How to deal with an overly sensitive, controlling senior?

[cryhavoc]

I have a senior who is making me nervous. I will be doing a thing ordered by the attending and he will just come out of nowhere with what I’m referring in my head to as “senior side quests”. Basically things that can wait until later. For example, we’ll have a patient waiting in the emergency room to come up to the floor and the attending will ask me to discharge someone quick and the senior will just came out of nowhere and be like, “I need you to schedule this patient’s follow-up.”

I said, “Sure, I’m just gonna finish up this discharge first, it is time sensitive and then I’ll do that right away.”

And he acted so offended I did not immediately drop everything to schedule a follow-up for a patient that is not leaving for a few days. Like almost an over the top reaction?

And I know it is not just me, the other intern basically hides all day so he can get his work done without this senior’s constant interruptions.

I’ve been sort of just ignoring the problem and trying to placate this senior while always keeping my attending’s directions first. But it is a hard balancing act.

And I can totally see this senior secretly hating that I don’t lick his boots all day and saying stuff about me.

He will sometimes tell me to do the complete opposite of what the attending said. And I double-check with the attending and the attending reconfirms their order (my attendings are pretty chill, I’m never nervous to ask questions) so I put in what the attending wants (and said twice now) and he gets mad at me. I never even say the senior said to do the other thing, I just pretend I’m the one asking so the senior does not even look bad. And he gets mad?

I know the general advice is keep your head down but isn’t the attending, being the boss, the one you should be most worried about? Any tips? I’m really a people-pleaser at heart so it is difficult for me to have a senior dislike me for doing what I’m supposed to be doing . . .

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[GoSpursGo]

So people who think they’re the most important and require your constant praise suck, and unfortunately sometimes there’s nothing you can do about them.

That said, I would suggest you examine how open your lines of communication are with your senior? In your first example you clearly said you needed to do a discharge first, so that’s on them for reacting the way they did. But when he tells you to do the opposite of the attending and you double check with the attending... why not say, “actually, I spoke with the attending and they wanted us to do this?” That seems like something you could have worked out on your own together, and even if he didn’t “look bad” it still isn’t great to have someone go over your head. Remember, in 6 months you’ll be a senior yourself, and you’ll undoubtedly fall on your face a few times, so imagine how you would want your interns to communicate with you.

Furthermore, keep in mind its January. It’s a crappy time of year, interns are getting burnt out, seniors are coming into their own leading the team but aren’t ready to lead independently... and there’s a pandemic. it’s a perfect recipe for everyone to take things a little too personally, so I just recommend as much as possible to give people the benefit of the doubt that they aren’t trying to be jerks.

Finally... yeah, sometimes people are just jerks, and if you really analyze all of your interactions and conclude you’ve been fair, then it is what it is. In that case do your best to just get through the month without ripping your hair out.

 

[rokshana]

next time just say, I'm finishing up something that Dr Attending asked me to do and ill take care of it.

 

[DocWinter]

Welcome to residency.
Everyone deals with bad personalities in residency. Keep in mind that being qualified to be a physician does not equate to leadership or maturity, as in the situation you appear to dealing with.
Best advice is to just keep plugging away, you won't change the person or the circumstance.

 

[Raryn]

You'll probably be only working with this person for a few weeks. Stay in constant communication with them however they want, update them on everything the attending says, and move on.

This too shall pass.

 

[dpmd]

next time just say, I'm finishing up something that Dr Attending asked me to do and ill take care of it.

That or just say yes and then do it after you finish. Unless they are hovering over you waiting for you to do it in front of them.

 

[Apollyon]

That or just say yes and then do it after you finish. Unless they are hovering over you waiting for you to do it in front of them.

That's the feeling that I got from their post - like my mother's habit of knowing what she wanted to do for hours, but not say to me until (literally) 5 minutes before, and then get angry or sarcastic when I didn't drop everything on a dime to do it.