Worried about partner in med school

Bret42

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I'm really worried about my partner in med school, and I hope that someone here can lend some advice. My partner is a third year medical student who has considerable problems with depression and anxiety and had to be hospitalized for depression during her second year. Upon restarting her second year, she was depressed again after a month. She's just begun her third year, and after six weeks she's getting considerably depressed again. It's a pattern I've noticed several times now in which the resumption of medical school leads her to get depressed and express suicidal thoughts, among other very worrying signs of depression, to me.

I don't know what to do about this. My partner really, really, really wants to be a doctor, and often expresses denial when I suggest to her that med school is possibly the major problem here. I want to be supportive of her. I also know that medical school depression rates, and particularly for women, are considerable and that I've watched this same pattern of deepening depression play out in her several times now and cannot express how worrisome I find it. I can't help but feel like a person who is this burned out and vaguely suicidal after six weeks after having repeated this pattern multiple times in the past is someone who should not be trying to finish the next two years (and which is to say nothing of residency period) and who should be trying to find other ways to put their extraordinary intelligence and kindness to good use in society. I know that she's been seeing a psychologist and getting help for years now, but it only seems to me to be a major issue when med school is ongoing. I feel like I'm caught between wanting to support my partner's dreams and ambitions and wanting my partner to just quit this and leave it all behind for the good of her well-being before anything truly terrible happens.

Have any of you faced something like this? If so or if not, what do you suggest? I'm dearly worried about my partner's well-being, and I really just don't know how to go about this whole thing.

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Whether through counseling, pharmacotherapy, or a combination of both- depression is a very treatable illness. Is she seeking treatment? Dropping out of med school seems a bit drastic if nothing is being done to treat it.
 
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She needs professional help asap. I had a friend who battled mental illness mostly on her own, subsequently succumbing to her illness with suicide as an intern. Your partner needs help. I think it is ok to do medical school, but she really needs to pick a specialty she likes. If old adult patients aren't her thing, don't do IM and instead do peds. If she doesn't like dealing with patients period, do pathology. There will be something out there for her. Take care.
 
It sounds like you really want to be supportive which is great. The good news is that it's definitely possible to be successful and happy in medical school even if you struggle with a mental illness. In my class alone there are several people who battle anxiety and serious depression as well as one girl with pretty bad bipolar disorder. All of them cope in various ways and are doing well but getting professional help is the most important thing. Encourage your SO to look into therapy (or even help find information on this if she isn't motivated to do so) and hopefully she will do so. Good luck!
 
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