How to deal with being single?

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I'm sure I'll forget him. Once I find another hot, sexy male doc. Oh gentlemen of SDN, here's your chance! :p

As for your hot male doc issue, here is what you do. Observe him from far away, and see if he has a wedding ring. If no ring and no visible girlfriend, make sure you look HOT one day and approach him. Find out what specialty he is in first, and then say casually "hey I'm a 2nd year. Can you give me some tips for 3rd and 4th year so that I can match into your specialty?" then keep chatting casually and say "oh I have to go, but how bout I get your contact info, email, phone number, just in case I have any more questions, thanks for your help." Keep talking to him the next few weeks and gauge him, if you are a hot girl like me (which you sound like you are) no guy is gonna turn down the chance to help a pretty girl out :D

i probably won't ask the dean, but every now and then i spy a HOT doc (for the past year and a half) at the cafe in the hospital and i just soo wanna hit on him. i'm a lowly m2 and his long coat is intimidating! do docs even mind getting hit on at work?
is it "frowned upon" to hit on him or at least buy him a cup of coffee? i wanna bite him. oh yeah, and back to the original post -- maybe sdn should start an online dating community :laugh::D

honey, it happens. it happened to me a few years ago. don't let it bring YOU down -- there are other reasons this happened, and in no order: 1) he's got insecurity issues a la "if you wanna be happy for the rest of your life..." 2) it's true ugly love and now you can't stand between that, no?
for some reason, Flavor of Love comes to mind...edit: one more thing -- swing dancing is fun! not a place to meet guys thoughs. mostly guys you don't wanna date, or guys who are in the "in" swing dance cliques. weird phenomenon.

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Oh yeah and if he turns you down, no worries...I'm sure he has some hot male friends you could nail :D just make sure NO ONE else finds out about you two making out in the stairwells :laugh:
 
Apparently I'm not a very good judge of character...

I think this is one of those sentiments that just about everyone has when they experience something like you have.

However, I think that whichever decisions you made going into that relationship you justified however you normally would. Wouldn't think over it over too much, unless you have a track record of dating suck crummy guys. In which case, set the bar higher, and don't go for every mutt that stumbles his shaggy butt towards your door...
 
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Why is it that I keep dating all these jerks who dump me for ugly, skanky and cranky women?

Because earlier on, many young women crave certain attributes in a guy that they're dating: assertiveness, confidence, a carefree, devil-may-care attitude, a rebellious and independent streak, a certain degree of machismo, and the ability to make the woman he's dating feel safe.

Bear in mind that although so-called "nice guys" can possess many of the above attributes, oftentimes it's the so-called "bad boys" that get all the attention.

Unfortunately, they're also "bad" because they often possess other qualities that are not quite as desirable: arrogance, lack of fidelity and honesty, selfishness, etc.

Hang in there - you'll find someone! :thumbup:
 
Thanks for the support guys. Let all the good girls and good boys find each other, get married and have babies; and bad boys and bad girls find each other and keep giving each other STDs.

whichever decisions you made going into that relationship you justified however you normally would. Wouldn't think over it over too much, unless you have a track record of dating suck crummy guys. In which case, set the bar higher, and don't go for every mutt that stumbles his shaggy butt towards your door...

WOOF WOOF!!!
:beat:
 
As for your hot male doc issue, here is what you do. Observe him from far away, and see if he has a wedding ring. If no ring and no visible girlfriend, make sure you look HOT one day and approach him.

* Some of the surgery/OB/urology/ENT/ophtho residents don't wear rings. It gets in the way in the OR, so some choose not to wear them to work at all.

* No ring, and no "visible" girlfriend = potentially gay. Just a heads up. ;)

* What exactly does "visible girlfriend" mean? Unless you talk to someone, how do you know if he has a girlfriend or not? Unless you're suggesting that stalking this resident is a good idea...

Find out what specialty he is in first, and then say casually "hey I'm a 2nd year. Can you give me some tips for 3rd and 4th year so that I can match into your specialty?" then keep chatting casually and say "oh I have to go, but how bout I get your contact info, email, phone number, just in case I have any more questions, thanks for your help." Keep talking to him the next few weeks and gauge him

I am sincerely hoping that they embroider the person's specialty on their sleeves at this particular hospital - otherwise, how can she possibly explain how she knows his specialty? THAT'S going to be one awkward conversation.

You're also missing the point - working as a med student under a resident is an extremely weird dynamic. If you're lucky, they'll be friendly and helpful, but will still be considered your bosses, your teachers, and your "superiors." If you're also dating (or have hit upon) your resident, it sets up an extremely odd and strange situation that I would personally rather just avoid. Third year is stressful enough - having to work with a resident that I've hit on (and, apparently, run after, if I were to follow your advice) would just make me crumple.
 
Oh yeah and if he turns you down, no worries...I'm sure he has some hot male friends you could nail :D just make sure NO ONE else finds out about you two making out in the stairwells :laugh:

This is just...disturbing. Let me just say, one more time - as a med student, getting sexually involved with someone who could potentially be your resident, or with one of his very close friends, is an extremely bad idea. Unless you like the idea of potentially having your social life have an impact on your grades and evaluations.
 
Unless you like the idea of potentially having your social life have an impact on your grades and evaluations.

Well, that may be the only arena where some folks know they can perform at an honors level. Then again we are talking about med students, so unless there's a shelf exam on that too, probably not.
 
I agree with Slide

Being a medical school student doesn't make chicks flock to you or anything.

Infact here is a good one: I worked with a plastic surgeon. He is smart, good looking, everything I think girls want as they say. He's single. I asked him why - he said it aint easy to find a nice match. I asked what's the plan? he said keep on trying (dating)/ "back to the drawing board" (his words)

For the record he is 38. This leads me to believe that People compromise / lower their standards in order to get together or don't care enough about family life or believe in "Settling down" and deal with being single forever

Being single ain't bad if you get a healthy dose of dating / sex or what not.

I know this post was along time back, can a girl get a hookup? Is he in TX? 38 sounds like the perfect age for me. Seriosly:love::laugh:
 
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This is just...disturbing. Let me just say, one more time - as a med student, getting sexually involved with someone who could potentially be your resident, or with one of his very close friends, is an extremely bad idea. Unless you like the idea of potentially having your social life have an impact on your grades and evaluations.


wtf response is this? are you single? if so, for how many years? elementary school does not count. neither do hugs.
 
I'm very embarassed that I ever posted in this thread
 
Also check the neck-line -- it's pretty common for folks who have to scrub in to keep their rings on a chain around the neck.

Or looped around the drawstrings of their scrub pants.

wtf response is this? are you single? if so, for how many years? elementary school does not count. neither do hugs.

Actually, it's heavily frowned upon for med students and residents to date (assuming they haven't been dating since both were still in med school). Sure, it happens frequently, and rarely may even end up in marriage. But most of these brief trysts don't work, and you won't believe the grapevine at any given hospital - you thought the gossip in med school was bad? Try workplace gossip! :eek:

I'm just sayin', unless for some reason you've got an unquenchable desire to pursue a resident, don't do it. Especially if you're going to be working with that resident.
 
Being in a relationship in med school is overated! Trust me you are better of being single where you are more focused to achieve your goals! When the time is right, then it just sort of happens. In the mean time... THANK GOD!:)
 
Oh yeah and if he turns you down, no worries...I'm sure he has some hot male friends you could nail :D just make sure NO ONE else finds out about you two making out in the stairwells :laugh:

You wanna go out sometime?
 
Or looped around the drawstrings of their scrub pants.

Since I am so prone to losing things, I don't even wear mine at all on operative days.
 
wtf response is this?

Umm...the sensible response? The "I value my clinical grades highly" response? The "I dislike inviting unnecessary stress upon myself" response?

Don't date your residents, or people who might be your residents. Doing that is just unnecessarily stressful, and chances are good that you'll regret it later.

I'm just sayin', unless for some reason you've got an unquenchable desire to pursue a resident, don't do it. Especially if you're going to be working with that resident.

Even then, I'd wait until the 2nd half of 4th year, or at least until you're reasonably sure that you're never going to work with this resident. (ex: if the resident is in family med, and you're going into ortho, you're probably not going to work with this resident again once you're done family med.)
 
Umm...the sensible response? The "I value my clinical grades highly" response? The "I dislike inviting unnecessary stress upon myself" response?"

and this is the "i'm a gunner and i'm going to be single for my whole life" response
 
Umm...the sensible response? The "I value my clinical grades highly" response? The "I dislike inviting unnecessary stress upon myself" response?"


and this is the "i'm a gunner and i'm going to be single for my whole life" response
 
and this is the "i'm a gunner and i'm going to be single for my whole life" response

Actually, it's more like a "I'd like to match somewhere reasonably competitive" response.

You can date other third year med students. Even better, you can date people who are currently 1st or 2nd year med students. (Or you can date people that aren't in medical school at all!)

Do you have some kind of weird "must-date-a-resident" fetish? :confused:
 
Actually, it's more like a "I'd like to match somewhere reasonably competitive" response.

You can date other third year med students. Even better, you can date people who are currently 1st or 2nd year med students. (Or you can date people that aren't in medical school at all!)

Do you have some kind of weird "must-date-a-resident" fetish? :confused:

oh..i thought u were against dating alltogether. that would be lame. your avatar does make you seem like single gunner though :p. (least offense intended)
 
oh..i thought u were against dating alltogether. that would be lame.

If you haven't taken the MCAT yet, I'd really recommend working on that verbal comprehension score NOW. Unless you're new to this whole med school thing, and don't know what a resident is - and therefore don't know the difference between "not dating a resident" and "not dating anyone at all."

your avatar does make you seem like single gunner though :p. (least offense intended)

John Singer Sargent makes people look like a gunner? :confused:

I don't think you have a clear idea of what a "gunner" actually is, beyond just a word that pre-meds tend to throw around a lot on the pre-allo board.

My favorite painting ever, though, is La Maja Desnuda, by Goya. But I don't think I'll be using that one for an avatar anytime soon, but I wonder what THAT avatar would make me seem like....
 
If you haven't taken the MCAT yet, I'd really recommend working on that verbal comprehension score NOW. Unless you're new to this whole med school thing, and don't know what a resident is - and therefore don't know the difference between "not dating a resident" and "not dating anyone at all."



John Singer Sargent makes people look like a gunner? :confused:

I don't think you have a clear idea of what a "gunner" actually is, beyond just a word that pre-meds tend to throw around a lot on the pre-allo board.

My favorite painting ever, though, is La Maja Desnuda, by Goya. But I don't think I'll be using that one for an avatar anytime soon, but I wonder what THAT avatar would make me seem like....

You have the best avatars on SDN by far. What was the one you had with a ship in the sea?
 
I'm very embarassed that I ever posted in this thread

After seeing how this thread got semi-hijacked and the colorful responses, I'm somewhat embarassed and regretful that I was the one that started this thread (how is it still alive?) Then again, this thread also makes me laff a lot.
 
You have the best avatars on SDN by far. What was the one you had with a ship in the sea?

:oops: Aww, thanks. That's nice of you to say. :biglove:

The other avatar I had was "Dutch Attack on the Medway" by Ludolf Backhuysen. It's in the National Maritime Museum in England, and represents a successful Dutch raid on a British shipyard during the second Anglo-Dutch war. One of my history professors in undergrad wrote a book (on Anglo-Dutch relations), and used that painting for the cover.

I stopped using it, though - people said the "big boat" avatar made them think I was a guy. :rolleyes:
 
I stopped using it, though - people said the "big boat" avatar made them think I was a guy. :rolleyes:

Yeah, the norm on SDN seems to be to assume a person is a guy unless you hit them over the head with your girlitude.

So Slide, any updates since you started the thread? :)
 
Even then, I'd wait until the 2nd half of 4th year, or at least until you're reasonably sure that you're never going to work with this resident. (ex: if the resident is in family med, and you're going into ortho, you're probably not going to work with this resident again once you're done family med.)

That's solid advice, and one that many here would benefit from.

and this is the "i'm a gunner and i'm going to be single for my whole life" response

Come on, man, totally uncalled for.

My favorite painting ever, though, is La Maja Desnuda, by Goya. But I don't think I'll be using that one for an avatar anytime soon, but I wonder what THAT avatar would make me seem like....

That's a fantastic painting! But...er, you're right, probably not the most appropriate for SDN. Although for sure everyone would finally know you're a girl. :)
 
Observe him from far away, and see if he has a wedding ring. If no ring and no visible girlfriend, make sure you look HOT one day and approach him.

But what if he has an INVISIBLE girlfriend? That would be cool.
 
I don't date premeds.

Then again, that depends on what you look like...

:D :D

Well, well, well, my lady, first off I'm not a traditional pre-med. Many have told me that that I am endowed with wonderful ASS-ets. And I know that you're interested in residents that are in a particular specialty, and for that...I'll pretend to be whatever you want! :love::love::love::love::love::love::love::love::love:
 
Yeah, the norm on SDN seems to be to assume a person is a guy unless you hit them over the head with your girlitude.

So Slide, any updates since you started the thread? :)

Heh, there's not really much that's changed, except me being less bitter and angry about it. The interclass hookups between the M1s have skyrocketed even more than when I first posted (from 2 couples to 6!), but I've already decided not to tread that territory anymore. Almost everyone I've met under 24 is still either married, engaged, committed, etc., the few that I do meet that are single either are just not interested or already have preselected biases of what they want. Pretty much I've decided not to care about it anymore, and just focus on why I came to medical school in the first place. With gross and biochem over, I now have time for my hobbies again, so I'm getting over the issue. Not exactly a happy ending, but I never did like them anyway :)
 
If you haven't taken the MCAT yet, I'd really recommend working on that verbal comprehension score NOW. Unless you're new to this whole med school thing, and don't know what a resident is - and therefore don't know the difference between "not dating a resident" and "not dating anyone at all."

shush. im averaging 11s.
 
Well, well, well, my lady, first off I'm not a traditional pre-med. Many have told me that that I am endowed with wonderful ASS-ets. And I know that you're interested in residents that are in a particular specialty, and for that...I'll pretend to be whatever you want! :love::love::love::love::love::love::love::love::love:

This thread is embarassing...
 
I'm sure this has already been said, but I still want to put my two cents in. There are multiple reasons why being single in medical school sucks so bad, here is my summary (this is merely my honest view and opinion, not ment to insult anyone)

1) Most girls who go to medical school have already realized that by the time they are done they will be in their late 20's or early 30's. For this reason most girls who had any kind of relationship going into medical school cling to that relationship, and get engaged, married, or some manner of serious. This isn't helped by learning that women's biological clock really starts ticking in the late 20's (downs chances double at 30, etc). Sadly most girls will cling to their relationships in medical school unless another guy comes along and makes it very obvious they are interested (won't let go of the vine until another one is close enough to swing to, so to speak). Ive seen it time and time again. Guys aren't so bad about freaking out because its ok for a guy to wait till he's done and in his late 20's to start getting serious. The bad thing about this is it causes alot of divorces. The perecentages of people who get married during or prior to medschool who get a divorce is scary.

2) We are too damn busy to meet anyone outside of our class. I've tried it and it just does not work. What normal girl is giong to be cool with you saying "Ok sweety, we had a good time, ill see you again in two weeks when I have a break after our next big test"

3)This is kinda mean but alot of girls (and guys too) in med school think since they are going to be dr's, they're **** don't stink. They set they're standards WAY to high...sadly it actually works sometimes. Guys who aren't in medschool are very fascinated by to be female dr's. And the fact that it does work just makes it worse...If a girl that is a 6 can get a guy outside of medschool that is an 8, why is she going to date one of us dorks...

4)Medschool severly hampers your social skills. 8 Hours of studying a day in the library and never going out does not turn you into a "stone cold pimp". It gives you tired racoon eyes, a pale complection, and the ability to freeze up when that cute girl chance you've been waiting for actually finally comes along

5) EVEN if there are a few cute single girls in your class, they want someone a little older. They are giong to date the older residents and attendings and ]the older male nurses. Not guys the same age or younger that they go to school with.

I'm a 2nd year, and have never felt so single. I'm no brad pitt, but I haven't ever really had trouble dating. BUT the last two years have been almost completely dateless...I've pretty much given up and just have fun when I get the chance, and look forward to dating again when I'm out of here...
 
I'm sure this has already been said, but I still want to put my two cents in. There are multiple reasons why being single in medical school sucks so bad, here is my summary (this is merely my honest view and opinion, not ment to insult anyone)

1) Most girls who go to medical school have already realized that by the time they are done they will be in their late 20's or early 30's. For this reason most girls who had any kind of relationship going into medical school cling to that relationship, and get engaged, married, or some manner of serious. This isn't helped by learning that women's biological clock really starts ticking in the late 20's (downs chances double at 30, etc). Sadly most girls will cling to their relationships in medical school unless another guy comes along and makes it very obvious they are interested (won't let go of the vine until another one is close enough to swing to, so to speak). Ive seen it time and time again. Guys aren't so bad about freaking out because its ok for a guy to wait till he's done and in his late 20's to start getting serious. The bad thing about this is it causes alot of divorces. The perecentages of people who get married during or prior to medschool who get a divorce is scary.

2) We are too damn busy to meet anyone outside of our class. I've tried it and it just does not work. What normal girl is giong to be cool with you saying "Ok sweety, we had a good time, ill see you again in two weeks when I have a break after our next big test"

3)This is kinda mean but alot of girls (and guys too) in med school think since they are going to be dr's, they're **** don't stink. They set they're standards WAY to high...sadly it actually works sometimes. Guys who aren't in medschool are very fascinated by to be female dr's. And the fact that it does work just makes it worse...If a girl that is a 6 can get a guy outside of medschool that is an 8, why is she going to date one of us dorks...

4)Medschool severly hampers your social skills. 8 Hours of studying a day in the library and never going out does not turn you into a "stone cold pimp". It gives you tired racoon eyes, a pale complection, and the ability to freeze up when that cute girl chance you've been waiting for actually finally comes along

5) EVEN if there are a few cute single girls in your class, they want someone a little older. They are giong to date the older residents and attendings and ]the older male nurses. Not guys the same age or younger that they go to school with.

I'm a 2nd year, and have never felt so single. I'm no brad pitt, but I haven't ever really had trouble dating. BUT the last two years have been almost completely dateless...I've pretty much given up and just have fun when I get the chance, and look forward to dating again when I'm out of here...

Nice put. :thumbup:
 
I'm sure this has already been said, but I still want to put my two cents in. There are multiple reasons why being single in medical school sucks so bad, here is my summary (this is merely my honest view and opinion, not ment to insult anyone)

1) Most girls who go to medical school have already realized that by the time they are done they will be in their late 20's or early 30's. For this reason most girls who had any kind of relationship going into medical school cling to that relationship, and get engaged, married, or some manner of serious. This isn't helped by learning that women's biological clock really starts ticking in the late 20's (downs chances double at 30, etc). Sadly most girls will cling to their relationships in medical school unless another guy comes along and makes it very obvious they are interested (won't let go of the vine until another one is close enough to swing to, so to speak). Ive seen it time and time again. Guys aren't so bad about freaking out because its ok for a guy to wait till he's done and in his late 20's to start getting serious. The bad thing about this is it causes alot of divorces. The perecentages of people who get married during or prior to medschool who get a divorce is scary.

2) We are too damn busy to meet anyone outside of our class. I've tried it and it just does not work. What normal girl is giong to be cool with you saying "Ok sweety, we had a good time, ill see you again in two weeks when I have a break after our next big test"

3)This is kinda mean but alot of girls (and guys too) in med school think since they are going to be dr's, they're **** don't stink. They set they're standards WAY to high...sadly it actually works sometimes. Guys who aren't in medschool are very fascinated by to be female dr's. And the fact that it does work just makes it worse...If a girl that is a 6 can get a guy outside of medschool that is an 8, why is she going to date one of us dorks...

4)Medschool severly hampers your social skills. 8 Hours of studying a day in the library and never going out does not turn you into a "stone cold pimp". It gives you tired racoon eyes, a pale complection, and the ability to freeze up when that cute girl chance you've been waiting for actually finally comes along

5) EVEN if there are a few cute single girls in your class, they want someone a little older. They are giong to date the older residents and attendings and ]the older male nurses. Not guys the same age or younger that they go to school with.

I'm a 2nd year, and have never felt so single. I'm no brad pitt, but I haven't ever really had trouble dating. BUT the last two years have been almost completely dateless...I've pretty much given up and just have fun when I get the chance, and look forward to dating again when I'm out of here...

you do realize it's even worse in residency... relatively speaking medical school grants you almost twice as much free time (even during 3rd year wards). A 9-5 lecture schedule M-F is a luxury schedule compared to what you'll get in residency (I regretably only realized now)
 
you do realize it's even worse in residency... relatively speaking medical school grants you almost twice as much free time (even during 3rd year wards). A 9-5 lecture schedule M-F is a luxury schedule compared to what you'll get in residency (I regretably only realized now)

oh shnapps.
 
I'm sure this has already been said, but I still want to put my two cents in. There are multiple reasons why being single in medical school sucks so bad, here is my summary (this is merely my honest view and opinion, not ment to insult anyone)

1) Most girls who go to medical school have already realized that by the time they are done they will be in their late 20's or early 30's. For this reason most girls who had any kind of relationship going into medical school cling to that relationship, and get engaged, married, or some manner of serious. This isn't helped by learning that women's biological clock really starts ticking in the late 20's (downs chances double at 30, etc). Sadly most girls will cling to their relationships in medical school unless another guy comes along and makes it very obvious they are interested (won't let go of the vine until another one is close enough to swing to, so to speak). Ive seen it time and time again. Guys aren't so bad about freaking out because its ok for a guy to wait till he's done and in his late 20's to start getting serious. The bad thing about this is it causes alot of divorces. The perecentages of people who get married during or prior to medschool who get a divorce is scary.

2) We are too damn busy to meet anyone outside of our class. I've tried it and it just does not work. What normal girl is giong to be cool with you saying "Ok sweety, we had a good time, ill see you again in two weeks when I have a break after our next big test"

3)This is kinda mean but alot of girls (and guys too) in med school think since they are going to be dr's, they're **** don't stink. They set they're standards WAY to high...sadly it actually works sometimes. Guys who aren't in medschool are very fascinated by to be female dr's. And the fact that it does work just makes it worse...If a girl that is a 6 can get a guy outside of medschool that is an 8, why is she going to date one of us dorks...

4)Medschool severly hampers your social skills. 8 Hours of studying a day in the library and never going out does not turn you into a "stone cold pimp". It gives you tired racoon eyes, a pale complection, and the ability to freeze up when that cute girl chance you've been waiting for actually finally comes along

5) EVEN if there are a few cute single girls in your class, they want someone a little older. They are giong to date the older residents and attendings and ]the older male nurses. Not guys the same age or younger that they go to school with.

I'm a 2nd year, and have never felt so single. I'm no brad pitt, but I haven't ever really had trouble dating. BUT the last two years have been almost completely dateless...I've pretty much given up and just have fun when I get the chance, and look forward to dating again when I'm out of here...

I might as well have written the same thing
 
You guys I have a stalker. This is not cool! I'd rather be single and lonely forever than deal with this harassment crap.
 
And no, he is not hot in case you're wondering. My roommates call him period-face because he has a lot of zits with hairs growing from them.
 
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