Living with s/o but commuting or living near campus? (Incoming 1st year)

[StudentDoctorNeuro]

Hello everyone, I need some advice:

So I have two options:
1) I can live with s/o but have to commute up to 50 minutes (due to traffic) 1 way
or
2) live near campus

I do have the option of echoing lectures online, but I usually study on-campus

What would you guys choose if you were in my position?

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[DOctor2be95]

Hello everyone, I need some advice:

So I have two options:
1) I can live with s/o but have to commute up to 50 minutes (due to traffic) 1 way
or
2) live near campus

I do have the option of echoing lectures online, but I usually study on-campus

What would you guys choose if you were in my position?

I’m actually in the same position. I’m planning on the commute. Paying two rents just doesn’t make sense for us, but it probably mostly just comes down to personal preference.

 

[PapaGuava]

That commute would not be fun once classes start, and if you wanted the option to attend lectures it would be tough on you. Not only that but also when events and lectures are mandatory for certain things.

 

[StudentDoctorNeuro]

That commute would not be fun once classes start, and if you wanted the option to attend lectures it would be tough on you. Not only that but also when events and lectures are mandatory for certain things.

Yeah I'm pretty stuck between the 2 options. Living near campus would be easier and I do prefer studying on campus but then I won't be able to live with my s/o and if we're not living together, we're barely gonna see each other

 

[PapaGuava]

Yeah I'm pretty stuck between the 2 options. Living near campus would be easier and I do prefer studying on campus but then I won't be able to live with my s/o and if we're not living together, we're barely gonna see each other

Yeah I understand what you're saying, but maybe you both could try to find a place together that is 30 mins or less?

 

[samac]

Long-distance in medical school wasn't super difficult since I was buried in a book all the time anyway. I'd recommend meeting in the middle where you both would have to travel 35 minutes. I hate commuting so almost 2 hours every day would drive me nuts.

 

[Lanhaines Elsetion]

Try to live with your s/o to be happier in the long run. You can listen to recordings/etc during your commute if you have to. See if its possible for both of you to move closer.

 

[deleted994889]

Depends on how bad is traffic. 50 minutes with minor traffic can be ok and you'd save rent money. But 50 minutes of heavy traffic, that's extra stress you don't need. Somewhere between is a good compromise. Or you could study at the local public or school library instead. It'd also depends on how much is rent and how much time you need together to be happy.

 

[Angus Avagadro]

Although you can listen to lectures and podcasts in the car, nearly 2 hrs a day away from the books and active studying might be a burden. Plus you will resent the commute if you can leave but have to be on campus later in the day. Every hour is precious, you will only have 1 hr for exercise each day. No more 3 hr lifts. If you are an elite student, then this is less problematic. If you are like most of us, you will appreciate the extra 2 hrs a day for studies. Work out something in the middle? Good luck and best wishes!

 

[DO2015CA]

Also depends if the school has mandatory attendance. If it does then 2 hour commute per day would be a deal breaker. You’ll need those 2 hours. Now if you just need to be on campus 2-3 times per week then it’s more doable.

 

[StudentDoctorNeuro]

Long-distance in medical school wasn't super difficult since I was buried in a book all the time anyway. I'd recommend meeting in the middle where you both would have to travel 35 minutes. I hate commuting so almost 2 hours every day would drive me nuts.

Actually she's compromising more than me. We're 30 mins from my school (but its 40-50 minutes with traffic), she's actually 1 hour 30 mins from her job. She said she's willing to do it, but I feel like she doesn't really know how bad it will actually be

 

[StudentDoctorNeuro]

Also depends if the school has mandatory attendance. If it does then 2 hour commute per day would be a deal breaker. You’ll need those 2 hours. Now if you just need to be on campus 2-3 times per week then it’s more doable.

For the first month we have anatomy, so I have to be there 8-5 mon-friday, but then I can echo lectures online

 

[zNoodlez]

For the first month we have anatomy, so I have to be there 8-5 mon-friday, but then I can echo lectures online

I personally wouldn't do it. It would kill me to drive 2 hours every weekday to school and back.

 

[DO2015CA]

I personally wouldn't do it. It would kill me to drive 2 hours every weekday to school and back.

Yes but it would kill me to not see my significant other more. It would be absolutely awful to drive 10 hours per week for the first month especially when adapting to medschool life but we all make sacrifices

 

[zNoodlez]

Yes but it would kill me to not see my significant other more. It would be absolutely awful to drive 10 hours per week for the first month especially when adapting to medschool life but we all make sacrifices

Agree, however the stress you will experience in med school could be incredibly taxing on relationships, I wouldn't want to add on top of that the insufferable amount of hours spent driving. That's 10 hours you could spend studying/relaxing/sleeping.

 

[DO2015CA]

Agree, however the stress you will experience in med school could be incredibly taxing on relationships, I wouldn't want to add on top of that the insufferable amount of hours spent driving. That's 10 hours you could spend studying/relaxing/sleeping.

Ya 80% of my class broke up with significant others, myself included. I moved to the other side of the country from them. FaceTime and what not wasn’t enough. Of my classmates that were successful, all of them lived together. With how stressful and time consuming medical school is, you have to make them a priority if you want a snowballs chance in hell for the relationship to survive.

 

[Grapesurgery]

Just wanted to add that living so far away from campus could also impact your social life with your med school class. I believe SO outweighs the class in terms of support system, honestly, but if you could compromise in some way that could make it less taxing to meet up to study/hangout/go to volunteer at the free clinic (IDK, extracurriculars in general) and just build up your camaraderie with the rest of your class I feel med school will be a lot easier on you.

 

[StudentDoctorNeuro]

Just wanted to add that living so far away from campus could also impact your social life with your med school class. I believe SO outweighs the class in terms of support system, honestly, but if you could compromise in some way that could make it less taxing to meet up to study/hangout/go to volunteer at the free clinic (IDK, extracurriculars in general) and just build up your camaraderie with the rest of your class I feel med school will be a lot easier on you.

I'm a pretty social person, so I was looking forward to that actually. It's a very tough decision and I will have to think about it more. One day I'm with one decision and the next another. Thank you all for your insight, I highly appreciate it

 

[StudentDoctorNeuro]

Ya 80% of my class broke up with significant others, myself included. I moved to the other side of the country from them. FaceTime and what not wasn’t enough. Of my classmates that were successful, all of them lived together. With how stressful and time consuming medical school is, you have to make them a priority if you want a snowballs chance in hell for the relationship to survive.

80%..? Is this really true though? I've seen similar outlooks on other posts but damn that's high. I mean this year we're also kinda far distance (NY/NJ) so we may be able to manage

 

[deleted1005514]

I have classmates that live over 1,000 miles from their SOs...some of them live that far from their kids during OMS1/2, and plan to do clinical years closer to home. Honestly, on the pro side they have fewer distractions...they put their heads down, grind hard and see their loved ones on breaks. On the con side, they miss a lot, and it’s hard. But it can be done.

 

[zNoodlez]

I'm a pretty social person, so I was looking forward to that actually. It's a very tough decision and I will have to think about it more. One day I'm with one decision and the next another. Thank you all for your insight, I highly appreciate it

You know, it might just be a great idea to purchase a Tesla so it can self-drive you to school every day while you study

 

[samac]

80%..? Is this really true though? I've seen similar outlooks on other posts but damn that's high. I mean this year we're also kinda far distance (NY/NJ) so we may be able to manage

I don't know the numbers at my school, but my n=1 me and my SO made it through. There was a rough patch where he showed up a couple of times without calling first trying to make it a nice surprise, and I got angry being on a study schedule and him just coming in and wrecking it. But we got past that and we're as strong as ever.