careers for spouses

[fasteddie67]

Hi,
I was just wondering what kind of careers some of you spouses have. My wife is in med school now, and I've been trying to figure out my career options. I know I could do anything I wanted, but I worry that our relationship could suffer depending on my career choices. The only doctor's I can relate to are a few older married doctors, and their spouses are either housewives and/or help out at their private practice. This option is starting to sound more practical to me given my wife's time commitment needed for school, residency and when practicing, especially if we wanted kids. What do you guys think? I know anything could be made to work, but what's ideal? Those of you spouses with "careers", do you find it hard to juggle your relationship, family, etc.? Do you think it would be better to work less or not at all, and/or work with your spouse in their office(if that option is available)? I look forward to hearing your thoughts.

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[Focus E Focus]

Erm, not a spouse, but I'm the boyfriend of a first year med student in Ireland. I'm a valuer of commercial real estate. I work for a major US company so if the time of residency comes around and she's moving to the States for good, then I imagine I'd be able to apply for a transfer to a US branch in the city she matches in. My career is important to me, but then again I'm also a pretty flexible person, and my rationale is that if I'm supporting her that far, then I might as well go all the way!

By then I'll have a strong CV, and I'm an independent enough person to be able to find my own way and keep myself occupied while she chips away.

Again, we don't have a family, so it's not a case of juggling anything: our only issue is finding the time for when she's not studying and seeing her friends/family! Take each step as it comes.

Out of curiosity, what industry have your studies carried you toward? I wouldn't worry about being compatible/incompatible with your doctor/med-student SO - after all, they like you for you, and not your "innate utility" as a husband/boyfriend/man-creature. Go for whatever you want to go for - it should be alright so long as it's not working on an oil rig!

Hope my insight, however limited, helps!

 

[dotdash]

Find something very very flexible, especially if you want to have kids. Two high-powered, demanding careers in one family is too much. For a long time, it will be you (the spouse) doing all the emergency trips to the ER as well as all the normal stuff -- the dentists, the school meetings, staying home with sick children, staying in touch with in-laws, planning birthday parties, etc. etc.

I run my own consulting business from an office in my home. It complements the resident's job very well, so I feel very lucky that that worked out.

I would hesitate before taking on the doctor's-office-manager role if/when that was available (your spouse may not open her/his own practice). It makes you more or less an employee of your spouse (if you weren't there, he/she would have to hire someone) which is fraught with issues. Also, it's an administrative job, so you have to like being an administrator. And finally, you're putting all your eggs in one basket. If something happens to the practice, both of you are out of work at once.

Staying home is not an option everyone can afford, either financially or emotionally. I couldn't do it on either count, although homemakers certainly work hard, are needed, and are appreciated.

 

[sgtbrushes]

The only doctor's I can relate to are a few older married doctors, and their spouses are either housewives and/or help out at their private practice. This option is starting to sound more practical to me...

If my wife were going to med school, I would become primary caregiver/ "Mr. Mom" in a heartbeat. Do it!