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My boyfriend started medical school about a month ago and Im having some tough moments relating to the stress he's going through. I do my best to be supportive, I do more of the chores, cooking, cleaning to make things less stressful for him. I do my best to help him calm down when he's stressed and work with him to make plans to get all of his work done when he's overwhelmed.
I know his schedule is incredibly demanding and will just continue to become more so as he continues through school. I thought it would be a good idea to ask him if we can set aside a time once a week for 2 hours where we do something fun together and disconnect from school work. We tried that for the first time today and it went terribly. He was distracted, not present and seemed to rather be studying.
I told him I was upset about that and that I understand in some scenarios our relationship will have to take a backseat to medical school but that I think it's still important to have regular moments where we check-in as a couple.
For background, my boyfriend and I have been dating for about 3 1/2 years. We went to undergrad together, did long distance for over a year while he was studying for the MCAT while working full time and we have lived together now for about 14 months. We're both on the same page about our future as a couple and have talked seriously about marriage ( not any time soon).
I also just started my MPH at the same time he began medical school, (at the same university) so I am dealing with my own sense of newness, school pressure and anxiety in my masters program.
My question is how can I be more supportive to his needs without completely compromising my own?
Am I asking too much to make sure our relationship remains as an important piece of his daily life?
How can I make this so our relationship doesn't become a burden to him or me?
How can I cope more with this new constant feeling of guilt he has whenever he's not studying?
My boyfriend says sometimes that he only has so much emotional band-with in medical school because he has so much to deal with, how can I juggle that when he is the person I am so used to turning to when I have my own stress or frustrations?
I appreciate your feedback
I know his schedule is incredibly demanding and will just continue to become more so as he continues through school. I thought it would be a good idea to ask him if we can set aside a time once a week for 2 hours where we do something fun together and disconnect from school work. We tried that for the first time today and it went terribly. He was distracted, not present and seemed to rather be studying.
I told him I was upset about that and that I understand in some scenarios our relationship will have to take a backseat to medical school but that I think it's still important to have regular moments where we check-in as a couple.
For background, my boyfriend and I have been dating for about 3 1/2 years. We went to undergrad together, did long distance for over a year while he was studying for the MCAT while working full time and we have lived together now for about 14 months. We're both on the same page about our future as a couple and have talked seriously about marriage ( not any time soon).
I also just started my MPH at the same time he began medical school, (at the same university) so I am dealing with my own sense of newness, school pressure and anxiety in my masters program.
My question is how can I be more supportive to his needs without completely compromising my own?
Am I asking too much to make sure our relationship remains as an important piece of his daily life?
How can I make this so our relationship doesn't become a burden to him or me?
How can I cope more with this new constant feeling of guilt he has whenever he's not studying?
My boyfriend says sometimes that he only has so much emotional band-with in medical school because he has so much to deal with, how can I juggle that when he is the person I am so used to turning to when I have my own stress or frustrations?
I appreciate your feedback