The chief complaint isn't funny, but the attending is-
7yo boy with 1 month history of polydipsia, polyuria. Comes in because 1 day history of fever, abdominal pain, nausea/vomiting. UA shows ketones greater than the machine can read, and proteinuria; negative for WBC and leuk esterase.
Attending: This patient has UTI and gatroenteritis. I will tell the mother to wait for the UTI to go away, and then we will do a renal ultrasound [because we own an ultrasound machine].
Me: Do you think we should get a fingerstick?
Attending: HX, this is NOT how diabetes insipidus presents!
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I'm not kidding you.
Later that day, I am fearful for the child's life so I look back through his chart to see if maybe there is something that will re-assure me he's not going to go into DKA and die.
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Me: I see here that he was in 3 months ago and had a UA that showed 100 of glucose in the urine.
Attending: Now that's not very much... do you know what normal is!??!
Me: Um... zero.
Attending: Oh yes, well, for urine. Well our machine just does that sometimes. Especially if they just ate.
Really!!?!