I'll try to keep this concise. I matched into a psychiatry residency program for this upcoming year. While I am happy with my choice, it would appear that my family is not. I have repeatedly said to my mother, that I am applying to psychiatry and family medicine, and I prefer psychiatry more. It is as if she had selective hearing, and completely overlooked my intentions to go into psychiatry. When I told her where I matched, she was shocked, and legitimately appeared devastated. And a few days ago, she had said to me that she hasn't slept well since I told her of the news- that I matched into the field. I have two medicine physicians in my family, and both have borderline criticized my choice, saying "oh, you had a lot of potential," or "no one in our community will respect you now...great."
Hearing / seeing these reactions is crushing to me; I've put in so much work to get to where I am, and I'm not asking for acknowledgement, but it would be nice to not have to go through all of this. It is absolutely making me second guess my decision. What hurts more is knowing that it is absolutely crushing my mom. She, superficially, says everything is okay, but I can tell she is hurting inside. It also upsets / angers me that it is bothering her more because she won't be able to use me to "brag" to her friends. She feels as though her friends / family will think lowly of me, which in turn means she will look bad as well. All of this sounds unhealthy, I know. I've mentioned to her that with psychiatry, I'll be more specialized, will have a beautiful work-life balance, will be in demand, which will equate to a higher salary in proportion to the hours I'm putting in. She didn't seem to be too moved by that. I've also said to her that if I don't like psychiatry after my intern year, I could apply to family medicine or internal medicine, and switch, which literally brightened up her day. And ever since then, she has daily mentioned to me, albeit subtly, that she sees me more as a "medical doctor."
I feel pretty depressed about the situation I am in. Why should I suffer through a grueling internal medicine or family medicine residency, with a probable pay cut, just so my mom is happy. I like medicine, and have enjoyed the rotations, but I want to be practical. I don't need to make a boat load of money (and I doubt medicine will give me that, unless I specialize), but I would much rather be in a profession that I find interesting, and one in which ill have a good work-life balance. I literally feel like I'm at my lowest right now. All this constant talk by my family members, of how I won't be respected, everyone will think I'm mentally ill too, I wont be considered a real doctor, I wasted 4 years of medical school, etc. is really eating me up. I think realistically, I need to leave the house because it is toxic to my mental health.
Any comments, or suggestions? I know a post similar to this may have been posted earlier, but I wanted to share my specific story. I wanted to add that my family is of south asian descent, and I guess in that culture, mental health isn't a real thing / there is clear stigma of the profession. I would really appreciate any advice.
Hearing / seeing these reactions is crushing to me; I've put in so much work to get to where I am, and I'm not asking for acknowledgement, but it would be nice to not have to go through all of this. It is absolutely making me second guess my decision. What hurts more is knowing that it is absolutely crushing my mom. She, superficially, says everything is okay, but I can tell she is hurting inside. It also upsets / angers me that it is bothering her more because she won't be able to use me to "brag" to her friends. She feels as though her friends / family will think lowly of me, which in turn means she will look bad as well. All of this sounds unhealthy, I know. I've mentioned to her that with psychiatry, I'll be more specialized, will have a beautiful work-life balance, will be in demand, which will equate to a higher salary in proportion to the hours I'm putting in. She didn't seem to be too moved by that. I've also said to her that if I don't like psychiatry after my intern year, I could apply to family medicine or internal medicine, and switch, which literally brightened up her day. And ever since then, she has daily mentioned to me, albeit subtly, that she sees me more as a "medical doctor."
I feel pretty depressed about the situation I am in. Why should I suffer through a grueling internal medicine or family medicine residency, with a probable pay cut, just so my mom is happy. I like medicine, and have enjoyed the rotations, but I want to be practical. I don't need to make a boat load of money (and I doubt medicine will give me that, unless I specialize), but I would much rather be in a profession that I find interesting, and one in which ill have a good work-life balance. I literally feel like I'm at my lowest right now. All this constant talk by my family members, of how I won't be respected, everyone will think I'm mentally ill too, I wont be considered a real doctor, I wasted 4 years of medical school, etc. is really eating me up. I think realistically, I need to leave the house because it is toxic to my mental health.
Any comments, or suggestions? I know a post similar to this may have been posted earlier, but I wanted to share my specific story. I wanted to add that my family is of south asian descent, and I guess in that culture, mental health isn't a real thing / there is clear stigma of the profession. I would really appreciate any advice.
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