I don't know what to do...

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GoofyPaw

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First post. I'm writing this because I'm having second thoughts about going to medical school. TL/DR: I really want to do something creative with my career such as writing/film, but I'm scared that if I fail, I'll have to return to my old job as an accountant.

I majored in accounting and worked as a public auditor for three years until I passed the CPA exam. After all of that I raged quit my job and decided to become a doctor. I spent the last two years taking science prerequisites while working part-time as a waiter. My grades have been good, and I'm scheduled to take the MCAT on September 9. For almost this entire year second thoughts have been creeping into my head until they've reached a tipping point these past couple of weeks. I can barely concentrate on my studies, I literally lay in bed until 4:30 AM thinking if this is the right choice, and then I go on these SDN forums trying to see what other people have said about this topic. To be honest, I think I can make it, and I think I might actually enjoy being a doctor once I get there, but there's something inside of me that keeps saying this isn't the path for me.

My REAL dream is to do something creative like writing or being a filmmaker. I always kept a journal, but never got too serious about it because I figured those were pipe dreams and disregarded them. I'm really scared because if I decide to drop medical school and fail at becoming a writer or filmmaker, I'll have to return to accounting. I HATED that job, and i would die inside and would regret dropping medical school if I had to become an accountant again. So another reason why I want to be a doctor is that I don't want to be an accountant, if that makes sense. But, I feel like I'll regret not chasing after my dreams, because I'll always wonder what if. I don't know which regret I'll hate more, but if I had to pick one, it'd be not going to medical school if I failed at writing.

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First post. I'm writing this because I'm having second thoughts about going to medical school. TL/DR: I really want to do something creative with my career such as writing/film, but I'm scared that if I fail, I'll have to return to my old job as an accountant.

I majored in accounting and worked as a public auditor for three years until I passed the CPA exam. After all of that I raged quit my job and decided to become a doctor. I spent the last two years taking science prerequisites while working part-time as a waiter. My grades have been good, and I'm scheduled to take the MCAT on September 9. For almost this entire year second thoughts have been creeping into my head until they've reached a tipping point these past couple of weeks. I can barely concentrate on my studies, I literally lay in bed until 4:30 AM thinking if this is the right choice, and then I go on these SDN forums trying to see what other people have said about this topic. To be honest, I think I can make it, and I think I might actually enjoy being a doctor once I get there, but there's something inside of me that keeps saying this isn't the path for me.

My REAL dream is to do something creative like writing or being a filmmaker. I always kept a journal, but never got too serious about it because I figured those were pipe dreams and disregarded them. I'm really scared because if I decide to drop medical school and fail at becoming a writer or filmmaker, I'll have to return to accounting. I HATED that job, and i would die inside and would regret dropping medical school if I had to become an accountant again. So another reason why I want to be a doctor is that I don't want to be an accountant, if that makes sense. But, I feel like I'll regret not chasing after my dreams, because I'll always wonder what if. I don't know which regret I'll hate more, but if I had to pick one, it'd be not going to medical school if I failed at writing.


Ok so truly, I don't think sdn is a good place for questions like this so ask your best friends, ask someone you trust in real life.

But from what you've written, it doesn't sound as though you've shadowed enough or worked clinically so do either/both of these things. Quite honestly, there is a lot of creativity needed/possible in medicine and I'm saying this as a person who used to write sketches, joined a film group and made horrible stuff. I still have creative outlets throughout my premed process and application cycle just because. I think your thoughts are normal but your background information is probably inadequate. There is something for everyone in medicine because it is so big.


Last thing, you shouldn't just make it all black and white in your head. Take the risk if you want it enough that you'd be happier with it going terribly wrong vs taking the Med school route. Truly if you don't find medicine interesting or fulfilling at all. Which again, just sounds like you need more data to even decide that.

Keep your head up!
 
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medical school should not be a back-up career to anything else - it's too brutal and soul-sucking to even the most dedicated

following your creative dreams doesn't mean you have to go back to accounting if it doesn't work out

going to medical school doesn't mean kissing your creative outlets goodbye, but don't listen to anyone here who suggests after graduation you'll be able to avoid going into the fields that the MD prepares you for - it's essentially a trade degree that isn't worth the paper it's printed on without more experience to find a niche to use it

why did you decide you wanted to be a doctor in the first place? that is the most important question to have a solid answer to before starting medical school

as far as pursuing something else, that's a separate question
 
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Are you creative enough to feed your kids being creative?
 
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Ok so truly, I don't think sdn is a good place for questions like this so ask your best friends, ask someone you trust in real life.

But from what you've written, it doesn't sound as though you've shadowed enough or worked clinically so do either/both of these things. Quite honestly, there is a lot of creativity needed/possible in medicine and I'm saying this as a person who used to write sketches, joined a film group and made horrible stuff. I still have creative outlets throughout my premed process and application cycle just because. I think your thoughts are normal but your background information is probably inadequate. There is something for everyone in medicine because it is so big.


Last thing, you shouldn't just make it all black and white in your head. Take the risk if you want it enough that you'd be happier with it going terribly wrong vs taking the Med school route. Truly if you don't find medicine interesting or fulfilling at all. Which again, just sounds like you need more data to even decide that.

Keep your head up!
I'm sorry to be harsh,but we can't tell you what to do when you grow up... you have to figure that out.
 
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I'm a creative person myself, and spent a large portion of my life wanting to be a writer when I grew up. Flash forward a few years to college, where I discovered another passion of mine: medicine. I found myself pouring over medical journals and listening to various podcasts about medicine, all the while taking creative writing courses at my university. I ultimately decided that I would rather pursue the passion that would make me money over the passion that wouldn't. So to medical school I go. Also, I tried freelance writing for two years and hated it. I didn't want to write on demand. This is ultimately only a decision that you can make though. I say shadow several different physicians in different specialties and perhaps consider getting a job in the healthcare field to see if you even like it first. I know of a lot of people who thought they wanted to be a doctor until they shadowed one.
 
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Ill put my input here as someone contemplating medicine who currently works in a creative field: these so-called creative jobs (arch in my case) are rarely actually that creative. You're beholden to a client or regulatory authority or budgetary constraints. Which would be fine, if the work wasnt so meaningless. Creative work can actually be really meaningless when it is in a "job" form. Medicine will *never* be meaningless.
 
First post. I'm writing this because I'm having second thoughts about going to medical school. TL/DR: I really want to do something creative with my career such as writing/film, but I'm scared that if I fail, I'll have to return to my old job as an accountant.

I majored in accounting and worked as a public auditor for three years until I passed the CPA exam. After all of that I raged quit my job and decided to become a doctor. I spent the last two years taking science prerequisites while working part-time as a waiter. My grades have been good, and I'm scheduled to take the MCAT on September 9. For almost this entire year second thoughts have been creeping into my head until they've reached a tipping point these past couple of weeks. I can barely concentrate on my studies, I literally lay in bed until 4:30 AM thinking if this is the right choice, and then I go on these SDN forums trying to see what other people have said about this topic. To be honest, I think I can make it, and I think I might actually enjoy being a doctor once I get there, but there's something inside of me that keeps saying this isn't the path for me.

My REAL dream is to do something creative like writing or being a filmmaker. I always kept a journal, but never got too serious about it because I figured those were pipe dreams and disregarded them. I'm really scared because if I decide to drop medical school and fail at becoming a writer or filmmaker, I'll have to return to accounting. I HATED that job, and i would die inside and would regret dropping medical school if I had to become an accountant again. So another reason why I want to be a doctor is that I don't want to be an accountant, if that makes sense. But, I feel like I'll regret not chasing after my dreams, because I'll always wonder what if. I don't know which regret I'll hate more, but if I had to pick one, it'd be not going to medical school if I failed at writing.
Wow...what a story! In the hierarchy of interest, I'm not really seeing where the medical career is paramount; it seems , but it's not completely clear, that your main interest is film/writing? Then why on earth are you thinking about a medical career other than "I think I might actually enjoy being a doctor?" Have you taken any steps to determine whether being a doctor would have any resonance for you? Rather than interminably worrying over seemingly unsolvable life choices, take some actions to gain enough information to in turn develop some clarity.
 
Thanks to everyone who replied.

To those that guessed that I didn't do any shadowing yet, you're correct. I don't feel the need to, because running a practice seems boring. Waiting in a waiting room for half an hour is enough experience to know that working in a hospital is the right move for me. The only field I'm currently interested in is EM. I'll be volunteering at a ER this upcoming semester to gain a little more insight. I know EM is the path for me because I hate working in an office setting. Working as a waiter for two years taught me more about myself than anything thus far. I loved the pace and camaraderie with my fellow waiters and kitchen staff. It always felt like a family, and I feel like working in a ER will provide an even better and more intense experience. Anyways, thanks again.
 
Thanks to everyone who replied.

To those that guessed that I didn't do any shadowing yet, you're correct. I don't feel the need to, because running a practice seems boring. Waiting in a waiting room for half an hour is enough experience to know that working in a hospital is the right move for me. The only field I'm currently interested in is EM. I'll be volunteering at a ER this upcoming semester to gain a little more insight. I know EM is the path for me because I hate working in an office setting. Working as a waiter for two years taught me more about myself than anything thus far. I loved the pace and camaraderie with my fellow waiters and kitchen staff. It always felt like a family, and I feel like working in a ER will provide an even better and more intense experience. Anyways, thanks again.

In the interest of altruism, you should 100% shadow a doctor. Try to build rapport with an ER doc there and follow them around, ask them about the non-patient care challenges they face. Simply viewing it from a patient or outsider's perspective is not enough. Being an ER doctor is not all high-paced action with lots of efficient patient care... there is so much more to being a physician than seeing and diagnosing patients. I'm sorry to say but there is a substantial amount of office work, non-patient interactions, and lots of bureaucratic things at almost all areas of specialty. This is why adcoms surveyed typically rank clinical experience right behind GPA and MCAT because they want applicants who know realistically what they're getting into and want to go for it anyways, not those who just observe and get some kind of idealized view of the profession then will become unhappy/spiteful doctors years down the line because they realize their heart isn't really in it.

If someone came up to you saying they feel like accounting would be an OK job because they are good with numbers or whatever, you would naturally want to tell them "well, there's more to it..." Same logic here, you have insight from experienced users here who are telling you "well, there's more to it than meets the eye". Saying "you feel like" it would be a good idea is not enough. That's again being naive and not truly aware of the situation. You can get a sense of camaraderie and family in different specialties also. A doctor almost always has a support staff of nurses, PAs, and other allied health professionals they work with, not just ER docs.

This is why others are suggesting you shadow because you already made the mistake once of going into a field you didn't quite know about and finding yourself extremely unhappy. Becoming a doctor is COSTLY both in terms of time and money. We're talking $$$ and years of your life you will not get back, so you must shadow to truly gain insight into the day to day life of a doctor lest you repeat the same mistake you made with pursuing accounting. You don't want to be several hundred dollars in debt, having forced yourself through enormous amounts of stress for ~10 years, only to realize at the end you wanted to pursue creative writing after all.
 
Thanks to everyone who replied.

To those that guessed that I didn't do any shadowing yet, you're correct. I don't feel the need to, because running a practice seems boring. Waiting in a waiting room for half an hour is enough experience to know that working in a hospital is the right move for me. The only field I'm currently interested in is EM. I'll be volunteering at a ER this upcoming semester to gain a little more insight. I know EM is the path for me because I hate working in an office setting. Working as a waiter for two years taught me more about myself than anything thus far. I loved the pace and camaraderie with my fellow waiters and kitchen staff. It always felt like a family, and I feel like working in a ER will provide an even better and more intense experience. Anyways, thanks again.

Ok, so shadowing is actually very insightful especially if you know the doctor well. I shadowed my pcp, and because he knew I was smart, he treated me like a pseudo Med student and it was seriously inspiring and encouraging. I am thankful too because it's rare to get that experience if you're not related to doctors. I did shadow one doc in an outpatient clinic and it was boring. Looking back, it was boring because I had not taken my upper level bio classes yet.

But if you are interested in EM, you quite honestly don't have much excuse to not do something like EMT or ED tech work. So ok, shadowing doesn't pay you in money, then do paid medical work. EM is actually the most welcoming specialty for people with no medical experience. You will see some stuff, learn about other positions in healthcare (which perhaps might interest you), earn money, develop some skills, and strengthen your application. I believe you'd probably like EM because it is a team specialty but idk, it's a little too early to be set on anything. If you work or shadow, you will see there is more to each specialty than one can read about.

Please follow some of the good advice in this thread! People are trying to help you. It's almost like we're trying to help you like medicine... when it's an actually awesome/fulfilling field to us and I can't really believe anyone would disagree.
 
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Don't do it! You still have a lot of doubt in your mind, and there is no room for that kind of doubt when you are in the thick of med school and residency. I know a good number of people who are creative types but went into medical school anyway, and now have a lot of regret they didn't pursue a different field. The last thing you want to do is saddle yourself with all that debt, and then be in a position where you are now stuck working in the field to pay off your student loans, rather than pursuing your true interests. Please please please really think about what you are doing. I totally understand feeling like you need to be successful and working toward a lucrative career, but you are still very young - you have so much time to make your way.
 
Thanks for the additional responses. I'll take the advice to look for some shadowing opportunities along with some volunteer work in an ER. I've considered visiting a psychic for advice because I'm confused and unsure.
 
I don't know if you'll believe me but psychics are not real. Do not entrust your future decisions to a scam artist who only has your money in mind, not your best interests.

But beyond that, again to reiterate... you have time. Take it easy, think about it, sleep on it, think about it again, sleep some more. This is YOUR decision, you have to make it. Do not go off of what a complete stranger says. I guarantee you that psychic will have no idea or expertise about either of your career choices so why trust their advice? The best place to get advice is by talking to those in the field. You have input here from verified, experienced members of the pre-health community. You will get insight during your volunteering and interactions with health staff. Now find people who know about creative writing and ask them about their experiences.
 
And people call me a troll. Maybe I'm just smarter than everyone else.
 
Lol, I know psychics aren't real, but I just read the Alchemist so it was more of a passing thought. Didn't mean to be a troll, but that's how desperate I am. Thinking and sleeping sounds like a plan. I'm actually taking a semester off to gather my thoughts, volunteer, and shadow. I'll squeeze in sleeping and thinking somewhere in my schedule. If I still can't make a decision, I'll just flip a coin and see how I feel about the result ;)
 
And people call me a troll. Maybe I'm just smarter than everyone else.

I like to err on the side of maybe OP actually does need that much help :shrug: could just be a troll but you never know if they're that misguided and need a stern talking to
 
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Thanks to everyone who replied.

To those that guessed that I didn't do any shadowing yet, you're correct. I don't feel the need to, because running a practice seems boring. Waiting in a waiting room for half an hour is enough experience to know that working in a hospital is the right move for me. The only field I'm currently interested in is EM. I'll be volunteering at a ER this upcoming semester to gain a little more insight. I know EM is the path for me because I hate working in an office setting. Working as a waiter for two years taught me more about myself than anything thus far. I loved the pace and camaraderie with my fellow waiters and kitchen staff. It always felt like a family, and I feel like working in a ER will provide an even better and more intense experience. Anyways, thanks again.
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You uh... Yeah, you really don't understand medicine at all. First off, you can try and go all in for EM, but it's getting quite competitive and you might never match, which would put you in the situation of being several hundred thousand dollars in debt and entering a field you can't stand. Second, 75% of your time in EM is paperwork. 15% of the time is patients that should have seen their PCPs. 5% of the time it's drug seekers, drunks, and people abusing the system. 4% of the time it's something they should be in the ED for that's relatively uncomplicated. 1% of the time you'll be dealing with something interesting. 90% of all that time you'll be frustrated by either management, your patients, your coworkers, the government, or the fact that you're working nights/holidays/weekends. EM has an average burnout time of 5 years for a reason, it ain't like TV kid.
 
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First post. I'm writing this because I'm having second thoughts about going to medical school. TL/DR: I really want to do something creative with my career such as writing/film, but I'm scared that if I fail, I'll have to return to my old job as an accountant.

I majored in accounting and worked as a public auditor for three years until I passed the CPA exam. After all of that I raged quit my job and decided to become a doctor. I spent the last two years taking science prerequisites while working part-time as a waiter. My grades have been good, and I'm scheduled to take the MCAT on September 9. For almost this entire year second thoughts have been creeping into my head until they've reached a tipping point these past couple of weeks. I can barely concentrate on my studies, I literally lay in bed until 4:30 AM thinking if this is the right choice, and then I go on these SDN forums trying to see what other people have said about this topic. To be honest, I think I can make it, and I think I might actually enjoy being a doctor once I get there, but there's something inside of me that keeps saying this isn't the path for me.

My REAL dream is to do something creative like writing or being a filmmaker. I always kept a journal, but never got too serious about it because I figured those were pipe dreams and disregarded them. I'm really scared because if I decide to drop medical school and fail at becoming a writer or filmmaker, I'll have to return to accounting. I HATED that job, and i would die inside and would regret dropping medical school if I had to become an accountant again. So another reason why I want to be a doctor is that I don't want to be an accountant, if that makes sense. But, I feel like I'll regret not chasing after my dreams, because I'll always wonder what if. I don't know which regret I'll hate more, but if I had to pick one, it'd be not going to medical school if I failed at writing.
It sounds like you're entering medicine for the same reasons you entered accounting- you're afraid of doing what you actually enjoy and failing at it and thus want something stable. That's possibly the worst reason to go into medicine, and you'll probably find yourself ragequitting sometime in third year when you haven't eaten since breakfast and your hands are aching from 12 hours of retracting and a surgeon pimps you on some obscure pouch or ligament or whatever for the fiftieth time this week in the OR.
 
First post. I'm writing this because I'm having second thoughts about going to medical school. TL/DR: I really want to do something creative with my career such as writing/film, but I'm scared that if I fail, I'll have to return to my old job as an accountant.

I majored in accounting and worked as a public auditor for three years until I passed the CPA exam. After all of that I raged quit my job and decided to become a doctor. I spent the last two years taking science prerequisites while working part-time as a waiter. My grades have been good, and I'm scheduled to take the MCAT on September 9. For almost this entire year second thoughts have been creeping into my head until they've reached a tipping point these past couple of weeks. I can barely concentrate on my studies, I literally lay in bed until 4:30 AM thinking if this is the right choice, and then I go on these SDN forums trying to see what other people have said about this topic. To be honest, I think I can make it, and I think I might actually enjoy being a doctor once I get there, but there's something inside of me that keeps saying this isn't the path for me.

My REAL dream is to do something creative like writing or being a filmmaker. I always kept a journal, but never got too serious about it because I figured those were pipe dreams and disregarded them. I'm really scared because if I decide to drop medical school and fail at becoming a writer or filmmaker, I'll have to return to accounting. I HATED that job, and i would die inside and would regret dropping medical school if I had to become an accountant again. So another reason why I want to be a doctor is that I don't want to be an accountant, if that makes sense. But, I feel like I'll regret not chasing after my dreams, because I'll always wonder what if. I don't know which regret I'll hate more, but if I had to pick one, it'd be not going to medical school if I failed at writing.

I think you have way too much doubt about becoming a doctor to undertake such a journey, at least at this point. Becoming a doctor because you don't want to be an accountant and because you think you might enjoy it seem entirely insufficient as plausible reasons. You've got some huge decisions to make; take some time and figure out some steps you can take (volunteering, etc...) so you can have some confidence in your decision-making as you move forward.
 
I worked in EM for two years. And loved it. But it's not what you see on TV. You get a lot of psych patients that are extremely difficult, lots of sprained ankles, shoulders, wrists, etc, lots of coughs and colds, lots of belly pain, lots of narc seekers. You do get those occasional trauma patients but unless you're working at a level 1 or 2 trauma center in an urban city rife with accidents and gang activity, you likely won't see a lot of the cool stuff portrayed on popular TV medicine shows. I love EM because you never know what you're going to get day in and day out. I also thought working in a clinic would be boring but guess what? I also worked for a private ENT practice and loved that just as much as the ER. I'm not sure if you're trolling so if you are, do us a favor and stop wasting everyone's time. But if you aren't, you really need to get your stuff together and realize medicine isn't what you see on TV and that half an hour of sitting in the waiting room isn't enough for you to understand if you'd actually like working in a hospital or not and dealing with patients.

Just my two cents but what I do know.
 
Lol I'm not trolling. I'm thinking deep about this, and I'm just typing off the top of my head, without a filter. Everyone is so sensitive on this forum.
 
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