anyone been through residency WITH a family?

[GIGATT]

I've read all the horror stories about work hours ect. What i'm REALLY wondering is how you made it work with a family. We have two children and before we dive full-in to this medschool deal we want to be sure it'll be the best thing for our children. Hubby and I are fully capable (great GPA, drive ect) - we just have to know what's best for our family- partially based on your experience. We would like to pursue our dream without compromising our family well-being.
Thank you in advance for any info and experience you might provide.

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[Fermata]

Dr. Doan is going through residency with a wife and kids right now. Trying PM'ing him.

 

[Seaglass]

Are you both going to go to school? I have a wife and kid and so far we're doing alright.

 

[MBK2003]

I am a PGY-2 with 2 kids (4 and 1) and a spouse who works full-time (not in the medical field). It can be done with more or less pain/discomfort depending on your field and the painfulness of your residency program. I had the baby the day we started intern year and it was a brutal year. However, now that I'm no longer in my prelim year and actually doing what I like (psychiatry), we are living the good life. The only advice I can give is that if your spouse is going to be working as well, it's essential that his/her job be flexible, b/c residency programs really don't care if your kids are sick/hospitalized or the daycare is closed, they expect you to be there. Good luck!

MBK2003

 

[Cuteasaurus]

If you're both working it'll be easier. My dad did 1 year, worked for the IHS, and then went back for 2 more years of residency. My mom didn't work and there were 3 kids at the time. My dad had to work REALLY hard to pay the bills. However, if you have another income source, it'll be easier.

 

[awdc]

Anyone going through residency with a spouse in residency and kid(s)?

 

[roja]

I have a 3.5 year old. Doing fine.

Don't listen to the bull. If you want to do it, you will make it work. A woman in my med school had her 5th child during second year of med school. Her husband was military and away alot. She's a pgy3 now in ob

 

[jlw2004]

Anyone going through residency with a spouse in residency and kid(s)?

I'm only 1 month into an EM residency with a husband and 2 daughters (ages 6 and 9), so I'm reserving judgement for now.

I just wish we had family nearby to help support the kiddos when I'm not around as much as I'd like. When DH was job searching, flexibility in his schedule was one of the key characteristics he was looking for, since I knew I wouldn't have that necessary flexibility. It's not easy, but it's do-able if you want it. Just like everything else in this world.

My theory on having kids is there is NO "right" time to have them. Just bring the rugrats into the world and MAKE it work. If you wait for the "perfect time" you'll never have them. And that would be a shame.

 

[Trillgirl]

I'm doing residency now (PGY-2 in OB/Gyn) with two children, ages 10 and (almost) 6. We had our oldest when my husband was doing his general surgery residency, and before I went back to school to do my post-bacc. I became pregnant with our second during my first year of med school.

Can you do it? Yes. Is it hard? Absolutely. But my kids and I know no other way to do it. I've missed some events, but have been there for the big things. They visit me sometimes when I am on call. My husband's call schedule (as an attending) revolves around my call schedule. I honestly am not sure we both could have done our residencies at the same time. We both picked really demanding specialities and we don't have family around to lend a hand. But we did do med school and residency at the same time. Before the new hours restrictions. Thank God for hospital daycare!!!

A great site for advice and support is MomMD.com.

All the best!!!

 

[novacek88]

My advice would be to create a support structure ASAP. That means networking and volunteering to babysit your fellow residents' children. That way when you need help you have a local network of friends and family to help you. Also, try to move near family if you can or better yet, ask family to move near you to help out during your residency years.

 

[GIGATT]

I'm afraid i don't recall who asked if we were both students. The answer to that is yes; however, we are both undergrads (went back to school later on in life ) We love being the nontraditional folk in the crowd- the youngsters roll their eyes everytime we engange in conversation with our profs....its quite comical- unfortunately i do not believe the rest of the class feels the same way!
My husband is *technically* done with his BA although he's decided to pursue a minor in chem so luckily we're offsetting loan payback for a bit longer. I'm a bio major, and for the most part, have chosen to take a light load so i could stay home with the kids. Hubby carries the larger credit load for now since he's so much closer to being finished- it just made sense. Our children are 8 and 3 respectively- they have upcoming bdays.

Thinking back to your first two years of medschool- In comparison to your undergrad what would you peg the credit load to be? 15-18 or more like 18-21 *or more*?

I appreciate all of the feedback i recieved. Thank you soooo much!!!!