Having a baby during gap year

[pnwhmt]

My plans have recently changed and I am looking for some insight or advice. My husband and I are now seriously considering having a baby during my 20 month gap between graduating undergrad and starting medical school. He is in a field unrelated to medicine and is an extraordinarily supportive man who has been with me every step of the way throughout this process. He is my number 1 fan and he understands that this will be difficult.

I will be 26 when we start trying, him 33 if we follow this plan:
8/17 - 11/17: Get pregnant (hopefully)
12/17: Graduate undergrad
1/18 - 4/18: Study for MCAT
4/18: Take MCAT (would also take in 5/18 if I needed extra study time)
Summer 2018: Have baby, submit applications (would pre-write everything, including secondaries)
Fall 2018: Interview for medical school
Fall 2019: Matriculate

My major question is actually about my application. I am a Washington resident who is hoping to attend UW. My immediate family is in the area and would provide significant help and support with the baby. Realistically, I don’t see myself attending another school in a different state in the fall of 2019 with an infant. We would not be considering this plan if we didn’t have the family support that we do in the area.

With this in mind, I want to just apply to UW. If necessary I would open up my application to other schools in the following year. I am wondering if this would look foolish to adcoms? I know applying to one school is a long shot, but I don’t see the point of spending money to apply to other schools when I would be unable to attend them.

(For reference: science and cumulative GPA are 3.9+, 2,000+ hours of scribing in ER, UC and pediatrics, shadowing at rural hospital in various specialties, volunteer hours as mentor to high school students and as a patient advocate in a clinical setting to adolescents and young adults diagnosed with cancer, decent research experience with two different neuroscience labs, applying as SES EO1 disadvantaged.)

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[pnwhmt]

Would love to hear from adcoms about applying to only one school for the first application cycle given my particular situation... @gonnif @LizzyM @gyngyn @Goro

 

[Goro]

Frankly, a "XSOM or bust" approach to getting into med school is stupid.

For a med student, there's no good time to have a child until you get to be Professor Emeritus, Therefore, go ahead and have the baby, and apply. Or get into med school and have the baby. Ditto residency. You might have to take a year off, but plenty of my kids do this. When I was in grad school, I knew a woman who was a med student, and she had not one, but two kids! She hated touching patients, and so later went into Pathology.

Would love to hear from adcoms about applying to only one school for the first application cycle given my particular situation... @gonnif @LizzyM @gyngyn @Goro

 

[LizzyM]

You will be asked in interviews what you are doing during your gap year. Will you be staying home with baby during the gap year? Would you be prepared to talk about that?

If you don't get in, you would feel ready to apply and relocate a year later?? Why not take 2 years off and then apply to 15 schools like everyone else?

 

[pnwhmt]

You will be asked in interviews what you are doing during your gap year. Will you be staying home with baby during the gap year? Would you be prepared to talk about that?

If you don't get in, you would feel ready to apply and relocate a year later?? Why not take 2 years off and then apply to 15 schools like everyone else?

During the gap year I would be staying home with the baby for the first few months before then taking up volunteering along with other ECs again. I think this is something I would be prepared to talk about. My ECs and stats are strong and I have worked very hard to get where I am. Taking the time to be home with my baby is important to me and certainly something I feel I could articulate well.

I would absolutely feel more ready to move if necessary the following year. The baby would no longer be an infant and would now be a toddler. I think that I would be more comfortable putting the child in daycare at that time, while as an infant I would really like care to be provided only by trusted family members if possible. I would like to start medical school sooner than later, so if I felt there was a decent chance to get into UW to start 2019, that's something I would like to pursue. My only concern is that I don't want to come off as "stupid" or foolish by applying to only one school, and I certainly don't want to hurt my chances of attending UWSOM by appearing to not understand the application process, which I feel I do.

 

[Goro]

It has nothing to do with your chances. What will you do if you don't get in? Or what if you get an interview you go and you decide you hate the school?

According to your plans it sounds like it will be better if you have your baby and then apply to medical school when you are good and ready.

During the gap year I would be staying home with the baby for the first few months before then taking up volunteering along with other ECs again. I think this is something I would be prepared to talk about. My ECs and stats are strong and I have worked very hard to get where I am. Taking the time to be home with my baby is important to me and certainly something I feel I could articulate well.

I would absolutely feel more ready to move if necessary the following year. The baby would no longer be an infant and would now be a toddler. I think that I would be more comfortable putting the child in daycare at that time, while as an infant I would really like care to be provided only by trusted family members if possible. I would like to start medical school sooner than later, so if I felt there was a decent chance to get into UW to start 2019, that's something I would like to pursue. My only concern is that I don't want to come off as "stupid" or foolish by applying to only one school, and I certainly don't want to hurt my chances of attending UWSOM by appearing to not understand the application process, which I feel I do.

 

[NoTownPreMed]

Looking at your schedule, hypothetically it can be done, but realistically it's gonna be really tough. I planned out for medicine years ago but had to put that aside after having two little kids. Things change when they pop up, you have a whole new set of priorities to worry about. You have excellent stats, they're not going anywhere. If you plan on having a baby, definitely put some time onto your new family and apply when you are ready.

 

[wysdoc]

You may think you will time your pregnancy perfectly to fit in your gap year. When we decided to have children things definitely did not happen on our command, it took 3 years!

 

[Meridian32]

I agree with the above that applying to only one school is suboptimal. That said, it is not unreasonable. I attended UWSOM and had at least one classmate who applied to only UWSOM for personal reasons and got in. The admissions committee will not know that you are applying to only UWSOM, so you will not be asked about this.

UWSOM is an incredible place and you would be a competitive applicant with your background and as a WA resident. Good luck!

 

[pnwhmt]

You may think you will time your pregnancy perfectly to fit in your gap year. When we decided to have children things definitely did not happen on our command, it took 3 years!

Oh absolutely. I understand that. Hoping to have things happen quickly but of course there are many variables. I appreciate your insight!

 

[MrFixIt]

Do you plan to be the sole caretaker? What about breastfeeding? Is your husband's career at all flexible or will you have live-in family members to help?

I HEAVILY advise studying for and taking the MCAT prior to having a baby or waiting until they are 6+ months. (Ideally the former.)

I have just gone through this (and am Still trucking through) and am happy to chat if you want to private message me.

 

[futuremdforme]

What does your husband do? If you moved, could he take a few months before starting work to avoid putting the baby in daycare. And btw, technically the baby would be 1 year old when you would matriculate so not even an infant!

Honestly the plan seems okay IMO, although yes, you may end up a reapplicant. You can always choose to add more schools, or not to apply that year. Having your MCAT out of the way before the baby will be key. You could decide whether or not to apply based on your MCAT - if it's marginal it might make more sense to wait and apply broadly to get in on the first shot.

 

[pnwhmt]

What does your husband do? If you moved, could he take a few months before starting work to avoid putting the baby in daycare. And btw, technically the baby would be 1 year old when you would matriculate so not even an infant!

Honestly the plan seems okay IMO, although yes, you may end up a reapplicant. You can always choose to add more schools, or not to apply that year. Having your MCAT out of the way before the baby will be key. You could decide whether or not to apply based on your MCAT - if it's marginal it might make more sense to wait and apply broadly to get in on the first shot.

This is kind of how I see it. I am okay with ending up as a reapplicant if need be and want to take advantage of an application cycle even if it is suboptimal. Doesn't seem like there will be a lot to lose besides a few hundred dollars for fees.

Yes I agree. If I did poorly on my MCAT I would certainly wait to retake and apply broadly. Assuming I do average or above average, I see myself with a pretty good shot at UW given my GPA and ECs and their very heavy IS bias.

 

[pnwhmt]

Do you plan to be the sole caretaker? What about breastfeeding? Is your husband's career at all flexible or will you have live-in family members to help?

I HEAVILY advise studying for and taking the MCAT prior to having a baby or waiting until they are 6+ months. (Ideally the former.)

I have just gone through this (and am Still trucking through) and am happy to chat if you want to private message me.

In the first year while I am not in school I would be the primary caretaker. Will plan to breastfeed but this should be a non-issue as child should be over a year old by matriculation if things go to plan. When starting school we would share the load more and family would continue to support. Maybe supplement with friends and daycare if need be.

I won't have live-in family members but my sister and mother will be living very close by and be supporting me.

My plan is to take the MCAT during the second trimester, after morning sickness but before I get too big and swollen. But of course all of this is hypothetical and we won't know how difficult it is for us to get pregnant until we start trying.

 

[esob]

From someone with 4 kids, I can promise you that mother nature will take her sweet time when deciding when you actually get pregnant, lol. A couple were sooner than expected, one took forever and one was right on time (and there was no set time for him, lol). Blocking out 3 months to get pregnant and banking your plans on that is probably not a good idea. A 6 to 12 month window is maybe a better idea.

 

[precisiongraphic]

@pnwhmt I'm a Washington resident too and know a bit about UW and its idiosyncrasies and I advise you to check out their admitted students statistics and their mission. They are very hard (IMO) on students who are high MCAT applicants. Their LizzyM average of 68 is at odds with their status as a top school so be sure that you meet their mission and craft your PS toward that mission. Luckily, WA residents no longer just have one medical school for WA (which also splits its seats among five other states) with WSU but their ideal student profile is not known at this time.

The others have good input on timing of babies and I agree that it's hard to predict when one will become pregnant. FWIW, both of ours were conceived in month 2 (which also was true of our parents' history). So your plan could work. It could also not work.

I'm of the opinion that you should go ahead and try to get pregnant if you want, take the MCAT if you're feeling well enough and pre-write your PS and secondary(ies). If you have the baby and change your mind, the MCAT will be out of the way along with the PS draft and you'll have a good start on the secondaries if you postpone.

And who knows, you may have an easy baby and apply to the UW and get admitted. The only drawback to that I see is that you'd be a re-applicant at the UW but I don't believe that they are a school that rejects or discriminates against reapplicants (some schools do).

 

[@Hazel-rah]

Here is a grain of salt, and my advice: Take it one step at a time with the larger framework penciled in.

Only you and your family can ultimately decide what's best. Why not add a couple more schools to your list? Are you sure you can only care for a child if you stay near your mom? Lots of universities have great on campus child care programs... could your mom come stay with you during high stress study times or long hour rotations?

Things will work out, good luck to you! There is no greater motivation for self improvement than becoming and being someone's parent. No other person in the child's life will have as great an impact as you and your husband on the child's psyche.

Keep that open mind you seem to already have. And be sure to attend any UW open house or other event to meet the admissions staff and get to know the school.

 

[Staphylococcus Aureus]

One thing I would say for certain is have a baby, everything else can be pushed back (2 gap years is not the end of the world if you're financially able) but theres not going to be a better time to get pregnant, the next time you have this much flexibility will be approaching high risk pregnancy age (33 at minimum). Also don't worry about some adcom thinking "WTF where was her volunteering a week after birth?!" We had a baby in my gap year and I only continued my job as being a first time parent was the most important "extracurricular" time, now I'm at my #1 school.

 

[Hannah Faulkner]

If you can financially back it up then go for it. Since you are well planned with dates and everything its the best time. Remember people always gonna hate hate hate....just stick to whats best for you and be happy

 

[pnwhmt]

From someone with 4 kids, I can promise you that mother nature will take her sweet time when deciding when you actually get pregnant, lol. A couple were sooner than expected, one took forever and one was right on time (and there was no set time for him, lol). Blocking out 3 months to get pregnant and banking your plans on that is probably not a good idea. A 6 to 12 month window is maybe a better idea.

Agreed, you never really know with these things. I'm hoping for the shorter window, but realistically I can just flex my MCAT date as needed and even take two gap years if necessary. So long as I get everything written for my application and my MCAT done prior to baby's arrival then I'm okay with it taking longer.

 

[pnwhmt]

One thing I would say for certain is have a baby, everything else can be pushed back (2 gap years is not the end of the world if you're financially able) but theres not going to be a better time to get pregnant, the next time you have this much flexibility will be approaching high risk pregnancy age (33 at minimum). Also don't worry about some adcom thinking "WTF where was her volunteering a week after birth?!" We had a baby in my gap year and I only continued my job as being a first time parent was the most important "extracurricular" time, now I'm at my #1 school.

Thank you for this! I think after considering everything over the last few months I have come to a similar conclusion. Although I would like to have it all at the very same time, biology has its own rules and I won't be fertile forever.

 

[pnwhmt]

If you can financially back it up then go for it. Since you are well planned with dates and everything its the best time. Remember people always gonna hate hate hate....just stick to whats best for you and be happy

Isn't that the truth! Everyone has your own thoughts on what the right time for things are. I need to remember to do what's best for myself and my family!

 

[Hannah Faulkner]

Isn't that the truth! Everyone has your own thoughts on what the right time for things are. I need to remember to do what's best for myself and my family!

Yes i agree every story is different...