Need resources/advice

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WhatToDo45

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I always kinda hated these topics on here but here I am. I am a new fellow in a subspecialty of IM. Did IM in a different part of the country. Now I'm in this new, strange place with no connections yet. That sucks but been there before. Time will fix it. The issue I'm struggling with is I'm coming from a relaxed, collegial residency to a fellowship program that is malignant. We are treated horribly. Talked to as if we are less than human. One saving grace, I guess, is that everyone is treated like crap. It isn't just me being singled out. I don't feel like I can talk to co fellows about it, though. They wear it as a badge of honor almost.

On top of this it's a new emr and system in general. I knew it was a tougher program coming in but I had no idea how bad it was. I feel like I'm drowning and dread going to bed at night because I know I have to come back the next day.

The underlying elephant in the room is that I probably should have never done medicine (in general) as a career. Didn't really like much out of med school so picked IM then didn't like it so I picked this subspecialty as it is interesting but now I feel the only thing getting me through first month is knowing I could walk out of here and not look back, but that's a horrible way to do things.

I guess I just need resources or stories of people thats been there. Or advice. I don't know what I need. I just know I can't this up forever.

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I always kinda hated these topics on here but here I am. I am a new fellow in a subspecialty of IM. Did IM in a different part of the country. Now I'm in this new, strange place with no connections yet. That sucks but been there before. Time will fix it. The issue I'm struggling with is I'm coming from a relaxed, collegial residency to a fellowship program that is malignant. We are treated horribly. Talked to as if we are less than human. One saving grace, I guess, is that everyone is treated like crap. It isn't just me being singled out. I don't feel like I can talk to co fellows about it, though. They wear it as a badge of honor almost.

On top of this it's a new emr and system in general. I knew it was a tougher program coming in but I had no idea how bad it was. I feel like I'm drowning and dread going to bed at night because I know I have to come back the next day.

The underlying elephant in the room is that I probably should have never done medicine (in general) as a career. Didn't really like much out of med school so picked IM then didn't like it so I picked this subspecialty as it is interesting but now I feel the only thing getting me through first month is knowing I could walk out of here and not look back, but that's a horrible way to do things.

I guess I just need resources or stories of people thats been there. Or advice. I don't know what I need. I just know I can't this up forever.
You sound like you don't particularly like medicine and you may not like this subspecialty either.

I would make a strong effort to go to work and see if you enjoy the actual work itself (not the hours, or the people, or whatever BS aspects of fellowship that you won't have to deal with as an attending). If you like the work.... find a way to ride this out. If after a month or so you realize that you don't like the work, let alone the fellowship and the people in it, you should quit. If it's as bad as you say, you have absolutely no obligation to give them notice. Just know that it may well blackball you within the local community.
 
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