How to deal with family pressuring you to go into a specialty

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:whoa:

Quadruple boarded guy who hates on psychiatry...

love the field of psychiatry... I guess I am just a self-hating psychiatrist :)

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@LordLana
TV medicine is nothing, absolutely nothing like real medicine. It looks great on TV where all the drama is about the patients and doing the ethical thing, or some obscure illness or diagnosis, or (if you're watching some egregiously ridiculous crap like Grey's anatomy) relationships. The reality is that even those of us who love what we do (myself included) hate the system and the way it is implemented. You want to blame an individual or a program for what we say here (unhappy resident? Maybe you don't fit. Unhappy attending? Maybe you're not good at admin.) Trust me, it ain't us. It's the whole system that is geared toward helping bureaucrats, not doctors or patients. If you want a brutal, honest, unadulterated look at what it is actually like, read "the house of God" by Samuel Shem. Then, if you still want to do medicine after that, go for it. I did.

Thanks, I'll definitely check out the Shem book.

The videos I can talk about are too many, so let's center on one.


The physician here conveyed to us that his job is, and I quote myself, "hands-on, interesting, interactive, and fulfilling." I'm sure more complicated situations may arise in medicine, where for the well-being of our institution, we neglect to relay certain information or truths to the patient; we avoid performing treatments in certain cases for self or an institution's interest. Or, in order to be politically correct. If that is what you are referring to, yes, it is a barnacle, but we don't tread there frequently. My father, an orthodontist, sure didn't like corporate healthcare either. He had to divide his attention for patients he would've, personally, inspected for a longer duration.
@AnatomyGrey12 I did shadow a physician - orthopedist. Otherwise I wouldn't have earned an interview score that I did.
He was expected by the system to meet certain patient numbers within a week. BUT, although pace is accelerated, he's able to produce critical diagnosis in little time, and make quick yet precise strokes in surgery. You can get used to the system, gain proficiency in what you do in time, and certainly still offer adequate care for patients that come in. If you don't like being an employed physician, open your own clinic. Medicine isn't a corrupt ****show. Now, if there's something I didn't catch, even MORE subtle and compromising, then it certainly isn't my fault at this age for not seeing it.

I'm looking back to @AnatomyGrey12's assertion that I should not participate in accelerated programs, and I'm still speechless. What part of non-binding is so difficult to understand? https://forums.studentdoctor.net/threads/lecom-vs-nsucom.1242968/#post-18650912 I mean this guy acts like he is a physician and knows the nuts and bolts of the medical world. Is he a pre-med like his tag indicates or not?

I cited ER as the inspiration for my first steps in medicine not because I look forward to participating in the drama or dysfunctional doctor relationships. The cases and medical diagnosis are definitely accurate, and, the show doesn't always filter out ethical gray area issues. Not all cases in the ER are obscure and complex either. Christ, liberal thought on SDN is really limited when certain users here consider it necessary to start pissing contests if a young forum user posts surprisingly precocious statements - or even if it's incorrect and inexperienced opinions. Erratically, they consider young age a dealbreaker for speaking out in mature and complicated situations, and television shows on a certain career to be fully false and unrealistic.
I read a post on here. One med student mentioned in a post '50%~ D.O.'s enter primary care'. Another user asks where that statistic came from. A physician comes in and says "his ass", and receives more than a dozen likes from pre-meds, med students, and other physicians. The 50% stat isn't actually that bizarre at all: nearly 60% of D.O.'s practice in primary care specialties.

Then there's @michaelrack, who sees it acceptable to compromise for FM psych to satisfy the wife and parents' FM fetish, then finds it "hard to respect a doctor unless they have done a full medical/surgical/transitional internship year"

Well. By my cherried asian nipples, if there's a cancerous side on SDN, this is surely it.
 
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Thanks, I'll definitely check out the Shem book.

The videos I can talk about are too many, so let's center on one.


The physician here conveyed to us that his job is, and I quote myself, "hands-on, interesting, interactive, and fulfilling." I'm sure more complicated situations may arise in medicine, where for the well-being of our institution, we neglect to relay certain information or truths to the patient; we avoid performing treatments in certain cases for self or an institution's interest. Or, in order to be politically correct. If that is what you are referring to, yes, it is a barnacle, but we don't tread there frequently. My father, an orthodontist, sure didn't like corporate healthcare either. He had to divide his attention for patients he would've, personally, inspected for a longer duration.
@AnatomyGrey12 I did shadow a physician - orthopedist. Otherwise I wouldn't have earned an interview score that I did.
He was expected by the system to meet certain patient numbers within a week. BUT, although pace is accelerated, he's able to produce critical diagnosis in little time, and make quick yet precise strokes in surgery. You can get used to the system, gain proficiency in what you do in time, and certainly still offer adequate care for patients that come in. If you don't like being an employed physician, open your own clinic. Medicine isn't a corrupt ****show. Now, if there's something I didn't catch, even MORE subtle and compromising, then it certainly isn't my fault at this age for not seeing it.

I'm looking back to @AnatomyGrey12's assertion that I should not participate in accelerated programs, and I'm still speechless. What part of non-binding is so difficult to understand? https://forums.studentdoctor.net/threads/lecom-vs-nsucom.1242968/#post-18650912 I mean this guy acts like he is a physician and knows the nuts and bolts of the medical world. Is he a pre-med like his tag indicates or not?

I cited ER as the inspiration for my first steps in medicine not because I look forward to participating in the drama or dysfunctional doctor relationships. The cases and medical diagnosis are definitely accurate, and, the show doesn't always filter out ethical gray area issues. Not all cases in the ER are obscure and complex either. Christ, liberal thought on SDN is really limited when certain users here consider it necessary to start pissing contests if a young forum user posts surprisingly precocious statements - or even if it's incorrect and inexperienced opinions. Erratically, they consider young age a dealbreaker for speaking out in mature and complicated situations, and television shows on a certain career to be fully false and unrealistic.
I read a post on here. One med student mentioned in a post '50%~ D.O.'s enter primary care'. Another user asks where that statistic came from. A physician comes in and says "his ass", and receives more than a dozen likes from pre-meds, med students, and other physicians. The 50% stat isn't actually that bizarre at all: nearly 60% of D.O.'s practice in primary care specialties.

Then there's @michaelrack, who sees it acceptable to compromise for FM psych to satisfy the wife and parents' FM fetish, then finds it "hard to respect a doctor unless they have done a full medical/surgical/transitional internship year"

Well. By my cherried asian nipples, if there's a cancerous side on SDN, this is surely it.

tldr.

Your posts have nothing to do with this thread and are, honestly, outside the scope of medical student section of the forum. If you'd like to discuss what medical school and training are actually like, the pre-allo section is a better place for that. There are a good number of med students/residents/attendings who frequent over there and are happy to answer pre-med questions, but most of us here don't fit that criteria as we are all (painfully) too aware of what that entails and don't wish to debate it with someone who doesn't.

Let's keep this thread focused on helping current medical students, please.
 
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tldr.

Your posts have nothing to do with this thread and are, honestly, outside the scope of medical student section of the forum. If you'd like to discuss what medical school and training are actually like, the pre-allo section is a better place for that. There are a good number of med students/residents/attendings who frequent over there and are happy to answer pre-med questions, but most of us here don't fit that criteria as we are all (painfully) too aware of what that entails and don't wish to debate it with someone who doesn't.

Let's keep this thread focused on helping current medical students, please.

Although one reason I'm writing is to practice my rhetoric and thought structure, in preparation for higher education, what I send on this thread is a concise and refined version of what I think. It's important you demonstrate respect to individuals communicating their thoughts, by firstly, not typing 'tldr'. Even if it is off-topic - which you should also see in other threads.

My initial move on this thread was to offer a clear, well-thought, and insistent advice to Peach Newport. When I was instead censured for my age by another juvenile, I found it necessary to put him and similar forum users in their corner, and remind them of subtle yet important values they need to rethink and reinforce. Derailing the subject of the thread to something else would in fact be the consequence of SDN hosting a few members with compromised values spewing senseless nonsense. As long as they read these posts and process it in their mind, I've achieved a purpose.

This thread has already many good answers the OP is considering. Doesn't need any more comments, I don't think.
 
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For me it's hard to respect a doctor unless they have done a full medical/surgical/transitional internship year.

This is an awefully broad statement.

@LordLana
TV medicine is nothing, absolutely nothing like real medicine. It looks great on TV where all the drama is about the patients and doing the ethical thing, or some obscure illness or diagnosis, or (if you're watching some egregiously ridiculous crap like Grey's anatomy) relationships. The reality is that even those of us who love what we do (myself included) hate the system and the way it is implemented. You want to blame an individual or a program for what we say here (unhappy resident? Maybe you don't fit. Unhappy attending? Maybe you're not good at admin.) Trust me, it ain't us. It's the whole system that is geared toward helping bureaucrats, not doctors or patients. If you want a brutal, honest, unadulterated look at what it is actually like, read "the house of God" by Samuel Shem. Then, if you still want to do medicine after that, go for it. I did.

I think Scrubs most accurately portrays residency.
 
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Although one reason I'm writing is to practice my rhetoric and thought structure, in preparation for higher education, what I send on this thread is a concise and refined version of what I think. It's important you demonstrate respect to individuals communicating their thoughts, by firstly, not typing 'tldr'. Even if it is off-topic - which you should also see in other threads.

My initial move on this thread was to offer a clear, well-thought, and insistent advice to Peach Newport. When I was instead censured for my age by another juvenile, I found it necessary to put him and similar forum users in their corner, and remind them of subtle yet important values they need to rethink and reinforce. Derailing the subject of the thread to something else would in fact be the consequence of SDN hosting a few members with compromised values spewing senseless nonsense. As long as they read these posts and process it in their mind, I've achieved a purpose.

This thread has already many good answers the OP is considering. Doesn't need any more comments, I don't think.

Gotta hand it to you, you're exceptionally good at talking around questions, attacking those older, wiser, and way more experienced than you and all around showing that not only are you immature, but also someone I'm very glad I don't know. Bravo

Yes SDN is a great place to come and receive advice as you move towards becoming a physician, but there is also a time and place for you to speak. When you have zero life experience or education in medicine you probably should keep your opinions to yourself. Just a thought.
 
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Although one reason I'm writing is to practice my rhetoric and thought structure, in preparation for higher education, what I send on this thread is a concise and refined version of what I think. It's important you demonstrate respect to individuals communicating their thoughts, by firstly, not typing 'tldr'. Even if it is off-topic - which you should also see in other threads.

My initial move on this thread was to offer a clear, well-thought, and insistent advice to Peach Newport. When I was instead censured for my age by another juvenile, I found it necessary to put him and similar forum users in their corner, and remind them of subtle yet important values they need to rethink and reinforce. Derailing the subject of the thread to something else would in fact be the consequence of SDN hosting a few members with compromised values spewing senseless nonsense. As long as they read these posts and process it in their mind, I've achieved a purpose.

This thread has already many good answers the OP is considering. Doesn't need any more comments, I don't think.
buddy please do us a favor and go to law school and leave us alone
 
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Gotta hand it to you, you're exceptionally good at talking around questions, attacking those older, wiser, and way more experienced than you and all around showing that not only are you immature, but also someone I'm very glad I don't know. Bravo

Yes SDN is a great place to come and receive advice as you move towards becoming a physician, but there is also a time and place for you to speak. When you have zero life experience or education in medicine you probably should keep your opinions to yourself. Just a thought.

Your allegations really lack detail. I speak directly to an accusation. What questions specifically am I talking around?

Dear Lord of the Flies, I'm certainly not *attacking*. In that case I might cite @AnatomyGrey12's first comment of my age being a deal-breaker in offering opinoins, as an "attack". Certainly disregards free speech, and doesn't deal with centering on and judging if my claims are erroneous. (Grey, I'll give a response on the other thread shortly)

Being older and having done more shadowing and research doesn't make another pre-med "wise" in the general sense, only more knowledgable in a certain field. The "zero life experience and education" is certainly some sort of fabricated notion you came up with with absolutely no backing or evidence. And, if you've read my posts fully, you would see that is't the case.

Don't get me wrong, if an opinion or statement I post is incorrect, I'm receptive to critical response. But there's a difference between that and being sour and offensive. All of the community should respond in an educated, mature way, instead of jumping into criticism and censure. But in fact it seems like people are ready, just ready to start pissing tournaments.
 
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Your allegations really lack detail. I speak directly to an accusation. What questions specifically am I talking around?

Dear Lord of the Flies, I'm certainly not *attacking*. In that case I might cite @AnatomyGrey12's first comment of my age being a deal-breaker in offering opinoins, as an "attack". Certainly disregards free speech, and doesn't deal with centering on and judging if my claims are erroneous. (Grey, I'll give a response on the other thread shortly)

Being older and having done more shadowing and research doesn't make another pre-med "wise" in the general sense, only more knowledgable in a certain field. The "zero life experience and education" is certainly some sort of fabricated notion you came up with with absolutely no backing or evidence. And, if you've read my posts fully, you would see that is't the case.

Don't get me wrong, if an opinion or statement I post is incorrect, I'm receptive to critical response. But there's a difference between that and being sour and offensive. All of the community should respond in an educated, mature way, instead of jumping into criticism and censure. But in fact it seems like people are ready, just ready to start pissing tournaments.

Your statements have no basis in reality. You make statements based on a very limited experience and anecdotal evidence. As multiple others have stated until you have first hand experience working/volunteering in a hospital setting you are simply spewing. Instead of writing long posts on this forum trying to lend advice on a subject you don't actually have experience and a working knowledge of go on over to the PRE MED forum and enlighten yourself. Grey and I may be pre meds, but we've both been accepted to multiple schools, have a good deal of life experience, and most important don't offer advice on subjects we don't have any business offering on. It's not a pissing match as you say, but rather that you need to realize how little you know and would be wise to humble yourself as you have not even started the long journey that is undergrad, medical school, residency, and beyond.
 
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...what I send on this thread is a concise and refined version of what I think...
giphy.gif
 
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Dear Lord of the Flies, I'm certainly not *attacking*. In that case I might cite @AnatomyGrey12's first comment of my age being a deal-breaker in offering opinoins, as an "attack". Certainly disregards free speech, and doesn't deal with centering on and judging if my claims are erroneous. (Grey, I'll give a response on the other thread shortly)

You're first post was a high school student giving marriage advice. It was bad, and you shouldn't be giving it. I then told you as such. It was most definitely blunt and direct, but it was not an attack.
 
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Although one reason I'm writing is to practice my rhetoric and thought structure, in preparation for higher education, what I send on this thread is a concise and refined version of what I think. It's important you demonstrate respect to individuals communicating their thoughts, by firstly, not typing 'tldr'. Even if it is off-topic - which you should also see in other threads.

My initial move on this thread was to offer a clear, well-thought, and insistent advice to Peach Newport. When I was instead censured for my age by another juvenile, I found it necessary to put him and similar forum users in their corner, and remind them of subtle yet important values they need to rethink and reinforce. Derailing the subject of the thread to something else would in fact be the consequence of SDN hosting a few members with compromised values spewing senseless nonsense. As long as they read these posts and process it in their mind, I've achieved a purpose.

This thread has already many good answers the OP is considering. Doesn't need any more comments, I don't think.
Your allegations really lack detail. I speak directly to an accusation. What questions specifically am I talking around?

Dear Lord of the Flies, I'm certainly not *attacking*. In that case I might cite @AnatomyGrey12's first comment of my age being a deal-breaker in offering opinoins, as an "attack". Certainly disregards free speech, and doesn't deal with centering on and judging if my claims are erroneous. (Grey, I'll give a response on the other thread shortly)

Being older and having done more shadowing and research doesn't make another pre-med "wise" in the general sense, only more knowledgable in a certain field. The "zero life experience and education" is certainly some sort of fabricated notion you came up with with absolutely no backing or evidence. And, if you've read my posts fully, you would see that is't the case.

Don't get me wrong, if an opinion or statement I post is incorrect, I'm receptive to critical response. But there's a difference between that and being sour and offensive. All of the community should respond in an educated, mature way, instead of jumping into criticism and censure. But in fact it seems like people are ready, just ready to start pissing tournaments.
Do you talk like this IRL?
 
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Ditch her.

MS4 going into psychiatry here, so I'm gonna try my best to inspire you.

Psychiatry is a fantastic field. It is unique in that you get to deal directly with the human mind. Other areas of medicine deal with organs and organ systems, but psychiatry by its necessity has to deal with both the neurobiological foundation of mental life and the emergent property of consciousness itself. Psychiatry deals directly with that which is the seat of individual identity, personality, emotion, and conscious experience of the world. It involves treating disease processes which fundamentally impair a person's ability to experience and participate in the world in a normal, fulfilling, social way. Neuroscience and pharmacology are very much important in modern psychiatry, but so is the complex social task of getting into someone's mind with your own for both diagnostic and therapeutic effect. In this way, the field is both diagnostic and procedural. You get to be an expert in the way people think. You get a sixth sense, perhaps more than other providers, of when people are lying to you or manipulating you.

The people in psychiatry are also some of the best in medicine—people who are passionate about their work and have often chosen the field in spite of it involving a cut in pay and prestige compared to their other options. As a general rule, people support each other and support their patients. I have not found any program I interviewed at even remotely "malignant." Psychiatrists have some of the lowest rates of burnout and are generally very happy, easygoing people.

If people give you grief about doing what you're passionate about—especially after spending 8 years getting to that point—ditch those people. Those people deserve the middle finger, not a ring on their finger. Be proud of who you are. You're going to be a doctor and you deserve it. No matter what anyone else says, no specialty makes you more or less a "real doctor" than any other.
 
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Would you honestly just dump your fiancée and sacrifice the respect of your parents to pursue a field? It seemed like an easy choice to me too, in theory. But this was before I realized that I would actually be forced to make it myself.

I think there are two things to consider (among others) one how much do you love your fiancé? Is her saying that a huge red flag? Two, would you be happy doing something that either she or your family approves of? Its easy for us to sit back and say "dump that *****" but in reality love is a strong emotion. Definitely would think long and hard about your relationship though if she has said those words to you. Best of luck!
 
Your allegations really lack detail. I speak directly to an accusation. What questions specifically am I talking around?

Dear Lord of the Flies, I'm certainly not *attacking*. In that case I might cite @AnatomyGrey12's first comment of my age being a deal-breaker in offering opinoins, as an "attack". Certainly disregards free speech, and doesn't deal with centering on and judging if my claims are erroneous. (Grey, I'll give a response on the other thread shortly)

Being older and having done more shadowing and research doesn't make another pre-med "wise" in the general sense, only more knowledgable in a certain field. The "zero life experience and education" is certainly some sort of fabricated notion you came up with with absolutely no backing or evidence. And, if you've read my posts fully, you would see that is't the case.

Don't get me wrong, if an opinion or statement I post is incorrect, I'm receptive to critical response. But there's a difference between that and being sour and offensive. All of the community should respond in an educated, mature way, instead of jumping into criticism and censure. But in fact it seems like people are ready, just ready to start pissing tournaments.

Dude you're really annoying. Please fix it before you start medical school
 
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I think Scrubs most accurately portrays residency.

Off topic, but from my (limited) experience with residents and general experience working in medicine it seems like the closest thing to reality. Obviously a lot of hyperbole and goofiness thrown in, but the a lot of the themes are actually relevant to what I've seen irl (dealing with that a-hole attending, administrators who care about the numbers and money over patient care, dealing with a patient you like dying, getting something wrong and having to tell the patient/family about the fallout). It's a nice change to see a show that tries to be insightful into what residents actually go through instead of one that just caters to the glamour and dramatic crap that the public likes to imagine.
 
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You're first post was a high school student giving marriage advice. It was bad, and you shouldn't be giving it. I then told you as such. It was most definitely blunt and direct, but it was not an attack.

The 'advice' definitely wasn't bad. To criticize the comment, you need to cite it, and explain why it was bad. Otherwise all you've typed here is an unclarified conjecture.

Your statements have no basis in reality. You make statements based on a very limited experience and anecdotal evidence. As multiple others have stated until you have first hand experience working/volunteering in a hospital setting you are simply spewing. Instead of writing long posts on this forum trying to lend advice on a subject you don't actually have experience and a working knowledge of go on over to the PRE MED forum and enlighten yourself. Grey and I may be pre meds, but we've both been accepted to multiple schools, have a good deal of life experience, and most important don't offer advice on subjects we don't have any business offering on. It's not a pissing match as you say, but rather that you need to realize how little you know and would be wise to humble yourself as you have not even started the long journey that is undergrad, medical school, residency, and beyond.

As all high school pre-meds have done, and certainly those applying to BS/DO, I've shadowed a doctor for a minimum of two months. I definitely don't have as deep an experience working in the medical field as you two; my own experience is limited, but broad enough for me to make the conclusions I expressed on this thread. You can start to quote them and question them, and I'll follow up with ya.

The age doesn't matter at all; it all depends on the extent to which you understand human conduct. Stop thinking age and more years of studying the sciences makes you intellectually superior to HS seniors. It's getting ludicrous. Being a few years older certainly does not mean you have a higher IQ or a deeper knowledge base outside of academics. You think you're qualified on telling me I lack humility, and shouldn't offer marriage advice? Marriage isn't some convoluted world only aged people can understand and decode. This is where you need to stop. Specifically, stop saying a person's opinions on any topic should be held silent and unexpressed. What are you, Leader Mao?

If you don't know the answer to a medical inquiry on the forums, you don't answer. The OP isn't asking something about a medical topic, Rams.

Oh wait. You're a pre-med as well, and half of the people offering opinions in this thread are pre-med and med students. Surely, you and these other students aren't married. facepalm...
 
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Off topic, but from my (limited) experience with residents and general experience working in medicine it seems like the closest thing to reality. Obviously a lot of hyperbole and goofiness thrown in, but the a lot of the themes are actually relevant to what I've seen irl (dealing with that a-hole attending, administrators who care about the numbers and money over patient care, dealing with a patient you like dying, getting something wrong and having to tell the patient/family about the fallout). It's a nice change to see a show that tries to be insightful into what residents actually go through instead of one that just caters to the glamour and dramatic crap that the public likes to imagine.

Couldn't agree more. :) scrubs was created by doctors... It's very accurate and quite hilarious. I personally know a Dr Cox, a Turk, and of course many The Todds (I'm an orthopod after all).
 
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Stop thinking age and more years of studying the sciences makes you intellectually superior to HS seniors.

IMG_1491.JPG


a deeper knowledge base outside of academics.

It does actually.

You think you're qualified on telling me I lack humility, and shouldn't offer marriage advice?

Yes. Because uh I am freaking married and you are a teenager.

Marriage isn't some convoluted world only aged people can understand and decode.

Have you been married? Oh no? Ok so stop posting about that which you know nothing.
 
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View attachment 215201



It does actually.



Yes. Because uh I am freaking married and you are a teenager.



Have you been married? Oh no? Ok so stop posting about that which you know nothing.

You're married, as a soon-to-be M1? Is that what you're trying to say?

"Being a few years older certainly does not mean you have a higher IQ or a deeper knowledge base outside of academics." It still stands. Don't try to cherry-pick your way out of this.

"Yes. Because uh I am freaking married and you are a teenager." You aren't married.

On the other hand, let's say you are married. Why are you married as a undergrad senior? I certainly wouldn't marry anyone at 22 years old. Doing that is simply insanity and utter lunacy.
 
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The 'advice' definitely wasn't bad. To criticize the comment, you need to cite it, and explain why it was bad. Otherwise all you've typed here is an unclarified conjecture.



As all high school pre-meds have done, and certainly those applying to BS/DO, I've shadowed a doctor for a minimum of two months. I definitely don't have as deep an experience working in the medical field as you two; my own experience is limited, but broad enough for me to make the conclusions I expressed on this thread. You can start to quote them and question them, and I'll follow up with ya.

The age doesn't matter at all; it all depends on the extent to which you understand human conduct. Stop thinking age and more years of studying the sciences makes you intellectually superior to HS seniors. It's getting ludicrous. Being a few years older certainly does not mean you have a higher IQ or a deeper knowledge base outside of academics. You think you're qualified on telling me I lack humility, and shouldn't offer marriage advice? Marriage isn't some convoluted world only aged people can understand and decode. This is where you need to stop. Specifically, stop saying a person's opinions on any topic should be held silent and unexpressed. What are you, Leader Mao?

If you don't know the answer to a medical inquiry on the forums, you don't answer. The OP isn't asking something about a medical topic, Rams.

Oh wait. You're a pre-med as well, and half of the people offering opinions in this thread are pre-med and med students. Surely, you and these other students aren't married. facepalm...
reddit.com/r/iamverysmart
 
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You're married, as a soon-to-be M1? Is that what you're trying to say?

"Being a few years older certainly does not mean you have a higher IQ or a deeper knowledge base outside of academics." It still stands. Don't try to cherry-pick your way out of this.

"Yes. Because uh I am freaking married and you are a teenager." You aren't married.

On the other hand, let's say you are married. Why are you married as a undergrad senior? I certainly wouldn't marry anyone at 22 years old. Doing that is simply insanity and utter lunacy.
giphy.gif
 
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I do, but this is going nowhere.
Imagine that...

Too many big people in their twenties who don't want a kid on here.
Some of us are older than twenties and have much more life experience and education (which apparently doesn't matter because the buck stops at 17-18 according to you), something you can't truly appreciate until you're in that position and humbles you. If you truly think IQ is the end-all of cognitive assessment/abilities, I strongly encourage you to take some upper level cognitive psych/neuroscience courses while completing the "BS" portion of your "BS/DO" program.

Finally.
 
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Oh, misread the title. Thought it read: "How to deal with family pressuring you in becoming a physician"

On a serious note, this is a little cliche, but do what you feel most passionate about. At the end of the day, I hope you place your patients above all else, and in doing so you will need to pursue a field that you enjoy doing, not only for you but also for your patients.

I definitely would not want to be seen by a physician who drags his line of work. It simply does not equate to high quality of care.
 
You're married, as a soon-to-be M1? Is that what you're trying to say?

"Being a few years older certainly does not mean you have a higher IQ or a deeper knowledge base outside of academics." It still stands. Don't try to cherry-pick your way out of this.

"Yes. Because uh I am freaking married and you are a teenager." You aren't married.

On the other hand, let's say you are married. Why are you married as a undergrad senior? I certainly wouldn't marry anyone at 22 years old. Doing that is simply insanity and utter lunacy.

Not that I'm assuming @AnatomyGrey12 's age, but you realize that you can be a college senior and not be 22, right? I just finished college last year due to some detours and I was 32. I'm married with two kids.

You have no idea what you're talking about.

Also, you can be married at 22. Grow up.
 
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I will forever wonder what this feels like. My family has never pressured me to do anything. Come to think of it, maybe that is not a good thing either...
Then your family is surely solvent. And never ask you to do anything.
 
Not that I'm assuming @AnatomyGrey12 's age, but you realize that you can be a college senior and not be 22, right? I just finished college last year due to some detours and I was 32. I'm married with two kids.

You have no idea what you're talking about.

Also, you can be married at 22. Grow up.

If you persist to post things irrelevant to the thread topic, ignoring the Admin's direction to take off-topic posts elsewhere, I'm afraid you've dumbed yourself down to the point of "grow up" as well - lack of self-control.

I don't know what his age is specifically, but he didn't retort my claim that he was 22. I guess my claim is that I wouldn't marry anyone that hasn't obtained a solid job, or at least finished graduate school. It's not about how fitting the partner is for you, or how sure you are that they are the one. If you're loaded with debt and can't provide the family with a steady income yet, don't place a ring on someone else's finger. Nobody would dare - and he shouldn't, either.

But naturally, being a member of SDN who has been so vocal, I naturally assumed he was sane, and so dismissed his argument that he was married.
 
I'll give a response to that incoherent rebuttal when I finish my work today.

I really hope you don't act like this to your classmates. When everyone on the forum thinks you're over stepping, don't have an idea of what you're talking about, and simply wants you to go back to your high school Chem class maybe you're the problem here not everyone else.
 
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If you persist to post things irrelevant to the thread topic, ignoring the Admin's direction to take off-topic posts elsewhere, I'm afraid you've dumbed yourself down to the point of "grow up" as well - lack of self-control.

I don't know what his age is specifically, but he didn't retort my claim that he was 22. I guess my claim is that I wouldn't marry anyone that hasn't obtained a solid job, or at least finished graduate school. It's not about how fitting the partner is for you, or how sure you are that they are the one. If you're loaded with debt and can't provide the family with a steady income yet, don't place a ring on someone else's finger. Nobody would dare - and he shouldn't, either.

But naturally, being a member of SDN who has been so vocal, I naturally assumed he was sane, and so dismissed his argument that he was married.

It actually is relevant, since you gave advice to the OP that you are completely unqualified to give, and it was bad advice. People calling you on that and correcting you aren't off-topic. But I'll let it go anyway.

And to the OP, @Peach Newport, you need to let her go. As someone who has been married for a bit and has kids and an arduous job, if my wife had told me when we were engaged that she would be embarrassed by my career choice and I chose to listen to her, it would be REALLY difficult now. We have a house and two kids and a ton of stuff, plus some minor shared debt.

She has shown you who she is, and unless you want to be miserable the rest of your life, stuck in a career you don't like with a woman who controls you and is "embarrassed" by you, you will ultimately end up going through a painful process called divorce which can be made infinitely more painful if you have kids in the interim.

So just like, don't do it man.

Edited to add some detail.
 
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It actually is relevant, since you gave advice to the OP that you are completely unqualified to give, and it was bad advice. People calling you on that and correcting you aren't off-topic. But I'll let it go anyway.

And to the OP, @Peach Newport, you need to let her go. As someone who has been married for a bit and has kids and an arduous job, if my wife had told me when we were engaged that she would be embarrassed by my career choice and I chose to listen to her, it would be REALLY difficult now. We have a house and two kids and a ton of stuff, plus some minor shared debt.

She has shown you who she is, and unless you want to be miserable the rest of your life, stuck in a career you don't like with a woman who controls you and is "embarrassed" by you, you will ultimately end up going through a painful process called divorce which can be made infinitely more painful if you have kids in the interim.

So just like, don't do it man.

Edited to add some detail.

I really hope you don't act like this to your classmates. When everyone on the forum thinks you're over stepping, don't have an idea of what you're talking about, and simply wants you to go back to your high school Chem class maybe you're the problem here not everyone else.

Using anecdotes non-pertaining to the issue at hand to criticize me, doesn't enhance the point at all, Rams. However, it might spark some perverse approval and satisfaction from certain individuals here, from your passively and intelligently directed insult.

The problem presented by the OP was very simple. If you consider high school seniors unqualified to give the advice:

"Compromising to a wife trying to coerce you into a specialty she unforunately, sexually fetishizes, and to your misguided parents improperly thinking psychiatrists deserve less respect, is a mistake. Their importance to you might sway you otherwise, but personal consequences to doing this will definitely bite you in the future."

It does takes critical thinking and objective analysis to come to the conclusion above, but not really as much as you're putting it. Not all HS grads are clueless children with interpretive skills subpar to undergraduate students and med school students. That's a unsubstantiated, incorrect bias, which isn't censured enough because it isn't commonly elicited. Most HS seniors who see this thread would stay silent, because 1. they're afraid of the confrontation they'll get by speaking out 2. they also think they should not present their opinions on mature, more complicated topics.

It's a logical fallacy some of you are experiencing here. A "superiority" complex. It's benign. Well, until a non-conformist character like me won't take the bs.
 
Using anecdotes non-pertaining to the issue at hand to criticize me, doesn't enhance the point at all, Rams. However, it might spark some perverse approval and satisfaction from certain individuals here, from your passively and intelligently directed insult.

The problem presented by the OP was very simple. If you consider high school seniors unqualified to give the advice:

"Compromising to a wife trying to coerce you into a specialty she unforunately, sexually fetishizes, and to your misguided parents improperly thinking psychiatrists deserve less respect, is a mistake. Their importance to you might sway you otherwise, but personal consequences to doing this will definitely bite you in the future."

It does takes critical thinking and objective analysis to come to the conclusion above, but not really as much as you're putting it. Not all HS grads are clueless children with interpretive skills subpar to undergraduate students and med school students. That's a unsubstantiated, incorrect bias, which isn't censured enough because it isn't commonly elicited. Most HS seniors who see this thread would stay silent, because 1. they're afraid of the confrontation they'll get by speaking out 2. they also think they should not present their opinions on mature, more complicated topics.

It's a logical fallacy some of you are experiencing here. A "superiority" complex. It's benign. Well, until a non-conformist character like me won't take the bs.

You can't see it because you're still young and immature, but when you are my age, you will realize how dumb and immature you were at 18. I thought I was older than my age and not just a dumb kid who thought he knew everything. But I was. I was a young, dumb, immature know-it-all, just like you are. It's fine. That's part of being a teenager. And part of growing up is moving past that, which you will hopefully. Most people do. It's not a superiority complex. It's just experience. I'm almost 15 years older than you. I've been an adult almost as long as you've been alive, so trust me when I tell you that you will see why we're telling you these things in time.

And you're not a non-conformist, btw.
 
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You can't see it because you're still young and immature, but when you are my age, you will realize how dumb and immature you were at 18. I thought I was older than my age and not just a dumb kid who thought he knew everything. But I was. I was a young, dumb, immature know-it-all, just like you are. It's fine. That's part of being a teenager. And part of growing up is moving past that, which you will hopefully. Most people do. It's not a superiority complex. It's just experience. I'm almost 15 years older than you. I've been an adult almost as long as you've been alive, so trust me when I tell you that you will see why we're telling you these things in time.

And you're not a non-conformist, btw.

The post went sour when Grey's Anatomy episode 12 decided to make an unnecesary comment about my qualifications to post the advice I did. The advice wasn't crappy - even though that's all users said in criticism of the advice. There lacks an intelligent response breaking down my initial advice given to the OP. It's not there. The simple anecdote "you're in high school, too young to give marriage advice" doesn't hold at all without substantiation. It almost seems the evasion is purposeful, in fact.

As for Matthew. You're in the navy, and almost twice as old as I am. The composed, objective, and respectable emphaticness in your text that is neither affront nor too critical, is very attractive.

Find me and take me home.
 
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The post went sour when Grey's Anatomy episode 12 decided to make an unnecesary comment about my qualifications to post the advice I did. The advice wasn't crappy - even though that's all users said in criticism of the advice. There lacks an intelligent response breaking down my initial advice given to the OP. It's not there. The simple anecdote "you're in high school, too young to give marriage advice" doesn't hold at all without substantiation. It almost seems the evasion is purposeful, in fact.

It may not seem substantial, but it really is. You wouldn't take medical advice from an undergrad, and you shouldn't take marriage advice from someone who has never been married. You simply don't know what you don't know, and therefore your advice doesn't come from a place of experience but a place of theory and fantasy.

As for Matthew. You're in the navy, and almost twice as old as I am. The composed, objective, and respectable emphaticness in your text that is neither affront or too critical, is very attractive.

Find me and take me home.

Well, this took a weird turn.
 
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It may not seem substantial, but it really is. You wouldn't take medical advice from an undergrad, and you shouldn't take marriage advice from someone who has never been married. You simply don't know what you don't know, and therefore your advice doesn't come from a place of experience but a place of theory and fantasy.



Well, this took a weird turn.

Not every nonsense a silly person sparks is a "marriage issue only answerable by people with life experience pertaining to similar circumstances". The issue was analyzed easily, and the advice provided was sane and consistent.

There should not have been a qualification censure from multiple triggered forum users.
 
Not every nonsense a silly person sparks is a "marriage issue only answerable by people with life experience pertaining to similar circumstances". The issue was analyzed easily, and the advice provided was sane and consistent.

There should not have been a qualification censure from multiple triggered forum users.
Nothing you have posted has been sane and consistent. Quit while you're behind.
 
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Not every nonsense a silly person sparks is a "marriage issue only answerable by people with life experience pertaining to similar circumstances". The issue was analyzed easily, and the advice provided was sane and consistent.

There should not have been a qualification censure from multiple triggered forum users.

This wasn't silly nonsense. This is a very serious issue with multiple components. It seems easy to say just dump her, but it's not that simple for some people. And no, you can't talk about being married or what will go into that if you've never been.
 
This wasn't silly nonsense. This is a very serious issue with multiple components. It seems easy to say just dump her, but it's not that simple for some people. And no, you can't talk about being married or what will go into that if you've never been.

The nonsense was with the premise to her rejection of what the OP desired as a career. It's ignorant and unempathetic, and certainly doesn't take even a HS student to identify.

I did not say this was a simple issue, nor did I advise the OP to 'just dump her' .
 
The nonsense was with the premise to her rejection of what the OP desired as a career. It's ignorant and unempathetic, and certainly doesn't take even a HS student to identify.

I did not say this was a simple issue, nor did I advise the OP to 'just dump her' .

Just for me personally, my issue isn't that. It doesn't take a married person to identify a superficial and selfish person, as you said. I'm just pointing out that the details of what marriage is like and what should go into the decision is beyond your scope. Ultimately, my experience leads me to advise OP to call off the engagement, but my advice might have some more weight since I've actually been married.

Regardless, I've given OP my opinion, so I'm bowing out unless OP quotes me.
 
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Just for me personally, my issue isn't that. It doesn't take a married person to identify a superficial and selfish person, as you said. I'm just pointing out that the details of what marriage is like and what should go into the decision is beyond your scope. Ultimately, my experience leads me to advise OP to call off the engagement, but my advice might have some more weight since I've actually been married.

Regardless, I've given OP my opinion, so I'm bowing out unless OP quotes me.

Sane.
 
My family and fiancée have always been supportive of my choices, but recently they've been seriously pressuring me about specialties to consider - and to not consider.

I started medical school wanting to do psych or path. My fiancée thought I'd grow out of it, and said she'd support me, but recently has told me in no uncertain terms that she will not be married to a psychiatrist or a pathologist. It's not about the money (shes been dropping "hints" that wants me in FM) - it's about the stigma. Psychiatrists are "pill pushers" who "aren't real doctors anyway" and "why would you bust your ass in medical school just to tread depression?" Also, pathologists are "creepy as f**k." She says that these aren't HER opinions, rather that this is "the world we live in." She also says that "psychiatry and pathology are important fields but I just wouldn't be attracted to you anymore." I hate to say it, but she might have a point.

My mom and dad agree with her - even though my mom is a child psychiatrist. My mother said that psychiatry is an "unfitting" profession for a male doctor and that she would be "a little embarrassed." My dad thinks psychiatry is a really important and vital field... but not for his son. Both my mom and dad think pathology is "for scientists, not for doctors." Neither of them or my fiancée wanted me to go to medical school, but they said "if you're going to medical school, you're going to be a real doctor." Incidentally, none of them see a difference between an MD and a DO, so as a DO I guess small blessings.

What do you do when you love a field, but you also love your family, your fiancée, and take their opinions seriously? The politically correct answer is always gonna be "screw their opinions and follow your dreams," but unfortunately I live in reality, and the opinions of people I love are important to me.

You won't have trouble attracting girls as a Psychiatrist or any other type of doctor. Call your fiancée's bluff by pursuing what you want and if she leaves you, find someone better who likes you for you, rather than your title. Even if you eventually decide against Psychiatry and Pathology, you should still break up with her, as she sounds very petty.
 
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