How personal is too personal for the interview?

[adviceplease11]

Hi everyone I am looking for some advice. I had an interview where I was asked what my "epiphany" moment in choosing medicine was. I was reluctant to answer because my "epiphany" moment seemed too personal to be discussed in a professional setting, so I gave a kind of generic clinical experiences answer. My interviewer seemed unimpressed at and I got the feeling that she questioned my motivation after that---and afterwards I got waitlisted.

I don't know if that was actually the problem but I was wondering if for future interviews I should be honest about my real epiphany moment. Several years ago I was sexually assaulted and after the incident my ob/gyn was incredibly compassionate towards me which really impacted my ability to recover from the event. Not only did she say the right things to make me feel comfortable, but she made me feel safe in a situation where I was so scared (of pregnancy/STDs) due to her expertise and role as a physician, and that made me really admire her profession and want to pursue that career. It also shaped my beliefs on what kind of doctor I should be (one that delivers truly patient-centered care) because I had also encountered previous healthcare professionals who were less kind. Of course there were many other experiences that led to me wanting to be a doctor (basic clinical experience stuff) but that was kind of my moment of clarity.

I know that this kind of topic will make interviewers feel uncomfortable, and it's kind of taboo, but I also wonder if I'm doing myself a disservice because I think a big weakness in my application is that I don't have that epiphany moment and I seem kind of directionless. Should I maybe bring it up in a more euphemistic way ("I had a difficult experience and my doctors helped me through it")? Will it seem sketchy if I leave out details? Or should I just not bring it up at all? I think I can talk about it without getting too emotional as long as it's not too in detail.

Thanks for your advice.

---

Members don't see this ad.

 

[LizzyM]

You could go with a euphemism such as assaulted or violently attacked. You can still talk about the physician's skill, compassion, etc.

 

[medicalstadent]

This is a big part of your app. Getting a bit emotiional is not a bad thing. Just dont make it too cheesy.

 

[El-Rami]

I would personally refrain from thinking something is "too personal" unless it deals with specifics of your own medical history. Of course, you may feel free disclosing certain things about your medical history if it is directly relevant to your motivation for pursuing medicine. I feel it is also okay to demonstrate that you are a real human being capable of empathy, so if you get a little emotional, that's okay. Obviously, you don't want to start crying uncontrollably because that may raise concern over whether or not you are capable of handling the emotional toll of medical practice. However, if you can show that you are a well-adjusted, genuine, compassionate, and empathetic individual, that can only be a good thing.

The bottom line: Don't be afraid to tell your story, even if it feels "too personal."

 

[medicalCPA]

I will preface this with a caveat in that I'm still waiting to hear back from most of my interviews, but your interviewer will be more impressed by sincerity, even when the topic is a sensitive one, than by a generic answer you give because you think it's what they want to hear. The person interviewing you is not a fool, and I would like to believe that when you are asked such a question that invites you to be honest, your interviewer would not then view you negatively when you answer the question with the honesty you were asked for (as long as you aren't admitting doing anything illegal or displaying gross lack of judgment).

Respect your interviewer by giving him your story and letting him deal with it, instead of deciding for them that they will be incapable of handling the truth of your circumstances.

 

[adviceplease11]

Thank you everyone for the kind advice. I will try to muster up the courage to bring it up at my next interview, deep down I was really hitting myself for not talking about it earlier. I do fear that someone may get misconceptions about my judgement if they know I was assaulted, but I guess that's just a risk I'll have to take.

 

[El-Rami]

Thank you everyone for the kind advice. I will try to muster up the courage to bring it up at my next interview, deep down I was really hitting myself for not talking about it earlier. I do fear that someone may get misconceptions about my judgement if they know I was assaulted, but I guess that's just a risk I'll have to take.

If they have misconceptions about your judgement for getting sexually assaulted, you can tell them off...

 

[Goro]

Another way of spinning this is simply say:

"Several years ago my ob/gyn was incredibly compassionate towards me. Not only did she say the right things to make me feel comfortable, due to her expertise and role as a physician, and that made me really admire her profession and want to pursue that career. It also shaped my beliefs on what kind of doctor I should be (one that delivers truly patient-centered care) because I had also encountered previous healthcare professionals who were less kind. Of course there were many other experiences that led to me wanting to be a doctor (basic clinical experience stuff) but that was kind of my moment of clarity."


Whaddya think?

Hi everyone I am looking for some advice. I had an interview where I was asked what my "epiphany" moment in choosing medicine was. I was reluctant to answer because my "epiphany" moment seemed too personal to be discussed in a professional setting, so I gave a kind of generic clinical experiences answer. My interviewer seemed unimpressed at and I got the feeling that she questioned my motivation after that---and afterwards I got waitlisted.

I don't know if that was actually the problem but I was wondering if for future interviews I should be honest about my real epiphany moment. Several years ago I was sexually assaulted and after the incident my ob/gyn was incredibly compassionate towards me which really impacted my ability to recover from the event. Not only did she say the right things to make me feel comfortable, but she made me feel safe in a situation where I was so scared (of pregnancy/STDs) due to her expertise and role as a physician, and that made me really admire her profession and want to pursue that career. It also shaped my beliefs on what kind of doctor I should be (one that delivers truly patient-centered care) because I had also encountered previous healthcare professionals who were less kind. Of course there were many other experiences that led to me wanting to be a doctor (basic clinical experience stuff) but that was kind of my moment of clarity.

I know that this kind of topic will make interviewers feel uncomfortable, and it's kind of taboo, but I also wonder if I'm doing myself a disservice because I think a big weakness in my application is that I don't have that epiphany moment and I seem kind of directionless. Should I maybe bring it up in a more euphemistic way ("I had a difficult experience and my doctors helped me through it")? Will it seem sketchy if I leave out details? Or should I just not bring it up at all? I think I can talk about it without getting too emotional as long as it's not too in detail.

Thanks for your advice.

 

[futuremdforme]

First, I'm sorry that you went through this.

Second, I find this question hard because adcoms seem to want a specific "moment of seeing the light" but medical experiences can be incredibly personal, or can be more gradual and therefore less interesting for an interview. I explained that my decision was not really one moment but a gradual thing, and the interviewer kept pushing me, and refused to take my answer, when I was being as honest as possible! It's a question that there are right and wrong answers to for the interview, but not in real life.

If you want to depersonalize it further, you could say that after a trauma, your physician was very kind to you. It would make it less clear that you were sexually assaulted and seeing an ob-gyn. (It would apply after a car accident, for example.) I really don't think that anyone would judge you. It's just a level of your comfort and your ability to stay composed telling such a personal story.

 

[DokterMom]

I agree with LizzyM here -- The depth of your emotional response to truly compassionate care in such a traumatic situation makes sense and rings true. But to claim an epiphany from an 'ordinary' OB/Gyn appointment or after some other kind of unspecified trauma could paint you as overly sensitive. But contrasting the care this particular physician showed as opposed to the 'competent but less compassionate' care -- again, it rings true. (You don't want to bad-mouth any of the other doctors -- just say that you experienced what a difference it can be.) You can also add that it's difficult for you to talk about -- also true, understandable, and will keep the conversation short.

 

[Vandelay Industries]

Great advice from all. On the residency interview trail I was asked another generic question, that for me had a very personal answer: "Tell me about the hardest thing you had to overcome during medical school?". For me it was a parent passing away suddenly halfway across the country in the middle of first year. I tried to answer the question genuinely, but without making the interviewer uncomfortable. For me, that involved not drawing my answer out or going into unnecessary detail. In the end, I think it worked well because the interviewer was really moved.

So, I think that the best advice is to depersonalize it slightly, choose your wording carefully, but answer genuinely. Interviewers will remember you as a sincere individual with great personal insight.

 

[235009]

You could go with a euphemism such as assaulted or violently attacked. You can still talk about the physician's skill, compassion, etc.

Agreed. No one is gonna fact check your story. I'm sure it would be an equally compelling and valid story if you simply omit the fact that it was a sexual assault and be vague about what kind of Dr it was.

Another way of spinning this is simply say:

"Several years ago my ob/gyn was incredibly compassionate towards me. Not only did she say the right things to make me feel comfortable, due to her expertise and role as a physician, and that made me really admire her profession and want to pursue that career. It also shaped my beliefs on what kind of doctor I should be (one that delivers truly patient-centered care) because I had also encountered previous healthcare professionals who were less kind. Of course there were many other experiences that led to me wanting to be a doctor (basic clinical experience stuff) but that was kind of my moment of clarity."


Whaddya think?

I would strongly recommend avoiding saying anything negative. Always try to keep a positive tone to your answers. Saying that you encountered healthcare professionals that were less kind doesn't add anything to your answer or your story and just makes you seem judgemental and like a know-it-all.

 

[feather421]

I talked about some pretty personal family stuff in some of my interviews, and have only received positive feedback from both my interviews and the admissions decisions following those interviews. Really, it's ok. Most of the people you'll be talking to are physicians, and will display sensitivity and tact. And honestly, this is the type of situation that if an interviewer did NOT display sensitivity or tact (blaming you, asking you invasive questions that imply you were at fault), I think it would be a strong case to let the admissions staff know so that they can schedule a different interview for you.

I would love to be a student interviewer in the next couple years, and if I met someone with your story, I would absolutely understand where you were coming from and not think you were being too personal. There are a lot of people, even medical students and doctors, who have similar experiences, or have friends and family with similar experiences. I hope your cycle goes well.

 

[moisne]

"epiphany" moment in choosing medicine was. I was reluctant to answer because my "epiphany" moment seemed too personal to be discussed in a professional setting

This is NOT too personal. This is a question you will get asked at most places.

Things that are too personal - are usually things irrelevant to the field and why you want to be a doctor. ie. marital status, future plans for kids (which I got asked).

 

[bananabreadhunter]

My own 'is this too personal?' question: In my last interview, I was asked how my best friends would describe me and why.

I have a close guy friend (I am male) who made a pass at me last year. I mentioned how my friend was embarrassed and asked me not to tell anyone. I spoke about how this occurred and how I have since helped my friend come out to his family / other friends. We remain close. I used this story as a way to illustrate a few characteristics (trustworthiness, calmness, empathy). Was this a fair story to tell? Should I have approached this differently?

 

[whatever5]

I think LizzyM has given you some solid advice. Without going into too much detail of your personal life, you could refer to it as a time you were struggling with a very difficult moment in your life, or at a time felt very vulnerable, something to that effect.

 

[maroonspinstress]

This is NOT too personal. This is a question you will get asked at most places.

Things that are too personal - are usually things irrelevant to the field and why you want to be a doctor. ie. marital status, future plans for kids (which I got asked).

OP is asking whether or not their answer to the question is too personal, not whether or not the question itself is too personal or inappropriate. They are looking for advice on how to balance professionalism with answering the question in an honest way. I think OP knows that this is a standard question that is asked, it's just that the honest answer may be "too personal" if presented in full detail.

 

[LizzyM]

The one thing I would caution in including personal vignettes in a PS or secondary is to only include things you can talk about without becoming emotional, tearing up, crying. If you are still emotionally too raw to talk about what happened, it is too personal to include in your statement.

@bananabreadhunter I'm not sure how your friend would describe you... "hot but not into me...???" You told a story that you hope put you in a good light but it was rather convoluted to get to the point which is what your friends would say about you.

 

[wagonwheel23]

@bananabreadhunter I totally get the intent, but this may come off as too "white savior" (not sure what the term is when it's about sexual minorities).

 

[Goro]

This is all well and good, but you didn't actually answer the interviewer's question.

My own 'is this too personal?' question: In my last interview, I was asked how my best friends would describe me and why.

I have a close guy friend (I am male) who made a pass at me last year. I mentioned how my friend was embarrassed and asked me not to tell anyone. I spoke about how this occurred and how I have since helped my friend come out to his family / other friends. We remain close. I used this story as a way to illustrate a few characteristics (trustworthiness, calmness, empathy). Was this a fair story to tell? Should I have approached this differently?

 

[moisne]

OP is asking whether or not their answer to the question is too personal, not whether or not the question itself is too personal or inappropriate. They are looking for advice on how to balance professionalism with answering the question in an honest way. I think OP knows that this is a standard question that is asked, it's just that the honest answer may be "too personal" if presented in full detail.

Oh... LOL.

And this is why I failed verbal :/