Feels like I’m harassing my (former) attendings….

[deleted1139416]

One of them is taking forever to reading my manuscript (which he’s second author of). Another still needs to write my letter of rec which is due next month before eras closes.

I’ve been texting them about once every 2-3 days. FINALLY got one of them on a zoom call and I said “I’m so sorry for bothering you so much” and they said it’s fine.

I know attendings are busy. I know they ignore med students a LOT. But I’m feeling as though I’m having to borderline harass them. Is this feeling normal? None of them have said anything, in fact they are very nice and say they understand. And then they go right back to ignoring me half the time lol.

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[operaman]

No problem at all. Totally expected. Literally all of us were medical students not that long ago.

Honestly best thing is to work through our administrative assistants since they take care of many of these things. They often draft the LORs and help us manage deadlines. Just keep being persistent. It’s hard to explain just how much the clinical workload overwhelms the best of intentions to do anything else. I could literally work 24/7 and find clinical volume to fill the time if I wanted to. It’s simply relentless, but we all understand the plight of students. Just be polite and persistent and work through admins whenever possible since they’re coming to us daily with various deadlines and other tasks.

 

[deleted1139416]

No problem at all. Totally expected. Literally all of us were medical students not that long ago.

Honestly best thing is to work through our administrative assistants since they take care of many of these things. They often draft the LORs and help us manage deadlines. Just keep being persistent. It’s hard to explain just how much the clinical workload overwhelms the best of intentions to do anything else. I could literally work 24/7 and find clinical volume to fill the time if I wanted to. It’s simply relentless, but we all understand the plight of students. Just be polite and persistent and work through admins whenever possible since they’re coming to us daily with various deadlines and other tasks.

thank you so much! This is so helpful!

 

[MaryAccepted]

thank you so much! This is so helpful!

One of them is taking forever to reading my manuscript (which he’s second author of). Another still needs to write my letter of rec which is due next month before eras closes.

I’ve been texting them about once every 2-3 days. FINALLY got one of them on a zoom call and I said “I’m so sorry for bothering you so much” and they said it’s fine.

I know attendings are busy. I know they ignore med students a LOT. But I’m feeling as though I’m having to borderline harass them. Is this feeling normal? None of them have said anything, in fact they are very nice and say they understand. And then they go right back to ignoring me half the time lol.

Here are tips on how to approach the attending in a helpful way, a few do's and don'ts. Requesting Letters of Recommendation for Residency Application.

 

[ChordaEpiphany]

One of them is taking forever to reading my manuscript (which he’s second author of). Another still needs to write my letter of rec which is due next month before eras closes.

I’ve been texting them about once every 2-3 days. FINALLY got one of them on a zoom call and I said “I’m so sorry for bothering you so much” and they said it’s fine.

I know attendings are busy. I know they ignore med students a LOT. But I’m feeling as though I’m having to borderline harass them. Is this feeling normal? None of them have said anything, in fact they are very nice and say they understand. And then they go right back to ignoring me half the time lol.

Med students think this way because they aren't used to being in a position of power over anyone. They never mentally assume role of a mentor when playing this out in their mind. I'm currently both a mentor and a mentee, and when I drop the ball for the people I'm mentoring (e.g., was supposed to send a protocol for a lab procedure, should have sent edits for a paper last week, etc...) not only am I not annoyed, but I'm grateful that my mentee was tactful about it, and I'm embarrassed that I failed to fulfill my responsibilities. Most people will feel the same.

That said, remember that this happens because attendings simply don't care about you. They might think they care, but actions speak so much louder than words. It's not that they're "too busy." It's that you are low priority and ignoring you is of low consequence for them. I assure you they answer texts and emails from the department chair. They follow up on a fraud alert from their bank. They answer the fun text their kid sent them. Not answering your text/email is avoidant behavior. This is the same reason I didn't send that lab procedure. I'll have to dig it up from my old files. It'll take me 5 minutes, but frankly there's nothing in it for me. I didn't forget. It's been sitting in the back of my mind keeping company with the nagging thoughts about getting my oil changed and writing a Thank You note to my great aunt.

The good news is that I also think most people will write a better letter if they feel guilty about dropping the ball or keeping you waiting. It's a selfish move to make themselves feel better about how long they let it slide.

Also, every 2-3 days for a LOR due in 1 month might be too much, especially by text. As above, they are acutely aware of the deadline. They're just letting it fester and will continue to do so until there are actual consequences for not acting.

 

[EmperorK]

Med students think this way because they aren't used to being in a position of power over anyone. They never mentally assume role of a mentor when playing this out in their mind. I'm currently both a mentor and a mentee, and when I drop the ball for the people I'm mentoring (e.g., was supposed to send a protocol for a lab procedure, should have sent edits for a paper last week, etc...) not only am I not annoyed, but I'm grateful that my mentee was tactful about it, and I'm embarrassed that I failed to fulfill my responsibilities. Most people will feel the same.

That said, remember that this happens because attendings simply don't care about you. They might think they care, but actions speak so much louder than words. It's not that they're "too busy." It's that you are low priority and ignoring you is of low consequence for them. I assure you they answer texts and emails from the department chair. They follow up on a fraud alert from their bank. They answer the fun text their kid sent them. Not answering your text/email is avoidant behavior. This is the same reason I didn't send that lab procedure. I'll have to dig it up from my old files. It'll take me 5 minutes, but frankly there's nothing in it for me. I didn't forget. It's been sitting in the back of my mind keeping company with the nagging thoughts about getting my oil changed and writing a Thank You note to my great aunt.

The good news is that I also think most people will write a better letter if they feel guilty about dropping the ball or keeping you waiting. It's a selfish move to make themselves feel better about how long they let it slide.

Also, every 2-3 days for a LOR due in 1 month might be too much, especially by text. As above, they are acutely aware of the deadline. They're just letting it fester and will continue to do so until there are actual consequences for not acting.

ur kinda jaded, eh?