Boyfriend doesn't want me to go to med school

[PrincetonDogMom]

The problem was not them wanting different things per se. The problem was he was actively trying to dissuade her for semi-selfish reasons.

And that would work for some relationships?

Not for me mind you, but some people are ok with a pushy husband telling them how to live their life, although really slavery is supposed to be over.

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[lilqu]

I have a few things to contribute to this topic, but first I'd like to say I hope you amke the right decision, life can be difficult at times .

- contrary to what some people have written here, I don't think his selfishness is unwarranted. you both have a right to have a say with regards to what each of you do in terms of life planning. you're in a relationship, you have made a commitment to one another and you hope to marry. this simply comes with the territory.
If he will not budge and this is REALLY something you want to do then you may need to split up.
- Understand his fear - his fear is correct, he won't see much of you plus the hours, the stress, the 7+ year commitment WILL affect your relationship, the prospect of marriage and starting a family.
- I recommend you try and find couples that have gone through this similar issue and were able to get through it, then talk to him and try and find common ground - you will both have to make sacrifices, that's just the way life works - and if he loves you everything will work out fine.
- lastly, stop taking advice from single people, they won't adequately help you.

 

[Parklife]

Listen, this is your boyfriend. In most circles, this is in-between f*ck-buddy and fiance. So unless he upgrades his status, or you are convinced he's The One, and you want to have babies with him, drop him, pursue your own dreams. He's holding you back for his mere convenience. Again, doesn't sound like a serious, viable, life-partner.

 

[ChubbyBaby]

So I've wanted to be a doctor my entire life (yes right out of the uterus) minus a phase when I was 8 where I wanted to be a marine biologist so i could "pet the whales". no but seriously, i've wanted to be a physician for a long while.

I'm non-trad though i was pre-med in college. Currently 27, will be 29 when I finish my current professional school (long story why I ended up here and not in med school originally but I assure you it's a good reason) so i have a couple years to mull it over.

I've wanted to try applying to med school for a long time, and this continuous exposure to patients and free clinics and my mom becoming ill and seeing a professor have a hemorrhagic stroke has just made me realize that if I don't do this now I might regret it forever.

The thing is my boyfriend (currently long distance though he says he wants to move to where I am currently going to school next year if he gets into the MS program here) is not supportive. I can understand why he isn't supportive. He is younger than me, and has told me he does not want to be the sole provider in the house or be the "only one taking care of the kids and being stressed out because you are stressed out". He does not want to be scrambling during the initial stages of his career trying to follow me around the country due to the uncertainty where you end up in terms of med school, residency, then job...
Basically the kind of life he wants is the 9-5, relaxed, nearly stress-free, going on vacations, cooking dinner together, domestic-y relationship and he does not want to bear the brunt of the responsibilities even if it's temporary. Which I totally get.

He also says that he thinks I would enjoy a more 9-5 job better and being a doctor will make me unhappy. i think that is coming from the times where i get stressed out over exams.

Thoughts? Are all relationships doomed in med school? If I go, will my boyfriend/fiance/whatever be like some kind of housewife slaving at home, changing diapers, and bringing home the bacon while I camp out at the library and wrack up student loans?

I don't know how to make him understand that I do not really like my current career path and being a physician is just kind of really important to me. I could tolerate being a pharmacist I guess, but... I don't feel the same passion towards it and i continuously feel useless when it comes to things like...you know...anything that does not involve PKPD or insurance. If I let the relationship go and pursue my career goals am I going to end up 40 years old and living in a house full of cats on account of not being able to meet anyone as an old resident? I understand that life is about balancing the family life you want and the career you want but I am frustrated right now because I want both but I can't have both.

He says he's never had a career he's really really really wanted.

didn't read the responses, but..

dump him, if you haven't already.