis for my statement.

Just so we are clear, it wasn't his fight with cancer that inspired me to enter medicine but it was his relationship with his oncologist that did. It was the way that his oncologist (who was a resident at the time) had such a genuine love and care for my grandfather. He actually invited my grandfather to his wedding in the Dominican Republic ( my family are natives to the island). He even cried when my grandfather passed away.

why do you want to go into medicine? What part of your grandfather's experience compelled you? (be specific) Then talk about your research, if you specifically chose cancer research because of this experience with your grandfather. From there you could talk about other aspects of medicine that appeal to you--maybe you spent time taking care of your grandfather than that showed you insight. Maybe you had other clinical experiences at the hospital that stuck with you. It can go a lot of different directions. Don't worry about colon cancer being common or whatever. If this is your honest path to medicine, then you write this. The more "unique" you try to make it, the more unbelievable it becomes.

This is what helped me: I just started free writing different experiences and how that led to my growing interest in medicine. Next time you look at it, pick out a couple really important ones and develop those. Then connect them. Then revise until you're happy with the result. Then ask other people for their feedback. I wouldn't ask for opinions at this point because you know why you went into medicine, not us

Also, only talk about things that led you to medicine. I would keep mental illness (if that is what you have overcome) out of personal statements but there are ways to word it in a positive way.

 

[neuro17]

I'm also applying this cycle and drafting my personal statement. The thing that helps me most is to remember that this statement needs to be about YOU and YOUR desire to go into medicine -- so it doesn't really matter what tragic events, research experiences, etc. led to your choice. You just need to use these events as support for why, and not what drives you. My advice would be to pick out the gemstones (i.e. what did you learn) from each experience and tie those together, not the events themselves.

For example, I want to go to into medicine because I have beliefs/values/goals X, Y, and Z, which I happened to develop through events like A and B.

 

[Dandine]

Just wanted to add this since it's the time when many people are starting PS drafts, but as everyone here has mentioned, focus on your specific journey and what qualities attracted you to the idea of being a physician.

Will your story be fantastically different from others? Can't say for certain. But if you can frame yourself in a way that shows a particular outlook based on things you've experienced, that will be a much more effective mindset while you write than trying to force "hey, I'm different!!!". Difference will follow, provided you can explain what you find important in physicians/what they stand for that you happen to have. And yes, you will have wonky first drafts, but that's what revising is for--to perfect your voice.

Good luck to you all!