How important is it for residents to attend "social" functions?

[ExcaliburPrime1]

As a PGY-1 I find impressive that some of my co-interns have the time or energy to hang out. I went with them a few times (almost exclusively while I was on neurology consults, when I could actually leave at a reasonable hour, bless you neurologists!) and while it's nice to build up a bit of camaraderie, I feel the best use of my time is to go directly home and sleep, or maybe do once monthly exercise. Is that unreasonable?

The other social functions are program-related. The PD invited all of us to his house in a couple of weekends and again I'm not sure what is to be gained in that setting other than losing half of a precious weekend day off watching everyone squirm to avoid saying the wrong thing while making small talk, or worse, having to listen to THAT annoying intern talk about some supposed achievement med student gunner style, without getting the urge to shut them down. But if I don't go...

Bottom line is, what benefit/detriment can these events have and is it safe to politely decline and feign an obligation?

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[Merovinge]

You strike me as pretty introverted from the way you wrote that post, so I recognize what I am about to say is easier said than done for you. My experience was that camaraderie with your class is one of the most important parts of residency. Literally no one knows exactly what you are going through except your co-interns (and **** will go down, cool cases will be had). My class was pretty dysfunctional and had some competing people/cliques but I still feel pretty attached to most of them and a few are people I would be happy to call friends the rest of my life. I would have missed out on a lot of experiences if it were not for going out and building relationships with my classmates.

If you want a real anecdote, I finished a 24 hour call at 0800h, got home by 0900h, slept, woke up at 1300h, hit the shower, grabbed some beer/energy drinks and got myself to a huge St. Patrick's day party hosted by a resident from my hospital (different field). That was 3.2 years ago, the host is now one of my best friends and introduced me to my wife.

 

[OldPsychDoc]

I was just seeing a facebook update from a co-intern and wishing we could go out for a beer again...

 

[thoffen]

If I hadn't done that with my co-residents from the beginning I think I would have been pretty miserable. Residency will overwhelm your ego capacity at some point. You don't want to be alone when that happens.

 

[Armadillos]

Maybe I'm just at a program with great people, but I would consider essentially everyone in my class a friend even outside of work, which is an awesome thing to experience. I see some a lot more than others, but I can pass any of them in the hall and just talking for a minute brightens up even the most tiring days. I don't think this happened by accident, a couple of my classmates made a big effort as interns to get us together for stuff and its been a huge benefit to us all.

 

[clausewitz2]

Not sure how I would have survived my medicine months if I didn't spend most of those hours in a workroom that also contained two of my similarly off-service co-interns and sometimes more (due to FM/Psych people). I am not going to be BFFs with everyone or anything, but it is one of my great discontents of intern year that I was on call or night float for basically all of our big social events.

 

[LasVagus]

The most important thing is for you to do what you have to do to get through residency. Everybody is different. I, for one, find that social interaction requires a large amount of energy that I simply don't have at the end of the day. Others find themselves energized by social interaction (see all other posters above). It is certainly true that no one outside of medicine will ever understand the difficulties of being inside of medicine and there's a lot of benefit to the kind of validation that comes with venting to other residents. At the same time, I have always found that MDs have a very difficult time talking about anything other than medicine. This frustrates me. When I get off of work I want to talk about free will, artificial intelligence, poetry, and Lebron James. I don't want to spend my few precious free hours talking about what I spend every other waking second doing. Figure out what works for you!

 

[F0nzie]

As long as this guy doesn't show up


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[FlowRate]

I also don't always have energy at the end of the work day to go to events. But I do try to go to anything that's on a weekend day when I'm free.

 

[NickNaylor]

Benefits: opportunity to get to know your colleagues, get some kind of social interaction, networking
Detriments: time I guess?

During my first year, I didn't participate too much in social interactions within the class. I made it a point to do so during my second year and am very glad that I did. Building that social support - and getting to know your colleagues - is a great experience.

 

[HarryMTieboutMD]

No. no one cares what you do as an intern outside of work hours (as long as you're not getting arrested, causing a disturbance, making the program look bad, etc). If hanging out with other people helps you relax, then do it. Your PD isn't going to care if you don't go to his/her house. I used my one day a week off for laundry, exercise, grocery shopping, and sleep. Figure out what works for you in terms of self care, happiness, etc.

 

[tr]

I'm a huge introvert and when I was an incoming resident the program held a welcome party for all the new PGY-1s. I bailed figuring nobody would notice or care. Turned out it was a huge deal, they had all the PGY-1's names individually written on a cake, it was really obvious that I wasn't there and afterward lots of people asked me what happened and if I was OK, and said the PD had been asking about me at the event. I would show your face, make small talk for ten minutes, and then tell them you're really sorry but you have to go to your sister's baby shower or whatever.

 

[DetectiveAlonzo]

I want to just pick up extra moonlighting shifts for those residents who wanna party and stack that paper.

I pray I get to this in 3 years!

 

[MacDonaldTriad]

If there is a social event intended to introduce new interns to the other trainees and faculty, then yes this is fairly required or at least you need to RSVP "no" with a reason why. After that maybe your own graduation. The rest of the holiday parties or other events are more optional.

 

[deleted736562]

It's probably part of the "hidden curriculum" to certainly be visible, if not gregarious. It matters for the PD and the department to advertise themselves as a close knit group. It's really part of residency culture. Whether that is a good thing is a different thing. I, for one, cherish strong boundaries between work and personal life, so these social events are really just part of the job.

 

[northernpsy]

You don't HAVE to be friends with them, but it will probably end up making your life easier if you are perceived as a friendly guy/gal who gets along with everyone else, likes everyone else and is liked by everyone else.

 

[clausewitz2]

We

You don't HAVE to be friends with them, but it will probably end up making your life easier if you are perceived as a friendly guy/gal who gets along with everyone else, likes everyone else and is liked by everyone else.

This is the real answer. Also, when you get scheduled for a crappy call shift on the one weekend you were really hoping to be able to go to an event out of town and desperately need to switch with someone, much easier to pull off if you are on friendly terms with other people in your class.

 

[HarryMTieboutMD]

As long as this guy doesn't show up


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I would spend hours talking about/listening to/seeing Gilbert and Sullivan!

 

[battleship888]

I'm introverted but I would still go to things early and often and just be friendly and accessible. I know that if I do that I'll become extroverted around the group of people as I get to know them better. You could end up making really good friends too. If you are really that tired on occasion then like others have suggested you can just make short appearances and that sort of thing.

 

[bashir]

Official program-sponsored social events, attended by program leadership and/or faculty, tend to be at least a little bit awkward inherently because most of us can't be totally comfortable in front of our boss. I imagine these vary from program to program in terms of how pressured residents feel to attend, and from resident to resident in terms of how important it is to you to be well liked by program leadership. Personally I go to these types of events if I feel like it and skip them if I have something better to do.

Resident-only get togethers are a different ball of wax. I think you'll find that if you make yourself go to a few of these, you will eventually start to enjoy them and maybe even develop some meaningful relationships. You may be someone who takes a little longer to get to know people and open up to others. If that's the case I would suggest the answer is to give yourself more time to bond with your co-residents before concluding it's not worth it. I know internship is a busy time, but getting to know your co-residents is an investment of your time with a high likelihood of paying off.

 

[psychMDhopefully]

I'm a huge introvert and when I was an incoming resident the program held a welcome party for all the new PGY-1s. I bailed figuring nobody would notice or care. Turned out it was a huge deal, they had all the PGY-1's names individually written on a cake, it was really obvious that I wasn't there and afterward lots of people asked me what happened and if I was OK, and said the PD had been asking about me at the event. I would show your face, make small talk for ten minutes, and then tell them you're really sorry but you have to go to your sister's baby shower or whatever.

I think this is cool, maybe I'll make friends in residency since I only have(had?) like 3 or 4 in med school, most of whom I don't even talk to now. As for the OP being too tired to go out, I thought psychiatry residency was chill? That's what everyone else says.

 

[clausewitz2]

I think this is cool, maybe I'll make friends in residency since I only have(had?) like 3 or 4 in med school, most of whom I don't even talk to now. As for the OP being too tired to go out, I thought psychiatry residency was chill? That's what everyone else says.

Intern year is half-spent on medicine or neurology, fields that have traditionally not understood the meaning of chill. As it happens my neuro months were some of my chillest, but then my program also is not a program for people who don't want to work.

 

[OrthoBod]

I think I am pretty similar to OP.
Almost same train of thoughts. I could rather be at gym picking up on my missed workouts or just hanging out with my non medical friends. But all i know is that it is a big deal. Some people take offense in it. The times I showed up, I am glad i did. Other times when i did not, the gap between me and the other residents kind of increased.
There were also times that i did not give a flying **** about anyone. Too tired and too exausted to care.

Id say, just do your thing. If sitting at home, having tea by youself although sounds lonely and introverted makes you happy, the **** anyone else what they say. Do what relaxes you.

On the other side, too much interaction... is detrimental as well. Keep a good distance. Appear friendly, kind, down to earth, humble, help out the other Pgy1s, form solid friendships. This year wont come back =( I am almost ending mine and it was crazy fun. (Orthopedics)

 

[HarryMTieboutMD]

I think I am pretty similar to OP.
Almost same train of thoughts. I could rather be at gym picking up on my missed workouts or just hanging out with my non medical friends. But all i know is that it is a big deal. Some people take offense in it. The times I showed up, I am glad i did. Other times when i did not, the gap between me and the other residents kind of increased.
There were also times that i did not give a flying **** about anyone. Too tired and too exausted to care.

Id say, just do your thing. If sitting at home, having tea by youself although sounds lonely and introverted makes you happy, the **** anyone else what they say. Do what relaxes you.

On the other side, too much interaction... is detrimental as well. Keep a good distance. Appear friendly, kind, down to earth, humble, help out the other Pgy1s, form solid friendships. This year wont come back =( I am almost ending mine and it was crazy fun. (Orthopedics)

I love everything about this post. Also- you will love your remaining years as you probably know- moon suits, stryker saws, yelling at 'terns, grunting, and consulting medicine for everything you don't want to do- that's glory

 

[OrthoBod]

Haha nice one.

 

[postbacpremed87]

Idk. It may sound sappy but I am ready to be in the trenches with my future residency class. It is nice knowing that someone else is going through the same thing that you are. You can always call them up to grab a beer and talk about things. I hope that there are some programs where the faculty are that open as well. The residents can buy a faculty member a beer in exchange for them imparting their wisdom.

 

[OldPsychDoc]

Idk. It may sound sappy but I am ready to be in the trenches with my future residency class. It is nice knowing that someone else is going through the same thing that you are. You can always call them up to grab a beer and talk about things. I hope that there are some programs where the faculty are that open as well. The residents can buy a faculty member a beer in exchange for them imparting their wisdom.

Always let the attending pick up the check.

 

[postbacpremed87]

Always let the attending pick up the check.

No problem with that here.

 

[SeniorWrangler]

Pretty important in my opinion, you want to show up and show support for the program. You will probably need to do this occasionally for the rest of your professional life, so might as well get comfortable. "Don't be smart in school and dumb on the bus."

My suggestion: come early with a nice present for the host (bottle of wine, home-made cookies, flowers), act gregarious and interested for a little while, then take off after an hour or whenever you get antsy after thanking your host personally. This leaves an excellent impression and even an extreme introvert can put on a happy face for 90 minutes if they have to.

 

[masterofmonkeys]

SeniorWrangler nailed it. Show up, be friendly, give everyone some attention. Vanish when you want to.

 

[Jules A]

As trite as the term networking sounds in my experience it is invaluable for support, opportunities and inside information regarding wages. No one is going to understand your world like your peers and we are an incestous bunch so fostering even casual relationships will likely be of benefit in the future.

 

[NickNaylor]

Pretty important in my opinion, you want to show up and show support for the program. You will probably need to do this occasionally for the rest of your professional life, so might as well get comfortable. "Don't be smart in school and dumb on the bus."

My suggestion: come early with a nice present for the host (bottle of wine, home-made cookies, flowers), act gregarious and interested for a little while, then take off after an hour or whenever you get antsy after thanking your host personally. This leaves an excellent impression and even an extreme introvert can put on a happy face for 90 minutes if they have to.

Completely agree. I think there's value in just showing your face and being seen. Doesn't necessarily require being a social butterfly. I personally hate these events but usually make a brief appearance - typically no more than an hour - at these kinds of things for the above.

 

[carlosc1dbz]

If you have nothing better to do, then go. Don't just Nexflix and chill by your self instead of going. Showing your face at these events every now and then is not going to get you much, it is not going to get your special preference, but it is important to have a sense of community in your program, otherwise you are just doing teleresidency lol. Make the most of residency, it should be fun. Well, back to my life..... ♩ ♪ ♫ ♬ Hello darkness my old friend ♩ ♪ ♫ ♬.....