Having a baby during medical school?

[NTF]

I was just looking for advice or words of wisdom from medical students who had an infant during medical school. How did you manage your time? How did you manage the cost of child care? Are there resources available at your respective schools? Any responses would be much appreciated.

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[NTF]

Found out last thursday that my wife is pregnant with our first child.

 

[sunny1]

Congrats! Where are you in the application process?

I'm 23 wks pregnant btw.

 

[Lacheln]

Life does like to keep it interesting, huh? Congratulations!

 

[chanjurban]

Found out last thursday that my wife is pregnant with our first child.

First off, Congrats! Welcome to the wonderful, wild world of parenthood! I noticed you also posted in the allopathic section. I thought it might be more approriate to reply to you here. Can med school be done with kids? Absolutely! It will take coordination, good time management, and a clear understanding about expectations between yourself and your wife. It cannot be said enough - you and your wife need to see yourselves as working toward a common goal while you are in medical school. She will be making a lot of sacrifices, and you will need to think about making some too. One of the hardest things for me was knowing that I could have done a lot better on tests/ courses had I put in more time studying. But my family needed my attention.

I also have to take a lot of practical things into consideration when thinking of possible career choices - can I keep our family from uprooting by findng a residency locally? What will be my earning potential compared to my debt load in each field of interest? (Ideally I wouldn't want to think of this, but having a family makes you think a lot more practically) Will my post-graduate training leave me capable of attending to family needs? (hint - I will NOT be going into surgery).

Childcare can be done with student loans. I'm attending one of the most expensive schools in the country, and currently raising 1 child (hoping for another one). My husband works, so we're not living off of loans alone. However, I do have a number of classmates with kids - multiple kids. They are finding ways to make it work. Spouse stays at home is a common scenario, but it's not the only one. You'll likely have to live frugally, but -hey- what medical student doesn't?

Something to consider... Do you plan on living near family? Support systems will be important for both you and your wife. If you have any questions, feel free to PM me. But I'm sure you're going to hear from a lot of other medschool moms and dads.

Good Luck!

 

[chanjurban]

I wrote some responses in the nontrad forum

 

[Droopy Snoopy]

I was just looking for advice or words of wisdom from medical students who had an infant during medical school. How did you manage your time? How did you manage the cost of child care? Are there resources available at your respective schools? Any responses would be much appreciated.

Sort of depends on if you're married or single, if you're mom or dad, mandatory attendance or not, stuff like that. At my school I don't know of anyone who had a kid (that didn't have kids already) in years 1-2, a few as M3s. M4 is the baby boom year 'cause your schedule is so malleable.

 

[NTF]

Congrats! Where are you in the application process?

I'm 23 wks pregnant btw.

My end of it is mostly done for the 2008-2009 cycle. Secondaries in. LORs in. I'm just waiting for interview invites now. Congrats on your impending bundle of joy as well. We'll have to trade notes on how to handle the little one as medical students.

Thanks for the congrats.

 

[NTF]

Life does like to keep it interesting, huh? Congratulations!

Thanks!

 

[NTF]

Do you plan on living near family? Support systems will be important for both you and your wife.

Good Luck!

Most likely we won't have the benefit of family near by, but its reassuring to hear that people do make it work. I have a little bit of money saved up, and I'm hoping loans will cover the rest. I'm still in the application process, so I don't know where I'll be or if I'll get in (here's hoping). But the news has switched my top choices for schools. Thanks for the great response.

 

[NTF]

Sort of depends on if you're married or single, if you're mom or dad, mandatory attendance or not, stuff like that. At my school I don't know of anyone who had a kid (that didn't have kids already) in years 1-2, a few as M3s. M4 is the baby boom year 'cause your schedule is so malleable.

I'm married and will be the dad. I'm actually in the middle of the 2008-2009 application process. It's moved schools with independent study tracks up to the top of my list.

 

[lilnoelle]

I am a third year student (mom) with a 5 year old and a 3 year old. My husband works but its not enough to support us so I borrow the max (additional for daycare). You can pm me if you have any questions as to how this has worked for us.

 

[Steiner]

Started school with a 4 year old and 2 year old. Had another baby the day after our last exam of 1st year. It's easy if you prioritize your time. I don't really go out that often, and if I do, I only stay out for a little while and get home and in bed in time to help out in the morning. I make time for my family, even during tough weeks of school. I make it to class every day and so far am ranked in the top 10-15% of my class. For child care, first I would ask the school because they may have day care available. Next I would go to social services and apply for WIC, food stamps, Medicaid or another government insurance plan, and look into childcare assistance programs. The way I see it, those social programs are better put to use on someone who is trying to create a better life and not someone trying to be a parasite on the system forever. The thing that is irreplaceable is having a spouse who is understanding & willing to be supportive of the sacrifice your whole family is going to make. I think I am proof that is possible to succeed in medical school with children and if you have children during school.

 

[NTF]

Started school with a 4 year old and 2 year old. Had another baby the day after our last exam of 1st year. It's easy if you prioritize your time. I don't really go out that often, and if I do, I only stay out for a little while and get home and in bed in time to help out in the morning. I make time for my family, even during tough weeks of school. I make it to class every day and so far am ranked in the top 10-15% of my class. For child care, first I would ask the school because they may have day care available. Next I would go to social services and apply for WIC, food stamps, Medicaid or another government insurance plan, and look into childcare assistance programs. The way I see it, those social programs are better put to use on someone who is trying to create a better life and not someone trying to be a parasite on the system forever. The thing that is irreplaceable is having a spouse who is understanding & willing to be supportive of the sacrifice your whole family is going to make. I think I am proof that is possible to succeed in medical school with children and if you have children during school.

Thanks for the reassuring advice. And thankfully I do have a very supportive spouse.

 

[Steiner]

I also pulled tons of loans out in addition to my wife's income.

 

[RisingSun]

My situation is really similar to Steiner's. My wife had #3 the first day of winter quarter finals. We also have a 5 and 2 year old. My schedule was extremely busy but I made it through just fine. You will need to prioritize, but it is very doable.

My school offers childcare assistance for families with children, and that significantly reduced tuition for our children's childcare. Definitely also look into WIC and Medicaid - they have been lifesavers.

I think that generally speaking, some schools will be better for families than others. Some favorable qualities that I can think of off the top of my head include the availability of childcare assistance, family housing, the availability of nearby affordable daycare, school schedule where you are not in the classroom all day (mine unfortunately is classroom intensive, others are not), support group for students with families or at least school counselors who arrange get-togethers for students with families (last year there were several such parties), the ability to expand an academic year (such as stretching 2nd or 4th year over two years), availability of affordable housing nearby, ability to commute to school using public transportation or walking/bicycling, a good financial adviser who is also a student advocate and will work hard to get students the maximum amount of financial aid, and last but not least, having other students with children in your class because they are an excellent resource as well as a friendly ear who will understand what you are going through as a parent-student much more so than your younger, single classmates.

I'm sure that there are many other things that I could think of to add to the list, but success in medical school with children, esp newborns, can be pretty school/environment dependent, i.e. it would have been a really difficult year for me physically and mentally if I had to commute by car or if housing was so expensive that we had to cut corners in other areas of our life just to get by.

It can be tough but also very rewarding.

Good luck and congratulations on your wife's pregnancy.

 

[listeriaismfb]

Congrats to all...

As a fellow with 3 kids I just want to offer that, professionally, there is probably no better time than medical school to have your kids. Your hours are not terribly heinous (especially the first 2 yrs). Generally it's not a bad life in school, but it has been 5 years since med school and time has a way of softening the memory. In med school you needn't worry that your colleagues are pissed because they're stuck with your call weeks/service obligation when you deliver.

As for the financial stuff, others have settled it well.

 

[primadonna22274]

I don't have kids but am approaching 35 and starting to wonder if I'd better do it now or never.
I do think there's some truth to the fact that it would be easier (at least as a working mother) to do it in med school than while working 50 hr/wk like I have the past 8 years. The money side is a bummer but that has less to do with having kids than giving up a regular comfortable income as a PA to go back to med school.
Congrats on the baby....good luck
Lisa