I will try to make this post as concise as I can, and I apologize if I include superfluities or other statements not germane to this inquiry. If there is specific information that would be helpful in terms of understanding my situation, please let me know. Thanks!
I just graduated with an MD; however, I am definitely not celebrating like the rest of my class. I failed Step 2 CS twice, and after much deliberation by a committee at my school, was allowed to graduate without the required passing of CS; however, I cannot enter the match. My decision to go to medical school was, in retrospect, very ill-informed. I was a biophysics major and very much loved quantitative science. I also loved volunteering in inner-city Baltimore (well just gave away my school I suppose) and my experiences shadowing various specialists at the hospital. No one in my family is in the healthcare field, and looking back I undeniably made an error in going to medical school in the first place. However, I received a full scholarship and lived with my parents, so at least I don't have any student loans to pay back.
I loved the first two years of medical school (preclinical years), and it wasn't until M3 when I realized that 1) I cannot handle stress well, 2) I'm prone to MDD, 3) My public speaking skills (or perhaps social/interpersonal/communication skills in general) are horrid. I worked with my psychiatrist extensively during this time as well as a clinical advisor. I took many OSCEs and usually got slightly below average to average. I took my med school's clinical performance exam after M3 (made to model S2CS) and scored slightly above the median score for my class. I took S2CS twice (for 2' attempt I practically memorized FA-CS and my advisor, along with the SPs, told me I would definitely not fail). In Atlanta I could not control my emotions, and the only thing I could concentrate on was how much of a failure I was. Or maybe I simply do not have the clinical skills necessary to pass the exam, and the exam served its intended purpose. I don't know.
So as I said previously, I was permitted to graduate but could not enter the match. If I did enter the match, I would apply into pathology, but that's obviously not a possibility now. Unfortunately, having an MD without residency training is not much of an asset (I'd argue that it's a liability). The only jobs for which I'm qualified (that I'm aware of) are entry-level positions as lab assistants (clinical and basic science). I sent a sample resume/CL to two physician-scientists that I know very well, and they both said the biggest problem is that my MD is a red flag (i.e. applicant either has major character flaw or is not serious about job). I have worked in many biochemistry, biophysics, and microbiology labs and worked on individual research projects; however, my lab skills are not "fresh." I began applying to jobs last month, and I'm starting to get very scared. I know I have made major mistakes in the past, and I aspire to learn but not dwell on them. Perhaps I should look outside research science if there is a possibility of a position with upward mobility. Or perhaps I should spend more time networking and/or improving my networking strategy (or lack thereof).
If anyone has any ideas or suggestions, let me know. Sorry if portions were superfluous or overly verbose. I don't blame anything/anyone except myself for my current situation. I try not to make excuses as best I can.
Thank you and sincerely,
AM
I just graduated with an MD; however, I am definitely not celebrating like the rest of my class. I failed Step 2 CS twice, and after much deliberation by a committee at my school, was allowed to graduate without the required passing of CS; however, I cannot enter the match. My decision to go to medical school was, in retrospect, very ill-informed. I was a biophysics major and very much loved quantitative science. I also loved volunteering in inner-city Baltimore (well just gave away my school I suppose) and my experiences shadowing various specialists at the hospital. No one in my family is in the healthcare field, and looking back I undeniably made an error in going to medical school in the first place. However, I received a full scholarship and lived with my parents, so at least I don't have any student loans to pay back.
I loved the first two years of medical school (preclinical years), and it wasn't until M3 when I realized that 1) I cannot handle stress well, 2) I'm prone to MDD, 3) My public speaking skills (or perhaps social/interpersonal/communication skills in general) are horrid. I worked with my psychiatrist extensively during this time as well as a clinical advisor. I took many OSCEs and usually got slightly below average to average. I took my med school's clinical performance exam after M3 (made to model S2CS) and scored slightly above the median score for my class. I took S2CS twice (for 2' attempt I practically memorized FA-CS and my advisor, along with the SPs, told me I would definitely not fail). In Atlanta I could not control my emotions, and the only thing I could concentrate on was how much of a failure I was. Or maybe I simply do not have the clinical skills necessary to pass the exam, and the exam served its intended purpose. I don't know.
So as I said previously, I was permitted to graduate but could not enter the match. If I did enter the match, I would apply into pathology, but that's obviously not a possibility now. Unfortunately, having an MD without residency training is not much of an asset (I'd argue that it's a liability). The only jobs for which I'm qualified (that I'm aware of) are entry-level positions as lab assistants (clinical and basic science). I sent a sample resume/CL to two physician-scientists that I know very well, and they both said the biggest problem is that my MD is a red flag (i.e. applicant either has major character flaw or is not serious about job). I have worked in many biochemistry, biophysics, and microbiology labs and worked on individual research projects; however, my lab skills are not "fresh." I began applying to jobs last month, and I'm starting to get very scared. I know I have made major mistakes in the past, and I aspire to learn but not dwell on them. Perhaps I should look outside research science if there is a possibility of a position with upward mobility. Or perhaps I should spend more time networking and/or improving my networking strategy (or lack thereof).
If anyone has any ideas or suggestions, let me know. Sorry if portions were superfluous or overly verbose. I don't blame anything/anyone except myself for my current situation. I try not to make excuses as best I can.
Thank you and sincerely,
AM
