crying in front of a senior attending

[futuresurgeon00]

So I got yelled at by a resident - for no reason. I was answering a question that the attending asked me, and the resident snapped at me. I didn't say anything, but the second my senior attending and the program director left the room, the resident started yelling at me for always talking and laughing too much. They stated they were distracted, and I always do this. I apologized, but they said I wasn't sorry at all. They slammed the door and left, coming back a little later. When my senior attending came back, the resident made a sarcastic comment about leaving us to chat, and left again. The senior attending asked me what happened with the resident, and I couldn't hold it in, and burst into tears.
She reassured me and was outraged I was yelled at because I hadn’t even made a mistake, and I was only answering her question.

I told senior attending that I was just stressed out, and not like this normally and apologized that I got emotional and cried.

However, I don't want to be the low hanging fruit that gets yelled at because a resident has a bad day, but I also do not want to cause any problems and be arrogant.

---

Members don't see this ad.

 

[GoDental101]

So I got yelled at by a resident - for no reason. I was answering a question that the attending asked me, and the resident snapped at me. I didn't say anything, but the second my senior attending and the program director left the room, the resident started yelling at me for always talking and laughing too much. They stated they were distracted, and I always do this. I apologized, but they said I wasn't sorry at all. They slammed the door and left, coming back a little later. When my senior attending came back, the resident made a sarcastic comment about leaving us to chat, and left again. The senior attending asked me what happened with the resident, and I couldn't hold it in, and burst into tears.
She reassured me and was outraged I was yelled at because I hadn’t even made a mistake, and I was only answering her question.

I told senior attending that I was just stressed out, and not like this normally and apologized that I got emotional and cried.

However, I don't want to be the low hanging fruit that gets yelled at because a resident has a bad day, but I also do not want to cause any problems and be arrogant.

Why'd you post this?

 

[yappy]

So I got yelled at by a resident - for no reason. I was answering a question that the attending asked me, and the resident snapped at me. I didn't say anything, but the second my senior attending and the program director left the room, the resident started yelling at me for always talking and laughing too much. They stated they were distracted, and I always do this. I apologized, but they said I wasn't sorry at all. They slammed the door and left, coming back a little later. When my senior attending came back, the resident made a sarcastic comment about leaving us to chat, and left again. The senior attending asked me what happened with the resident, and I couldn't hold it in, and burst into tears.
She reassured me and was outraged I was yelled at because I hadn’t even made a mistake, and I was only answering her question.

I told senior attending that I was just stressed out, and not like this normally and apologized that I got emotional and cried.

However, I don't want to be the low hanging fruit that gets yelled at because a resident has a bad day, but I also do not want to cause any problems and be arrogant.

You need to set healthy boundaries with people. If someone disrespects you, remain calm and call them out for being disrespectful in a professional way if possible. If they are giving you reasonable criticism then take it to heart and adjust your behavior accordingly.

However, where someone may cross the line is when they become angry, raising their voice or insulting you. In those situations I’ve found that it works best to match the other persons level of aggression; if they raise their voice, you raise yours. If they close space, you take a step closer too. the idea is to not back down and make them incur a cost. That will train them not to disrespect you. If you’re going into surgery you need thick skin and need to know how to stand up for yourself. For now avoiding that particular resident might be your best strategy.

 

[oralcare123]

You are a low hanging fruit - you are a student and will be treated with no respect many times. Try to stay strong
There is an option of filing a complaint. Think many times before you file it - remember your goal, which is to graduate.
Better yet - find a good therapist or a drinking buddy

 

[futuresurgeon00]

Why'd you post this?

For advice

 

[theendisnigh]

For advice

Your feelings are completely valid OP, how crazy for that resident to just go off. Although you blamed it on stress, it sounds like you did mention the incident to your senior attending and I hope that she perhaps takes some action behind the scenes.

It infuriates me that in a culture of upholding professionalism, students are supposed to just "take" brute behavior like this. Are you able to submit a complaint anonymously? Everyone has stressful days, but that's why we're freaking professionals because we're supposed to conduct ourselves in at least a halfway-decent manner. For someone to straight-up yell like a crazy person is not okay.

 

[futuresurgeon00]

Your feelings are completely valid OP, how crazy for that resident to just go off. Although you blamed it on stress, it sounds like you did mention the incident to your senior attending and I hope that she perhaps takes some action behind the scenes.

It infuriates me that in a culture of upholding professionalism, students are supposed to just "take" brute behavior like this. Are you able to submit a complaint anonymously? Everyone has stressful days, but that's why we're freaking professionals because we're supposed to conduct ourselves in at least a halfway-decent manner. For someone to straight-up yell like a crazy person is not okay.

Thank you, I really appreciate that. I completely understand the hierarchy and if I did something wrong - It is absolutely understandable they snapped, etc. I've had attendings give out to my group because of stupidity. However, I know that the resident specifically targeted me, because there were two other people in the room who were also having a conversation, when I was being "loud and annoying". And the program director had given out to the resident earlier during the day.

I'm not sure the protocol about submitting a complaint.

However, I am debating whether I should talk to the resident or not - as much as I would love avoiding them, it's absolutely not possible. Nor do I want to "live in fear" for a resident.

Should I say something along the lines of "I understand you had a bad day, but that was absolutely not okay. I was in shock the last time, so I tolerated it. However, this is not going to happen again/do not take your bad day out on me". - obviously worded better, or should I let it slide?

 

[theendisnigh]

Thank you, I really appreciate that. I completely understand the hierarchy and if I did something wrong - It is absolutely understandable they snapped, etc. I've had attendings give out to my group because of stupidity. However, I know that the resident specifically targeted me, because there were two other people in the room who were also having a conversation, when I was being "loud and annoying". And the program director had given out to the resident earlier during the day.

I'm not sure the protocol about submitting a complaint.

However, I am debating whether I should talk to the resident or not - as much as I would love avoiding them, it's absolutely not possible. Nor do I want to "live in fear" for a resident.

Should I say something along the lines of "I understand you had a bad day, but that was absolutely not okay. I was in shock the last time, so I tolerated it. However, this is not going to happen again/do not take your bad day out on me". - obviously worded better, or should I let it slide?

I would try to open up some form of communication about the incident. If this is going to be something on your mind every time you see them, then it would be best to just address it at the right moment. Otherwise, you could just be holding onto this inner tension, which will not be doing you any good.

 

[PerioDont]

Thank you, I really appreciate that. I completely understand the hierarchy and if I did something wrong - It is absolutely understandable they snapped, etc. I've had attendings give out to my group because of stupidity. However, I know that the resident specifically targeted me, because there were two other people in the room who were also having a conversation, when I was being "loud and annoying". And the program director had given out to the resident earlier during the day.

I'm not sure the protocol about submitting a complaint.

However, I am debating whether I should talk to the resident or not - as much as I would love avoiding them, it's absolutely not possible. Nor do I want to "live in fear" for a resident.

Should I say something along the lines of "I understand you had a bad day, but that was absolutely not okay. I was in shock the last time, so I tolerated it. However, this is not going to happen again/do not take your bad day out on me". - obviously worded better, or should I let it slide?

Could you clarify what the relationship of this resident is with you as a dental student? wondering why are you in close contact with a resident? are they one of your instructors?

how much longer do you have to work with them till they or you graduate? that would kinda dictate my response.

Honestly it really sucks but I probably wouldn't do anything. wouldn't bring it up either to the resident directly. Likely could just cause more problems for you

 

[futuresurgeon00]

Could you clarify what the relationship of this resident is with you as a dental student? wondering why are you in close contact with a resident? are they one of your instructors?

how much longer do you have to work with them till they or you graduate? that would kinda dictate my response.

Honestly it really sucks but I probably wouldn't do anything. wouldn't bring it up either to the resident directly. Likely could just cause more problems for you

I come in extra to the maxillofacial department - for surgeries, outpatient, TA'ing some of the younger years courses, etc.

I don't have anything to do with them personally, they are just always there. The maxfax department is very small, so it's more just always bumping into each other/ we are in the same places. I normally don't interact with them at all, that's why yesterday surprised me - I have other residents and attendings who instruct me/I shadow.

I will be there till June 2022, so it's definitely going to be a while, and they are in the middle of their residency (2nd year I believe).

 

[PerioDont]

I come in extra to the maxillofacial department - for surgeries, outpatient, TA'ing some of the younger years courses, etc.

I don't have anything to do with them personally, they are just always there. The maxfax department is very small, so it's more just always bumping into each other/ we are in the same places. I normally don't interact with them at all, that's why yesterday surprised me - I have other residents and attendings who instruct me/I shadow.

I will be there till June 2022, so it's definitely going to be a while, and they are in the middle of their residency (2nd year I believe).

Then I definitely wouldn't bring this up.

Just try not to be in a room alone with them again.

While I don't know the exact dynamics of your dept, unfortunately a resident claiming bad behavior on your part could potentially lead to attendings blacklisting you. So just keep your head low and try to avoid them as much as possible.

Again I'm sorry this happened to you, but it could be that the resident just had a horrible day and is going through divorce, illness, death of family etc and you were the easiest target to take it out on. Try not to take it personally as much as possible

 

[Racquetball3r]

So I got yelled at by a resident - for no reason. I was answering a question that the attending asked me, and the resident snapped at me. I didn't say anything, but the second my senior attending and the program director left the room, the resident started yelling at me for always talking and laughing too much. They stated they were distracted, and I always do this. I apologized, but they said I wasn't sorry at all. They slammed the door and left, coming back a little later. When my senior attending came back, the resident made a sarcastic comment about leaving us to chat, and left again. The senior attending asked me what happened with the resident, and I couldn't hold it in, and burst into tears.
She reassured me and was outraged I was yelled at because I hadn’t even made a mistake, and I was only answering her question.

I told senior attending that I was just stressed out, and not like this normally and apologized that I got emotional and cried.

However, I don't want to be the low hanging fruit that gets yelled at because a resident has a bad day, but I also do not want to cause any problems and be arrogant.

If your username is any indication of the fact that you want to do OMFS, especially a 6 year program you will unfortunately encounter many within medicine/surgery that act this way. You need to develop thick skin, and stand up for yourself, or you will get walked all over by everyone.
In addition, I’m not trying to excuse poor behavior, but the other thing to consider is you don’t know the backstory to why the resident was extra on edge that day. There are days that I snap at things I never normally would after being awake for 36+ hours getting absolutely destroyed by call, and being treated like crap from everyone else. Stand up for yourself, but also realize you may not understand the whole situation, and try to show some sympathy if possible.

 

[futuresurgeon00]

If your username is any indication of the fact that you want to do OMFS, especially a 6 year program you will unfortunately encounter many within medicine/surgery that act this way. You need to develop thick skin, and stand up for yourself, or you will get walked all over by everyone.
In addition, I’m not trying to excuse poor behavior, but the other thing to consider is you don’t know the backstory to why the resident was extra on edge that day. There are days that I snap at things I never normally would after being awake for 36+ hours getting absolutely destroyed by call, and being treated like crap from everyone else. Stand up for yourself, but also realize you may not understand the whole situation, and try to show some sympathy if possible.

Thank you, I appreciate the advice.

I'm usually not one to take things to heart, I just didn't expect it at all yesterday. I completely understand, I don't know what's going on in their life, and I don't want to judge. You're absolutely right, I won't allow myself to be stomped over in the future.

 

[oralcare123]

Thank you, I really appreciate that. I completely understand the hierarchy and if I did something wrong - It is absolutely understandable they snapped, etc. I've had attendings give out to my group because of stupidity. However, I know that the resident specifically targeted me, because there were two other people in the room who were also having a conversation, when I was being "loud and annoying". And the program director had given out to the resident earlier during the day.

I'm not sure the protocol about submitting a complaint.

However, I am debating whether I should talk to the resident or not - as much as I would love avoiding them, it's absolutely not possible. Nor do I want to "live in fear" for a resident.

Should I say something along the lines of "I understand you had a bad day, but that was absolutely not okay. I was in shock the last time, so I tolerated it. However, this is not going to happen again/do not take your bad day out on me". - obviously worded better, or should I let it slide?

Don't explain anything to a resident. He would never understand. Pretend nothing happened

 

[theendisnigh]

Nope, can't agree with most of the advice here. We take these considerations into degrees of severity, right? It's one thing for someone to snap or have an annoyed tone with an associate because they are having a bad day. It's another to take a premeditated approach to wait until others have left the room (namely the senior attending) to yell derisively and question your character by calling you "loud and annoying". If someone is in a foul mood they act at the moment; they don't wait until others have left to voice their aggravations because they know they won't then get into trouble.

Having worked in EMS, multiple EDs, and a private practice, I have certainly heard my fair share of irate snips from other staff. HOWEVER, there is a degree of professionalism that must be maintained throughout. If a resident knowingly waits and takes his frustrations out on you, that is NOT OKAY. Like @yappy said, set boundaries and call someone out for being disrespectful.

The archaic gag rule of abuse directed at other healthcare providers is just that, archaic. Regardless of the circumstances surrounding the resident, they should have the decency to apologize for their behavior.

 

[omfsing]

I see your name is futuresurgeon. Though it sucks, this is type of stuff that happens all the time throughout your surgical training. It’s unfortunate but it’s something you learn to shrug off. Chin up, remember you’ll have a better life and career than those losers.

 

[setdoc7]

There are rules in place at all institutions now regarding micro and macro aggression. Unlike the "old days" it is no longer tolerated and there are fixed remediation standards in place for anyone found in violation. No one can act aggressively toward another co worker without risking this becoming an HR issue. Read your institution's rules and procedures in regard to this incident and follow through. There is generally no risk of retribution, as this then becomes a reason for termination. The old days are over. Live in the present. Everyone deserves to be respected. Bad moods are not tolerated.

 

[The Med-Peds Dude]

So I got yelled at by a resident - for no reason. I was answering a question that the attending asked me, and the resident snapped at me. I didn't say anything, but the second my senior attending and the program director left the room, the resident started yelling at me for always talking and laughing too much. They stated they were distracted, and I always do this. I apologized, but they said I wasn't sorry at all. They slammed the door and left, coming back a little later. When my senior attending came back, the resident made a sarcastic comment about leaving us to chat, and left again. The senior attending asked me what happened with the resident, and I couldn't hold it in, and burst into tears.
She reassured me and was outraged I was yelled at because I hadn’t even made a mistake, and I was only answering her question.

I told senior attending that I was just stressed out, and not like this normally and apologized that I got emotional and cried.

However, I don't want to be the low hanging fruit that gets yelled at because a resident has a bad day, but I also do not want to cause any problems and be arrogant.

I wouldn't be surprised if the your senior attending says something to someone - the resident or the program director.

For almost everyone else - this kind of behavior should not be tolerated. Making excuses, telling the OP to toughen up just perpetuates the worse aspects of training. The days of hearing, "oh, they always throw instruments when they are angry, don't worry" are over.

 

[DDS9994]

I come in extra to the maxillofacial department - for surgeries, outpatient, TA'ing some of the younger years courses, etc.

I don't have anything to do with them personally, they are just always there. The maxfax department is very small, so it's more just always bumping into each other/ we are in the same places. I normally don't interact with them at all, that's why yesterday surprised me - I have other residents and attendings who instruct me/I shadow.

I will be there till June 2022, so it's definitely going to be a while, and they are in the middle of their residency (2nd year I believe).

It seems you have an interest in pursuing OMFS, so at some point you will need LOR from them. Complaining about being yelled at may put doubt in a directors mind as to if you can handle residency and all the stress around it. As others have stated I would not complain, although there are certain lines if they cross then defintely speak up, but just being yelled at I dont think that is one of them.

 

[Stelbel]

I

So I got yelled at by a resident - for no reason. I was answering a question that the attending asked me, and the resident snapped at me. I didn't say anything, but the second my senior attending and the program director left the room, the resident started yelling at me for always talking and laughing too much. They stated they were distracted, and I always do this. I apologized, but they said I wasn't sorry at all. They slammed the door and left, coming back a little later. When my senior attending came back, the resident made a sarcastic comment about leaving us to chat, and left again. The senior attending asked me what happened with the resident, and I couldn't hold it in, and burst into tears.
She reassured me and was outraged I was yelled at because I hadn’t even made a mistake, and I was only answering her question.

I told senior attending that I was just stressed out, and not like this normally and apologized that I got emotional and cried.

However, I don't want to be the low hanging fruit that gets yelled at because a resident has a bad day, but I also do not want to cause any problems and be arrogant.

I’ve had more than a few run ins from rude residents and even professors.
The reality is that you are the lowest on the totem pole, but under no circumstances ever let anyone disrespect you in any way.

In that situation, I would tell the resident to stop raising their voice and to talk to me in a calm and respectful manner. I’ve done this many times. It shows the person who’s shouting that you’ve set a boundary. If they continue, turn around and walk away. Don’t talk, don’t look back and definitely do not run away.
In future when someone like a resident is shouting at you for being “disrespectful” or “not working” irrespective of how wrong they are or how right you think you are, trying to argue your point will not make it better.

As soon as you told the resident that you are infact working hard, not distracting them etc you framed the argument around what you’ve done wrong. Don’t allow the pressure to be on you, do not entertain it.

By telling them that their tone is unacceptable, and that they speaking in an inappropriate manner you are putting the frame around them.

This works for everyone by the way, so long as you remain calm.
Everyone harps on about how time is money and time is so important and you shouldn’t give your time to stupid people, but few people understand how important attention is.

Don’t pay attention to someone who’s going out of their way to evoke a reaction.

Stand your ground, make them aware of the boundaries, and if they disrespect you, leave the situation- even if only temporarily.

 

[Stelbel]

I

I’ve had more than a few run ins from rude residents and even professors.
The reality is that you are the lowest on the totem pole, but under no circumstances ever let anyone disrespect you in any way.

In that situation, I would tell the resident to stop raising their voice and to talk to me in a calm and respectful manner. I’ve done this many times. It shows the person who’s shouting that you’ve set a boundary. If they continue, turn around and walk away. Don’t talk, don’t look back and definitely do not run away.
In future when someone like a resident is shouting at you for being “disrespectful” or “not working” irrespective of how wrong they are or how right you think you are, trying to argue your point will not make it better.

As soon as you told the resident that you are infact working hard, not distracting them etc you framed the argument around what you’ve done wrong. Don’t allow the pressure to be on you, do not entertain it.

By telling them that their tone is unacceptable, and that they speaking in an inappropriate manner you are putting the frame around them.

This works for everyone by the way, so long as you remain calm.
Everyone harps on about how time is money and time is so important and you shouldn’t give your time to stupid people, but few people understand how important attention is.

Don’t pay attention to someone who’s going out of their way to evoke a reaction.

Stand your ground, make them aware of the boundaries, and if they disrespect you, leave the situation- even if only temporarily.

An important addition, there have been many people who’ve shouted at me, but out of frustration to something unrelated (I suspect the same thing happened here).

Again, if you remain calm and don’t allow that to phase you you’ll be fine.

I remember a personal story from dental school. I had my first patient for the day and due to some unforeseen circumstances my chair had been double booked.
I went to the lecturer at the time and told them that it had happened and that I was trying to resolve it (the clinic was full), when another lecturer who was in the close vicinity came up and started shouting at me “This is not an emergency, if the hospital collapses then it’s an emergency.” the entire clinic, heard it.

I didn’t make a scene, I replied “Yes Doctor” and turned around immediately to go fix the issue on my own, knowing that confronting or even arguing would not get me anywhere.

No less than 10 minutes later, the lecturer who shouted came to me, apologized and said they brought the issue up with reception so it didn’t happen again, and that they found me a seat in the other clinic. I looked him the eyes, and said “ I appreciate your help and apology Doctor, I will make sure in future that this misunderstanding doesn’t happen.”
He is one of my favourite lectures, he’s a very nice person and a fantastic clinician. Sometimes things go wrong and people take out their frustrations on the wrong people because they don’t have outlets immediately available to them.

 

[TanMan]

If you're the lowest on the totem pole, can you really set boundaries (in a disruptive or non-disruptive manner) without being blackballed within that program or profession? Also, are the standards of "microaggression" applicable in large institutions/facilities, or in private practice as well?

 

[GoDental101]

If you're the lowest on the totem pole, can you really set boundaries (in a disruptive or non-disruptive manner) without being blackballed within that program or profession? Also, are the standards of "microaggression" applicable in large institutions/facilities, or in private practice as well?

Thought provoking questions here...people are too sensitive now a days I think the ease at which people are offended by one another and report one another will just lead to less and less authenticity.

 

[Teeth and Titanite]

Thought provoking questions here...people are too sensitive now a days I think the ease at which people are offended by one another and report one another will just lead to less and less authenticity.

being terrible to others = authenticity?

 

[TanMan]

being terrible to others = authenticity?

If that's their true nature, then yes. If they're hiding but still judging you from the shadows, you'll still get the same result and judgment - except it's internal. It adds an extra layer of complexity for the applicant(s)/coworkers to figure out how they are perceived and their performance, especially if non-constructive disapproval cannot be expressed.

Edit: If you're getting yelled at, the most productive thing to do is understand why and to do better next time. I'm afraid that crying or showing weakness in a profession that's very independent/autonomous may count against you.

 

[yappy]

If you're the lowest on the totem pole, can you really set boundaries (in a disruptive or non-disruptive manner) without being blackballed within that program or profession? Also, are the standards of "microaggression" applicable in large institutions/facilities, or in private practice as well?

I've seen people use social skills and informal leadership to influence others in formal leadership.

 

[SilkyJ]

These situations only make sense in context.

If this really was a random outburst, then maybe the resident is a jerk.

If OP really is being obnoxious to the point that people are taking the time to chew them out, maybe they should reconsider their overall behavior in clinic that led to this.

Or maybe it’s door number three and this is an exaggeration of what actually happened.

Regardless of what the reality is, I wouldn’t advise filing a complaint unless this was completely outrageous and repetitive behavior. Probably best to just find a way to avoid turmoil going forward. If you’re a futuresurgeon, this unfortunately probably isn’t the last time this will happen, and filing complaints every time you get yelled at won’t get you anywhere. Humans are imperfect and life is sometimes unfair, but you have the choice to be better than the people that trod on you.

Chin up and keep moving forward

 

[Stelbel]

If you're the lowest on the totem pole, can you really set boundaries (in a disruptive or non-disruptive manner) without being blackballed within that program or profession? Also, are the standards of "microaggression" applicable in large institutions/facilities, or in private practice as well?

Thank you for the very good question/comment.
I would say absolutely yes!

I think you’ll be really surprised how being mature and setting the example can be in any setting.

You’re all going to be seeing patients or maybe you have already.

A patient doesn’t care if you’re Doctor (medical, dental), they’ll still push boundaries if you don’t set them.
It brings up a whole other argument, the argument of authority.
Patients don’t listen to you because you’re a Dr “so and so” they listen because you treat them with respect, you set boundaries and you show them you are capable. You earn that.
It’s actually the whole reason I tell other students, that they never fully earn the title of Dr as a clinician, and how it’s a title that has to be continually earned everyday, but I digress.

In the same manner, the totem pole is of little consequence. It’s more about how you react to the situation. “Registrar” “consultant” “student” these are all just titles, when it boils down to it we are all just human beings interacting with each other.
The argument of authority only really applies when someone is trying to determine who is “more right” , but even then it’s limited. A mathematics professor may say 1+1=3 after making a miscalculation, the mathematics student will correct them and say 1+1=2, if we were to follow the argument of authority, the professor is more qualified, has more experience and should be right, we know that not to be the case.

The totem pole comment I made was more about how you need to understand that it will take you some time to work your way through these issues for a while and even when you are at the “top” then patients will still give you issues like this! It was more about how this is a journey. I hope this clarifies that

 

[Iron15]

Respect is a must. It doesn’t matter if its a resident or even an attending. Don’t take **** from nobody. Just because someone has been there longer than you or knows more than you does not give them a right to disrespect you.

 

[futuresurgeon00]

These situations only make sense in context.

If this really was a random outburst, then maybe the resident is a jerk.

If OP really is being obnoxious to the point that people are taking the time to chew them out, maybe they should reconsider their overall behavior in clinic that led to this.

Or maybe it’s door number three and this is an exaggeration of what actually happened.

Regardless of what the reality is, I wouldn’t advise filing a complaint unless this was completely outrageous and repetitive behavior. Probably best to just find a way to avoid turmoil going forward. If you’re a futuresurgeon, this unfortunately probably isn’t the last time this will happen, and filing complaints every time you get yelled at won’t get you anywhere. Humans are imperfect and life is sometimes unfair, but you have the choice to be better than the people that trod on you.

Chin up and keep moving forward

Thank you for all of the advice.

The resident actually went looking for me approx a week later - asking the other docs and students, I wasn't in surgery that day but was informed.

I mistakenly assumed it was to apologize, and a week later when we happened to be alone in a room together, then proceeded to just take out all of their frustration on me again. I stayed calm, and stated that I understood that they were upset, however it's not okay to keep doing this.

If I am genuinely causing a problem - take it up with the attendings, or call me out in front of others; why is it that it's only when no one else is there that this happens.

They stated that students aren't allowed to be in the doctors lounge and they would take it up with their boss. And I completely agreed and said, yes we can go together.

I did take it up with the residency director, because when it happened the first time, I thought okay maybe they are having a bad day (not excusable, but understandable). But the second time? It was completely thought out and wasn't okay.

The residency director completed a little "investigation" of sorts, and actually found this to be a pattern from the resident (other doctors had noticed the same behaviour). It seems to be over for now, and I'm just continuing my work.

 

[AONLINE]

Out of curiosity, is this OMFS resident a man or a woman? Feel free to not answer if you don’t want to, but I have a feeling that this behavior tends to come from a specific gender. I assume that you are a woman.

 

[futuresurgeon00]

Out of curiosity, is this OMFS resident a man or a woman? Feel free to not answer if you don’t want to, but I have a feeling that this behavior tends to come from a specific gender. I assume that you are a woman.

I am, and they are a woman as well.

 

[JustFlossy]

I really hate to hear that this happened to you. I strongly agree with the notion that you have to give respect to get respect in return. No one should have to "toughen up" and take verbal abuse because of where they are on some metaphorical totem pole. I don't care what kind of bad day they were having, if they had a problem with you, there was a professional and respectful way of going about communicating that. It definitely doesn't need to happen again, and I'm glad it's somewhat resolved for now.

 

[Racquetball3r]

I wouldn't be surprised if the your senior attending says something to someone - the resident or the program director.

For almost everyone else - this kind of behavior should not be tolerated. Making excuses, telling the OP to toughen up just perpetuates the worse aspects of training. The days of hearing, "oh, they always throw instruments when they are angry, don't worry" are over.

Sounds like your med-peds responsibilities haven’t taken you into many ORs recently. However inappropriate, those days are still very much alive and well.

 

[bergus95]

how do you have so much interactions with residents?

 

[The Med-Peds Dude]

Sounds like your med-peds responsibilities haven’t taken you into many ORs recently. However inappropriate, those days are still very much alive and well.

Thank you for the snark. No, I haven't been in the OR for years.

That being said, the common program requirements for residency training apply to all specialties, not just those with nice people. Still not acceptable, should not be tolerated.

 

[Tootyfruity]

I'm sorry you're not getting along with the residents. In a surgical residency though, going over someone's head to complain is more frowned upon than an ahole being an ahole.

 

[futuresurgeon00]

how do you have so much interactions with residents?

Im not sure how it is in other dental schools, but most of our clinical years are taught and supervises by attendings and residents from various departments, so if a student is interested in a specific specialty then we can approach the residents (or faculty coordinator) and come in on our off days.

I also know that this is absolutely not the norm, but in my program Im one of the few (if not only) students interested in pursuing maxfax (as well as being interested in going the academic, research, head and neck oncology route) - and I’ve been privileged enough that the faculty has recognized and rewarded that, allowing me a lot more opportunities than normal.

 

[futuresurgeon00]

I'm sorry you're not getting along with the residents. In a surgical residency though, going over someone's head to complain is more frowned upon than an ahole being an ahole.

Thank you!

The other residents are absolutely incredible - and I’ve been learning a lot from them. I’ve also just kept my head down when it came to that resident and things are working out.

 

[HatInTheCat]

The key word here is “communication.”
Unfortunately you are a student, and to the faculty you’re disposable. You’re in a procedural based profession where you’ll always have to aside your feelings to get through your day.

If it pains you much, talk to the resident and be clear about what happened and how you felt. But also ask them what went wrong for them to react that way and state that you hope to communicate with them more effectively next time about things that may be unclear.

Stay the course, block out negativity and keep pushing. You’re almost there.