Intern feeling afraid and incompetent daily

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Bumblebeer

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I'm a new IM intern, and I'm worried that I'm not good enough to be a doctor. I feel stupid and slow daily despite being 6 weeks into residency now and I don't know if this is normal or if I'm supposed to be feeling comfortable now.

I started on a critical care month and now am on an elective. Next month I start wards and I'm terrified. I've never carried more than 4 patients (even on the critical care unit our max was 4). I just don't know how I'm going to carry up to 10 on wards! I also feel like I'm awful at my outpatient clinic. We just started and it took me forever to see my first patient because of systems things. I didn't know how to use the outpatient EMR, didn't know how to call the social worker, didn't know how to call for medicare transport. I felt so demoralized and like a fraud after that first day. It probably doesn't help that I didn't get a lot of outpatient exposure in med school.

I'm terrified daily that I'm going to hurt someone and I worry that I'm too slow and too stupid at everything and I'm going to get fired. It feels like I was better at medicine after step 2 because of how much I seem to have forgotten. It comes back when I look things up of course, but the amount I have to look up feels awful and the scope of IM feels impossible to master sometimes. I also struggle with time off (ex: this past weekend) because I feel guilty whenever I'm not studying.

Does/did anyone else feel they way I do? I put on a brave face at work because no one else seems to be struggling and I try to tell myself "hey, you made it through med school and were an average student and got into a great residency" (a little below average on the step 1 but fine on step 2 and in 3rd/4th year). I tell myself that means that I'm going to be ok in residency if I just keep on keeping on, but it's hard to believe that some days.

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I'm a new IM intern, and I'm worried that I'm not good enough to be a doctor. I feel stupid and slow daily despite being 6 weeks into residency now and I don't know if this is normal or if I'm supposed to be feeling comfortable now.

I started on a critical care month and now am on an elective. Next month I start wards and I'm terrified. I've never carried more than 4 patients (even on the critical care unit our max was 4). I just don't know how I'm going to carry up to 10 on wards! I also feel like I'm awful at my outpatient clinic. We just started and it took me forever to see my first patient because of systems things. I didn't know how to use the outpatient EMR, didn't know how to call the social worker, didn't know how to call for medicare transport. I felt so demoralized and like a fraud after that first day. I also didn't get a lot of outpatient exposure in med school so I'm concerned I'm going to be terrible at outpatient medicine. Clinic almost feels worse than inpatient to me because it feels like there's less backup.

I'm terrified daily that I'm going to hurt someone and I worry that I'm too slow and too stupid at everything and I'm going to get fired. It feels like I was better at medicine after step 2 because I just feel like I've forgotten everything. It comes back when I look things up of course, but the amount I have to look up feels awful and the scope of IM feels impossible to master sometimes. I also struggle with time off (ex: this past weekend) because I feel guilty whenever I'm not studying.

Does/did anyone else feel they way I do? I put on a brave face at work because no one else seems to be struggling and I try to tell myself "hey, you made it through med school and were an average student and got into a great residency" (a little below average on the step 1 but fine on step 2 and in 3rd/4th year). I tell myself that means that I'm going to be ok in residency if I just keep on keeping on, but it's hard to believe that some days.
You're 6 weeks in and feeling this way? I was feeling incompetent for the majority of the year! Not to mention you started in the ICU which is the most difficult place to start. Don't worry, every intern is probably feeling how you feel. Talk to others, talk to your seniors as there should hopefully be some helpful ones, I think you're just going through what everyone goes through. Honestly, I'd be more worried if you felt perfectly confident -- now that's a truly dangerous attitude for an intern to have!
 
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I'm terrified daily that I'm going to hurt someone and I worry that I'm too slow and too stupid at everything.

After practicing medicine for some years, I still feel this way to some extent. The day you feel like you know everything and are invincible is the day when you stop learning and you become a dangerous doctor.

I'm not saying you should be "terrified" daily, but as a doctor you always feel that there's something else to learn, another challenge to tackle. If not, medicine would be boring.
 
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If you didn't feel this way you'd be horrifyingly dangerous. It's not those that recognize their limits that are a problem, it's those that are oblivious.
 
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I'm a new IM intern, and I'm worried that I'm not good enough to be a doctor. I feel stupid and slow daily despite being 6 weeks into residency now and I don't know if this is normal or if I'm supposed to be feeling comfortable now.

I started on a critical care month and now am on an elective. Next month I start wards and I'm terrified. I've never carried more than 4 patients (even on the critical care unit our max was 4). I just don't know how I'm going to carry up to 10 on wards! I also feel like I'm awful at my outpatient clinic. We just started and it took me forever to see my first patient because of systems things. I didn't know how to use the outpatient EMR, didn't know how to call the social worker, didn't know how to call for medicare transport. I felt so demoralized and like a fraud after that first day. It probably doesn't help that I didn't get a lot of outpatient exposure in med school.

I'm terrified daily that I'm going to hurt someone and I worry that I'm too slow and too stupid at everything and I'm going to get fired. It feels like I was better at medicine after step 2 because of how much I seem to have forgotten. It comes back when I look things up of course, but the amount I have to look up feels awful and the scope of IM feels impossible to master sometimes. I also struggle with time off (ex: this past weekend) because I feel guilty whenever I'm not studying.

Does/did anyone else feel they way I do? I put on a brave face at work because no one else seems to be struggling and I try to tell myself "hey, you made it through med school and were an average student and got into a great residency" (a little below average on the step 1 but fine on step 2 and in 3rd/4th year). I tell myself that means that I'm going to be ok in residency if I just keep on keeping on, but it's hard to believe that some days.

Working with new interns recently, most of them seemed to be at the level of a fourth year medical student which makes sense since they just completed medical school. I think after a while, some of the things you struggle with will become more routine (like EMR and management of basic complaints) so things will start to slow down and become easier. The part I noticed that stuck with me the most was, NOTHING IS EASY at first. You often have a general idea of what you want to do, but no idea how to carry out the action (ex. EMR, consults, tylenol dosing,...etc)
 
I'm a new IM intern, and I'm worried that I'm not good enough to be a doctor. I feel stupid and slow daily despite being 6 weeks into residency now and I don't know if this is normal or if I'm supposed to be feeling comfortable now.

I started on a critical care month and now am on an elective. Next month I start wards and I'm terrified. I've never carried more than 4 patients (even on the critical care unit our max was 4). I just don't know how I'm going to carry up to 10 on wards! I also feel like I'm awful at my outpatient clinic. We just started and it took me forever to see my first patient because of systems things. I didn't know how to use the outpatient EMR, didn't know how to call the social worker, didn't know how to call for medicare transport. I felt so demoralized and like a fraud after that first day. It probably doesn't help that I didn't get a lot of outpatient exposure in med school.

I'm terrified daily that I'm going to hurt someone and I worry that I'm too slow and too stupid at everything and I'm going to get fired. It feels like I was better at medicine after step 2 because of how much I seem to have forgotten. It comes back when I look things up of course, but the amount I have to look up feels awful and the scope of IM feels impossible to master sometimes. I also struggle with time off (ex: this past weekend) because I feel guilty whenever I'm not studying.

Does/did anyone else feel they way I do? I put on a brave face at work because no one else seems to be struggling and I try to tell myself "hey, you made it through med school and were an average student and got into a great residency" (a little below average on the step 1 but fine on step 2 and in 3rd/4th year). I tell myself that means that I'm going to be ok in residency if I just keep on keeping on, but it's hard to believe that some days.
I felt like that throughout the summer and the fall. Hell, I was routinely staying several hours later than I was supposed to to try and finish work. Early winter hit and I was in the doldroms of working hard and never seeing the sun, but realized things were becoming more efficient as I was getting out on time. Actually felt competent relative to the medical students.

Come springtime of intern year, we were regularly finishing work several hours prior to when scheduled. Feeling pretty good, getting comfortable... and then second year started. Only at that point did I realize just how much I had learned relative to when I was a new intern (and also how much I had left to learn as I learned my new role).

To summarize: What you're feeling is perfectly normal. It gets better.
 
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heh I remember feeling exactly the same this point last year

You'll get through it and be awesome in a few months. It takes time.
 
Boy, did I ever feel like what you described in your OP.

I've said it here before, but I spent 4 years in the Marine Corps, and I would rather do those four years over again than my internship year.

Believe me, if I could do it, you can. Luckily, you don't realize yet how good you will become. You wouldn't be where you are today without being highly intelligent and motivated; traits that will get you through this part of climbing the learning curve.

The first lecture we had in Med School was about uncertainty. You must, they said, come to terms with the fact that you cannot possibly know everything and that you will feel uncertain for the rest of your career.

I also agree that over confidence in an intern is more dangerous than insecurity is.
 
Thank you all for taking the time to respond. It helps to hear that I am not the only one who has felt so overwhelmed. And it gives me hope that things will get better if I just keep at it.
 
New peds intern here and I feel very similar to you often. I don't know the EMRs well, I feel like all of my knowledge has evaporated, I'm disastrously slow in clinic, etc. It's really hard not to get demoralized that the last 4 years were for nothing, but reading threads like this give me a lot of hope. Every once in awhile I catch myself doing something I couldn't do the week before or being just a little more efficient with pre-rounding and I think *maybe* just maybe I'll make through the year haha.


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What you are feeling is normal.

Be prepared, though, when you finish residency and start your first real job, you will feel incompetent then too. Starting a new position takes time to get used to.
 
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Save this in a word document and read it the day you graduate... You'll appreciate how far you came and It'll let the journey set in
 
I'm a third year resident and I still feel incompetent haha.
 
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Every intern should feel like this when they start . If they don't I would wonder about them.

Take it one day at a time. Focus on what you are doing well. Talk to other interns. Work together. Help each other. Give it some time.
 
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Would rather have a nervous intern than my current one who never ****ing stops talking, interrupts me all the time saying "yeah yeah yeah I know" and thinks he knows everything.
 
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Would rather have a nervous intern than my current one who never ****ing stops talking, interrupts me all the time saying "yeah yeah yeah I know" and thinks he knows everything.

Tell him that attendings on SDN know that he doesn't know what he's doing.
 
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