Postdoc applications are scaring the heck out of me. I'm not sure I can do this.

[Groupthink]

Grad school has been one big task after another, and I have risen to the task until now. I was so happy, and very lucky, to receive the internship I wanted.

But now everything after internship seems to be a horror story and an existential crisis. (catastrophizing much, lol?) I ask for advice from mentors and supervisors, and the question is always the same: "Well, what do you want to do? Where do you want to live?"

I am simply not ready to make that decision. Developmentally, I am just not ready! I do not have family and could live anywhere. Therapy is my priority. I have generalist training (as I expect most trainees receive at accredited programs and internships). I am most suited for working in UCCs given my training, but the pay is not where I need it to be. My passions are not refined. I do not know what I want to specialize in. Heck, I do not know even what I have to offer compared to any other applicant; I feel like little makes me "stand out". I know that I enjoy evaluations and hope to maintain focus on them at some point in my career, but most of these opportunities seem to require bilingualism or specialization with forensic/child/disabled populations.

The smart thing to do would be to return to the city in which my grad program is located. I have a fairly big network there, and that would help me establish myself. But the cost of living in that city is prohibitive, especially on postdoc stipend.

Another concern is my own well-being. I work nearly 50 hours a week on internship and I am exhausted every day. I recognize that this is less than a number of other positions, but I can't help be tired. People tell me it is just going to get harder after internship. This terrifies me.

I can't be the only one who is going through this identity crisis before postdoc, can I? The next steps are so unclear and I have no idea where I am headed. I feel like I lost all my goals for my work in this field somewhere along the way.

Any help would be most appreciated. Thank you.

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[erg923]

Grad school has been one big task after another, and I have risen to the task until now. I was so happy, and very lucky, to receive the internship I wanted.

But now everything after internship seems to be a horror story and an existential crisis. (catastrophizing much, lol?) I ask for advice from mentors and supervisors, and the question is always the same: "Well, what do you want to do? Where do you want to live?"

I am simply not ready to make that decision. Developmentally, I am just not ready! I do not have family and could live anywhere. Therapy is my priority. I have generalist training (as I expect most trainees receive at accredited programs and internships). I am most suited for working in UCCs given my training, but the pay is not where I need it to be. My passions are not refined. I do not know what I want to specialize in. Heck, I do not know even what I have to offer compared to any other applicant; I feel like little makes me "stand out". I know that I enjoy evaluations and hope to maintain focus on them at some point in my career, but most of these opportunities seem to require bilingualism or specialization with forensic/child/disabled populations.

The smart thing to do would be to return to the city in which my grad program is located. I have a fairly big network there, and that would help me establish myself. But the cost of living in that city is prohibitive, especially on postdoc stipend.

Another concern is my own well-being. I work nearly 50 hours a week on internship and I am exhausted every day. I recognize that this is less than a number of other positions, but I can't help be tired. People tell me it is just going to get harder after internship. This terrifies me.

I can't be the only one who is going through this identity crisis before postdoc, can I? The next steps are so unclear and I have no idea where I am headed. I feel like I lost all my goals for my work in this field somewhere along the way.

Any help would be most appreciated. Thank you.

I think you have to be able to answer the first question (what do you want to do?) to some degree in order move forward. Your geogrpaic flexibility is an asset within this process.

Everyone makes near **** money post-doc year.

 

[Groupthink]

I think you have to be able to answer the first question (what do you want to do?) to some degree in order move forward. Your geogrpaic flexibility is an asset within this process.

Everyone makes near **** money post-doc year.

Ideally, I'd run the business side of things. Open a group practice and administrate, while spending some time providing therapy and testing services. Administration is a strength of mine, and I am on an admin rotation on my internship for this very reason. But, I have been warned that specializing in administration during the postdoc year is not the best idea if my goal is to open a group practice. I've been told that it would be better to specialize in treating a certain population and use that to attract clients; I can learn the administrative skills on the job when I get there. This type of goal requires a ton of networking (thus why it'd be the more intelligent decision to return to my grad school city).

I have no idea what a specialization would look like, given that I essentially would be taking a gamble at what the market for clinical work is going to look like 5 years out when I have the license and (hopefully) the resources to pull clinicians together for a practice.

Again, that's all in an ideal world, and this world is far from it.

 

[erg923]

open a group practice and "administrate?"

This is a something that evolves over time. Likely 5 years or more. You have to actually build a demand for this practice first.

 

[smalltownpsych]

I had the same feeling after getting my degree. The main thing is to get a job that will provide you the supervised experience you need for licensure. Apply to places that seem to fit with what you can do and what you want to do and take the job that hires you. If you have had the solid training and experience that it takes to make a psychologist then you have the skills necessary to succeed so long as you just keep jumpin' them hurdles. Good luck.

 

[AcronymAllergy]

open a group practice and "administrate?"

This is a something that evolves over time. Likely 5 years or more. You have to actually build a demand for this practice first.

Yep, exactly.

To the OP--sounds like you've got more of an idea of what you'd like to do than you give yourself credit for having. Perhaps consider a post-doc (formal or informal) at a private practice, followed by being hired on (there or elsewhere) as a private practice psychologist, so that you can get some on-the-job training on the administrative side, and some first-hand experience RE: what makes a successful/unsuccessful practice?

Agreed that your geographic flexibility is a huge asset. Finding or creating jobs for psychologists isn't terribly hard; it mostly gets tricky once you start placing restrictions on both what you want to do and where you want to do it.

And to help alleviate some anxiety--no, it's not necessarily the case that you're going to work even longer days after internship. It all depends on where you go and what you do. If you go the PP route, especially if that involves starting your own practice, it'll likely include a hefty hours investment early on...although this would hopefully pay off (figuratively and literally) after a few years. And hey, those are hours you're spent working for yourself.

 

[deleted343839]

Another concern is my own well-being. I work nearly 50 hours a week on internship and I am exhausted every day. I recognize that this is less than a number of other positions, but I can't help be tired. People tell me it is just going to get harder after internship. This terrifies me.

That's a pretty crappy thing for someone to say, and it's just not true. Internship was harder than most (but not all) of my grad school years, post-doc was a little easier (though more anxiety-provoking because of the kinds of decisions you are grappling with now), and my job-job has its moments but on average I'm less stressed than I was in training. I don't know anyone who looks back and says, "Oh, I wish I could just go back to internship year when things were so EASY."

 

[WisNeuro]

As long as you set yourself up well, you can work into any kind of schedule you want. I can't remember the last time I eclipsed 45 hours in a week. However, if you plan on PP and admin, you can probably kiss any of those dreams goodbye.

 

[bmedclinic]

I personally found internship to be relatively easy (sans finishing my dissertation) and post doc to be much more stressful (dealing with EPPP). But I'll say, my life after those things is 10x better. It'll get better.. I cant say when exactly as that differs dependent on each person, but for me I'm way happier now.

 

[Therapist4Chnge]

The "now I guess I should grow up" feeling is pretty common. I too wasn't geographically restricted, so my #1 deciding factor was what site would give me the best training. I found post-doc to be great and terrifying, often times in the same day. Looking back on it my experiences were pretty typical for my stage of development. Much more autonomy, but still a safety net when push came to shove.

I have little to offer about therapy training and best places. I'm not sure what is a typical schedule for a therapy-heavy post-doc, but maybe others can share what that day/week may look like in different settings.

As for the administrative side of things, that is definitely something you'll have to develop in addition to typical clinical skills. If you do well with those kind of responsibilities, there should be plenty of places that would welcome that desire, as it can be pulling teeth to get some clinicians to give a hoot about that side of the house.

 

[foreverbull]

The postdoc search process can be overwhelming, and if you've gone the UCC route all the way through, it might be easiest to stick with that and narrow your search to UCCs that seem to be a good fit. After that, you're licensed and have much more flexibility about career directions, so don't worry about being boxed in career-wise. The main thing is that you just need hours toward licensure, and the reality is, you won't be paid well for it unless you get a highly competitive VA postdoc. Some colleagues applied all over and were willing to take the lower pay and live anywhere for a year just like internship, and others (like me) focused on one state and narrowed our searches that way. Unfortunately, in my case I under-applied to a highly competitive area after some bad advice from a colleague I worked with who told me that it was a lot easier to get a postdoc than an internship site and that you don't have to apply to as many postdoc sites. In reality, it was quite the opposite, so just make sure you apply broadly and to several sites regardless of the kinds of postdocs you choose.

If I were you, I'd pick a population you'd like to specialize working with or want more training in and pursue it in postdoc sites and make that part of your cover letter explaining your interest (assessments, trauma, geriatric issues/aging, grief/loss, sports psych, multicultural counseling, eating disorders, LGBTQIQ issues, a specialty training method/theory, etc.). Where do you want to grow? Start from there.

Also, don't sell yourself short; think about your experiences and any special populations you've worked with/specialized experiences and sell it in your cover letters if you can and/or sell them on why their site has the training you need to pursue your professional goals.

Best of luck!

 

[Hope4Grad]

The postdoc search process can be overwhelming, and if you've gone the UCC route all the way through, it might be easiest to stick with that and narrow your search to UCCs that seem to be a good fit. After that, you're licensed and have much more flexibility about career directions, so don't worry about being boxed in career-wise. The main thing is that you just need hours toward licensure, and the reality is, you won't be paid well for it unless you get a highly competitive VA postdoc. Some colleagues applied all over and were willing to take the lower pay and live anywhere for a year just like internship, and others (like me) focused on one state and narrowed our searches that way. Unfortunately, in my case I under-applied to a highly competitive area after some bad advice from a colleague I worked with who told me that it was a lot easier to get a postdoc than an internship site and that you don't have to apply to as many postdoc sites. In reality, it was quite the opposite, so just make sure you apply broadly and to several sites regardless of the kinds of postdocs you choose.

If I were you, I'd pick a population you'd like to specialize working with or want more training in and pursue it in postdoc sites and make that part of your cover letter explaining your interest (assessments, trauma, geriatric issues/aging, grief/loss, sports psych, multicultural counseling, eating disorders, LGBTQIQ issues, a specialty training method/theory, etc.). Where do you want to grow? Start from there.

Also, don't sell yourself short; think about your experiences and any special populations you've worked with/specialized experiences and sell it in your cover letters if you can and/or sell them on why their site has the training you need to pursue your professional goals.

Best of luck!

This is the best postdoc advice I've come across so far and it echoes my experience 100%. I hope future applicants come across it.

 

[WisNeuro]