All you need to know for your IM rotation...

[kundun]

1) Always lie with confidence
2) Always get a second opinion
3) Steroids might help
4) It could be TB

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[PimplePopperMD]

For the surgery rotation:

1) Belly pain = appendicitis.
2) Belly pain could = gall bladder
3) It could be volvulus!
4) If it hurts, it's diverticulITIS. If it bleeds, it's diverticulOSIS. If it dances, it's most likely psychiatric
5) Remember this sentence "I would use a wet-to-dry dressing, changed three times a day". Now repeat that sentence. Again and again.
6) "Pt. seen, in NAD, 0 new complaints, continue dressing changes, consult PT" is a fantastic, and complete, SOAP note.
7) The three rules of surgery:
-- ALWAYS be on time
-- take criticism well
-- don't f-ck with the pancreas

 

[doughboy]

You guys crack me up!!!!!

 

[William Bohannon]

For the ER Rotation:

1)If it hurts -> X-ray it
2)Female chest pain -> cardiac work-up
3)Female abdominal pain -> cardiac work-up
4)Female shortness of breath -> cardiac work-up
5)Cardiac Work-up -> + enzymes = angioplasty
- enzymes = stress test
6)Alcoholic with abdominal pain -> pancreatitis
7)Everybody gets 2 l of O2 via nasal cannula
8)Everybody gets a chest X-ray
9)Everybody gets a CBC, chem profile and urine
10)When in doubt, order more labs
11)Steroids really are wonder drugs
12)People will claim that getting hit by a softball in the groin causes penile drainage identical to gonorrohea
13)Drug seekers appear on Fri afternoon
14)You can always admit to the medicine service