Just wondering if there were any single moms in med school reading this...i just got accepted and am starting freak out about how little time i am going to be able to spend with my daughter (she'll be 4 next year when i start)...
freaking out to the point where i'm not sure i even wanna go anymore...i thought about it before i applied, but there was always the chance i wouldn't get in, so maybe that prevented me from fully realizing my concern...
just looking for some advice i guess...anything would be appreciated!!
New member here. I am currently in my 4th year of surgical residency with 2 girls, 13 and 2. My husband and I went through some rough times my first couple of years of med school and sometimes things were not as supportive as I would have liked. My oldest was 4 when I started. Yes there were times when I felt guilty when I didn't see her. Yes, there were times when I could not see her school plays or go on field trips. There are still times when I can't spend as much time with either of them as I want. But, I made it. It is possible.
Here are a few things;
1- make certain this is what you want. This is not a road for the faint of heart, whether you have children or not.
2- If you decide you want it, make sure you have support. I could never have done it without my mother and a good daycare. A couple of good friends really helped, too.
3- Look at your studies like a job. Set dedicated, uninterrupted time. Don't study at home unless the kids are asleep. I can't get crap done at home, even now. I have to stay at the hospital or go to some quiet hide out where no one can find me.
4- If you want it, set your mind to it and don't listen to anyone else. It is possible, people can do it. Some old school attendings, usually male, will say you can't. It is possible, you just have to be creative.
If you do the math, I had my second child during my second year in residency. Again, not the best of planning. (Unplanned, but not unwelcomed.) Do-able, but you have to be creative.
If you think you can do it, you can. My husband and I have (obviously) worked things out. Don't listen to other people, believe in yourself and just do it. I knew I wanted to be a doctor from the time I was in second grade. If you have a similar dedication, you will work it and make it happen. I know there was at least 1 or two other single moms in my class. Just because you have a kid does not mean that your life and your dreams are over.
Hope it helps. The kids will grow and thrive no matter what. You are setting a good example for them by following through on your dreams and pursuing an education. Keep it up.