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- Nov 21, 2015
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Hey all. I'm an MS3 who has been very undecided all throughout medical so far about deciding which specialty I will apply for in the match. I've always shied away from surgery because my marriage and my mental sanity are my highest priorities and I need balance in my life outside of work. I know many surgeons will say that it's "doable" and that you can "make time". But I have always thought that it would just be easier if I chose literally anything else.
I always thought that I could at least do internal medicine. But I just finished my clerkship in internal medicine and I wanted to blow my brains out every day with how much I hated it. It's not at all an option for me anymore to do IM.
So ... here I am now. Two weeks into surgery and absolutely loving it. We have 24 hour call at my school and this is the first time I have actually *looked forward* to call days. Almost every day when I leave I'm almost sad that I have to and I can't wait to come back every day. It's exciting for me because I feel like I have found "my calling" and/or "my people".
However, and here is why I am posting in this forum, my husband hates it. He has been the most supportive spouse I could ask for all 2.5 years of med school so far. He has supported me and picked up the slack in so many ways without complaining. He has always said that he's ok with whatever I choose as long as I'm happy. .... but in the last two weeks we have hardly seen each other and it's getting to him. When I ask him what if I did surgery he says things like he doesn't want it to take me away from him. And I'm even LESS available than I already have been these first two years that it's bothering him. I've always said I don't want to be married to my job. But I'm starting to feel like this is where I'm supposed to be. I almost don't want to tell him about the exciting things that happened in my day because I feel guilty that I like surgery now.
Has anybody gone through something like this? Any advice on how I can get my husband to see how exciting this is for me? We have a happy marriage, I just think it's hard for him to understand my life sometimes since his career is something completely non-medicine related. Any comments/advice would be appreciated. I'm trying to both see his side of things but at the same time I don't want to give up on something that I've worked so hard for and is where I feel I belong.
I always thought that I could at least do internal medicine. But I just finished my clerkship in internal medicine and I wanted to blow my brains out every day with how much I hated it. It's not at all an option for me anymore to do IM.
So ... here I am now. Two weeks into surgery and absolutely loving it. We have 24 hour call at my school and this is the first time I have actually *looked forward* to call days. Almost every day when I leave I'm almost sad that I have to and I can't wait to come back every day. It's exciting for me because I feel like I have found "my calling" and/or "my people".
However, and here is why I am posting in this forum, my husband hates it. He has been the most supportive spouse I could ask for all 2.5 years of med school so far. He has supported me and picked up the slack in so many ways without complaining. He has always said that he's ok with whatever I choose as long as I'm happy. .... but in the last two weeks we have hardly seen each other and it's getting to him. When I ask him what if I did surgery he says things like he doesn't want it to take me away from him. And I'm even LESS available than I already have been these first two years that it's bothering him. I've always said I don't want to be married to my job. But I'm starting to feel like this is where I'm supposed to be. I almost don't want to tell him about the exciting things that happened in my day because I feel guilty that I like surgery now.
Has anybody gone through something like this? Any advice on how I can get my husband to see how exciting this is for me? We have a happy marriage, I just think it's hard for him to understand my life sometimes since his career is something completely non-medicine related. Any comments/advice would be appreciated. I'm trying to both see his side of things but at the same time I don't want to give up on something that I've worked so hard for and is where I feel I belong.