Why do such a large % of female physicians look down on men who earn less than they do?

[JohnnyWBlue]

Let's get the disclaimer out of the way first: Yes, there are always exceptions. Yes, you and/or someone you know is an exception to the rule. Got it. Well done.

Back to the question, let's please not pretend this isn't a reality. Let's not pretend this phenomenon doesn't apply to a very large % of women. If a male physician was attracted to and had a connection with a school teacher, a therapist, someone who works in retail or in travel, someone who works in the restaurant business, etc, etc... very few (if any) would discount the person because of her lack of income. It would be a non-issue. The reverse, however, is few and far between by comparison.

Not only do they look down on these men, but they feel resentful they have to pay for most of the costs of their lifestyle (housing, vacations, etc), yet these same women wouldn't think twice if they had, for example, a sister who was a $38K/year school teacher who was married to a physician who was funding all these things.

So where does this resentment come from? Traditional genders roles? Darwin/DNA? Why the double standards?

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[mercaptovizadeh]

Cuz their racyst.

 

[Mad Jack]

Social norms and biological tendencies make women see having a secure provider as desirable. That's really all it comes down to. Men also tend to develop insecurity when not in the breadwinner role, leading to a two-way street of resentment. Some people don't fall prey to those factors, but many do. Divorce rates and couple happiness are lower in these couples, which shows that, on average, a problem truly exists. Sucks, but that just is the way it is.

 

[SunsFun]

I don't want to start a flame war but you should at least provide some support to those bold claims about "large % of female physicians". "We all know that to be true (with some exceptions)" is just not gonna cut it here.


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[J ROD]

I don't want to start a flame war but you should at least provide some support to those bold claims about "large % of female physicians". "We all know that to be true (with some exceptions)" is just not gonna cut it here.


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exactly.....where is your evidence based medicine.....

 

[J ROD]

I actually find the case to be the opposite. I find plenty of these women dating "losers" and being the breadwinner. I always wonder why would they not want a better "match". I think it comes down to fear of not being the "smartest" and having the "power" in the relationship. I love these "beta" males. Got their sack tucked back.....and appear to love it! Where's my coffee, bitch! lol

I do see some relationships where the man makes less and it works well but is in a manly job like cop, firefighter, soldier. These female physicians do respect their man. Because they are so manly. It seems to work well. These ladies like to be bent over caveman style and the men are strong enough in their manhood to handle their woman making more and being smarter.

 

[VenusinFurs]

As the female of my species, I require a large number of shiny baubles in my nest and look for more colorful plumage


There is no more nuanced answer than this

 

[Beezlebub]

I actually find the case to be the opposite. I find plenty of these women dating "losers" and being the breadwinner. I always wonder why would they not want a better "match". I think it comes down to fear of not being the "smartest" and having the "power" in the relationship. I love these "beta" males. Got their sack tucked back.....and appear to love it! Where's my coffee, bitch! lol

I do see some relationships where the man makes less and it works well but is in a manly job like cop, firefighter, soldier. These female physicians do respect their man. Because they are so manly. It seems to work well. These ladies like to be bent over caveman style and the men are strong enough in their manhood to handle their woman making more and being smarter.

"Why do such a large % of tan male physicians look down on losers who earn less than their female physician spouse"

 

[Captain DO]

I needz me a suga momma

 

[northernpsy]

I am a female doc who is married to a guy who makes significantly less money than I do, but I do agree that many female docs have a preference to date men who are also high earning professionals if not also doctors. I think part of it is the idea that we judge a man's worth in our society by his professional status and ability to "provide" (something that I do not agree with myself, but I do think it is widespread in society). I think women also like having options on things such as being a stay at home mom or working part time. In my situation, since I am the primary breadwinner by a large margin, it would never make sense for me to be a stay at home mom. If I were married to another doctor, though, then maybe after I had my son I would have quit my job to raise the kid for a while.

My own attitude was that I make enough money that I don't really need another doctor's income to have a good life. I think it is nice that I was able to pick my husband solely based on compatibility rather than because I felt the need to chase after the rich guy. My husband does a lot to keep the house running smoothly and does a lot to help out with our son that I don't think I could expect if I had married another doc. It's nice that he can be flexible on things such as leaving his job when our kid needs to be picked up early from daycare. It's not as easy to just drop everything and leave work when you're a doc.