Condescending lab mentor—what should I do?

[semolina95]

I am a rising junior undergraduate student working on a research project at a medical school lab. I just started a few weeks ago and have enjoyed my work so far. I like what I've learned and I look forward to doing my work each day.

The problem is that my mentor is very condescending. She is a postdoc who leads the project and I'm the only undergrad in the lab. When I ask questions, she belittles me and gets frustrated. When I don't ask questions, she yells at me for not asking when I'm unsure. She complains about how stressful and competitive academia is. She makes very passive aggressive comments and throws her arms up in the air when she gets annoyed.

My PI is very friendly but I know that he will ultimately ask her about how I'm doing in the lab when I receive a recommendation letter from him, which is a scary thought. I feel upset because I am coming into this lab for over 30 hours a week without getting paid just to work on this project, and I am being belittled each day. I don't want to quit because then I would be wasting the summer and it would raise a red flag on my medical school application. Can someone lend any advice? I'm really sorry if this is the wrong place to post this..

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[deleted343839]

You're in a tough spot but I think it's a good idea to address this early on before you get in too deep.

First, if someone were to watch a video of this postdoc interacting with you, what would they say? Would they say, "Wow, she's annoying. Must be hard to work with her," or would they say, "She's crossing a line! You shouldn't have to put up with that abuse!" If the former, then I'd say your best bet is to ask for a meeting to talk with her and clarify her expectations of you during the year. You can say something like, "I've noticed times when you seemed frustrated with me, and I want to make sure I'm doing things the right way." If you think there is any way to continue working together, try to make it work and look at it as a learning experience.

If her behavior is actually abusive (eg, making threats, insults, or personal attacks), then document everything and report it to your PI and your undergraduate program advisor, and do your best to extricate yourself and find a placement somewhere else. Reporting specific behaviors (not your interpretation of them) is key because this establishes the record that you can use to address any future questions about the incident (though I don't think this is necessarily a "red flag").

My first undergrad research supervisor chewed me out over a genuine misunderstanding on my first day of working in the lab, and after I discussed the matter with her we did fine after that. I got my letter of recommendation. When I got into graduate school she acted weirdly vindictive, so I never spoke to her again. We each got what we needed from our year of working together. Unfortunately, sometimes that's where it ends. Some people are genuinely difficult to work with.

 

[Jeffrety]

OP go straight to your PI and state your case. She is your supervisor but she cant abuse you. My guess is shes an angry and embittered PhD who just recently found out how flooded the job market is with other PhDs. I feel sorry for her really. There is no cushy tenure track gig at Stanford waiting for her like her grad program said.

 

[CognitiveCheese]

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[ahasti2]

I had the exact same situation when I was in undergrad. I never went to the PI early enough and I regretted not doing so.