Letter of Recommendation Advice Needed

[deleted892858]

Hey all! I have a question about how to approach an issue I am having with getting a letter of recommendation from a dentist. I have shadowed a prestigious oral surgeon and respect him highly. I am very non confrontational so it was hard as is to ask him for a letter in the first place, but a few months back, he agreed. I retook my DAT June 7th, so now I have time to actually work on my app. Thing is, the oral surgeon missed the interfolio deadline I have given him for my letter, which is seriously concerning to me. I sent him a follow up email to remind him, even making it easier for him by sending him a request via the AADSAS portal if he doesn't like interfolio. Still no email back. This was DAYS ago.

When I spoke to him last in person (a week or so ago), he said in passing that he wants to help write my personal statement and to meet in JULY to work on my app. NOOOO!!!!! I used the new bootcamp personal statement aid to help me refine my draft, and my statement is in a really good place and I am very satisfied with the one I currently have. I am frightened that he has the impression that I am lost and have nothing written, when in reality I legit just need his letter. That is the only thing stopping me from submitting, and I know it sounds like I am venting but I am just at a loss for words...in that email I sent him, I let him know my whole app is complete including my personal statement and now I am afraid he is taking it personally that I don't want his help on my personal statement? I can't read people like that, so now I am just left in my own thoughts driving myself nuts. Again, I sent him an email just a few days back, so I feel I have done everything feasibly in my power. How would you approach the situation? Thank you in advance!

---

Members don't see this ad.

 

[Sbofet]

Hey all! I have a question about how to approach an issue I am having with getting a letter of recommendation from a dentist. I have shadowed a prestigious oral surgeon and respect him highly. I am very non confrontational so it was hard as is to ask him for a letter in the first place, but a few months back, he agreed. I retook my DAT June 7th, so now I have time to actually work on my app. Thing is, the oral surgeon missed the interfolio deadline I have given him for my letter, which is seriously concerning to me. I sent him a follow up email to remind him, even making it easier for him by sending him a request via the AADSAS portal if he doesn't like interfolio. Still no email back. This was DAYS ago.

When I spoke to him last in person (a week or so ago), he said in passing that he wants to help write my personal statement and to meet in JULY to work on my app. NOOOO!!!!! I used the new bootcamp personal statement aid to help me refine my draft, and my statement is in a really good place and I am very satisfied with the one I currently have. I am frightened that he has the impression that I am lost and have nothing written, when in reality I legit just need his letter. That is the only thing stopping me from submitting, and I know it sounds like I am venting but I am just at a loss for words...in that email I sent him, I let him know my whole app is complete including my personal statement and now I am afraid he is taking it personally that I don't want his help on my personal statement? I can't read people like that, so now I am just left in my own thoughts driving myself nuts. Again, I sent him an email just a few days back, so I feel I have done everything feasibly in my power. How would you approach the situation? Thank you in advance!

Totally understand your stress, as I've been there before. Realize that your writers have a lot of other things going on too (especially if he is an oral surgeon). I had a professor agree to write a letter of recommendation who did not turn it in until 16 days after my requested deadline. He did not forget but explained to me that he had a ton of other letters to write and that he would write mine as soon as possible. You've already done the hard part and asked him for a letter of rec, to which he agreed. Now he just has to follow up, which I'm sure he will when he is able to.
Try to email him again to gently remind him or ask about his progress, or even better, do so him in person. You need to explicitly communicate to him all you need is the letter and not help with the personal statement, to which you had already completed before he asked to help. He seems like he just wants to help you, and I don't think he will take it personally for you not wanting his help with the personal statement.
Hope that helped, good luck this cycle!

 

[deleted985368]

I would reach out to him again next week, thanking him for agreeing to write you a letter. You provided him with an arbitrary deadline anyways, so you can say although it passed, if this is still something he could do for you in the next X amount of days.

Also do you happen to have a fourth letter writer?

 

[deleted892858]

I would reach out to him again next week, thanking him for agreeing to write you a letter. You provided him with an arbitrary deadline anyways, so you can say although it passed, is still something he could do for you in the next X amount of days.

Also do you happen to have a fourth letter writer?

I do have a fourth letter already uploaded, but it isn't from a dentist

 

[Momof]

Are you sure he wants to help you write your PS? It sounds to me like you should forward your PS and your resume to him at the very least, so he can include some pertinent information in the letter of recommendation. It's not unusual to have a meeting with someone who is going to write a strong letter of recommendation for you.

 

[TheDentalSchoolCoach]

Hey all! I have a question about how to approach an issue I am having with getting a letter of recommendation from a dentist. I have shadowed a prestigious oral surgeon and respect him highly. I am very non confrontational so it was hard as is to ask him for a letter in the first place, but a few months back, he agreed. I retook my DAT June 7th, so now I have time to actually work on my app. Thing is, the oral surgeon missed the interfolio deadline I have given him for my letter, which is seriously concerning to me. I sent him a follow up email to remind him, even making it easier for him by sending him a request via the AADSAS portal if he doesn't like interfolio. Still no email back. This was DAYS ago.

When I spoke to him last in person (a week or so ago), he said in passing that he wants to help write my personal statement and to meet in JULY to work on my app. NOOOO!!!!! I used the new bootcamp personal statement aid to help me refine my draft, and my statement is in a really good place and I am very satisfied with the one I currently have. I am frightened that he has the impression that I am lost and have nothing written, when in reality I legit just need his letter. That is the only thing stopping me from submitting, and I know it sounds like I am venting but I am just at a loss for words...in that email I sent him, I let him know my whole app is complete including my personal statement and now I am afraid he is taking it personally that I don't want his help on my personal statement? I can't read people like that, so now I am just left in my own thoughts driving myself nuts. Again, I sent him an email just a few days back, so I feel I have done everything feasibly in my power. How would you approach the situation? Thank you in advance!

Go ahead and submit the application. In the meantime, send him your personal statement and CV ( if you have them ready). Some recommenders want to see them while writing a rec letter. It's a conventional practice. Also be very clear. Tell him how the dental admission timeline works to create a sense of urgency. Setting clear communication and expectations would be key here. He'd totally understand. He's been in your shoes and done it. So, keep a positive tone and clearly delineate what you want from him.

All the best.

 

[PreDenting]

I do have a fourth letter already uploaded, but it isn't from a dentist

If you have 4 letters of recommendation uploaded into AADSAS, you won't be able to delete or change any of the letters.

If that's the situation, you should submit your application and then contact each school asking how they'd like your additional letter, which is from a dentist, to be sent to them (by email or by postal mail tend to be the most common ways a 5th letter of recommendation can be sent to schools).

 

[deleted985368]

If you have 4 letters of recommendation uploaded into AADSAS, you won't be able to delete or change any of the letters.

If that's the situation, you should submit your application and then contact each school asking how they'd like your additional letter, which is from a dentist, to be sent to them (by email or by postal mail tend to be the most common ways a 5th letter of recommendation can be sent to schools).

I think they were saying they have 3 letters submitted and they’re only waiting for the last one from the dentist. I would go ahead and submit the application.

 

[deleted904921]

Hey all! I have a question about how to approach an issue I am having with getting a letter of recommendation from a dentist. I have shadowed a prestigious oral surgeon and respect him highly. I am very non confrontational so it was hard as is to ask him for a letter in the first place, but a few months back, he agreed. I retook my DAT June 7th, so now I have time to actually work on my app. Thing is, the oral surgeon missed the interfolio deadline I have given him for my letter, which is seriously concerning to me. I sent him a follow up email to remind him, even making it easier for him by sending him a request via the AADSAS portal if he doesn't like interfolio. Still no email back. This was DAYS ago.

When I spoke to him last in person (a week or so ago), he said in passing that he wants to help write my personal statement and to meet in JULY to work on my app. NOOOO!!!!! I used the new bootcamp personal statement aid to help me refine my draft, and my statement is in a really good place and I am very satisfied with the one I currently have. I am frightened that he has the impression that I am lost and have nothing written, when in reality I legit just need his letter. That is the only thing stopping me from submitting, and I know it sounds like I am venting but I am just at a loss for words...in that email I sent him, I let him know my whole app is complete including my personal statement and now I am afraid he is taking it personally that I don't want his help on my personal statement? I can't read people like that, so now I am just left in my own thoughts driving myself nuts. Again, I sent him an email just a few days back, so I feel I have done everything feasibly in my power. How would you approach the situation? Thank you in advance!

yes like everyone said, SUBMIT THE APPLICATION. you can submit without the letters. and schools will see ur application! theyll still look it over and wait for rec letters to come in. and SEND HIM UR PS. show him that it's done.
so pls submit and let him not cause the delay in ur application bc it takes time for schools to process them as well

 

[deleted892858]

If you have 4 letters of recommendation uploaded into AADSAS, you won't be able to delete or change any of the letters.

If that's the situation, you should submit your application and then contact each school asking how they'd like your additional letter, which is from a dentist, to be sent to them (by email or by postal mail tend to be the most common ways a 5th letter of recommendation can be sent to schools).

Sorry I misspoke I meant I already have 3 letters and the fourth will be from the surgeon