Need some advice on dating and workload during residency as well as fellowship

[lawyerofip]

Heya,

Around 1.5 months ago I started dating someone who is finishing her residency. We met at the wedding party and hit it off . Dating so far has been both fun and challenging. Additionally, I work in the legal field at one of the leading banks. So my schedule tends to be erratic and her schedule is equally erratic. So finding time is always difficult. Though we've managed to meet once per week now. Today when we met she brought up the whole topic of becoming couple. It was good.

She is planning to attend fellowship at a hospital in CO which is around 4 hour by flight from east coast, plus the time difference. So it's gonna be long distance. She is not sure how her schedule is gonna be during fellowship. Same goes for me as a young professional in my field, my schedule tend to be extremely erratic and busy depending on workload.

While I'm optimistic that we can work things out, I thought I'll ask some questions to avoid too many bumpy roads that may lie ahead. I wanted to get better idea from fellow members on how did you manage dating after finishing residency and at the start of fellowship? Also, what is/was your work-life balance during this period (first years of fellowship)?

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[cbrons]

Today when we met she brought up the whole topic of becoming couple.

So she asked you to be her boyfriend?
Lol...

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[lawyerofip]

So she asked you to be her boyfriend?
Lol...

I was surprised too. Not that I'm Brad Pitt lookalike nor have I oozing charisma of Jack Nicholson. And I'm also swarming in education debt. So I'm also truly confounded. Maybe she's been single far too long..

 

[Crayola227]

I was surprised too. Not that I'm Brad Pitt lookalike nor have I oozing charisma of Jack Nicholson. And I'm also swarming in education debt. So I'm also truly confounded. Maybe she's been single far too long..

maybe she just likes you

but the humility here is a good thing for a relationship

 

[Foot Fetish]

I was surprised too. Not that I'm Brad Pitt lookalike nor have I oozing charisma of Jack Nicholson. And I'm also swarming in education debt. So I'm also truly confounded. Maybe she's been single far too long..

Her biological clock is ticking, man.

 

[lawyerofip]

maybe she just likes you

but the humility here is a good thing for a relationship

Thanks. Appreciate it.

Apologies, but any advice on the topic at hand?

 

[failedatlife]

You're lucky. I'm shallow and am only attracted to extremely good looking girls (aka the little blonde ones at your state school's sorority). Unfortunately, this is just not meant to be because I have nothing to "offer" to these women. I get ghosted and ignored like there is no tomorrow.

 

[Foot Fetish]

the little blonde ones at your state school's sorority

I heard that type of girl only goes for guys who scored 250+ on Step 1.

 

[Psai]

I heard that type of girl only goes for guys who scored 250+ on Step 1.

Someone rang?

 

[OrthoTraumaMD]

You can make it work, even long distance, but it is tough without a prior commitment. My good friend was long distance (literally east coast-west coast) for three years before getting married...but she and her boyfriend had been together for a while before that, not a short time as it sounds like you are. The nice thing about dating, though, is that if it doesn't work out, it's understandable and you can move on. So in my mind, there is no harm in trying--but with your busy lives, make a set time in your schedule to talk daily, and plan your visits well in advance. I did the same thing and it worked for me.

 

[BigRedBeta]

The true answer on how it's going to work is dependent on what field she's doing her fellowship in.
In a multi-year fellowship (say a pediatric subspecialty which would be 3 years) the first year will be tougher than years 2 and 3. If it's a one year family med sports medicine fellowship, it may be erratic schedule wise but not that physically, mentally and/or emotionally exhausting that other fields could be.

Bottom line, what's the harm in trying if she's willing to give it a go?

 

[jw3600]

So she asked you to be her boyfriend?
Lol...

Sent from my SM-N910P using SDN mobile

Is that strange?

 

[lawyerofip]

The true answer on how it's going to work is dependent on what field she's doing her fellowship in.
In a multi-year fellowship (say a pediatric subspecialty which would be 3 years) the first year will be tougher than years 2 and 3. If it's a one year family med sports medicine fellowship, it may be erratic schedule wise but not that physically, mentally and/or emotionally exhausting that other fields could be.

Bottom line, what's the harm in trying if she's willing to give it a go?

Thank you. Hers is in pediatrics at a hospital in CO. Yeah, I want to give it a go. She seems genuinely nice person. I'm just worried if she'll be too busy to even talk during fellowship everyday like things you do as a normal couple. I heard that's what happens during residency/fellowship.

 

[BigRedBeta]

Thank you. Hers is in pediatrics at a hospital in CO. Yeah, I want to give it a go. She seems genuinely nice person. I'm just worried if she'll be too busy to even talk during fellowship everyday like things you do as a normal couple. I heard that's what happens during residency/fellowship.

I PM'd you

 

[W19]

Is that strange?

Yes... Maybe he is a younger version of Robert Redford. Who knows!

 

[lawyerofip]

Yes... Maybe he is a younger version of Robert Redford. Who knows!

Why is it strange?

 

[67552931811]

Why is it strange?

O clue. Seems normal to me.

 

[KinesiologyNerd]

I'm just worried if she'll be too busy to even talk during fellowship everyday like things you do as a normal couple.

Ehhh overrated