Do you have to have perfect relationships to be a clinician?

[stilllooking]

Hi all,

Today, my family came up to visit me at my university (out of state) and happened to catch me when I was extremely stressed (syllabus to write for course, outside commitments, technology difficulties, low blood sugar all at once), I snapped at my mother when she made a comment about the my cleaniness habits (my family tends to be the eat-off-the-floor type, I tend to be the wash your hands type.. Perhaps I've got a bit overboard in the past, but I righted it myself with some self-help advice and have never been dx'ed, tx'ed, whatever). After I snapped at my mother, my brother made some comment like, "wow, and you want to be a psychologist"... This got me to thinking--do people who want to be clinicians have to have perfect relationships? I mean, I can see there being an issue with something like boarderline pd, severe abuse, etc., but what about non-severe bumps in relationships?

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[erg923]

Bumps in a relationship are just normal parts of life. Everyone, and I do mean everyone, snaps at people from time to time. I become more easily annoyed when I'm stressed and have simply learned to handle this by making my stress level known to whomever I am around, and apologizing in advance for being rather quite and withdrawn. As this is my way of not snapping or being irritable with people.

 

[Ollie123]

Oncologists can still get cancer. Same deal.

Everyone has problems. I'd be a bit concerned if someone wanted to be a psychologist and their life was a complete train wreck, had been for years, with no forseeable change in the future. The occasional argument with a family member? I'd be more concerned if a psychologist didn't experience that at some point in their lives.

 

[nononora]

I think it is unfair to hold psychologists to a standard that is technically unattainable. Do you have to have perfect health to be a physician? The success of any relationship is not based on how well people get along, but how well people disagree and resolve their differences. Everyone has issues and deals with them differently and in a therapeutic situation, even the patient has to realize eventually that the therapist is not omniscient nor omnipotent.

Many of the professors I've encountered are separated or divorced, have poor people skills or are short-tempered, but it certainly doesn't make them bad clinicians by any means.

 

[Therapist4Chnge]

I'd only be concerned if the person's relationships are impairing to one or more areas of their functioning. Psychologists are not immune from relational discord, but it raises a red flag when they are so invasive that they cannot function at work/home, etc.

 

[PsyDr]

while i am sure many people would disagree with me, i would go one step further and state that some areas of psychological practice necessitate less relational ability than others.

the key to success seems to be, IMHO, the ability to understand your own strengths and weaknesses and to play to them.

 

[psybee]

while i am sure many people would disagree with me, i would go one step further and state that some areas of psychological practice necessitate less relational ability than others.

the key to success seems to be, IMHO, the ability to understand your own strengths and weaknesses and to play to them.

I agree! I wouldn't want a clinician who never lost their temper, never had self doubts or got anxious. My dad was an economist and people would always wonder why he wasn't rich -- I just think lots of folks don't have insight into fields very different from thiers (and we have ton's of assumptions that we bring with us regarding Doctors in particular).

 

[Cosmo75]

Technically, you can be a total a-hole outside the therapy session. What makes someone a good psychologist has more to do with how they can relate to their clients, and keep their personal problems out of the session so it doesn't affect their ability to do their job.