- Joined
- Aug 16, 2014
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- 63
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Hello all. It has been awhile since I have posted here, but I am at a point where I need a safe spot to vent some frustrations.
I am a second year, and I am in my second long clinical, 10 weeks, in Early Intervention. I am super interested in pediatrics, and I was hoping this clinical would give me an idea of how I would do in this field now that I have more knowledge as an SPT. I have hated this rotation so much ONLY because of my CI.
Basically, everything I do is being judged and under a microscope. If I talk about school, I'm "complaining and overwhelmed," when in reality I am trying to connect with my CI on a human level about the program. If I pause too long during a session because I am thinking something through, I am "ill prepared and don't have enough ideas or flexibility to be successful," If I am self-assessing and I say I'm going into every day with a positive attitude, telling myself I can do this and be successful, my CI thinks I am delusional and don't have the ability to adequately know my strengths and weaknesses.
You guys. I told my CI I am trying to manifest positivity every day by telling myself I can achieve my goals and She. Thinks. I. Am. Delusional.
For some background, I am doing well in PT school, my teachers all know me because I am engaged and participating, and I am always trying to be proactive, prepping for each day and each kid and using all my resources. I am not afraid to say I don't know, and ask for help, and I can accurately assess my strengths and weaknesses.
I had a meeting last night with my clinic advisor, and she has been a great advocate for me. We are all meeting on Friday to discuss strategies for all of us to finish this clinic on a positive note. My CI is only 2 yrs out of PT school, and so my advisor told me, "Yes, it sucks to be you right now. Your CI is learning a lot and trying to do right by you, but she is going about it in all the wrong ways, and it is really difficult. It just sucks to be the student that has to experience that." So I know that my concerns are being heard, and I am NOT delusional.
I am just so afraid of how every word out of my mouth has been dissected and misconstrued up to this point. I am literally afraid to talk about anything seeing that everything has been used against me in some way (I learned ALL about the ways in which I am "not interested" in my clinical last night, since I talk about school sometimes. I literally cannot believe the things she thinks about me and how she has formed these opinions.)
Anyways, I am here pouring out my heart, hoping there are some of you out there whose limits have been tested by crappy experiences with CIs, especially young CIs. I'd love to hear from you. Chicken soup for the battered SPT soul. Thanks!
I am a second year, and I am in my second long clinical, 10 weeks, in Early Intervention. I am super interested in pediatrics, and I was hoping this clinical would give me an idea of how I would do in this field now that I have more knowledge as an SPT. I have hated this rotation so much ONLY because of my CI.
Basically, everything I do is being judged and under a microscope. If I talk about school, I'm "complaining and overwhelmed," when in reality I am trying to connect with my CI on a human level about the program. If I pause too long during a session because I am thinking something through, I am "ill prepared and don't have enough ideas or flexibility to be successful," If I am self-assessing and I say I'm going into every day with a positive attitude, telling myself I can do this and be successful, my CI thinks I am delusional and don't have the ability to adequately know my strengths and weaknesses.
You guys. I told my CI I am trying to manifest positivity every day by telling myself I can achieve my goals and She. Thinks. I. Am. Delusional.
For some background, I am doing well in PT school, my teachers all know me because I am engaged and participating, and I am always trying to be proactive, prepping for each day and each kid and using all my resources. I am not afraid to say I don't know, and ask for help, and I can accurately assess my strengths and weaknesses.
I had a meeting last night with my clinic advisor, and she has been a great advocate for me. We are all meeting on Friday to discuss strategies for all of us to finish this clinic on a positive note. My CI is only 2 yrs out of PT school, and so my advisor told me, "Yes, it sucks to be you right now. Your CI is learning a lot and trying to do right by you, but she is going about it in all the wrong ways, and it is really difficult. It just sucks to be the student that has to experience that." So I know that my concerns are being heard, and I am NOT delusional.
I am just so afraid of how every word out of my mouth has been dissected and misconstrued up to this point. I am literally afraid to talk about anything seeing that everything has been used against me in some way (I learned ALL about the ways in which I am "not interested" in my clinical last night, since I talk about school sometimes. I literally cannot believe the things she thinks about me and how she has formed these opinions.)
Anyways, I am here pouring out my heart, hoping there are some of you out there whose limits have been tested by crappy experiences with CIs, especially young CIs. I'd love to hear from you. Chicken soup for the battered SPT soul. Thanks!
