How is your intern-friend doing? After reading the forum posts, most apear to focus upon the income disparity, gender roles, and suppossed differences in intellect. Shared values probably play a greater role in their happiness. To be credible in either field, MD's and Police officers must possess a genuine desire to help others and are probably motivated to some degree by the authority/power dynamic garnered by both work environments.
"marrying up/marrying down"
- Thread starter lagirl213
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Selecting your partner in marriage should be based on your mutual goals in life (e.g. do you want kids, etc) and personal values.
For example, in terms of my personal values, I place great importance on education so I date men who have at least a bachelor's degree. College means a lot to me and it better mean a lot to the one I'm dating let alone marry. That's just a dealbreaker for me. And I'm a science geek so I tend to date men who have science majors. Also, I come from a huge, supportive family so I tend to gravitate towards men who have the same support system. I am also a devout Catholic. I attend mass every Sunday and follow all the traditions including Lent so I'm generally more attracted to men who share my Christian views. But that's just me. I may sound picky but as I've observed my friends' and my cousins' marriages, I've noticed that the only way for it to succeed is if both parties agree on a set of goals.
For example, in terms of my personal values, I place great importance on education so I date men who have at least a bachelor's degree. College means a lot to me and it better mean a lot to the one I'm dating let alone marry. That's just a dealbreaker for me. And I'm a science geek so I tend to date men who have science majors. Also, I come from a huge, supportive family so I tend to gravitate towards men who have the same support system. I am also a devout Catholic. I attend mass every Sunday and follow all the traditions including Lent so I'm generally more attracted to men who share my Christian views. But that's just me. I may sound picky but as I've observed my friends' and my cousins' marriages, I've noticed that the only way for it to succeed is if both parties agree on a set of goals.
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sounds arranged to me.
I thought I would put in my $.02 because I have been in a relationship for 5 years, 4 of which were long distance. My boyfriend and I met at the end of high school, and 6 months later he joined the military. He was stationed 2000 miles from where I decided to go to undergrad. I have been accepted at an optometry school close to where he is stationed and finally have moved near him after 4 years spent months apart at a time, waiting only for brief one-week-long visits. Now that we are stronger than ever and finally together, we feel we can conquer any challenge that may await us.
We have talked about his lack of education, and how I think it is important for him to take classes so that he can get a better job once he is out of the military, but he plans to stay in. This was a hard thing for me to accept, but in the end, what matters more is how much we mean to each other. It's not about how much money he will make in the future, but that he is enjoying what he does. And if others want to look down upon him for serving our country, then their ignorance is their own problem.
I know that if I push him into an education, he will resent me because his heart is set on what he is doing. He will figure out what he wants to do in time, and as long as he's doing what makes him happy, then I will support him. He's been incredibly supportive of me and our relationship in the past 5 years, and I couldn't see myself with anybody but him for the rest of my life, no matter what his job is. It doesn't matter what others think of us, it matters how we feel about each other, and I know that we have so much love that nothing as trivial as what we wear to work (white lab coat or camouflage) is going to separate us.
If you are as shallow as refusing to date somebody who may be the love of your life, but only has a bachelors degree (or in my case not even one college class under their belt), then I feel terribly sorry for you.
We have talked about his lack of education, and how I think it is important for him to take classes so that he can get a better job once he is out of the military, but he plans to stay in. This was a hard thing for me to accept, but in the end, what matters more is how much we mean to each other. It's not about how much money he will make in the future, but that he is enjoying what he does. And if others want to look down upon him for serving our country, then their ignorance is their own problem.
I know that if I push him into an education, he will resent me because his heart is set on what he is doing. He will figure out what he wants to do in time, and as long as he's doing what makes him happy, then I will support him. He's been incredibly supportive of me and our relationship in the past 5 years, and I couldn't see myself with anybody but him for the rest of my life, no matter what his job is. It doesn't matter what others think of us, it matters how we feel about each other, and I know that we have so much love that nothing as trivial as what we wear to work (white lab coat or camouflage) is going to separate us.
If you are as shallow as refusing to date somebody who may be the love of your life, but only has a bachelors degree (or in my case not even one college class under their belt), then I feel terribly sorry for you.
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Haters gonna hate. I've been dating my bf for a little over a year, so long enough to start flirting with the idea of marriage. I'm about to head off to pharmacy school, but he hasn't taken a single college course, so I've been getting some harsh words from family and friends about it. We are so compatible... we have great conversations, he makes me laugh, and I love being with him. At the end of the day, I'd rather be with someone who makes me totally happy than someone who makes me kind of happy but is "good on paper".
I think it's stupid that there's such a double standard on this issue. An educated professional man can marry some bimbo with huge t*** and nobody blinks an eye, but people wanna judge me for wanting to have a hot, rugged trophy husband?
Plus the man knows the ins and outs of a car and could basically build a house from scratch. So while some of you are shelling out half your paycheck on car and home repairs, I don't mind "changing the weather".
