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deleted984892
I have no idea what to do.
I did a general surgery residency with the plan of becoming a plastic surgeon. I did not really enjoy residency, but thought that residency was not meant to be enjoyable, especially if it is just a means to an end. I was able to barely graduate and I even matched into a plastics fellowship.
However, once I started, I was even more miserable. I became super depressed, and even has to take a leave of absence. While part of the problem was the program, I also came to realize that part of the problem was that I just really didn’t like surgery. I was convincing myself I did, but it never got me going in the same way as my co-residents. I was never driven to learn, doing just enough to get by. Now there is no way I can graduate my program, and I am just stuck. I don’t think I can pass my general surgery boards, and frankly, the thought of doing general surgery, or surgery for that matter, makes me ill. I can’t believe I have sacrificed so damn much in the last decade to only realize now that I don’t want it.
I have no idea how to proceed. Part of me just wants to leave medicine behind, but have no idea what skills I have. Another option would be a second residency, but don’t have any idea how to even do that. I could see myself enjoying ED, as I certainly enjoyed those rotations oh so many years ago in medical school. I am just so damn lost and needed to vent. Thanks.
I did a general surgery residency with the plan of becoming a plastic surgeon. I did not really enjoy residency, but thought that residency was not meant to be enjoyable, especially if it is just a means to an end. I was able to barely graduate and I even matched into a plastics fellowship.
However, once I started, I was even more miserable. I became super depressed, and even has to take a leave of absence. While part of the problem was the program, I also came to realize that part of the problem was that I just really didn’t like surgery. I was convincing myself I did, but it never got me going in the same way as my co-residents. I was never driven to learn, doing just enough to get by. Now there is no way I can graduate my program, and I am just stuck. I don’t think I can pass my general surgery boards, and frankly, the thought of doing general surgery, or surgery for that matter, makes me ill. I can’t believe I have sacrificed so damn much in the last decade to only realize now that I don’t want it.
I have no idea how to proceed. Part of me just wants to leave medicine behind, but have no idea what skills I have. Another option would be a second residency, but don’t have any idea how to even do that. I could see myself enjoying ED, as I certainly enjoyed those rotations oh so many years ago in medical school. I am just so damn lost and needed to vent. Thanks.
