A Pharmacy Story.

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loo

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Let's do a little creative writing, shall we? I'll start and then y'all add to the story!

Ugh. I woke up with the worst hangover of my life today. Crap, no percocet left in my bottle, so I have to go to the ER and get some more.
I had to go to another ER to get some percocets, 'cause they all know me too good. D*mn, doc only wrote for 12? Don't they know gas is expensive?
That's ok, I'll just whip out my pencil and add a little zero at the end of the twelve...nobody will know. Allrighty then, time to go to the drugstore and get my drugs...
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loo said:
Let's do a little creative writing, shall we? I'll start and then y'all add to the story!

Ugh. I woke up with the worst hangover of my life today. Crap, no percocet left in my bottle, so I have to go to the ER and get some more.
I had to go to another ER to get some percocets, 'cause they all know me too good. D*mn, doc only wrote for 12? Don't they know gas is expensive?
That's ok, I'll just whip out my pencil and add a little zero at the end of the twelve...nobody will know. Allrighty then, time to go to the drugstore and get my drugs...
Click to expand...

TPR- consult RPh
 
...Here I am at the counter of the drugstore. My name? No, I've never been here before. Last name is "Junkie", first name "Doofus". Allergies? Umm..yeah, motrin and anything other than morphine, percocet, vicodin, dilaudid. Insurance? ...

(C'mon people, let's put our "creative" caps on)
 
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loo said:
...Here I am at the counter of the drugstore. My name? No, I've never been here before. Last name is "Junkie", first name "Doofus". Allergies? Umm..yeah, motrin and anything other than morphine, percocet, vicodin, dilaudid. Insurance? ...

(C'mon people, let's put our "creative" caps on)
Click to expand...

Nah I dont have any insurance- but I do want brand name for those 120 percocet, and ill be paying cash for them...all I have is 100's is that alright? great...Oh! one more thing i forgot! do you think you could leave 100 of those in the original, sealed bottle for me? that'd be great... your other pharmacy i went to shorted me 50 last time so I want to be sure it doesn't happen again...think it will be done in 10 minutes cause i'm REALLY in a hurry?? ....
 
Nah I dont have any insurance- but I do want brand name for those 120 percocet, and ill be paying cash for them...all I have is 100's is that alright? great...Oh! one more thing i forgot! do you think you could leave 100 of those in the original, sealed bottle for me? that'd be great... your other pharmacy i went to shorted me 50 last time so I want to be sure it doesn't happen again...think it will be done in 10 minutes cause i'm REALLY in a hurry?? ....

What?? No way did I alter that script, you a-hole!!! Gimme my drugs--can't you see I'm in pain!!!!! What you say---leave this pharmacy before you call the cops??? Oh yeah, I'm gonna call my lawyer. So I run outside. But my flipflop gets stuck in the door and I take a header, scraping my elbows and spraining my penis. I'm sweating...my sugar must be low. And my head still hurts! Somebody call the bambulance...
 
This would work better if you only write a single sentence at at time, like

So I went to the doctor to check out the rash on my...
 
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Knipps said:
Viagra
Click to expand...

...oh wait--that's the prescription I've had sitting around because I forgot to get it filled. Guess I'll fill that one, too...that is, when and if this dang rash ever goes away. The one my doc wrote for today is for amoxicillin, but I never told him or the pharmacy of my penicillin allergy...
 
Is an original prescription really required? I have 5 copies of the original prescription right here in my pocket. The other 3 pharmacies across town accepted them, so I don't see why you can people can't!
 
What! This script costs $357.94? I have insurance. Did they pay for anything??? You didn't need my card did you? Even if you did need my card, I don't have it with me. You can just look it up in the computer, right? I have Humana. :rolleyes:
 
You know, you are kind of cute. I hope the doctor calls in my Viagra and Cialis refills on time. I'm going to the Bahamas next week for 2 weeks to have sex all the time and my girlfriends don't know. I have 3 of them. Oh ****. She's behind me isn't she. Well, now I guess I have 2. No, wait, she's a slut.
 
Oh yeah...can I use amyl nitrite poppers and ketamine with this at the club tonight?
 
PharmDstudent said:
What! This script costs $357.94? I have insurance. Did they pay for anything??? You didn't need my card did you? Even if you did need my card, I don't have it with me. You can just look it up in the computer, right? I have Humana. :rolleyes:
Click to expand...

The DONUT hole? No way! Even though I get Spiriva, two Xopenex HFA inhalers, an Advair diskus, and Boniva every month, and it's now July, there's not a chance that I could possibly be in my donut hole!
 
A donut hole? Are you ridiculing me? and for your information, it's the clozapine and NOT the nightly visits to Wendy's and Burger King.:scared: Speaking of the clozapine, can you please check if the blood work has been faxed over. I really need it right now. What do you mean I have to go to get my blood drawn before they get the results? Is this place run by vampires? Ugh! You cut-throat, blood-sucking, drug-whoring people, I need my drugs RIGHT NOW!
 
What??!! You just received the fax and you need more time to fill it? I called this morning at 8 am to ensure this will be taken care of. It's now 5 pm. What happened?! Your incompetence overwhelms me! Where did you go to school? Can I get the contact information for your district manager? So does that mean I get 2 free gifts cards for this horrible service?
 
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