In a relationship but still lonely

[Madhatter]

Both my boyfriend and I are residents - however my residency is much less time intensive than his. I love him so much, he completes me - I just feel sad because he is always at work and on the rare occasions he's off he has to do research, publish, etc. It feels so incredibly lonely sitting at home waiting for him to come home or call. He tries his best to put me first and make me feel special but I feel too guilty being demanding because he's already stretched so thin. He'll be working intensely for the next 10-15 years at least. Being a fellow doctor I understand how demanding our professions are but still doesn't take away the pain of missing your loved ones - we give so much of ourselves to medicine, I don't think people truly realize that.

There's no way I would leave him or ask him to quit his residency/fellowship. Just sucks being so alone and having so little time together.

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[SixStringPsych]

This makes me sad. And makes me have a lot less hope for a future relationship for myself (whether with my current gf or not) if they are not in the field of medicine themselves

I wish I cold provide some advice, but I am not even a med student yet. I hope you guys can find time to spend with each other soon.

 

[smq123]

Both my boyfriend and I are residents - however my residency is much less time intensive than his. I love him so much, he completes me - I just feel sad because he is always at work and on the rare occasions he's off he has to do research, publish, etc. It feels so incredibly lonely sitting at home waiting for him to come home or call. He tries his best to put me first and make me feel special but I feel too guilty being demanding because he's already stretched so thin. He'll be working intensely for the next 10-15 years at least. Being a fellow doctor I understand how demanding our professions are but still doesn't take away the pain of missing your loved ones - we give so much of ourselves to medicine, I don't think people truly realize that.

There's no way I would leave him or ask him to quit his residency/fellowship. Just sucks being so alone and having so little time together.

You really don't know how to fill the time in yourself?

Get a hobby.

Get a pet.

Exercise. Work out. Go for long bike rides. Take up rock climbing.

Learn to bake.

Learn to cook.

Learn to make your own clothes. Learn how to knit, crochet, sew, embroider.

Learn a new language.

Volunteer with your local church group. Volunteer at a local animal shelter.

Finish the complete works of William Shakespeare.

You honestly mean to tell me that you can't figure out how to fill your time, and so you sit at home and wait for him to visit or call? If you successfully went through med school, you're smart enough to figure this out. Don't be so completely dependent on him that you're unbearably lonely without him.