But "culturally" she won't be seen as weak when taking his? If this whole thing was a sign of who was superior and inferior in the first place, then it's okay for her to be submissive because she was a woman right? I thought everyone cared about the family unity thing. Doesn't matter what name you take as long as the family is binded by a name (which in and of itself sounds fishy). I, of course, will not be taking my future husband's name (if I decide to even get married, which seems pretty foggy right now). My opinion is: If it's for family unity and for the oneness and binding a name will bring, then why does it automatically have to be his and not hers? It honestly seems like he's representing himself in the relationship whilst she is also being represented by him in the relationship, being one is a combination of TWO people. Just because something is "tradition" doesn't mean we should blindly accept it. Women never had rights, blacks were slaves, etc. They were all traditions, we got rid of those; because they didn't make sense. Why should this be any acception? A name is a personal "possession", and how an individual handles their own name is very personal, not subject to practical concerns or "right vs wrong" rules. There's no practical reason why you MUST call yourself any particular name - the reasons are mostly symbolic/sentimental. It's like coming to someone's bedroom and examining the tchotchkies on top of the dresser - you will not know the meaning behind each one, but just because they don't have a personal meaning to YOU doesn't mean that their owner is not attached to them. Indeed, the owner might have very strong sentimental feelings about any one of the items. Same goes for the name; just because YOU don't feel the connection with your name and feel that things other than the name define who you are, doesn't mean that others must necessarily share this perspective. For a lot of people, their name is like the stuffed rabbit they've had since they were 3 years old - no practical value, but very sentimentally charged. Of course, neither the ratty rabbit nor the name really defines who we are as a person - but this doesn't render our attachment invalid. The desire to retain one's name is just as valid as the desire to keep one's old toy, which in turn is just as valid as either changing one's name or choosing to throw the toy away.
My own feeling is that I was born with my name, and I will die with it. Just like changing your name doesn't change who you are, retaining your name doesn't make you any less married. And not sharing the same last name as your kids doesn't make you any less their mother. So this same argument can go both ways. I don't understand why people think it would be think it's such an "insult" to my fiance that I wish to keep my name. It's an insult to me to expect to give up a part of my identity. People here keep saying, why even bother to marry, then? So, the only reason to marry someone is to change your name? Hell, I can go to the city hall and do that whenever I want, if it makes me happy. If a woman changing her name is a sign of respect then what does the man change about his identity to show his respect? Respect is a two way street.
Anyway, we're not the only culture in the world, now or historically, and we hold no ownership rights to tradition. We may be able to best honor traditions and what those traditions represent by establishing new ones.
lol hey isn't it sweet how all these couples take on the man's name for closeness and unity? No wonder there's such a low divorce rate. Oh, WAIT.
"Love me for who I am not for how you can change me. A real man wouldn't care about his wife taking his name so long as he has her in his life."
My own feeling is that I was born with my name, and I will die with it. Just like changing your name doesn't change who you are, retaining your name doesn't make you any less married. And not sharing the same last name as your kids doesn't make you any less their mother. So this same argument can go both ways. I don't understand why people think it would be think it's such an "insult" to my fiance that I wish to keep my name. It's an insult to me to expect to give up a part of my identity. People here keep saying, why even bother to marry, then? So, the only reason to marry someone is to change your name? Hell, I can go to the city hall and do that whenever I want, if it makes me happy. If a woman changing her name is a sign of respect then what does the man change about his identity to show his respect? Respect is a two way street.
Anyway, we're not the only culture in the world, now or historically, and we hold no ownership rights to tradition. We may be able to best honor traditions and what those traditions represent by establishing new ones.
lol hey isn't it sweet how all these couples take on the man's name for closeness and unity? No wonder there's such a low divorce rate. Oh, WAIT.
"Love me for who I am not for how you can change me. A real man wouldn't care about his wife taking his name so long as he has her in his life."
Joking of course, calm down.
